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A/N: First story in the Threads of Time series. Occurs during Born to Love (from The History of Nine).
Memories of the Wolf
By Eugena
Rated: T
Bad Wolf and two regenerations.
Occurs after Doctor Who: The Movie, spoilers for the Ninth Doctor series.
The Doctor settled down to read. He decided to study the works of Puccini as he tried to push Grace out of his mind. He would miss her. Time held so many threads for her, and for anyone, that no future was that certain. He felt his eyes close, the beginning of a much-needed sleep after his regeneration.
It had been a difficult one, and he almost didn't make it.
"You almost didn't make it at all," a woman said.
He looked up, nearly blinded by the figure surrounded in gold light ahead of him.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"Someone you have yet to meet, but have always known. I will never leave you. Not as long as I can."
"You were there," he said, in awe of the woman before him. "When I regenerated, you were there."
He could just make out the figure's smile.
"I'll be there again, I promise."
The Doctor stood, trying to see what the woman looked like, but she faded.
oOo
Rose Tyler felt the Time Vortex slowly drain from her. She felt The Doctor's lips on hers, professing the love of his sacrifice.
She was suddenly in his mind again, his current mind this time.
"Have you always been half human?"
"Only in that incarnation. Seven had it on his mind when he died."
She drew The Doctor closer to herself, embracing him for all the times she knew she never would again.
"You're going to do it again, aren't you?"
oOo
The silence in his mind was unbearable. No more of his kind filled his mind. Only his past lives remained. He leaned over Charley's body, tears falling onto her lifeless body. He looked at the monitor. He wondered if he was going to survive.
Secretly, he hoped he wouldn't. After all, he didn't deserve to.
The TARDIS filled with the heat of the atmosphere. Its damaged walls could no longer keep the fire out. The Time Lords, like the Daleks erased from history.
At least Charley's death was quick, painless.
He curled into a ball, trying to remember his childhood. He remembered his mother, his father. He remembered Susan. He tried to remember Susan's parents or her grandmother.
As the burning heat surrounded him, a golden light blinded him.
"You're here," he whispered.
"I promised. Now you must always promise me to never give up. Keep looking for me, Doctor, even when I am gone."
"I promise," he said. He felt the light surround him, his eyes closed. Her song filled his mind as he drew his last breath in his current body.
oOo
"You changed the universe for me," the next Doctor marveled.
"I couldn't be without you. I create myself, and I did it for you."
"I love you."
"I love you, too. I'm going to miss you, my Doctor. Our children won't be born. We'll have to start all over again. I won't remember this. You'll betray me. I'll wish this you was still around. You'll see me die in more ways than one."
"You are the Bad Wolf, Rose. Always have been, always will be. Somewhere, time will stop for us. You'll remember this moment, and I will come back. I promise. I will never stop loving you."
Rose Tyler fell limp into his arms. He laid her down gently. He held the Vortex in just a second too long. It was the only way he could promise to come back to her in this body. Soon, part of him would be outside of time. He could always protect Rose, even when his tenth self could not.
Not long ago, when he was in his Eighth body, he remembered being told he had more than one Ninth incarnation. He realized when he regenerated for the eighth time, he chose this form, all for the golden woman, the Bad Wolf, who gave him the power to regenerate the seventh time. He should have been dead then, but her love for him made him live again.
As he released the Time Vortex, he smiled. Every moment of his Ninth life had been worth it, all to meet Rose and set in motion the paradox of the Bad Wolf.
He would soon make several recordings for his Tenth self, but for now, he had a few more precious moment for his Rose. Rose, who should have been the mother of his children, the grandmother of Susan. All cut short by the Daleks. Maybe Ten would redeem himself. He had no doubt Ten would love her. The Doctor loved her even before he regenerated, he just hadn't met her yet. Now, Ten had to hold onto her.