Alright guy`s. I don`t own anything but my own ideas and if I would own One Piece neither Ace nor Whitebeard would be dead.

This was random. Like… I found a song on youtube and I laughed so hard that I decided to write a story with the same situation. Actually if you recognize the song that would be hilarious too.

I do hope that I don't offend anyone with this. It`s all in good fun and without any hate. If I accidently did so, please inform me so that I either may explain myself or correct any offending content into something acceptable.

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„What in the world are you talking about?"

His brow furrowed in confusion. Thatch`s big brown eyes looked at him startled. "What do you mean?" Marco raised a brow. "I am not gay, yoi!"

"What?" Thatch blinked. "But you are!"

Marco stared at him. "Why in the world would you think I`m gay?" Marco stared blankly at his brother. "Seriously! Where did you even get that idea from?" Setting down his book he turned to face his brother completely. Sometimes he really wanted to strangle the idiot.

Their conversation certainly took a weird turn. How it switched from Thatch talking about some weird dating show into suggesting that Marco should apply to join since they also featured non-straight guys and girls, he`ll never know.

"But….! You never look at the ladies! And you said that if you were pop`s age you might have married him so you would have the official title of mother. Also you`re reading Kafka!" Thatch looked quite proud of his conclusion. "See! You are totally gay!"

The blond sighted. "That did not make any sense. I simply never found a woman suited to me. Marrying Pop´s was a really bad joke Jozu made when he was drunk. And what the hell is wrong with Kafka? That argument is not even an argument, yoi. That's bullshit. Also YOU are gay and you do not fulfil any of your stupid reasoning. "

The cook pouted. "But I was so sure…" Marco groaned. What did he do to deserve this? He leaned back into the couch again. "I`m not gay." Thatch stared. Then he grinned. Starting to get wary Marco narrowed his eyes. He started "What..". "Now I understand! You are shy!" His brother crowed and looked way too proud of himself. Marco stared. "I…give up." Grabbing his book he turned out Thatch`s voice and concentrated on the sane things in the world. Books.

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"You should meet my brother Marco." Izo introduced him with flourish. The guy in front of him was quite handsome. Blond curly hair surrounded a handsome face. Wearing an expensive looking, dark blue suit he fitted right into Izo`s fancy art exhibition.

"Hi I`m Sabo." The guy grinned friendly at him. "It`s a pleasure, yoi." Still confused about this sudden introduction he looked expectantly at Izo. Who looked right back at him with a glint in his eyes. Not suspicious at all. "I think I need to find Haruta. He might be causing trouble again." Izo smirked while turning to leave. "You two have fun! " Izo glided away looking way too pleased.

He turned his attention back to Sabo. The other blond seemed startled as well. "Well… it seems like my brother planned something? I mean.. Do you have an idea, yoi?" Sabo chuckled. " I wouldn't know. Though I suspect that he might be trying to set us up. He mentioned at least three times that you are single. " Marco stared at the guy. What?

"I´m not gay." Sabo blinked. "Oh. Well this makes getting out of any potential dates rather easy." The blue gentlemen chuckled awkwardly. Marco`s eyebrow twitched. Well at least they were on the same page.

Having established that Izo`s setting up is not to be further acknowledged, Sabo turned out to be a good conversation partner with a quick mind and a silver tongue. He might even call it a pleasant evening. When the last of the guests left the opening celebration of the exhibition Marco found himself surrounded by Izo, Vista and Thatch.

"Well how did it go? Actually why didn`t you leave with him!?" God his brothers were idiots. "Why in the world would I do that?" He looked expectantly at Vista. "Well…" The black haired magician cocked his head. "..he was handsome?" Marco`s eyebrow twitched again. "And what, yoi?" Izo snorted. "You two would be perfect for each other. Sabo is polite, good looking and kind. He`s perfect for you!"

"I`m not gay." His brothers looked at him. "I`m not gay, yoi. Seriously!" "There is really no need to be shy. We all saw how well you two got along."

One day. One day he will strangle that idiotic cook. And it will be satisfying.

"I am not gay!" with these words he turned around and went home. Because he was done with his family for the day. So done.

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Walking relaxed down the mall he watched the people around him hurrying through their shopping. He was heading towards an old weapon shop to get a good present for Rakuyou`s birthday in the following week. That man loved his weapons way too much.

Loud voices behind him caught his attention. He turned towards the noise and blinked startled. Sabo from Izo`s exhibition was fighting loudly with another guy. A shirtless guy. A very handsome guy with blazing brown eyes. And they were heading straight towards him. Sweet Jesus the other guy. Black hair framed an adorable face, sprinkled with cute freckles. Rock hard chest and rippling abs. God. That body was perfect. No blemish and formed like the frame of an ancient hero. That guys was like a wet dream walking.

…..Wait. Marco blinked. Apparently Sabo and the handsome guy weren`t fighting anymore. They were standing right in front of him. Sabo looking at him amused. "Not gay huh?"

Marco opened his mouth. He was going to give a coherent and sarcastic answer. He really was. It wasn`t him who just let out a strangled sound. Nope. Not him.

The black haired dream looked amused. "Well…I take that as a compliment." He grinned. Those cute freckles made him look younger that he probably was. "I`m Ace." "…Marco, yoi" The guy..Ace grinned. Marco knew he was embarrassing himself. He knew he should restart his brain then dig a hole and hide himself.

Sabo seemed amused. "That's the guy from the exhibition who Izo tried to set me up with." Freckles chuckled. Their argument seemed to be forgotten, apparently to focus on Marco`s ridiculousness. "But I suppose we need to go. Koala is waiting for us after all. And she is scary when she gets mad. Really scary." Another sound left Marco`s throat. Equally entranced by the handsome man and mortified by his own reaction. Though the other two would hopefully see it as an acknowledgment and a goodbye. Well a guy can hope.

The black haired man grinned again. Grabbing Marco`s hand he started writing down a number. Where the hell did he even get that pen from!

With another grin Ace said goodbye, dragging a hysterically laughing Sabo with him. Well that went well. It took Marco another few minutes to start walking again. Right in the direction he came from. Rakuyou`s present will have to wait. He need`s to think.

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Sitting on the couch with pop`s was not unusual for Marco. Reading a book was in fact a very common occurrence. His father turned his head towards him in a silent question.

Marco grimaced.

"Alright, yoi. I am gay. Now leave me alone!"

Rich laughter filled the house while Marco pulled out his phone to reply to one of Ace text`s. Well at least his brothers will finally shut up.

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Ok soooooo. I never wrote a story with humour before but I hope at least some of you laughed. If you haven`t guessed yet which song I had playing just type the words "I`m not gay" into youtube. Listen to the song. I doubt you will regret it. It`s hilarious. I am still crying because I can`t stop laughing…

Anyway.

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