Funny Bleach Episode 30: A New Beginning
A brand new day and a brand new beginning at the Soul Society. And the best of all, for some reason the birds are back. (I guess Soifon`s been too busy with Chad these days that she forgot to shoot the birds. Lmao.)
*Yammamoto`s voice* Attencion all Soul Reapers. We have a meeting right now so get over here.
*Rukia is laying on the couch* Some things never change. Ugh, i hate meetings.
*Rangiku* Rukia, lets go.
*Rukia* Rangiku, what`s the rush?
*Rangiku* Do you remember the last time we were late?
*Rukia* Uh...no.
*Rangiku* Nevermind. Lets just go.
*At Meeting*
*Yammamoto* Welcome back everyone. After that showdown with the Espadas last week, i figured i should give you guys a little break.
*Yoruichi* Oh my god. Are you serious? *Starts smiling*
*Yamma* Of course not. Haha.
*Renji* You really need to stop doing that, dude.
*Ichigo* Yeah. It`s like telling your 6 year old son you`ll take him to Disney Land and then you tell him it was a joke. Seriously man, cut that out. Or someday you`ll be punished.
*Yamma* Aha! You said it yourself. SOMEday. Haha. *His pants mysteriously fall off*
*Soifon* LMAO. God works in mysterious ways.
*Chad* You`re starting to get punished. Lol.
*Yamma* Very funny. I`m not getting punished.
*Rukia and Rangiku run in and both step on his toes*
*Yamma* YOUCH! Watch where you`re going!
*Byakuya* Another one of his works. Hehe.
*Renji* Hey Rukia, i saved you a seat.
*Rukia* Oh, you`re such a doll.
*Rangiku sits next to Hitsugaya* Hi handsome.
*Hitsugaya* Hi Rangiku. What have you been up to?
*Rangiku* Same things. Being a pain in Yamma`s.
*Yamma* Matsumoto! Stop talking or i`m gonna have to make you sit in the corner.
*Rangiku* Ass.
*Yamma* I mean it.
*Rukia* This meeting better be worth getting off the couch running all the way over here.
*Yamma sees Soifon and Chad making out* Stop it, you two.
*Soifon* Wow. You really know how to ruin a moment, don`t you.
*Yamma* I have an announcement to make.
*Rangiku* I`m all ears.
*Byakuya* So, what is it?
*Yoruichi* Can you please stop interrupting the man? Geez. Continue.
*Yamma* Nemu is coming back.
*Ichigo* Nemu? Oh my god. That`s great news. *Stands up and smiles*
*Rukia* She`s not in to you so cut the crap and sit down, Ichigo.
*Ichigo* She`s just playing hard to get. She wants me. *Sits down and crosses arms*
*Byakuya* I have to agree with Rukia on this.
*Ichigo* Oh, we`ll just see.
*Yamma* As i was saying, she`s coming back. So be nice.
*Hitsugaya* What are you talking about, we`re always nice.
*Yoruichi* Is that all you wanted to say, Yamma?
*Yamma* Uh....oh yes, now i remember. To those of you who don`t know, i`m officially a Yaoi lover.
*Soifon* Good for you.
*Rangiku* Welcome to the club.
*Rukia* Anything else?
*Yamma* No, not really. Meeting`s over, now be gone.
*Later that day*
*Nemu walks in* Hello everybody. I`m back.
*Ichigo* Nemu`s here. YAY. *Runs towards her with open arms*
*Nemu trips him* Nice to see you again.
*Rukia* Welcome back, Nemu.
*Nemu* Hi you guys. It`s been a while. What have you girls been up to?
*Rukia* Yaoi.
*Rangiku* Yaoi and evilness.
*Yoruichi* Yaoi.
*Soifon* Yaoi.
*Ichigo* Pervertedness.
*Renji* Getting Rukia`s attencion. Lol.
*Rangiku* Excuse me, but i believe she said girls not boys or guys or whatever you are.
*Nemu* She`s right. But i see i didn`t miss anything then. Where is that annoying stuffed animal?
*Rukia looks around* He`s...somewhere.. Kommy? Kommy where are you?
*Kommamura appears out of nowhere* Did my dear sweet darling Rukia call me?
*Renji* Hey she`s my Rukia now. So buzz off.
*Nemu* Kommy it`s been a long time, hasn`t it.
*Kommy* Not really. So...you still single?
*Nemu* That`s none of your business. I can get a man if i want to.
*Kommy* Not with that attitude. *Laughs*
*Rangiku* Oh, he is sooo gonna get it now.
*Nemu* Argh! You little son of a-
*Yoruichi* Okay, i think that`s good for now. Kommy you can go now.
*Kommy* Why.
*Renji* Because you`re gonna start another fight.
*Kommy* Haha. You are such a doofus.
*Rukia* You keep this up and i`ll kick you to the moon again. Remember the baseball bat? *Smiles*
*Rangiku* Poeple people, we don`t want to start another fight now.
*Nemu* Yeah, we don`t. Lets just drop it.
*Ichigo* Good idea. So....what now?
*Kommy* I got an idea. Lets go find a perfect body for me.
*Everyone* NO!
*Kommy* Geez. Poeple get more mean everyday.
*Chad* I`m gonna go make some popcorns. Later.
*Soifon* Later, sexy thing.
*Yamma walks by* Hi guys...oh crap. I forgot what i was going to do.
*Ichigo* That`s because you`re too old.
*Renji* Dude, i hope for your sake he didn`t hear that.
*Yamma* Excuse me? What was that?
*Ichigo* Uh...nothing?
*Yamma* Good. And you`re gonna continue to say nothing untill i tell you that you can say something! Is that clear!
*Ichigo* Crystal clear. *Smiles*
*Nemu* Stop smiling.
*Rangiku* I`m soo bored. I`m gonna go visit Hitsugaya. *Gigles*
*Kommy* Damn, woman. Are you always horny?
*Rangiku* Only when i`m bored. See ya. Runs out*
*Rukia* In that case, she`s always horny then. Lol.
*Nemu lays on the couch* I`m bored. Someone unbore me please.
*Ichigo* Just when all hope is lost, Ichigo saves the day. I`ll unbore you in no time. Hehe.
*Nemu* I`m not having sex with you.
*Ichigo* Damn.
*Nemu* Besides. That`s not the only thing in this world that unbores people, right girls?
*Yoruichi* Uh....i uh... Rukia what do you think?
*Rukia* You`re asking me? It`s like you don`t know me at all. I don`t know, Nemu. It`s a tough question. Renji, what do you think?
*Renji* I`m a guy. Sex is like a huge hobby of mine. Wich means, my anwser won`t count cuz you know that`s what i do wether i`m bored or not. So ask someone else. Lol.
*Nemu* Soifon, how about you?
*Soifon* Me? I don`t know either. Ask Kisuke.
*Kisuke* Why do i always get brought up in these situations? I also say the same as Renji. And if you ask Rangiku, she`ll propably say that`s the only thing in this world that can unbore us cuz she does it all the time. So that leaves Kommy.
*Kommy* Crap. This really sucks cuz i`m a stuffed animal. So that`s like impossible for me to do even if i`m not bored. But if i can get a human body of my own, i guess i can give you the anwser. But for now...i can`t.
*Rukia* Aww you poor thing. Does that mean you`re still a virgin? *Renji tries not to laugh*
*Kommy* Yes...for now. Damnit.
*Nemu* Aww don`t worry. I`m sure you`ll lose it soon. *Tries not to laugh*
*Kommy* You wanna try it with me?
*Nemu* You`ve gotta be kidding me. Can you imagen me having sex with a small stuffed animal? I would squash you like a bug. Lmao.
*Everyone`s laughing*
*Kommy* What`s so funny? That`s not funny.
*Yoruichi* You`re right, it`s not funny. It`s hilarious. Lmao.
*Rukia* And the next morning we find out Kommy`s been killed in a rock slide.
*Nemu* Don`t push it.
*Rukia* Sorry. Lmao.
*Kommy* Stop laughing. S-s-stop.
*Ichigo* Oh come on. You gotta admit that`s funny, right?
*Kommy* No it`s not.
*They are still laughing at him*
The End