The Jump
I had spent weeks thinking about Maura's perfect birthday gift. A giant surprise party? So not Maura. Maybe I should take her out to dinner? But, we do that all of the time. That wouldn't make her birthday special. I thought about her favorite story book from when she was a child or maybe I could take her to an off-broadway theatre production. We could take a trip to see Niagara Falls, even thought I know she's already seen it.
Weeks and weeks of pondering.
I wanted to make this birthday special. Even more special than all of the other one's where special was my goal. This birthday needed to be extra special because things have changed. It was slow at first, easily explained by my over active imagination. We had fallen into habits. Habits we had never done before. Small changes from our usuals but giant impacts. At least for me.
We had fallen asleep on Maura's couch numerous times. Whether it was take out boxes that littered her coffee table or case files, nothing was unusual about staying up far too late and falling asleep. What was different was the snuggling. Before, we would fall asleep on opposite ends of the couch. Our legs would be strategically placed like a puzzle in order to give the other room. Sometimes, when I woke up in the morning her leg would be pressed to my back or curled around my own leg. But, that wasn't common. What started to be common was Maura laying down the full length of the couch. One or both of us would be closing our eyes in attempt to wake back up and she would grab the blanket from the back of the couch. But, instead of laying on her end, she started laying on the edge of the couch. We had never talked about it but now she pulls me to lay down behind her between the couch and her back. The first few times, I laid there like a board. I would barely sleep for fear my muscles would ease and I would crush her in the middle of the night. At first, it was odd. Maura has a giant guest bed as well as her own bed. If she wanted to stretch out, why not just go to her bed? But, than it become normal. After the first few times, when I laid down, I didn't tense. I simply dropped my arm over her waist and nuzzled her neck. I feel like each time we are in this position, we add some kind of element. Three weeks ago I would never nuzzle her neck. But, a month ago I wouldn't of even made physical contact with her. A week ago? She started shifting back into me. Pressing the lengths of our bodies together. Last night? I slipped my hand under her shirt and rested it on her stomach.
But, the changes didn't stop there. Now, I leave for work 20 minutes early on mornings I don't wake up with Maura. Twenty minutes early so I can grab Maura coffee from her favorite place.
Last Tuesday instead of standing outside of the bathroom to ask her a question, I walked in. She was in her towel getting ready for work, leaning over her sink to apply her makeup. When I entered, I saw her lean back with a look of shock. I almost retraced my foot steps as fast as I could. I didn't know where the line was these days so I didn't know if I had overstepped. But, instead of feeling uncomfortable or becoming noticeably agitated, I saw direct her eyes downward and smile. It wasn't an ordinary smile either. She had quickly glanced down and caught both of her lips in between her teeth to stop it. But, I could see the corners of her mouth try to break free. Instantly going back to her makeup, her lips freed themselves and her smile radiated the whole bathroom.
These changes came over time and were adding up into the hundreds. Instead of grabbing lunch from the vending machine, Maura made it a point to get me lunch from somewhere with a little more nutritional content. Even if she had already brought her own.
Instead of leaning against her dresser to put on her second heel in the mornings, she took my shoulder.
My weekly pile of laundry found itself in a drawer in her bedroom instead of a pile in her laundry room.
And once late at night after a grueling work week and an even worse day, she called me baby. It was only once at the latest of nights and it was whispered- But I know I heard it. We were both laying in bed, trying to fall asleep. Confidant conversation became grunts and whispers as we both slowly feel asleep. I had wished her a soft good night and the sweetest of dreams.
And she told me good night.
"Good night, baby"
It set my heart into panic and my stomach into butterflies. I stayed up all night. Wide awake. Adrenaline pumping throughout my ears and body. Sweat pouring from my glands. She was tired, she didn't know what she was saying, right?
However, the next morning I knew that she knew what she had said. As usual, nothing was spoken about such a change. But, when I entered her office at 8 am the next morning and her eyes caught mine, I knew she knew. That smile I saw in the bathroom was back. And I recognized the emotion behind it this time, she was elated and bashful. She knew things were changing, too.
But, still neither of us stopped the changes.
So, I wanted her birthday to be no different.
I wasn't concerned about material gifts. I wanted her birthday to be an experience.
And it was.
Instead of renting a car to take us to a fancy dinner, we rode in a uber all day with some guy named Chad. Instead of showering her with pointless gifts, I signed us up for a Boston wide scavenger hunt.
And instead of sipping wine late at night, we day drank. All day. We had truly let go.
Chad weaved in and out of high rises and sky scrapers, trying to beat the other teams. We had pounded on the seats for him to go faster and hung our heads out the windows to yell at the other teams. We laughed until we cried and we laughed some more. I had never had so much fun as an adult.
And I don't think Maura had ever had that much fun. Ever.
After our 2nd place title win at the scavenger hunt and a large tip to Chad (who somehow probably had more fun than we did), we strolled hand in hand to the hotel. Swinging our hands back and forth wildly and singing our "scavenger hunt anthem" song Chad had picked out earlier that day, we were happy. We were fairly tipsy and starving. I had packed flasks of Maura's favorite beverages and we had been drinking them all day. When I presented Maura the flasks in the uber, she laughed so loud I swear it vibrated the car.
Now, at the end of our day, the flasks were empty.
After getting checked in and ordering room service, the night felt like it was dying down.
A pop of champagne reignited it not moments later, however.
Spilling a ton of champagne over the both of us, we fell to our knees hysterically laughing. All day had been spent letting go and laughing without limits. Maura's eyes were slightly swollen from the tears and I had never seen her so free and so happy.
It felt a lot like my birthday, too.
After the laughter calmed down a bit, we realized we were both soaked.
"I think it's time to change into some comfier and preferably, drier clothes." Instantly, I remember followed by an idea.
"Ah! I forgot to tell you, I bought us these extremely cheesy scavenger hunt shirts! We can wear those!" I exclaimed.
Finding the shirts that were tossed in a backpack, I threw on to Maura. "That way you'll always have a reminder of this super odd birthday."
Looking over at Maura reading the shirt, she looked up and made eye contact. "For one moment, I want to talk serious. I mean something serious, I mean.. jeez."
Chuckling to myself at Maura's boozy mind, she continues. "This has been the best day of my life, the best birthday and the absolute best memories. I will cherish this day, this shirt, and these memories for the rest of my life, Jane. Thank you so much for giving me a day of unlimited happiness and laughter."
Her eyes had begun watering again, this time I knew it was for a different reason.
And I figured, whats another change? So, instead of saying something sarcastic, I take her into my arms.
"You are so welcome, Maur. I am very glad you enjoyed yourself so much and truly let me guide you through this day. I loved it every bit as much as you did, I assure you." I can hear her sniffle under my ear where her head is buried in my shoulder. Rubbing up and down her back, I can sense she is calming a bit more. She tilts her head up moments later and her breath feels hot on my ear. "I'm going to go change and than I have one request, Detective."
Dropping my hands from her back, I feel her nuzzle my neck. Just like I do on her couch late at night. But, instead of following the same, usual path I do, she kisses me on my neck. Right under my ear and assures me she will be right back.
Fire as she walks away.
My body. My mind. My veins- they are all on fire.
Adrenaline. Again.
Pumping throughout my whole body, making my hair stand on end and my sweat to start to pour.
It's hot. Inferno.
I don't move. I just stand still. Right where she left me, standing. Looking out the insane view, to the city of Boston.
The city I grew up in. The city that I was passionate about.
The city where I found my passion.
Feelings Maura's hands circle my waist, I quickly see her head rest on my shoulder in the reflection of the windows. "Your turn" she whispers.
I turn around, not even taking a look at her as I enter the bathroom. Pacing back and forth a few times, trying to unclog by brain, I notice Maura's left her clothes in here. I didn't see her pull PJ's out of her luggage either. So, if her shirt, pants, and bra are all in here.
And she didn't grab PJ's, that means…
Pulling the bathroom door handle as forcefully as I could, I peak out.
She's standing where I left her. Looking out on the exact same view I was moments ago.
She stands tall, clasping her hands in front of her. She's beautiful just to look at.
And she's standing there.
In only that scavenger hunt shirt.
And her panties.
We have certainly never hung out in just our panties.
Never.
And my understanding of her choice cools the raging fire.
Tonight was especial. Different. And she took it another step forward. And for once, I wasn't nervous or afraid. I didn't find myself cautious when I slipped off my bra and slipped on my shirt.
I couldn't even hear my heart thumping in my ears when my pants hit the floor.
And lastly, I felt the cool breeze roll over my skin as I opened the bathroom door.
No more fire. Only acceptance. Only moving forward.
"So, that one request. Can I hear it now?" I murmured from behind her. I stood about a foot away when she turned around. She didn't let her self rake over my body with her eyes, she didn't need to look down. She knew we were both in this together.
"Well, I say we start and finish that bottle of champagne, than we can see if you have earned that information." She spoke.
Forty minutes later had us blaring music and dancing without restraint. We definitely finished that bottle of Champagne and half the bottle of tequila we had sent up by room service.
Somehow, Maura had hooked her phone up to the speakers in the TV.
We had a full on 2 person party going on in our hotel room.
Maura was no on top of the couch dancing to Adele's "Set fire to the Rain" wiggling her hips back and forth and screaming the chorus. I dropped instantly to my knees and laughed as loud as my body would let me. Taking a few seconds to crawl I've to my bag, I instantly found my phone and started recording.
For a drunk and unfocused videographer, I must say the video was beautifully captured. The curtains had been fully drawn which means the entire Boston skyline was lighting up the background as Adele's vocals vibrated throughout the room. Maura had her eyes closed singing like I had never seen her sing before. Clutching her heart as she sang the last note, I felt a tear run down my cheek.
She was just so beautiful.
Entrancing.
So fucking Maura.
As soon as the song was finished, she saw me holding up my phone recording her. "Jane! You did not!"
Before I could even think about getting up off the floor or stop the recording, I saw her rush off the couch towards me. Clicking to lock my phone so she couldn't delete, she pounced on top of me to get it. Saying things like "I just want to see it!" and "I would never record you!" sent me into another fit of laughter. I was fully on my back now with both hands tucked under my body clutching my phone. Maura kept trying to stick her hands behind me to retrieve the phone but was unsuccessful each time. When I finally thought she was done trying, she straddled me. Instantly, I stopped laughing and she stopped trying to get the phone.
Because in the moment, I don't think either one of us remember that we were both in just our panties.
Mine, black silk boy shorts.
Hers, olive and lace.
Our eyes met as the laugher and sound drowned out. She didn't get up. I didn't intend to move.
She sat there.
I laid there.
We were touching each other.
Hers.
On top of mine.
I felt the weight of her.
Not her body, but her.
Heat. I felt heat from her.
"Jumping on the bed"
Shaking my head to clear up my internal thoughts, I responded. "What?"
"The request, Jane. I want to jump on the bed. I never got to when I was younger and it always looked… euphoric."
Taking a moment to recover, I agree with her request. Jumping off the floor after she got off of, well… me, I retrieved the tequila bottle from the couch across the room. Turning the music down, I replied "Okay, this is definitely my last shot but it's almost midnight so we have to drink one more to celebrate your birthday."
I cut up another lime we were keeping onto of the desk in the room, while she rinsed out the shot glasses. I picked up the salt and sat it right next to the limes. I definitely needed more liquor.
And I wanted more time.
More time in this day, more hours.
"What is I had just one more request?" She whispered.
Looking to the right of me, Maura was standing in the doorway to the bathroom. Leaning against the door jam, her eyes focused on the rinsed shot glasses in her hand. She looked nervous.
"Okay, what is it?"
"If this is my last birthday drink of the night, I want to take it how I would like."
Confused, I replied "Okay, but I only…"
Cut off, Maura finally walked out of the door jam towards me. "Shhhh. No more talking for a while."
She passed by me and turned the music back up. The song had a slower rhythm but was no where near a ballad.
Moments later, she stood in front of me. Sitting both of the shot glasses down and filling them up the the top with tequila, she looked at the salt. I noticed her hesitancy before lifting her arm up and licking it. She wet the inside of her arm, below the bend with her tongue. Leaning down to sprinkle salt on the wet patch, she made eye contact again. Her hands gave me my shot and the lime.
Not forgetting about the no talking, I knew I had to go with my gut. Her intentions, although laid out right in from of me, were very unusual. But, that I don't think will stop us from moving forward anymore.
The music was ringing in my ears.
The emotions and feelings of the day were onto of my shoulders.
Euphoric. Confusing. Happy. Unforgettable.
So, I gave her the request. I sat the lime down on the desk and lifted her arm with my own. Taking a half of a second to pause, I leaned in. I licked every single piece of salt off of her skin.
I sucked it off with my lips and licked it off with my mouth.
Her eyes were wide when I leaned the liquor back and bit the lime. She went to say something in shock, but I laid my fingers over her lips- reminding her of the no talking. Picking up the shot, I put it in her hands.
I was going to be daring. Really give her something to remember. Slowly, I cradled the back of her head with my hand. Pulling her against me, I settled her lips on my neck. I was hopeful she knew what that meant.
Not even seconds later, I felt her. Her tongue started slipping and sliding over my throat. A far bigger section than was needed for the salt. She even sucked on my neck one time, earning her a whimper that I couldn't believe left my mouth.
Ending the contact, she sprinkled the salt over the patch and licked it again before finishing the salt.
Hearing the clank of the shot glass hit the desk, I take her hand. I get onto the bed and pull her to follow. The music is almost deafening now, having moved onto another Adele power ballad. I start jumping as I internally register the moment.
The background is the skyline again when I look at her.
She starts jumping, still holding onto my hand as I see her face break out in the largest smile.
I try not to register her bra-less chest bounce up and down. But, looking into her eyes, I realize she's not.
She's simply staring. Openly. At my breasts.
Every jump, the shirts ride up. Up and up but never high enough. A couple more jumps in, my fingertips start to tingle. I want to see. I want to feel.
She has not stopped, either. Only looking at my face and down at my chest. Nothing else because nothing else matters in this moment.
So, I start. Staring that is. But, I don't get to stare for long. Because she has stopped jumping. She takes a step towards and grabs my hands, pulling me closer to her.
Glancing up to meet my eyes, she puts her hands over mine at the edge of her shirt.
She keeps eye contact as her hands guide mine in pulling up her shirt.
Or so I thought.
Just when I thought her shirt was coming up over her head, she stops, flattens my hands.
And has me encompass her chest.
Her hands squeeze my own and her head falls back, softly moaning.
And I am on fire again.
Pulling my hands out from under hers, her eyes and head instantly meet my own.
I can tell she thinks she has gone too far. Even though the whole day, the whole month we have been telling each other otherwise. Just not with words.
As fast as I can, I pull her shirt off and cradle the back of her head once again.
Moments later, I have laid us down on the bed with myself on top.
Her eyes haven't left my own.
The lyrics are lovely. And loud. Matching our own thoughts perfectly.
I lean my weight on my left side as my right hands starts at her stomach and heads north. Flattening my palm between her breasts, I take her neck in my hand.
As I lean down to kiss her, a single tear falls from her eye as they slip close.
She whispers just before my lips make contact. I've never heard so much raw emotion behind a single word.
"Finally."