Wtf happened last night?

The gate opened to allow a single person through, he was wounded, bleeding and barely able to stand on his own two feet. He staggered through and collapsed in front of his sensei who seemed mildly impressed, "Well your running wasn't bad and the way you destroyed that tree was…hhmm…adequate, but you still need some work on your leap", Lee would've lifted his head for a reply but he was too worn out to do so, all he could do raise his large bushy eyebrows in amazement, his fellow team mate Tenten then came to his aid, picking him up and dragging him to the nearest restaurant, she slumped him on the seat and sat opposite him, "You look like you've been twelve rounds with Neji again, you're practically a wreck" she remarked "Do I really look that bad?" Lee, asked just managing to heave his neck to look at her, "If your body was a house you'd be an insurance write off" Tenten said with raised eyebrows and a matter-of-fact look on her face, Tenten then ordered a small plate of sushi for herself and Lee; they ate in silence and drank in silence. Lee felt slightly better after the meal but only because he had some food in his gut, he left the restaurant alone and trudged back to his apartment. He slowly ascended the stairs and entered his own space. He lay awake for hours and pondered his situation whilst staring at the ceiling, "Did I do something wrong in the past?" he thought aloud, "Is Gai Sensei punishing me for some reason?" he then ceased his confusion and began to get rid of his sorrows the only way he knew of.

Lee awoke back in his apartment with the most unlikely ninja asleep on his floor; Lee strained to see his uninvited guest but couldn't for the life of him see anything, his eyes then grew accustomed to the lack of light in his home and he came to see his living space. His contents of his wardrobe were strewn across his floor; his front door was hanging off his hinges and there seemed to be a tattoo on his shoulder, it was a scroll which read "Lea",
"Who the hell is Lea?" he pondered loudly before slapping one hand to his head upon realising how much it hurt, the figure on his floor then stirred and made an lousy attempt at speech although what came out sounded like a dying animal, he kept making this sound until he gurgled,

"But I only had ramen in a cup I don't see why we should have to split the bill evenly" the identity of his guest then hit Lee like a slippery fish, Naruto was on his floor dreaming of ramen with probably just as much of a hangover as him,

"What the fuck was I doing last night?" Lee asked himself as he went over to his fridge and helped himself to milk, he finished drinking and sat back down on his bed with his head in his hands he then thought he spied something under his bedclothes he reached out and got hold of it, it felt like a cylinder, he pulled it from under his bedclothes just as Naruto woke up and stared at Lee,

"Dude…what the fuck hap…OW MY HEAD!" he clapped his hand to his head and groaned, Lee then spoke again,

"We're in a village…miles from anywhere…in a forest… could you please tell me…where the fuck I got this traffic cone" Lee pulled out what was under his sheet,

"Hey man it ain't a good night unless you bring a traffic cone home" Naruto then pulled out two objects from under his bedclothes, "it's the pink wig and Sakura's skirt and underclothes don't understand".

At this point they froze and stared at Naruto's findings in horror, there was then a terrific shriek from the bathroom, the two friends looked at the bathroom door, then at each other, then to their clothes on the floor and finally to the front door, bathroom door, each other, clothes on the floor, front door,

"WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?" the voice shrieked again, the boys heard the bathroom door open, snatched up their clothes and belted through the door, donned their mismatched garments, down to the street and off down the down.

Panting, the two hung over ninjas came to a halt in an alley; barely able to talk from lack of breath they waited for their lungs to refill before speaking,

"Ok first things first, what did we do last night to end up with massive hangovers, a traffic cone, a tattoo which reads "Lea", Sakura's skirt and underclothes and to cap it all Sakura herself in my bath?" Lee was all over the place by now, his hair was out of place and his eyes were dreadfully bloodshot,

"How would I know man, I remember as much you do believe it" Naruto didn't exact look glamorous himself, his face was grey and drained of all colour, he had a black eye and a fat lip,

"Then we have to find out what happened, bad things tend to have happened the night before I wake up with a tattoo and a hangover" now Lee was getting hysterical and jumpy,

"Well first off you can give me back my outfit orange doesn't suit you and this blue flowery leotard…wait since when was your leotard blue with flowers on it?" Lee's leotard had always been green,

"That's not me leotard whiskers I wear green" Naruto shot back with a look that said "Well done Einstein" and "Don't call me whiskers" they then quickly switched outfits and continued talking,

"This leotard is too big for me…but on the plus side it really hides my thighs" Lee said whilst admiring himself in a puddle (again), Naruto rolled his eyes whilst listening to his strange companion,

"Look what's the last thing you remember about last night?" asked Naruto gripping Lee by the shoulders,

"Well I remember a short meal with Tenten after my session with Gai sensei but after that it's all a blur" Lee tried to remember more but this made his head hurt more so then it did before,

"Right let's start by going to the restaurant where you had this meal and retrace your footsteps" Naruto started to walk staggering slightly but walking all the same,

"I should get you drunk more often" Lee said to himself "Your not usually this smart" Lee stopped talking to himself and followed suite.