A/N I don't own Naruto, but I do kind of own Ally and Steve. They're based off of my bestie and her Bf. So, yeah. This is my first upload in a while, but I have come back with reinforcements! check out the only two authors I've favorite-ed, because they were the inspiration for this.

Toodles,

Anya

Sasuke Uchiha opened his coal eyes to nothingness. Complete and utter nothingness. Except for the one light streaming on his face, illuminating his pale features just enough for the world to see a god-like profile. On cue, Sasuke sighed and started to rise off of the bed. All according to the script.

"Oh my ! SASUKE I LOVE YOU! MARRY ME!" An especially exuberant teenage girl yelled at the television. She clutched her Sasuke and Edward dolls to her chest, practically hyperventilating.

Sasuke looked at the camera that was tracking his every move and flipped his hair.

Off-screen, the Director grinned. This was perfect. She glanced over to the ratings and watched as they sky-rocketed. She was going to be rich.

Then, a panicked voice echoed through the halls of the set.

"Sasuke-kun, help!"

Sasuke mentally grimaced at the practiced voice, noting how fake it was. But they would believe her. They always fell right into their hands. His eyes met his Director. Her eyes narrowed slightly, a silent warning against disobedience.

Sasuke sighed again and lept into "action."

"NOOOOOOOOOO! SASUKE! YOU SHOULD COME AND RESCUE ME! NOT HER! LET HER DIE!" Aren't teenagers frightening?

After saving the poor damsel in distress, the common buzzing filled the set and Sasuke dropped the plastic he called a "sword."

"Wonderful everyone! Great work today! Everyone should go get a good night's rest, because we have got one long day tomorrow." The Director's cheerful call rang through the air. She finally locked eyes with "Sasuke". He saw the hatred etched in her features. "Look Sasuke," she said nonchalantly as she walked closer, "While ratings are still high, we need to keep things interesting. So, after tomorrow, you're fired. We're going to, instead, bring in this guy." She gestured slightly to a boy standing coolly on the other side of the set.

Sasuke first thought: Oh my god, what is up with that boy' hair?

Second thought: Oh god, he's ancient.

Final thought: Is he- sparkling?

~ONE WEEK LATER~

Sasuke tipped the shades onto his eyes and walked calmly into the supermarket. He had finally lost the paparazzi and all of his fans, and now he could just shop in pea-

Sasuke froze, mid-thought. Did he just hear giggling? Oh hell no. Not again.

"There's no way that's him, Ally. He's like, my IDOL!"

"Whatever. I don't see why you like him so much, but that is definitely him. "

"You really think so?"

"Yes. But you should probably leave him alo… You're not standing next to me anymore, are you?"

But alas, Ally's companion had departed.

Well, this was new. There wasn't a teenage girl clinging to his arm right now. It was a dude.

"Steve, get back here! Let go of this poor dude's arm. STEVE!"

Ally ran to her boyfriend's side and started peeling him off of the tall boy

"And you were on that television show and you were so dreamy. How do you do that with your hair? What shampoo do you use, because your hair smells amazing!"

Ally finally, after several failed attempts to free the poor T.V. star, resorted to slapping Steve repeatedly.

But sadly. Steve was never pulled off of his Idol's arm. In fact, even today, Steve is still clinging to his favorite star.