DISCLAIMER - Sadly, (though luckily for the franchise) we are not the creators of Star Trek.
Spock stood on the bridge of the Enterprise, his ears perky, his long eyelashes fluttering, and his uniform as blue and tight as ever. He surveyed all around him and was pleased: everything was in order, everyone was at work, just as things should be.
Suddenly, an arrow made of cupcakes flew out of the main screen. A siren started wailing its infernal cry of "Red Alert! Red Alert!" as the arrow hit Spock in the face and he collapsed facedown on the ground. Kirk leapt from his chair with a loud cry; everyone was extremely confused about what had happened. Uhura came rushing onto the bridge yelling, "Is he dead, Jim?" as everyone clustered around murmuring, worried about their science officer.
Kirk waved them back and leaned over his dear friend, frowning. He carefully turned Spock onto his back. There didn't seem to be any blood. "No, not this time, I think," he said. "We need to find out what happened before we come to any real conclusions. Someone call Bones, I'll take him to the-"
He was interrupted by a stream of projectile vomit streaming from Spock's mouth as he regurgitated the cupcakes that had landed in his mouth, soaking Kirk in the process. Kirk jumped upright, complaining, "God! This is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen him do, and I've seen him during pon farr. Someone clean up in here!" He pulled off a cupcake that had stuck to his face and marched off towards the lab to have it analyzed.
As Jim walked through the corridors of the Enterprise, he felt the strangest feeling come over him. He stopped in his tracks and frowned. He decided it was nothing and started walking again. As he walked on, his skin flushed, his heart began to beat faster than he had ever felt it before, and his mind was filled with beautiful images of his pointy-eared science officer's globular butt. He broke into a run, skidding into the lab panting, "Bones! Help! I'm going nuts here!"
McCoy looked up from a Tribble he was dissecting. "What seems to be the problem?" he asked.
"Spock's glorious buttocks!" yelled Kirk in desperation as a vision of said buttocks danced before his eyes.
McCoy said, "Well, you seem to have gone crazy. I'm going to knock you out with this hammer and watch your brainwaves dance while you dream about that pointy-eared, green-blooded hobgoblin. Then maybe I can figure out the problem." He knocked out Kirk and began to hook him up to several dangerous-looking machines.
As he was sticking an electrode on Kirk's wrist, he noticed that the Captain's hand was clenched around something. He pried open Kirk's hand and lifted up a soggy lime-green cupcake. "What in the world-" he whispered.
Then, he suddenly seized up. His mouth fell open. Visions of Spock parading around in a bikini filled his mind.
It was too beautiful for him. McCoy fainted.
What in the world is happening to the Enterprise? Read on!
If you review mine, I can review yours in exchange! Just tell me which story you want me to read, and I'll do it. Because I love you more than Kirk loves Spock's divalicious butt.