Crawling back to you
Tom watched as B'Elanna stormed out of the captain's quarters. She was mad and a little more than upset.
"Hey B'Elanna wait up."
"She is so god damn stubborn!"
"Hey wow chill B'Ella. Let's go down to the mess hall and we can talk alright?"
He placed his hands on her shoulders and guided her to the turbolift.
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Kathryn watched as B'Elanna walked out of her quarters. Kathryn was beside herself she threw her glass against the wall beside the bay window. She collapsed onto her couch covering her face with her hands. She whipped her tears away and looked at the champagne. She decided to drink the pain away tonight and deal with her broken heart tomorrow. She took the bottle and drank the rest of the contents. She wasn't sure why she pushed B'Elanna away she did. She loved her more than she ever loved anyone and she didn't know what to do to make this right.
Finishing the champagne she decided to raid her stash of real alcohol. She grabbed a bottle of Terresian ale, knowing it would get her good and drunk. She had to fix this or she would die inside permanently. She needed to show her she loved her more than anything. She walked over to her work station and browsed through a file labeled Heart ache. She played a melancholy tune and let the tears flow freely this time. But an idea was forming as the music played.
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Sitting in the mess hall Tom listened to B'Elanna going on about the argument she and the Captain had. By the time B'Elanna finished her story the whole mess hall knew she and the Captain were fighting. Tom knew B'Elanna loved the Captain or she wouldn't be this upset about something so minor. He wasn't belittling the argument but the issue didn't seem worth fighting over.
"Well B'Elanna I'm not sure what to say about this I mean you guys are have a huge fight over you taking a single gamma shift?"
"It's not just the shift change Tom. You aren't there. She doesn't talk to me. Any time I get close to her opening up to me she pushes me away. It's like one step forward and three steps back."
"B'Ella did you ever thing that she may be scared to open up to you?"
B'Elanna looked up at him confusion on her face.
"Why would she be scared? I never gave a reason to be."
Tom smiled and took her hand.
"B'Elanna I have known her longer than anyone on this ship. Our fathers were very good friends, and contrary to popular belief her past wasn't at all the perfect life."
She was speechless. She had no idea about Kathryn's past.
"B'Ella she has been through a lot and she doesn't like talking about certain moments in her life and she may never tell you because she is afraid you may leave her like everyone she has ever loved, and I know she loves you."
B'Elanna pulled her hand away and stood up.
"Thank you Tom. I'm gonna go to sleep now."
"Ok. Will I see you at Talent Night tomorrow?"
She nodded and waved him off.
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The next morning Kathryn sat at the senior staff meeting listening to everyone's reports and trying to focus on them and not in the pain in her chest every time she looked at B'Elanna. B'Elanna looked up at her and gave her a sad smile. This gave Kathryn some hope for them.
Maybe I can fix this.
After dismissing the meeting she watched them all leave, B'Elanna straggled behind. She looked over at her as if she wanted to talk to her. Kathryn's heart stopped hoping she would but she didn't she closed her mouth and followed the rest of the senior officers out. Kathryn had to fight back the tears at least till she got to her ready room. She walked across the bridge toward her office.
"Commander you have the bridge."
Without letting him answer she walked into her office.
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B'Elanna strode down into engineering got her reports and went to her office. She sat at her desk and tried to focus on what she was reading.
Why didn't you talk to her? You fucking coward you now know why she does it all you had to do was forgive her and be there for her but no, no you are being stubborn.
B'Elanna shook herself out of her thoughts and forced herself to concentrate on her work.
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Kathryn sat at her desk reading the lyrics to the song she listened to last night. Her door-chime rang announcing someone outside her door.
"Come in."
Neelix bounced into her ready room broad smile plastered on his face.
"You wanted to see me Captain?"
"I wanted to talk to you about tonight."
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Later that night Talent Night is in full swing. The Delany sisters put on their usual dance routine getting cat calls and whistles from many of the men. Next Ensigns Nicolette and Kim and a few other crewmen put on an instrumental medley. There were jokes told and impressions made and magic tricks done much to the delight of Naomi Wildman. The last few acts went on as Kathryn paced around the side of the stage. She hoped things went the way she planed as she watched Neelix take his place behind the microphone.
"Lieutenant Torres please come to the stage."
Kathryn watched B'Elanna reluctantly walk up to the stage and follow Neelix to a chair set up at the far end from where Kathryn was. Neelix smiled reassuringly at Kathryn as he walked off the stage. As the house lights go down four men varying in age and look appear on stage. An acoustic guitar and a violin start playing as Kathryn walked onto stage and the spot light hits her. Wearing a pair of well worn jeans and a loose novelty t-shirt she looked more human than like the statue of command the crew was used to. She had a long chain going from her hip to her back pocket and showing her tomboyish style.
"Everybody knows that I was such a fool to ever let go of you but baby I was wrong and yeah I know I said we'd be better off alone it was time that we moved on I know I broke your heart I didn't mean to break your heart but baby her I am."
The four holograms joined her.
"Bangin' on your front door my pride spilled on the floor my hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to you beggin' for a second chance are you gonna let me in I was runnin' from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you."
B'Elanna sat in her seat awestruck at the audacity of this woman. She was publicly apologizing. Not just a speech like she would expect from the Captain, no she was singing to her. She listened as the tall blond started with his part but she noticed Kathryn's eyes never left hers.
"I know you're in there and you can make me wait but I'm not gonna wait it's the least that I can do just to tell you face to face that I was lying to myself now I'm dying in this hell (Kathryn joins) girl I know you're mad I can't blame you for being mad. (Hologram alone) But baby here I am"
(Group) "Bangin' on your front door my pride spilled on the floor my hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to you beggin' for a second chance are you gonna let me in I was runnin' from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you."
Kathryn collapsed to her knees infront of B'Elanna.
(Group) "If you could see these tears I'm cryin' touch these hands that can't stop shaken hear my heart that's barley beatin'."
Kathryn but her head down on B'Elanna's knees as the tall blond and a shorter man with tattoos and red tipped brown hair continued the song.
(Blond) "You will see a different man."
(Brunette) "But baby here I am, bangin' on your front door my pride spilled on the floor my hands and knees are bruised,"
Kathryn looked up into B'Elanna's eyes not bothering to hide her tears.
(Group) "And I'm crawling back to you. Bangin' on your front door my pride spilled on the floor my hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to you beggin' for a second chance are you gonna let me in I was runnin' from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you."
(Brunette) "Yeah now I'm crawling back to you."
(Blond) "Crawling back to you."
Kathryn looked down at the floor when B'Elanna's gaze didn't change. She stood and turned and started walking away.
(Kathryn) "Crawling back to you."
The crew stood and clapped and cheered but the one person's reaction that mattered to Kathryn didn't react at all. She looked back at her one last time and then walked off the stage. Kathryn couldn't take the rejection she ran toward the exit of the holodeck not caring who saw her cry. Tom jumped up on the stage and shook B'Elanna.
"B'Ella go after her."
"Tom I don't know. . ."
"She just poured her heart out to you in a way no man would ever think too. 'Lanna she loves you more than anything."
B'Elanna looked at the door and back at Tom. She stood from her seat and ran after her lover. She caught her at the turbolift.
"Kathryn wait please."
Kathryn heard the younger woman and she collapsed to her knees sobbing. B'Elanna called the lift and wrapped her arms around the red head.
"It's ok my love I forgive you. Please stop crying. You're gonna make me cry."
Kathryn clung to B'Elanna like a life line.
"Don't leave me 'Lanna please. I will die without you."
B'Elanna pulled her to her feet and into the lift.
"Deck two."
She called out and held Kathryn to her.
"Baby I'm not going anywhere. Sweetie you need to open up to me."
"Darling I will tell you everything just please don't leave me alone anymore."
B'Elanna walked Kathryn back to her quarters. Thankful everyone was busy elsewhere. Once inside B'Elanna helped Kathryn to the couch and walked over to the replicator and ordered water.
"Here baby drink this."
Kathryn took a mouthful of water and put the glass down on the table.
"Sweetie talk to me."
"I don't know what you want me to tell you B'Ella."
"How about what I tried to talk to you about last night. Tell me about your first girlfriend."
"Why do you wanna know about her so bad?"
"Because I wanna know what she did to you to make you not trust me."
Kathryn turned to her shocked and somewhat embarrassed.
"What do you wanna know about her?"
B'Elanna sat next to her and held her hand.
"I wanna know what she did."
Kathryn took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"Ok. I was with Devon for three years. She and I got really close and we moved in together. One night I came home and she was sitting on the couch crying. I asked her what was wrong and she looked me right in the eye and told me she cheated on me."
B'Elanna sat and listened to her lover wondering how bad this story was going to be.
"I freaked out I started yelling and I stormed out of the apartment so I didn't totally lose it. I walked around San Francisco for a few hours and then I went home and. . . ."
Kathryn's voice hiked and her chin started trembling. The tears fell from her eyes and B'Elanna pulled her to her. Unsure whether or not she wanted to hear the rest of the story she ran her fingers through the auburn locks and kissed the top of her head. When Kathryn calmed down she stayed laying her head on B'Elanna's lap and continued.
"When I got home I was going to tell her I forgive her and just move on with our life together but when I found her she was ha. . . hanging from the ceiling rafters my life shattered. I didn't let myself love anyone as much as I loved her until you. I started to feel for you as deeply as I did her and it scared me because I don't ever wanna feel that pain again. I am sorry I pushed you away B'Ella but can you understand."
B'Elanna shifted her seat and pulled Kathryn up and kissed her hard.
"Baby I love you. And I am so, so sorry you had to endure that kind of thing. Love I will never hurt you like that, never."
Kathryn smiled through her tears and hugged B'Elanna.
"I love you too B'Ella. Forgive me?"
"Always."
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A/N ok I know that I used a Backstreet boys song and its kinda cheese but the song was the inspiration for the story. R&R please. love to all my readers =D