She's never liked graveyards. Especially on days like today, when it's overcast and the spring day feels just a tad lifeless. They're dark, and sad, almost depressing.
But today, she decides, is the perfect day.
Danny leaves for work early, collecting his grading from their kitchen table and downing his coffee in two gulps. He presses a kiss to her forehead, telling her he'll pick up dinner on the way home and to take it easy, don't work too hard.
She nods, squeezing his hand tightly before letting it go and replying with her request for him to have a good day.
Now she's here, at the gates of the cemetery, car parked only a few steps away. It's a Wednesday, a day that no one seems to be interested in going to a cemetery. It's nearly empty, which is exactly what she wants.
There's a small noise from below her, and she shifts her gaze to the stroller in front of her, the corners of her lips turning up.
"Someone's woken up, huh?" She says, moving her hand to stroke the three-week olds smaller one. Her daughter yawns, big brown eyes looking intently at her. "Good. I have something to show you."
She begins walking slowly, through the gates. She doesn't even need to think about her path, knows exactly where to turn and stop without having to use her mind. It only takes her around two minutes to reach it, and then she stops. Pausing for a moment, Clara takes a breath and pushes a piece of hair to rest behind her ear.
"Hey, Mum." She pulls a bouquet of lilies from a compartment in the stroller and moves closer to the tombstone. "It's been a while."
She doesn't know what she expects. Not a reply, obviously. Maybe a sense of someone watching her. But it's the same as every time she's come to see her mother's grave.
She just feels kind of numb. And because of that, she's been avoiding coming here for years.
"A lot's been going on." She continues talking, leaning down to place the flowers leaning against the stone. "Rather a lot. Danny and I, we got married. It was beautiful, Mum." She smiles, reminiscing. "You would've loved it."
There's a whimper from the stroller, and immediately Clara moves back, pulling her daughter up into her arms and cooing softly. The infant grows calm at her touch, and then just stares up at her mother, with the curiosity that is almost always written on her features.
Then she moves back to the edge of the tombstone, slower this time.
"We have a baby." She begins, releasing her knees to bounce gently, a trick she's learned in her short time as a mother calms her daughter down. "A little girl. Grace Ellie Pink. She's just three weeks old, came earlier then we thought."
A cool breeze blows across the back of her neck, and she shivers, wrapping part of her jacket to encircle both her and her Grace. She's yawning, snuggling deeper into Clara's chest.
"I could really use you here, Mum." Her voice fades to barely more than a whisper. "Danny's been amazing, as a father. And Dad's been around, helping all that he can. But it's hard." She closes her eyes, just briefly. "Most of the time, I don't have a bloody clue what I'm doing, and I could really use some advice from you. Even if you didn't know what you were doing, just having you around would be truly lovely. God, Mum, I wish-"
She's not going to cry. She promised herself that she's not going to cry.
"I wish you were here to tell me that I'm not doing everything wrong." Despite her vow, two tears slip down her cheek and she adjusts Grace to one arm, wiping them hastily. "Danny's been wanting me to take it easy. He wouldn't like me being out alone, especially not after I insisted he go back to work." She moves back to the stroller, places Grace back in and wraps her snugly in her blanket. "I'd best be going." Then she looks back at the tombstone, the white lilies standing out against the tombstone like milk poured into a fresh mug of tea.
"Bye, Mum. Love you."
AN: Just a little drabble that's been playing at my mind for a little while. I wrote it in half an hour, so obviously the technical side of it isn't really there. But I hope you guys enjoyed! Any thoughts?
xoxo,
J