This "story" is going to be a constantly updating oneshot of my headcannons. I've wanted to post this for a while and since my other works are giving me trouble I figured, oh, what the heck?! So, let's discuss. In the reviews, feel free to talk on these or post your own HetaHeadcannons (adding heta makes anything hetalia related. Hetaoni, Hetafiction, Hetachoclate, HetaElephants). Rated highly because some of these do pertain to characters' sex lives because, well, I have ideas on that. So, here we go!

1. I ship GerPan in 3 different ways. Way 1 is that they are in the regular Hetalia Universe and Germany becomes infatuated with Italy. Japan kind of feels like a third wheel and he starts to develop feelings for Germany. He wants him to be happy, even if it's with Italy, but he's quietly really bitter about the whole thing. This comes from TheAdventuresOfPotatoeBoy 's ongoing comic on tumblr. Look her up, it's some good ish.

2. Gerpan ver 2 is in 2p verse. I imagine the two are friends and sex buddies. Like, envision them at a world meeting. Someone says something to start a fight, this and that blows up, Italy whips out a knife and joins in, and these two lumps look at each other, lean back in their chairs, pull porn out of their jackets, and start to read. They glance over at the other's magazine from time to time. They also get along in that they constantly have to control Italy. I imagine his 2p being ver temperamental and quick to stab someone. Germany has the strength to keep him come where as Japan, from having received so many wounds in the past, is now conditioned to being stabbed and feels no pain from it. The two together can wrangle him in.

3. Like...okay Japan is old. OLD. Aint no way he's still a virgin. According to google, China is anywhere from 250,000 to 2.5 million years old, Japan is about 35,000, and France is like 1,700 or something. So China and Japan are way older than the other countries. Even if we take Hima's ages given to them, China is 4000, France is like 27, and Japan hasn't got an official age yet but he is older than 20 (Italy) and he was raised by China so that coulda been centeries ago. THE TWO ARE OLD. I imagine China is a sex expert as he's had so many years to experiment. Japan, on the other hand, was once all over with the ladies, may or may not have taken part in some ill-informed rapings during his horrible war history, but stopped doing it as he got older. He now calls himself too old or reserved or something for sex but let's be real, he lyin'. The Japanese way, again according to google, is basically lady - or in this case man - in the streets but freak in the sheets. LOOK HOW POLITE THIS MAN IS! THAT CORRELATES DIRECTLY TO THE FREAKINESS! SO, with that being said,

4. Gerpan ver 3, back in the regular world (I'll call it 1p world) and they get freaky. Germany ends up taking Japan to some kind of sex-house speak easy because he found Japan's stash of porn and figured the two secret pervs could relish. One thing leads to another and BOOM, rough sex. Me like.

5. So much sex so quickly, but let me just get it all out. Japan is a Sadist. Now maybe with Germany he'll go Vanilla and let himself be topped, but most the time I'd like to imagine his sex life is the opposite of his regular one. Sometimes he bats, sometimes he pitches, but regardless if the sex isn't vanilla he puts the S in BDSM.

6. China, Rome, and Germania used to be friends. But, they didn't all speak the same language. I imagine their interactions being gestures. For example, China one day meets up with Rome and admires his cape. Rome is interested in China's sleeves. The next time they meet, China has a big jacket crafted for Rome and Rome made China a cape. They run around, flailing their sleeves, Swishing their capes, and laughing together. Now Germania walks up and starts to fight with Rome, cause that's what they do. Kinda like UK and FR or Greece and Turkey. Then China jumps in as America or Japan respectively, and though he can't understand them, he does something silly like a back flip to get their attention, but ends up flipping into a tree. The tree die laughing. Speaking of three...

7. NEW TRIO - The secret Perv trio. This isn't really new, it's just, BTT is the only trio with any love. Bless BTT, it's amazing, but imagine Japan, Germany, and England tho. They all have secret porn stashes (Germany's on the top shelf of his closet in boxes, Japan's on his manga bookshelves. They're behind regular managa and have blank covers. I haven't decided where Iggy keeps his. ) So imagine them all finding out the others have kinks and going around collectively nose bleeding over everything. Speaking of nose bleeds...

8. NEW TRIO - Idk what to call it. Again not new but Japan, Taiwan, and Hungary. These three love to ship the other countries together, keep score on when their OTP does something cutesy, and at the end of the day/week/month, whoever's OTP has the most points wins. What do they win you ask? Custom doujins from Japan, and photos the three have taken of the countries doing promiscuous things. The collective swoons, faitings, fangirls, and nosebleeds these three would have just kills me :)

9. ANOTHER TRIO - Otaku Trio. Just picture it. Modern day at a world meeting, Japan is hunched over his laptop, France on a tablet, and America stares at his phone. The three are locked on until Germany realizes their not listening and asks - or rather screams - to know what's going on. They all simultaneously shush him and put up a hand, their eyes never leaving the screens. He leans over Japan's shoulder and sees a timer counting down seconds until a big green button with some conjee on it can but pushed. Suddenly, randomly, the three begin to mash screens and buttons, frantically typing as quickly as they can. "SOLD OUT!" Francis cries in exasperation, leaning back in his seat defeated. "I didn't get them either," America admits, frowning, forcing back tears. Japan smiles and looks back and forth between the two, who suddenly lean forward and stare at him in shock. "Three tickets to project DIVA...acquired." The two jump across the table and start screaming, fangirling over the vocaloids they'll get to see now live, thanks to Japan's speed typing skills. These three go to every con, every show, and watch anime together. World meeting be damned, they HAD to get these tickets in time.

10. Maybe it's cause I don't ship GerIta, but I don't like the idea of Germany being HRE. That doesn't mean the two aren't history repeating itself though. Think back to Rome and Germania. The two were the best/worst of frenimies. Rome was happy and eccentric while Germania was stiff, and strict. Ones happy-go-lucky nature got on the other's nerves but that didn't keep them from always being together. Now, it's their freaking kids. Germany is Germania with a hair cut and Italy is Grandpa Rome minus the muscles.

11. Japan's thoughts are sassy and sarcastic. Like, his politeness is mostly just a facade. On the inside, he's neurotic and angry as everyone else. Like...say America strolls up to Japan's place at 2am and wakes him buy screaming at the door that he wants to play a new game. Japan rolls out of bed and the whole way to the door is rolling his eyes and dragging a hand down his face thinking like "Oh my, a guest at 2 o clock in the goddamn morning. Wonder who it could POSSIBLY be. America? Coming over unannounced yet again at a ridiculous time? How SHOCKING!" But then he straightens up, opens the door with his usual kiku-ness and invites him in. Now, he still likes America and everyone else for that matter, it's just all his friends do crazy things (Germany always screaming, America explains himself, England talking to imaginary friends and arguing with people all the time, China is so loud when he's mad, Italy is an explanation for himself, Turkey is fine and so is Greece but he seems to only find them together where in which they become a headache, Prussia explains himself, ect ect. Japan is the only chill one.). So, it makes sense to me that he is like this in his head. It's their craziness that he loves, but would it kill people to leave him alone to his quiet from time to time?

12. England is very good at magic. It's just, Russia is too and tries to stop him, the other countries can't see his imaginary friends because they don't have a magic eye like he does, and he doesn't usually do anything too noticeable because he doesn't want to be crewel (like turning someone into a girl).

13. NEW TRIO: Magic trio. England, Norway,and Romania. They become an issue when they all get drunk together, because then they're only going to cast a bunch of spells and curse a bunch of people to not remember how to undo it in the morning.

More head cannons coming. What do you guys think of them so far?