Drown My Will.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own Cats or any of its wonderful characters.

Introduction:

It is one thing to be apart of something, it is something entirely different to become completely submerged. Suffocated beyond any comprehension, swallowed up until you are overwhelmed. The 'I' deprive of life by the other. And though all sense of will is perished, the sensual pleasures of utter immersion is so inviting, that you welcome them to drown your will.

Chapter One:

"I know there's something within you, something wild and savage. Something dark and yearning."

"I don't............" She cut off as he ran a paw down her back; her skin tingled under his touch.

The sound of the wind rushing through the branches of a willow tree roared through the silence of the night, tearing around their bodies in a rage of natural splendour.

"There has always been something special about you Demeter, something different from all the other queens."

She could feel her breath quickening.

"I've always seen it within you." He walked around her as he said this, paws touching her body delicately as he went. Her body began to sway, unconsciously following his touch. "Something fragile and deep."

"I'm not made of glass." The scorn that she had hoped to invest failing to part her lips.

"You are not weak Demeter." She gasped as he clutched her from behind. "There's gentleness, tenderness about you that you either want to break..." His claws bit painfully into her side. She threw her head back in discomfort, it rested against his shoulder. Turning his face to hers he continued "....Or you want to protect. And yet at the same time you want to do both." He turned her gently in his arms until their noses almost touched. "You bare your soul and only those who are worthy of you can see it. You're beautiful inside and out. My black and gold queen."

His lips touched hers before she could reply. Hungrily pressing down and for a moment hers pressed back as though trying to quench a deep thirst. Then realising what she was doing she pulled back.

"No!" She said breathlessly. "No. I can't....you...I shouldn't." He kissed her again, she almost melted.

This time Macavity broke the clench.

"There has always been something between us Demeter, I felt it from you, you want this as much as I. They all think you are sweet and innocent, you resent it. I know what you crave. I know what burns within you. I want you. But I want you to tell me you want this. I want you to admit it."

She stood there panting, her lips parted, the moonlight playing about her limbs highlighting the gold of her body casting in pitch the blackness. Making her appearance hauntingly beautiful. If she turned him away now...........?

Thoughts jostled within her.

'I love Munkustrap!'

'But does he love you?'

'Yes!'

'He has never admitted it!'

'But I have felt it!'

'Can you be sure?'

It was as though she was split in two. Each part of her level in its argument. He was right though; there had always been something between them. When he was near her she felt a savage lust rise up begging to be fed. But she wasn't Bomba, she wouldn't just.....but she felt so....oh.......

He saw the battle playing about her face. His entire body shock with yearning. He had wanted her for so long. When he was able to understand what it was he was feeling for this delicate queen, it had only made his yearnings grow. He had to have her........he had to......It was becoming difficult to contain this hunger!

"I'm not Bomba." She finally said. It sounded partly as though she had meant it for herself.

"You only give your heart. You don't sell your body." It sounded rough, but he had to clench his teeth when he spoke, the hunger was now raking his body.

She studied him carefully, his entire body shaking in the moonlight. The fire that seemed to burn within his eyes terrified her. Could she really inspire such feelings?

"I don't........"She had to steady herself, control her breathing. A part of her wanting to run.......but the other.

Did she dare unleash that fire?

Demeter entered the junkyard casting about frantic looks; she desperately did not want to be seen. All however seemed deserted. 'Thank Heaviside.' It was late passed midnight by the slant of the moon, most of the cats should be settled for the night or else had returned to their human homes.

The junkyard was mercifully silent as she dashed across the open space, with the ball only a few weeks away most felines would be utterly exhausted after a hard day of practice, all wanting to be step prefect for each of it's complicated dance routines.

Hoping frantically that Bomba had found a tom to settle down for the night with, she stalked nervously towards the den she shared with her sister. Peering warily around the entrance she found she could neither see nor smell Bomba, sighing at this sudden stroke of luck she fell more then entered the den.

Macavity for once ignored the various tasks that awaited him, instead strolled lazily through the maze of corridors that adorned the friary. The usual huddle of snivelling yes cats shadowed his footsteps nattering incisively, that was until he scared them off. He wanted to be alone right now, alone to saviour the memory of what had just occurred. Strangely his stomach seemed to flutter at the thought?

A grin stole unbeknown across his face leaving those in his wake to scatter fearfully, for Macavity rarely smiled, it could mean only one thing to them, trouble was coming.

Demeter began grooming herself vigorously, the scent of Macavity was so strong that she hoped Bomba really was preoccupied; she had no wish to discuss her actions of the night. 'What the hell was I thinking?' The whole thing seemed determined to replay itself, but she forced the memory to the back of her head. 'What the hell possessed me?' A feather light touch brushed her mind, the memory stubbornly refusing to be forgotten. 'Like I could forget that!'

Her breath caught as her tongued passed over a small scratch on her arm, one of numerous little scratches that marred her body. She ached with them; Macavity had not been altogether gentle.

Her grooming slowed then stilled as her eyes misted over, suddenly she was there once again;

"This isn't me." Was that a glint in his eyes? Collecting every shred of courage, feeding on that overwhelming desire within. "But your right. I want you!" She said in a rush. "I've always......."She never got to finish, Macavity moved with lightening reflects.

He crushed her against himself, lips locking as though he wished to drink away her soul. When he finally let her up for air she moaned in ecstasy and pain as his claws dug down her back.

She pushed the thought away, panting slightly due to effort, she never behaved like that. Never! Yet the wanting had been so strong, Macavity had ferreted away, boring into her inner most yearnings. He knew her deepest wants and desires. The immense urge to throw away her prefect demeanour, to step over that line that everyone seemed to have enforced around her, to tear to shreds that prefect image of herself had scrambled her wits.

As she had grown her self assigned protectors had cast a bubble around her as though fearful she would experience the world and all its offerings. Macavity knew her, knew her to such a point that it terrified and intrigued her. He never gave restraint or caution.

True she was only young, not quite a full queen, and this ball would officially announce her queen hood, but she resented the limitations that her tribe had set in place.

Bomba did as she wanted and all accepted that, Cassandra and Alonzo had dance the mating dance young, Tantomile and Coricopat were free to do as they wished, true everyone was a little nervous around them but that wasn't the point.

For years she had accepted it, but temptation was strong and she had dared to grasp it;

He drew her down to the floor; the cold of the ground sharp against the heat of her back adding to the raging storm of sensations caused her back to arch elegantly. He traced his paws along the white bib of her front, causing her back to press almost hungrily to the floor once more.

Placing himself upon her, she gasped as he entered her. For a moment their eyes met. He kissed her so delicately, belaying the fire that still blazed within his eyes that her nerves abated. Paws noting within the mane of his fur, she braced herself.

Macavity sighed as he let the memory wash over him. He was alone for once, comfortably stretched out on an old wooden prayer pue. It had been along time in coming but he had finally tasted Demeter.

Demeter?

He contemplated that name for a moment, allowing himself to ponder the mix of emotions that flared up at the mere thought of this queen. She had always been a source of great intrigued to him, something about her that he couldn't explain, it pulled at him in such a way that it left him wanting. Wanting to unlock these mysteries, wanting to experience more of these puzzling feelings that she gave off.

He had wanted to take her back with him tonight but she had seemed hesitant, reluctant to leave her beloved tribe. He sneered at that, bringing his arms behind his head he sighed once more. She would be his, but it would hurt the Jellicles much more if she came to him willingly. Yes finally everything was falling into place.

Tensing suddenly; he wasn't alone, the feel of another presence was strong, nostrils flaring he instantly recognised the scent, without even bothering to turn his head he addressed his unannounced visitor. "It's late Griddlebone; don't you need beauty sleep or something?" Bristling slightly she entered further without comment. "What brings you here?" Finally facing the breath taking queen.

"There's another scent upon you. Who's?" She gasped; she had thought he had given up on such sports. His last experience with those disgusting hookers had presented quite a predicament.

"You haven't answered my question Griddlebone; don't you understand how rude that is?"

"You were supposed to have met Cestor tonight."

Suppressing a cringe he sat up eyes boring into hers, she merely looked back, unlike the rest of his tribe she seemed unimpressed by his acts of intimidation. On the whole she was a puzzle. She was stubborn, annoying, she always question him and to a point she could be damn right rude. But like himself she was some what of an intellect, refreshing considering the usual dim wits he had to deal with daily. Perhaps that was why he allowed her to live?

"I was preoccupied." There it was again that strange fluttering sensation?

"For months you had me preparing Cestor for you and for what, to throw it away for some prostitute?" The scent was definitely a queens, it was far to subtle for a tom's.

"My dear you have done such a good job on him he'll be easy enough to rope back in."

Griddlebone studied Macavity carefully. There was no doubt about it he was definitely in an unnaturally good mood; there was no bite to his words, no icy chill that left you quacking?

Since the first time she had met him, Macavity had been highly elusive, always retaining a part of himself, never opening up for anyone. At first this did not bother her; she herself would never let anyone truly know every aspect of her life. As their acquaintance bloomed however she had begun to pick upon certain traits.
While his power and prestige grew so did this overwhelming desire to get back at his old tribe or more exactly his brother or at least that was what she had first thought. But as time passed she began to notice that perhaps, there was something quite different that he was searching for.

"I admire your belief in my skills."

He laughed softly at her presumption, but that was Griddlebone he was used to it by now. "It appears that there will be some miner adjustments made to proceedings, things have finally taken fruition."

"What?"

Macavity jumped lithely off the wooden pue, stretching he began casually walking towards her. It was only when he was mere inches from her did he speak. "Yes." He replied lazily. "Cestor my not play as big a part in this as I had once thought. For now we'll put those plans on hold, I have found a much more enjoyable substitute." He towered over her impressively.

"This whore I smell upon you?" Her entire body quivered with suppressed anger. Her eyes roamed his body as despite her best show of indifference; it was much more preferable then meeting his gaze. Small gauge marks lined his shoulders and sides. Did he just take or was it given?

"She is no whore." His own temper rising. "And she will help me destroy those pathetic Jellicles."
She tensed, knowing instantly where this was going, the scent, his good mood, blowing off Cestor, it should have been obvious. "Demeter?" She breathed.

"Demeter." He whispered, his eyes taking on a vacant expression;

A tear slid out of the corner of her eye, she was so overwhelmed with pleasure.

Slowing suddenly as though sensing her slight discomfort, he ran his paws along her body once more, she was so soft and firm in all the right places. The way her body moved beneath him as he caressed her in-sighted so much desire and wanting that he was afraid of losing control. He didn't want to hurt her; he knew that if he unleashed it fully he could. She was so precious.

She smiled at him mischievously, as though reading his mind.

Placing his arms around her, she used her arching body to push his into a sitting position. Then kissing him, she seemed to dance upon him, their own private dance. He groaned in sheer pleasure as he pressed her against himself; she drove her claws into his flash, clamping into his shoulders, gauging deep marks as they went. He growled deep within his throat, not out of displeasure but out of sheer joy and wonderment. He knew she had it in her!

Pleasure rising almost to its peak he pressed her forcefully to the floor once more, feeding on what she had already ignited. Demeter seemed to wither beneath him, her head titled to the side gasping in air.

"Deme where the hell have you been?"

"BOMBA!" She shouted in alarm. "What are you doing here?"

"I've been looking everywhere for you." Paws on hips, she marched upon Demeter. Panicked Demeter dashed to her feet retreating to the back of the den. She had not managed to groom herself properly! Raising her paws alarmingly had the desired affect of halting Bomba; it did not unfortunately stop the torrid of words that flew out of her mouth.

"I've been worried sick Demeter." She only ever used her full name when she was mad. "Sulking around for a week and now this. What the hell has been going on?"

"Is it so hard to accept that I need some time alone? You go off for days and I'm not expected to bat an eyelid!"

Bomba looked taken aback, Demeter had not realised that she had been shouting. But she was angry and panicked; she had to get rid of Bomba before her senses cleared enough to recognise what it was she should be smelling.

"This is not you Demeter. You've been secretive, moody and now this. You've been gone all night!"

"I'm not a kitten any more; you don't have to protect me Bomba."

"If I didn't protect you who knows what trouble you'll be in, it's not safe out there Demeter not anymore, especially since Macavity been active." A spasm shot through Demeter's body at the mention of that name; unfortunately it did not go unnoticed;

Mouth gaping he drew in the air. Then quickly glanced at her. He had almost lost himself then. He hoped desperately that he had not hurt her. Sweat glisten on her forehead in small beads, her face looked flashed but elated. He kissed her gently on the forehead.

"Deme what's wrong?" Bomba had grasped Demeter's shoulders and was shaking her worriedly.

Thoughts snapping back into focus Demeter pushed herself away, pressing herself into the depth of the den until she hit wall. Bomba stared at her sister, concerned about these strange actions, that was until a faint tickling sensation shot up her nose.

"Demeter, why do I smell....?" Demeter watched horrified as Bomba sniffed the air, taking deep breathes as she inched closer. "Macavity!"

"She came to you willingly then?" Griddlebone could not believe Macavity would lower himself to such degrading acts, but the marks on his body worried her.

"Did you suspect otherwise?" Cold charm oozed off him in waves.

"I merely thought....."

"You merely thought the task impossible to warrant such actions." Interrupting. "Demeter has always been susceptible to me; she is Deuteronomy's favourite or at least one of his and she holds the affections of my dear brother, not to mention being the life and soul for her sister Bombalurina. All in all a prefect candidate for the Jellicles ruination."

The smug look that crossed his face was unbearable, the reasoning was plausible but she couldn't help but think any Jellicle would have the same desired affect. Well except the part concerning his brother.

"How exactly are you going to use her?" She said as she placed herself on the now vacant bench.

"Don't you see?" He exclaimed while pacing the room eagerly. "She holds the affections of some of the most influential tribe members, if they go to pieces over her so do the rest of their tribe. It is as simple as long division, take A and find B and you get C. The domino effect it is more commonly known as and it will be their downfall."

A shudder shook her as a light of anticipation gripped Macavity; she had a feeling that it was not going to be a simple as Macavity hoped.

"Demeter why do I smell Macavity on you?" Demeter stood there frozen all thought processes temporarily lost. It would be so easy to lie, especially when Bomba followed with. "Did he hurt you?" After taking in her appearance.

Opening her mouth she could feel the lie form on her lips, then however a rebellious streak took hold. "No."

"No?" Blinking in surprise. "Deme I don't under......NO!"

If the situation was other then it was, the sheer look of dawning comprehension that spread across Bomba's face would have been hysterical, the need for further explanation made it not.

"He didn't hurt me." She replied stubbornly.

"Deme." She said with a laugh. "You're not seriously trying to say that you....with Macavity....willingly?"

The disbelief and the laugh coupled with it was enough to flush her checks with anger. "Do you think you're the only queen able to seduce? Do you think that because I do not hold the same confidence as you with toms that I would be less of an attraction? Are you so vain?"

Mirth was soon lost as anger began to surge. "Macavity is vicious, vile, and extremely dangerous Demeter, have you forgotten what he did to the tribe? Not to mention the things we hear about. I never thought you would be foolish enough to get yourself mixed up in his schemes."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"He's depraved Demeter don't you understand what that means? It means he's perverse, he has no morals, no conscience...."

"I'm not a fool Bomba!"

"Well you could have fooled me! I'll admit there's a sort of charm about him but I personally wouldn't allow myself to be used as a ploy."

"A ploy?" Disbelief apparent.

"You don't honestly believe he's doing it for the attraction Deme? It's clear he's only using you." It was said so venomously and with such contrite that Demeter flipped.

"Has it now come to this Bomba? Your little sister succeeding were you have not? Does it hurt Bomba to know that you for once are not the main attraction? Does it torment and reap jealousy that you have not come first place in the eyes of a tom. Don't belittle yourself further your reputation as a whore is more then enough."

SLAP!

It took a few moments while her vision cleared to realised that Bomba had hit her. Staring in utter disbelief she watched as Bombalurina; eyes brimming with tears, ran off.