Akuma-Tora no Raikon:
Ichi
I don't belong here. I don't belong there either. At the risk of sounding clichéd, I don't belong anywhere. I'm not trying to gain your pity, because I really don't need it right now. Give it to someone else who does. I'm dead serious. I can never belong anywhere and I never will. Now you probably think that I'm a person with a physical or mental disability. If only it were that simple. Perhaps if I explain why I am what I have become, you might just begin to understand. Then again, maybe not. That, or you simply won't believe me. At first I didn't believe it either. I thought that it was some kind of trick or dream. But she did something to me, and I haven't been the same since. Who am I talking about?
Perhaps I should start at the beginning...
If you watch enough television, you begin to see a trend. The main female character or heroine of each series is basically the same. Cheerful and loving family; nice, expensive house; caring friends; a school and grades that come straight out of a teacher's handbook. Basically everything is perfect about them. Just add a "major" problem to every episode, (like trying to find the perfect dress for the prom or something like that) and there is your show in a nutshell. Well, that's basically how my life goes. Yeah, right. If I fooled you with that last statement, then you really shouldn't be reading this. My life, if you want to call it that, is almost the complete opposite. The high school I occasionally decide to visit is filled with preppies and snobs. Everyone only cares about themselves or their social status. Popularity is everything, and if you're at the back of the line, the world seems like hell. My home life you ask? Non-existent. My father left me about ten years ago, and the woman who occasionally visits makes all her money illegally. Most of the time she's in jail or staying with one of her boyfriends. Since I'm the only kid in the family, I live alone in a beaten-up little shack on the outskirts of town.
Yeah, my life is really something to brag about. The one thing everyone wants. In fact, there's only one thing in the world that keeps me going. Light. Hikari Ashizumi to be exact. She has been my only friend and family for as long as I can remember. We first met in elementary school, when my problems were just beginning. For some strange reason, she seemed drawn to me. At first I rejected her. But as time went by, I realized that she was the only person in school that actually saw me as a person and not just part of the landscape. Stranger still, despite the fact that we came from very different backgrounds, we got along almost perfectly. It was like we were meant to be together. Many people tried to break us up, telling her that I wasn't the person to be hanging around. That I would bring her down with me. You see, Hikari's the kind of person that everyone likes; the kind of person that you'll never forget. She was not only exceedingly beautiful, but she was talented and smart. These rare qualities easily made her the most popular girl in school. To add to it, she was really a nice and agreeable person. Everyone in his or her right mind liked her. And because she was so popular, people tried to get her to leave me behind, saying that I was nothing but trash. But, being the angel that she was, Hikari always defended me. After we entered middle school, more people and from different schools joined us. More Hikaris seemed to spring up everywhere. Eventually she wasn't as special anymore. People still liked and respected her, just quietly and from a distance. But she was still everything to me.
Maybe that's why I did it. Maybe because without her I was nothing. Maybe because I wanted her to have something I never could. But maybe I did it for myself. Perhaps I was just being selfish. Something so amazing, could anyone pass it up? Obviously I couldn't. I was attracted to the power. To the revenge. To the numerous chances. Perhaps it was time for a change.
It was during one of the wondrous occasions on which my mother decided to come home. When I came down for breakfast that morning, there was a man that I had never seen before sitting at our kitchen table. We merely glanced at each other. I was used to my mom bringing home men from her "business," so this really was nothing new to me. He however, would have been shocked; if only he hadn't been so hung-over he couldn't even see straight. I guess my mom had forgot to mention to him that she had a sixteen-year-old daughter. She usually does. Otherwise, he might have remembered to wear more than his boxers. Like I said, we paid very little attention to each other. I simply sat down at the table across from him and began to eat my usual toast for breakfast. He went to the fridge to get a beer. I only stayed there for about fifteen minutes. But during that whole morning, I saw more of that man that I saw of my mother. Not that I cared. She certainly didn't.
Most kids that have a hard time at home sometimes manage to find comfort and acceptance at school. Well, that isn't the case with me. There are numerous reasons that people tend to group together to form their own little "inner circle." Some seek others like themselves; while others want to be with those they respect or wish to be like. Some stay with people they feel safe with, or whom they feel like they must protect. None of these apply to me. There is nobody like me, nor will there ever be. No one respects me, or is comforted by my presence. Not that it really matters. I don't need anybody. Anybody except Hikari. Except she wasn't there. She hasn't been there for the past two weeks.
Half the day passed and she didn't show. Hikari never misses school unless it's for a really good reason. I thought that she had been out on vacation, or possibly she was sick. But not for this long. Something was seriously wrong this time. So I left at lunch. Yeah, I know that you're not supposed to cut classes. But Hikari's the only reason that I go there. If she's not there, neither am I. Unfortunately, leaving campus was a little harder than I thought it would be. Misaki Hoshizuma. One of the people I despise most. One of the causes of my constant despair. And she knew it. Because I was a little preoccupied, I didn't notice her until it was too late and she had already begun her attack. "What have we here? A little trash washed up from the river?" I didn't bother to answer, but that only seemed to egg her on. "What, are you alone today? No prissy little girlfriend to protect you?" Nothing. After a few moments of silence, she seemed to give up on her futile attempts. "Lesbian scum." I stopped dead in my tracks. She was already walking away. "Hey!" I yelled. No answer. "Asshole!" That did it. "What did you call me?" She didn't even turn around. I straightened myself up to my full height. It wasn't very intimidating. "You heard me." Slowly but surely, she turned around to face her insulter. She looked seriously pissed off. I could tell that she wasn't used to getting insults from her own victims. A malicious grin crossed my face. I was definitely stronger than her, and I guessed I was a better fighter. I assumed wrong. "You are seriously going to pay for that." Anger flowed through every molecule in her body. With a quick wave of my hand I flicked her off. She lunged at me. I did the same. I thought that if I could land one solid punch to her face, she would immediately be down. All I had to do was dodge her first blow. Easier said than done. Despite my attempts to block, her fist contacted with my jaw. That was all it took. I went flying across the ground, skidding to a stop next to a tree. It took a few moments for me to regain my senses. When I did, my hand instinctively moved to my lip. There was a throbbing pain there. Blood. Red blood. The reddest red I had ever seen. A red of pure hatred. Misaki straightened herself out. A look way worse than mine crossed her face. "You shouldn't provoke a fight if you stand no chance of winning." I scowled at her, wiping the blood from my lip. She glared at me, and left. I murmured after her. "Selfish bitch."
Hikari didn't live to far from school. I had been to her house a few times, though none were recent. Her family always welcomed me, but they were just so happy and loving that it really didn't suit my taste to hang around much. Okay, that's a lie. I loved being around such caring people. It was so different from the way that I grew up. In her family, someone was always there for you, no matter what. In mine, no one ever really cared what happened to me. I could probably die, and no one would ever notice. Despite the fact that I loved being with her family, I tried to avoid it. I felt like they were only being nice because they pitied me. I hate being pitied. I felt like such a stranger that, no matter how much I wanted to, I would try to stay away from them. The other part is false too. Hikari lived on the other side of town. The times that I had visited her house, we had taken a train. Even then it took us almost an hour. I didn't have any money on me, so I had to think of another way. Stowaway. It wasn't like this was the first time that I had ever tried it. On numerous occasions, when I wanted to get somewhere outside the city and had no transportation, I would simply steal away on a train. After I slipped past the gate and guards, I boarded the train to find it overly crowded. Only then did I realize that it was lunchtime. Hundreds of people were commuting somewhere for lunch, or perhaps going home for the day. I hate crowds. If I hate people so much, what makes someone think that I would like crowds? I managed to find a corner to stand in, as away from people as I could manage. The trip wasn't really that long. Soon after I had boarded, the person who was sitting next to me left, so I took their seat. I thought about what had happened at school before I left. I was way stronger than Misaki, so why did I lose? After running the fight through my mind a million times, I finally gave up. I was pissed off that I hadn't even managed to lay a finger on her. She would never let me forget how I started the fight, and wasn't able to finish it. Eventually my stop came and I got off. Amazingly, I remember the exact way to Hikari's house. It had been so long since I had last gone and I hadn't written her address down anywhere, that I was afraid that I might get lost. Luckily, I didn't. Her house looked the same as usual. No wait. There was something different, but what was it? The usually cheery aura that surrounded the place was gone. One that was cold and chilling had replaced it. As I got closer to the door, I rubbed my arms with my hands. A chill had entered the air. I froze. Something had happened. Something terrible. Without even knocking, I opened the door and ran in. Nobody was there to stop me, so I rushed up to her room. The door was closed. I couldn't see in.
But I didn't have to.
I know that this may sound strange, but everything that I tell you is true. Why would I lie about something like this? The aura that I had said that surrounded the house seemed to be originating from her room. It began to get very cold, the closer I got. The lighting seemed dimmed. There was a silence that I felt more than heard. Something sinister. Death was near. I now know what I was feeling, but then I didn't. It scared the hell out of me. It still does.
Fearing the worst, I quietly turned the knob on her door. It opened without a sound. The door gently swung open until I could see the full layout of her room. Nothing had changed. Correction: nothing appeared to have changed. All her furniture and books were still in the exact same spot that I had last seen them. The carpet was still the same creamy color. Her posters of her favorite stars and singers still stared at me from the walls. Absolutely nothing material had changed. But the aura was gone. Everything that used to be cheerful and excited was now dull and dead. The lights weren't on, but I don't think that that was what the problem was. Everything seemed lifeless. Even her delicate form on the bed. I knelt down beside her. She was laying on her futon, covered in a thick blanket. The only part of her that I could see was her face. It looked pained and confused. Her mind appeared to be in a nightmare, while her body was still in the material world. She looked so different from the way that she usually was. It scared me. All I have ever truly known was now lying before my eyes in a lifeless heap. Everything that I once held dear to me seemed lost. Everything that I was appeared to be gone forever. I collapsed over her body. I cried harder than I had ever cried before. I had no idea what was really wrong with her, but I could tell that it was something terrible. I needed her. I needed her to tell me that everything was going to be fine. I needed her to comfort and console me until I had lost my last tear. I needed her by my side. I didn't even notice him step into the room. "You know, don't you." At the sound of that familiar voice, I turned around. It was Haru, Hikari's older brother. He stepped further into the room and knelt down beside me. I ran my sleeve across my face. "What's happened to her?" I timidly asked, fearing the worst. He sighed. I waited for him to answer. "Not to long ago, she came down with what we thought was a cold." Haru moved his hand to her cheek and began to caress it. "She stayed in bed a few days, but she didn't seem to get any better." I redirected my gaze to my lap. "We wanted to take her to see a doctor, but she refused." Haru dropped his hand. "Eventually it got so bad that we had to send her to the emergency room." My tears returned. "We got the best doctors in the country to look at her." I closed my eyes as tight as I could. Haru hesitated. I didn't want him to continue. "There's nothing they can do." Haru had been able to voice my worst fears. He had been able to say the one thing I never could. I hated him for it. He put his arm around me. I collapsed in tears onto his shoulder. "They don't even know what's wrong with her. They don't know if it's a mutated disease, or a completely new one. They don't even know where to begin." I really didn't care what they thought.
"How long-"
"A few days." I didn't believe it. Was this really the end?
I don't know how long I stayed there. It could have been forever, it could never have been. But once I left I knew immediately what I had to do. I would save her. I knew how.
To Be Continued in
Akuma-Tora no Raikon: Ni
Ichi
I don't belong here. I don't belong there either. At the risk of sounding clichéd, I don't belong anywhere. I'm not trying to gain your pity, because I really don't need it right now. Give it to someone else who does. I'm dead serious. I can never belong anywhere and I never will. Now you probably think that I'm a person with a physical or mental disability. If only it were that simple. Perhaps if I explain why I am what I have become, you might just begin to understand. Then again, maybe not. That, or you simply won't believe me. At first I didn't believe it either. I thought that it was some kind of trick or dream. But she did something to me, and I haven't been the same since. Who am I talking about?
Perhaps I should start at the beginning...
If you watch enough television, you begin to see a trend. The main female character or heroine of each series is basically the same. Cheerful and loving family; nice, expensive house; caring friends; a school and grades that come straight out of a teacher's handbook. Basically everything is perfect about them. Just add a "major" problem to every episode, (like trying to find the perfect dress for the prom or something like that) and there is your show in a nutshell. Well, that's basically how my life goes. Yeah, right. If I fooled you with that last statement, then you really shouldn't be reading this. My life, if you want to call it that, is almost the complete opposite. The high school I occasionally decide to visit is filled with preppies and snobs. Everyone only cares about themselves or their social status. Popularity is everything, and if you're at the back of the line, the world seems like hell. My home life you ask? Non-existent. My father left me about ten years ago, and the woman who occasionally visits makes all her money illegally. Most of the time she's in jail or staying with one of her boyfriends. Since I'm the only kid in the family, I live alone in a beaten-up little shack on the outskirts of town.
Yeah, my life is really something to brag about. The one thing everyone wants. In fact, there's only one thing in the world that keeps me going. Light. Hikari Ashizumi to be exact. She has been my only friend and family for as long as I can remember. We first met in elementary school, when my problems were just beginning. For some strange reason, she seemed drawn to me. At first I rejected her. But as time went by, I realized that she was the only person in school that actually saw me as a person and not just part of the landscape. Stranger still, despite the fact that we came from very different backgrounds, we got along almost perfectly. It was like we were meant to be together. Many people tried to break us up, telling her that I wasn't the person to be hanging around. That I would bring her down with me. You see, Hikari's the kind of person that everyone likes; the kind of person that you'll never forget. She was not only exceedingly beautiful, but she was talented and smart. These rare qualities easily made her the most popular girl in school. To add to it, she was really a nice and agreeable person. Everyone in his or her right mind liked her. And because she was so popular, people tried to get her to leave me behind, saying that I was nothing but trash. But, being the angel that she was, Hikari always defended me. After we entered middle school, more people and from different schools joined us. More Hikaris seemed to spring up everywhere. Eventually she wasn't as special anymore. People still liked and respected her, just quietly and from a distance. But she was still everything to me.
Maybe that's why I did it. Maybe because without her I was nothing. Maybe because I wanted her to have something I never could. But maybe I did it for myself. Perhaps I was just being selfish. Something so amazing, could anyone pass it up? Obviously I couldn't. I was attracted to the power. To the revenge. To the numerous chances. Perhaps it was time for a change.
It was during one of the wondrous occasions on which my mother decided to come home. When I came down for breakfast that morning, there was a man that I had never seen before sitting at our kitchen table. We merely glanced at each other. I was used to my mom bringing home men from her "business," so this really was nothing new to me. He however, would have been shocked; if only he hadn't been so hung-over he couldn't even see straight. I guess my mom had forgot to mention to him that she had a sixteen-year-old daughter. She usually does. Otherwise, he might have remembered to wear more than his boxers. Like I said, we paid very little attention to each other. I simply sat down at the table across from him and began to eat my usual toast for breakfast. He went to the fridge to get a beer. I only stayed there for about fifteen minutes. But during that whole morning, I saw more of that man that I saw of my mother. Not that I cared. She certainly didn't.
Most kids that have a hard time at home sometimes manage to find comfort and acceptance at school. Well, that isn't the case with me. There are numerous reasons that people tend to group together to form their own little "inner circle." Some seek others like themselves; while others want to be with those they respect or wish to be like. Some stay with people they feel safe with, or whom they feel like they must protect. None of these apply to me. There is nobody like me, nor will there ever be. No one respects me, or is comforted by my presence. Not that it really matters. I don't need anybody. Anybody except Hikari. Except she wasn't there. She hasn't been there for the past two weeks.
Half the day passed and she didn't show. Hikari never misses school unless it's for a really good reason. I thought that she had been out on vacation, or possibly she was sick. But not for this long. Something was seriously wrong this time. So I left at lunch. Yeah, I know that you're not supposed to cut classes. But Hikari's the only reason that I go there. If she's not there, neither am I. Unfortunately, leaving campus was a little harder than I thought it would be. Misaki Hoshizuma. One of the people I despise most. One of the causes of my constant despair. And she knew it. Because I was a little preoccupied, I didn't notice her until it was too late and she had already begun her attack. "What have we here? A little trash washed up from the river?" I didn't bother to answer, but that only seemed to egg her on. "What, are you alone today? No prissy little girlfriend to protect you?" Nothing. After a few moments of silence, she seemed to give up on her futile attempts. "Lesbian scum." I stopped dead in my tracks. She was already walking away. "Hey!" I yelled. No answer. "Asshole!" That did it. "What did you call me?" She didn't even turn around. I straightened myself up to my full height. It wasn't very intimidating. "You heard me." Slowly but surely, she turned around to face her insulter. She looked seriously pissed off. I could tell that she wasn't used to getting insults from her own victims. A malicious grin crossed my face. I was definitely stronger than her, and I guessed I was a better fighter. I assumed wrong. "You are seriously going to pay for that." Anger flowed through every molecule in her body. With a quick wave of my hand I flicked her off. She lunged at me. I did the same. I thought that if I could land one solid punch to her face, she would immediately be down. All I had to do was dodge her first blow. Easier said than done. Despite my attempts to block, her fist contacted with my jaw. That was all it took. I went flying across the ground, skidding to a stop next to a tree. It took a few moments for me to regain my senses. When I did, my hand instinctively moved to my lip. There was a throbbing pain there. Blood. Red blood. The reddest red I had ever seen. A red of pure hatred. Misaki straightened herself out. A look way worse than mine crossed her face. "You shouldn't provoke a fight if you stand no chance of winning." I scowled at her, wiping the blood from my lip. She glared at me, and left. I murmured after her. "Selfish bitch."
Hikari didn't live to far from school. I had been to her house a few times, though none were recent. Her family always welcomed me, but they were just so happy and loving that it really didn't suit my taste to hang around much. Okay, that's a lie. I loved being around such caring people. It was so different from the way that I grew up. In her family, someone was always there for you, no matter what. In mine, no one ever really cared what happened to me. I could probably die, and no one would ever notice. Despite the fact that I loved being with her family, I tried to avoid it. I felt like they were only being nice because they pitied me. I hate being pitied. I felt like such a stranger that, no matter how much I wanted to, I would try to stay away from them. The other part is false too. Hikari lived on the other side of town. The times that I had visited her house, we had taken a train. Even then it took us almost an hour. I didn't have any money on me, so I had to think of another way. Stowaway. It wasn't like this was the first time that I had ever tried it. On numerous occasions, when I wanted to get somewhere outside the city and had no transportation, I would simply steal away on a train. After I slipped past the gate and guards, I boarded the train to find it overly crowded. Only then did I realize that it was lunchtime. Hundreds of people were commuting somewhere for lunch, or perhaps going home for the day. I hate crowds. If I hate people so much, what makes someone think that I would like crowds? I managed to find a corner to stand in, as away from people as I could manage. The trip wasn't really that long. Soon after I had boarded, the person who was sitting next to me left, so I took their seat. I thought about what had happened at school before I left. I was way stronger than Misaki, so why did I lose? After running the fight through my mind a million times, I finally gave up. I was pissed off that I hadn't even managed to lay a finger on her. She would never let me forget how I started the fight, and wasn't able to finish it. Eventually my stop came and I got off. Amazingly, I remember the exact way to Hikari's house. It had been so long since I had last gone and I hadn't written her address down anywhere, that I was afraid that I might get lost. Luckily, I didn't. Her house looked the same as usual. No wait. There was something different, but what was it? The usually cheery aura that surrounded the place was gone. One that was cold and chilling had replaced it. As I got closer to the door, I rubbed my arms with my hands. A chill had entered the air. I froze. Something had happened. Something terrible. Without even knocking, I opened the door and ran in. Nobody was there to stop me, so I rushed up to her room. The door was closed. I couldn't see in.
But I didn't have to.
I know that this may sound strange, but everything that I tell you is true. Why would I lie about something like this? The aura that I had said that surrounded the house seemed to be originating from her room. It began to get very cold, the closer I got. The lighting seemed dimmed. There was a silence that I felt more than heard. Something sinister. Death was near. I now know what I was feeling, but then I didn't. It scared the hell out of me. It still does.
Fearing the worst, I quietly turned the knob on her door. It opened without a sound. The door gently swung open until I could see the full layout of her room. Nothing had changed. Correction: nothing appeared to have changed. All her furniture and books were still in the exact same spot that I had last seen them. The carpet was still the same creamy color. Her posters of her favorite stars and singers still stared at me from the walls. Absolutely nothing material had changed. But the aura was gone. Everything that used to be cheerful and excited was now dull and dead. The lights weren't on, but I don't think that that was what the problem was. Everything seemed lifeless. Even her delicate form on the bed. I knelt down beside her. She was laying on her futon, covered in a thick blanket. The only part of her that I could see was her face. It looked pained and confused. Her mind appeared to be in a nightmare, while her body was still in the material world. She looked so different from the way that she usually was. It scared me. All I have ever truly known was now lying before my eyes in a lifeless heap. Everything that I once held dear to me seemed lost. Everything that I was appeared to be gone forever. I collapsed over her body. I cried harder than I had ever cried before. I had no idea what was really wrong with her, but I could tell that it was something terrible. I needed her. I needed her to tell me that everything was going to be fine. I needed her to comfort and console me until I had lost my last tear. I needed her by my side. I didn't even notice him step into the room. "You know, don't you." At the sound of that familiar voice, I turned around. It was Haru, Hikari's older brother. He stepped further into the room and knelt down beside me. I ran my sleeve across my face. "What's happened to her?" I timidly asked, fearing the worst. He sighed. I waited for him to answer. "Not to long ago, she came down with what we thought was a cold." Haru moved his hand to her cheek and began to caress it. "She stayed in bed a few days, but she didn't seem to get any better." I redirected my gaze to my lap. "We wanted to take her to see a doctor, but she refused." Haru dropped his hand. "Eventually it got so bad that we had to send her to the emergency room." My tears returned. "We got the best doctors in the country to look at her." I closed my eyes as tight as I could. Haru hesitated. I didn't want him to continue. "There's nothing they can do." Haru had been able to voice my worst fears. He had been able to say the one thing I never could. I hated him for it. He put his arm around me. I collapsed in tears onto his shoulder. "They don't even know what's wrong with her. They don't know if it's a mutated disease, or a completely new one. They don't even know where to begin." I really didn't care what they thought.
"How long-"
"A few days." I didn't believe it. Was this really the end?
I don't know how long I stayed there. It could have been forever, it could never have been. But once I left I knew immediately what I had to do. I would save her. I knew how.
To Be Continued in
Akuma-Tora no Raikon: Ni