Author's Note: Okay, okay, I know I promised I'd write chapter 4 (ShikaxIno, YAY!) of Pain of Emotion, but this plot bunny is bouncy around in my head, demanding to be written. Enjoy! And please review!
Dedication: Dedicated to my crazy onee-sama, Kaoru-Hime, because she finally reviewed something. And just because.
Yami no Yasuragi
by Katako-Chan
"Go home and sleep."
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"Why? Why won't you tell me anything? Why do you always stay silent? Why won't you say anything to me?"
"Why do I have to tell you anything? It's none of your business. Stop concerning yourself about what I do."
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"Do you remember…that time when we were here alone, and you got mad at me, remember?"
"I don't remember."
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"…but revenge, that won't make anyone happy. No one. Neither you, nor I."
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"Are you going to choose to be alone again?! On that day, you taught me that solitude was painful! I understand that so well right now. I have a family, and I have friends, but if you're gone…to me, it'll be the same as being alone!"
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"I…I love you so much! I'll do anything for you. So, please! Stay here!…If you can't stay, take me with you…"
"You really are annoying."
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"Sakura…..thank you."
There is no end to it; that moment. It plays over and over again in my head, stabbing me, breaking me, crushing me.
How am I supposed to help it? I can't control it! It comes without end; ceaselessly tormenting me. And the few moments it isn't there…I torment myself.
I could have stopped him. I know I could have. I was there when he left. I was there when he walked out of the village, forever betraying us. I was there. And I could have stopped him.
So why didn't I? Why? Because I'm weak. Because I'm cowardly. Because I couldn't bring myself to. Because I would rather stand at the sidelines. Because I love him.
Yes, I love him. It isn't just a childish game, where every girl in the Academy messily proclaims it on her notebooks. It isn't a competition, to see who can win the hottest guy. No, it was never about beating Ino, seeing who could glomp Sasuke the most. It was never that. Yes, I love him.
I love him. That's why I couldn't stop him. I am weak. I am a coward. I couldn't bring myself to. But I love him.
For the longest time, I convinced myself it was a school-girl crush. That since I was twelve, even as a kunoichi, these feelings came all the time. That all it was was a competition. Who could win the grand prize?
But now I know it isn't. It isn't anything like that.
It's love. Love, because it tears me up inside when he's hurt and all I can feel is ominous dread. Because it hurts way deep down when he calls me annoying. Because it shatters me to see him not care.
They left this morning, the team. Naruto, Kiba, Chouji, Neji, and Shikamaru. They left this morning, and now it's evening. They left me behind. Me, an empty shell filled with the tiny fragments that used to be my heart.
Sleep. That's what I need. To sleep and detach myself from this world, from this pain. To detach myself from all the hurt and suffering. Mindless, careless, painless.
And I do sleep, and it's all I wished for: no dreams, no nightmares, just darkness. There is no pain in the abyss of darkness, not a single heartbroken tear or pain. It is a peaceful darkness.
But when I wake up…I wake up crying.
Ending Note: I hope everyone liked it! Yes, I know, I write too much angst, but angst is the best! Look up the title online to find out the meaning. I think that I overdid the bolds, italics, and underlines. But I'm trying out something new. And I thought it helped enhance the angsty-ness. Can't you see how insane I am? Please review and make me a very happy author! Your reviews are what motivate me to keep writing!