Psychosomatic
Illicit Memory
I have no name, I have no purpose.
I am nothing but a vessel, a container for the darkness inside of me.
Most people are afraid of me, with good reason… I'm dangerous.
I don't even know who I am, or where I'm from.
All I know is I'm being hunted… And I'm not going to die.
-
It was the same dream I had been having for three years. I sat at the gates of a village, staring down at the kunai I was spinning idly around my finger. Try as I might, I could not look up – I didn't know what was around me. The only time my head moved was when I heard myself addressed, but I could not hear my name, though the stranger said it. I gazed up into a pair of onyx eyes and smiled.
I said his name, though I didn't hear myself – I didn't know him.
He held a hand out to me, but I ignored it, standing on my own and facing him. At this, his lips moved almost imperceptibly, causing him to slightly smile.
The dream always ended as I moved closer to him.
I woke up then, narrowing my eyes and cursing. I didn't know where I was, who I was supposed to be, or who he was. All I knew was that it wasn't a dream – it was a memory. A memory of the time before I became what I am today.
I was a missing-nin, that much I could tell. I had no headband, but my instincts had saved me multiple times in the past. Also, the fact that I wore kunoichi attire and had beautifully crafted weapons hinted at a past more comfortable than my present.
Idly, I twisted a free chunk of my hair, a seafoam color streaked with black, around my finger. It fell nearly to my waist, but was currently held back in a tight braid with a small kunai tied at the end. Two portions over my forehead were free to frame my face.
With a sigh, I twisted and fell from my tree-limb bed, and landed in a crouch on the forest floor. My clothing – tight black shorts with a pale blue tank top, and a short-sleeved black jacket that fell nearly to my ankles – allowed for a full range of movement.
I was near Konohagakure – the Village Hidden In The Leaves. The ANBU had already noted my presence, and I could feel eyes watching me as I walked along the path towards the Hidden Village. My eyes narrowed as one was audacious enough to appear on the path before me.
"What is your name?" His voice sounded almost familiar – it was light, but sort of rumbly – it reminded me of a fox.
"None of your business." I walked around him, never stopping.
Another appeared before me. "Stop. The Hokage herself has requested that we get all names before allowing any unknown visitors to enter Konoha. It is an extra precaution, due to the recent uprising of the Akatsuki." This voice was female – high pitched. She sounded like a know-it-all.
"I wouldn't look good in clouds." I walked around her as well.
Of course, a third presence blocked my path. "We merely wish to hear a name." His voice was deep, smooth.
"I don't have a name – I am called the Kurokage. Is that what you 'merely wished to hear'?" I made a move to go around him, and he reached out to grab me.
I ducked and spun, creating five doppelgangers as I moved. Three of them went after the first two – two on the original ANBU, the male, and one on the female. One ran ahead on the path – attempting to look like I was making a break for Konoha: hopefully, it would mislead the rest of the ANBU squad. The last one and myself lunged for the most recent to appear – my doppelganger disappearing instantly as he stuck a katana through it, and myself barely avoiding skewering as he swung down and forward with the same movement.
I flipped backwards, feeling the chakra of another being well up within me. I made three signs: Monkey, Horse, Tiger. "Doragon Dansu no Jutsu!" (Dragon Dance Jutsu).
Chakra flowed out of me, taking on the form of a black dragon – roughly the size of a couch. There were three weak spots: the front base of the neck, two eyes, and the base of the wings.
My doppelgangers were history, because the other two joined the one I was working on. The girl inhaled sharply, sharing a look with the first male – who nodded.
"Try to cut off the neck – there are two weak spots at the base!" I heard the first guy called to the second. A nod was given, and before I could react – the katana flashed and pierced my dragon's throat, causing it to implode.
"…" The three of them gazed expectantly at me.
"You know – her dragon was never black." The first male tugged down his hood to reveal a mass of long blonde hair. (Think the Fourth.)
"Or quite so big." The girl replied.
"What?" I backed away from them – a sudden fear gripping me. I jumped into the air – landing on and kicking off of a tree branch above me, taking off through the canopy. Moments later, I impacted with something solid and covered with cloth, and when I landed on the floor with both my wrists possessed by someone, I looked up into a pair of crimson eyes swirling with black tomoe.
He smirked almost imperceptibly... "And you used to be the fastest of us."
I blacked out.
-
-
When I came to – I heard voices above me. Hoping they wouldn't notice my consciousness – I laid there: listening to their conversation.
The girl was the first to speak. "Apparently, she has no memory. Tsunade says it may be a result of the seal – it's sealing her memories as well as sealing that elemental inside of her."
Tsunade – I had heard that name before… She was the Hokage – wasn't she?
"But what kind of seal is it? It's nothing like mine – it has weird markings." The blonde was the one talking now.
"… Sasuke said he had seen it before in a book he found in his clan's library. So it's probably something Itachi has done." She sighed.
Sasuke… Was that the third one?
"So… Akatsuki?"
"Probably."
I heard the door open. "How is she?" An older female voice.
"She's still unconscious, Hokage-sensei." The girl was talking to her.
"I thought Sasuke said…?"
"He thought she would have known about the Sharingan at least a bit – she might have been prepared. She used to be so well at guarding against it… But apparently, she forgot."
"He's been in her mind though, right? Does he know who did this to her?" I felt a pressure on my wrist, checking my pulse.
"He said the seal is on her memories as well. It's the work of his brother – he's sure of it."
"Hmmm… We need to find a way to open her memories, but not the elemental." Tsunade sighed. "I was researching the demon within her – it's Kamikage, the Dragon. No doubt Itachi chose that bijuu because of her affinity for them."
"The eight-tails? But – but Pein, he wouldn't have let such a powerful bijuu go to waste like that! She's not one of them, is she?"
"No, Sakura – she has no ring, and as far as I can tell, she's not evil. Otherwise she would have tried to kill you immediately. But we need to get her memories back…"
At that point, I opened my eyes. Big mistake – the room was all white and brightly lit, my pupils must have turned to pinpoints before I could close them. When I figured I must have readjusted, I reopened them, to see the Hokage and Sakura staring down at me – the blonde young man was sitting across the room, silent.
I sat up. "Where am I?"
"You are in the Medical Wing of the Hokage Tower." Sakura was the one to speak.
"Why?" I wasn't a Konoha shinobi. Nor was I a political guest.
"Because you're a-" the blonde across the room started, but was interrupted by Sakura.
"Naruto!" She scolded. Then she turned to me. "You're a respected guest."
"…Then may I leave?" I knew what the answer would be, but the force behind it would tell me whether I was a guest or a prisoner.
"We would prefer it if you did not. You may venture outside of this building, yes – we have arranged a home for you to keep. But for the time being, we wish it that you stay with us." The Hokage imformed me of this in a polite manner.
"You might not want that." I let her know.
"Why not?" now she seemed interested.
"Well, for starters – you're right, I'm a jinchuuriki." They seemed stunned that I had heard their conversation. "And because of that… I am being hunted." By Akatsuki…
"Join the club." Across the room, Naruto stood and traveled to me. "So am I." He held out a hand, and I reached to touch it. I had done this with Gaara, two and a half years prior, so I knew what the effect would be – our bijuu could speak through us. But this time…
-
"Rei!" Naruto ran at me, tackling me to the ground to shield me from a falling part of the building next to me. "It's Oto! They're attacking!" He rolled to his feet and grabbed my hand, leading me to the Uchiha Compound.
"Sasuke, Sakura!" I called out, seeing my two friends fending off the attacks from Otonin.
Monkey, Horse, Tiger. "Doragon Dansu No Jutsu!" A dragon – roughly the size of a large dog and green in color came from me. Yellow flame (my dragon's fire now was white) sprang from its small mouth, aiding Sasuke in setting the enemy on fire.
Next to me, Kyuubi's chakra welled up in Naruto, and the Otonin were gone.
-
I nearly screamed, but managed to pull back my handing at a blinding speed. I stared at Naruto, knowing I must have looked like a small child afraid of the monster in her closet. "You…"
"What happened?" Tsunade looked from Naruto to me. Suddenly I noticed that Naruto was pale – had he shared the vision too?
"I – I saw…" Was that a memory, or was in something I made up?
"…Kyuubi can get around the seal. He said… He said that it can only come a little at a time – small pieces… Very small. It may take years… Because the memory seal is self-inflicted. She may have had help, but… the base of it was done on her own."
"She sealed her own memories?" Sakura stared wide-eyed at Tsunade.
"… So… I was there when Oto attacked?" I looked down at the bed cover.
"You remember?" Naruto stared at me. But he knew. I knew he knew – because it was his stupid fox that planted that little seed of information in my head… Which only caused me to wonder whether or not it was true – or whether it was just something he wanted me to believe.
"…I think so." I made sure he heard the distrust in my voice. Then I felt a little guilty as he became slightly downtrodden.
Sakura glanced between Naruto and myself – curious of something, I'm sure.
"Naruto, Sakura – you should go home and rest. I will attend to Rei and make sure someone brings her to her home."
"Alright, Hokage-sama." The two of them spoke in unison, and bowed – leaving the room. Before the door closed behind them, I saw them join hands.
"They're together?" I still looked at the door, but spoke to Tsunade.
"Yes."
"…Took them long enough." I surprised myself with that statement – I don't know why I said it. I hadn't had a thought about it.
"How much do you remember?" Tsunade sat across the room, folding her arms in her lap and looking at me.
"… I remember the attack by Oto… And Naruto wiping out the ninja near Sasuke's home…" I dug deeper, trying hard to remember things – it just felt like something I had to do, even though I didn't know her. "I don't know… I don't remember. I think… I think I remember something about… Orichimaru and Sasuke…"
"Do you remember anything of your genin team?"
"My team? I'm from... Konoha?" I couldn't have been. They don't just let people go missing…
"Yes. You were a genin, raised here… You don't remember?"
"No. But, why didn't anyone…"
"Look for you? They did. Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke were looking for you … They looked everywhere. Sakura and Naruto came back after a month, Sasuke after two." Tsunade sighed again.
"Why were they the ones looking for me?" I leaned back against the headboard of the bed.
"They were your team – Team Seven."
"But I thought genin teams were only three people?"
"You were a special case… Like Naruto, you're an orphan of the nine-tails tragedy. But your parents lived on the outskirts of the village – right outside of the walls. You were raised by Kakashi – who said that he would take you as an extra in his genin team."
"… Oh." No family – big shock there. But… "Kakashi… as in the Copycat Ninja?"
"Yes." She nodded. "I have to go. If there is anything you need, you may ask for it at any time. I'll send someone to show you where your house is."
"Thank you, Hokage-sama."
"You're welcome." She turned and left the room.
I crossed my legs as I pulled the blanket off of me. I rested my elbows on my knees, and stared blankly at the bedsheets – my mind reeling. I had been coming to Konoha to look for any kind of mission they would give a mercenary – Suna had given me plenty. But to find out that I was from one of the most respected Hidden Villages… I didn't believe it. I couldn't. I had spent too long – too long fending for myself to think that this was happening.
The door to my room opened, and I glanced up to see Sasuke. His face was blank, as usual, though I couldn't help but feel like that wasn't normal for him. "Are you ready?"
"…Yeah." I turned to the right and slid off of the bed, walking to him. He turned and began to walk down the hallway, and I followed silently, almost wanting to ask him questions but afraid of the answers.
-
Five minutes later, we stood at the gates of the Uchiha compound.
"I… live in here?" I didn't remember that part. I sort of wished I did.
"It would be best if you were near a teammate. Naruto and Sakura share an apartment – but no buildings are available near them."
"A team…" The word sounded foreign in my mouth.
The gates swung open before us, and Sasuke entered – I followed. He led me to a large mansion… and unlocked the door, handing me the key. "All of your things from your old house are in there. We needed somewhere to keep them after you… while you were gone."
"Thank you." I attempted to smile, but was afraid it looked as fake as it felt. I was too confused by my current situation to be properly grateful.
"…" He nodded, turning and leaving.
"Wait, Sasuke…" I called out suddenly – there was a question I had to ask him.
He stopped, but didn't turn back to face me – something I was grateful for. I didn't want to know what his face would look like. Happiness might mean he thought I remembered more than I did (though judging by the lack of conversation on the way here, I doubted that would happen), sadness might mean I wasn't remembering enough (I doubted that, too), and anger would only mean that I was being obscenely stupid for asking – that was what I expected. I knew he meant something to me somewhere along the line, you see – in the memory of the attack, I had felt more fear for his safety, not the others'. I may have cared from him, but I doubted it was mutual. After all, he was the only one who wasn't there when I woke up.
"We…Were we friends before I left?"
He paused for a moment. "…I don't know." His voice was flat – almost bitter.
"…Oh…" Suddenly feeling the pressing and uncommon urge to escape – I entered my temporary home and shut the door. Moving quickly to a window, I watched him continue down the street – passing a house and entering the next one, and even larger and more luxurious home than the one I was in. With a sigh – I turned and surveyed my new living establishment. The front room was large, and there was a small hallway leading to stairs. To my right was a dining area – and a large kitchen joined that, set off by a peninsular counter.
I kicked my shoes off and walked towards the hallway, ascending the staircase. The second floor boasted another large living area, and two separate hallways – one leading to a large, wraparound balcony, and the other leading to a series of rooms, about six in total.
I walked towards the first door and pushed it open, inhaling sharply at the inside. The walls were a pale green, with a skeletal dragon painted upon them in brown. The floors were sand-colored wood, and the ceiling a pale blue with white cloud outlines. Someone had loved this room – as much as I suddenly did. In the corner there was a large bed – the blankets were forest-green in color, with black sheets. There were twin oak sliders that led to a substantial closest full of clothing.
A search of the remainder of the hall revealed that each room was the same – though colorless and empty. The first room was by far the largest though.
-
"Why are all of the rooms so big, Sasuke?"
"The Uchiha were rich… and most of us were damn proud of it."
I snorted. "Really – I couldn't tell." I punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Kidding."
"Now, now, just because you're jealous…"
"You wish!"
-
I shook my head, ridding myself of the images springing unbidden to my mind.
After all, Naruto had said that I sealed away all of my own memories. I had to have done it for a reason.
But… I was beginning to wonder why.