Ben woke covered in a cold sweat, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and held his head in his heads, it was only then that he noticed another presence in his room. He looked over and saw his father, Han Solo, hovering near the door, looking at a loss of what to do.

"Ben..." He started, not sure what to say, he hadn't known Ben still got nightmares like he used to.

Ben ran his long fingers through his hair and sighed, he stood while grabbing a mostly clean shirt from the floor and putting it over his head and promptly left the room. Han watched him go with an empty feeling in his stomach.

Ben slipped on his running shoes and started running around the base, going just fast enough that all he had to think about was breathing. Not many people were awake, after all, it was roughly 5:30 in the morning, but those who were sent him slightly fearful glances. Eventually he landed back at his private quarters where he desperately hoped that his father wasn't still there. When he entered and saw that Han Solo had indeed left, a little part of him sunk, but he brushed it off.

He slipped into the shower where he turned the water up so high that it hurt and he tried to let the steam clear that night's horrors from his mind, it didn't quite work. He got changed into plain black pants with a white shirt which was not quite buttoned up all the way and he headed out of his room towards a meeting which was taking place about five minutes from then.

Ben walked into the room, which was already mostly full, with his hands held behind his back and head held high. He was aware that his posture intimidated people, but that was their problem not his. He firstly noticed his mother standing at the opposite end of the table than him. The meeting was about a prisoner that they were currently holding, he wasn't giving up anything about what the First Order was planning.

Then, all eyes fell to Ben, "I can get it from him if it's there." He said tonelessly and Leia raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

The meeting was quickly adjourned after that and Ben began to head to where this prisoner was being held, but then it came to his attention that his mother was walking beside him, looking at his face with concern.

"Ben." She greeted softly.

"Madame General." He greeted formally, emotionlessly, not even turning to look at her.

"We didn't hear that you came back last night, was the mission successful?" She asked.

"Yes, without failure on all parts." He said, his face still closed off, giving no indication of what he was thinking to his mother.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

"I suggest that if you'd like to remain blind to exactly what is I do to these people that you leave now." He said quickly and precisely.

Leia was taken aback by the sudden outburst, she had been the one to request that she never hear of the things her son was involved with, so she could remain impartial in her job, but it was clear that Ben thought she just didn't care about him much. She nodded numbly and stopped walking, watching her son enter the interrogation room with a fascination.

Truth be told Leia was afraid of her son, if only a little, but she could not deny that she was. It wasn't because she had seen him do something or read one of his reports, which she never did, always handing it off to someone else, she was afraid because everyone else was. She was not oblivious to the way everyone looked at him when he walked into a room, or how she had occasionally heard snippets of her pilots praising him for his brutality and kill count.

Leia looked back up to the door, and decided to take a look, just for a second, just to reassure herself that Ben wasn't anything to be afraid of, then she would go on with her day, just a peek. She opened the door into the room behind the one way glass and saw that Poe Dameron was standing there watching.

"Oh, General Organa, are you sure you want to be here?" He asked with confusion, he spoke to her with warmth that one might've expected from their child. Although to be fair, after the death of Poe's parents when he was 10, Leia and Han had taken him in, almost adopting him while Ben was off training with Luke. Leia figured it was the least they could do for Poe's parents, Ben hadn't seen it that way.

Leia didn't respond to Poe's query, instead she asked him, "Why are you here?"

"Ah well, this guy killed three of my best pilots and I uh, I wouldn't mind watching him get what's coming to him." Poe admitted.

Leia was about to ask what he meant but then Ben walked into the other room with the prisoner the, sleeves of his white shirt pushed up to his elbows, he sat on the other side of the white table so that his back was towards Leia and Poe there was silence for a while before Ben spoke.

"I hear you have information regarding the movement of First Order troops across the Hosnian system, and that you know of a spy within the resistance." He said.

The man across from him said, "I won't tell you, or anyone else anything!"

Ben let out a deep chuckle that sent a shiver down Leia's spine and said, "Lucky for me I don't need you to say anything."

He reached out his hand and shut his eyes in concentration, and Leia watched as the man's face turned from confusion to pain. Leia's face was as white as a sheet as the man started to scream in pain, this lasted for mere moments before Ben stood and retracted his hand, "Thank you." He said, it was chilling.

Leia quickly left the room and walked towards where she knew Han would be, working on the falcon in the hangar bay. She quickened her pace, not wanting to think about how many people her son has done that to, or how she thought she heard Poe comment that it was 'shorter than usual'. She couldn't stop herself from thinking about what else she didn't know.

When she finally made it to the bay she was relieved to see Han sitting with Chewie on the ramp of the falcon, Han smiled and waved at her as she approached, but his smile faltered as he saw her expression, Leia saw him say something to Chewie, who got up and went inside.

"Han." Leia breathed out, pulling him into an embrace.

"Leia, what's wrong?" Han asked, rubbing gentle circles on Leia's back.

"Do you... do you know what Ben does?" She asked, taking a seat on the ramp.

"What do you mean?" Han asked with confusion.

"What sort of missions does he go on? What does he do Han? It's like everyone's afraid of him." She said.

"Leia, I'm not sure what's gotten into your head, but everyone looks at you like that too, you can be pretty scary, and-" Leia cut him off with a swift jab to the arm, "Ow! What was that for?"

"Han." She said seriously and he sobered up, "I just watched him torture someone." She said quietly, but Han heard her, and he wished he hadn't.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"Yesterday we caught a First Order officer who supposedly knew of a double agent within the resistance, Ben was supposed to interrogate him, but... he used the force to rip open the man's mind." Leia paused, "It was terrifying Han, I was terrified."

Han was silent for a moment before putting his arm around his beautiful wife, "Leia, we knew that this might happen, we knew when we decided to stay out of it, we knew that he might... hurt people."

"I know I just-" Leia stopped talking as Ben entered the hangar with Poe to his left and another recruit who Leia couldn't put a name to, to his right.

He was walking towards someone in particular, one of the newer recruits who had just joined up a few months ago, they were talking to a fairly high ranking officer, Nevarez was his name Leia thought. They turned to face Ben and Nevarez visibly paled, the other young man quickly took off in a sprint while Nevarez shot his blaster at Ben.

Ben raised his hand and suddenly Nevarez found he couldn't move, and he, like everyone else marveled at the blaster bolt which was frozen in mid air. Ben did not stop to admire his work, and instead took off after the other man.

Han and Leia quickly jumped to their feet and hurried after their son, not knowing what they would do when (if) they caught up, but just knowing that they had to be there, to see.

The man, closely followed by Ben ran out of the hangar into the torrential downpour that was the weather at the moment, the man looked around and stopped running, knowing he wouldn't be able to get away on foot. He turned to face Ben and reached into his jacket and pulled out a lightsaber, which surprised Ben, and also the crowd that had come out to watch, which included Han and Leia. Ben then pulled out his own lightsaber and pressed the ignition, his lightsaber, to some people's surprise was red. Of course, Han and Leia knew this, they had been there when Ben had first made it, he had told them that the red crystals often contained more power than the others, hence his choice, which they understood, but it didn't make watching him using it any less ominous.

The fight began with Ben making the first move, they blocked each other's strikes easily, and Leia thought she saw a grin on Ben's face as he started a new flurry of attacks, which were not so easily blocked by his opponent, it was beginning to be clear that Ben had the upper hand, not that that really had any calming effect on Leia or Han, who were watching with baited breath.

"Who trained you?!" Ben demanded, towering over the man who he had just thrown to the ground.

The man stumbled as he stood up and stuttered as he spoke, "P-p-please, he-he said he'd k-k-kill me if I d-d-didn't do this."

"I'm going to kill you if you don't tell me who sent you right now." Ben said angrily.

"It was s-s-Snoke." He said and the words made Ben's body visibly tense, he raised his hand to the man's head and he forced his consciousness into the back of his mind.

"Detain him, I'll interrogate him later." Ben commanded to a couple troops standing nearby.

Leia watched the crowd part for her son, whose face was dark and deep in thought, she pulled Han along with her as she followed Ben back into the hangar. Han watched how Leia looked after Ben, with desperate hope, it reminded him of when Luke's academy fell and they thought Ben was dead.

"Ben! Wait up!" Han called.

Ben stopped and Han and Leia could almost hear him roll his eyes in annoyance, when he turned to face his parents he was surprised to see that they were not angry, but concerned.

"Are you alright, he didn't hurt you did he?" Leia asked gently.

"I'm fine." He responded simply.

"Nice moves kid." Han said proudly, Ben did not indulge him with any facial expression.

Leia sighed, "Ben I-"

"You watched me with that prisoner didn't you?" He asked, a slight smirk playing on his lips, "What, did I scare you?" He asked, with a slight mocking tone.

"Ben..." Han started with a slightly angry tone. "Your mother just wants to understand."

"Well, I apologize in that case, but as I recall, you were the one who said you didn't want to know, what changed?" Ben asked.

Leia bit her lip as she thought of a response, and eventually she said, "Because I miss knowing you." She paused before continuing, "Ever since you came back from... from the academy you've been different, and I've never asked you what happened because you, well you seemed like you didn't want to talk to anyone, but it's been years and... I want to know." Leia said.

Ben simply stared at them for a few moments before saying, "Follow me."

He lead them down the long, seemingly endless hallways until they reached his quarters. They entered and Han, who had just been there that morning and often visited the room was no surprised by anything he saw, but Leia, who had never actually been in Ben's room was very surprised. There was nothing personal, not a single picture, and it was immaculate but clearly not because Ben was a neat person, but because nearly nothing in there had been used before.

Leia shouldn't have been so surprised, Ben was gone on missions all the time, and if the file on his coffee table was anything to go by, he was about to leave again.

"What's this?" Han asked, picking up the file.

Ben took it from his fathers hands and placed it back on the table, "My next assignment."

"Where to, somewhere nice I hope." Leia said, trying to make small talk.

"Jakku actually." Ben said while pouring three glasses of water, he then sat ridgedly in his chair across from his parents.

"Ben, you can relax, it's just us." Han said, which only managed to make Ben even more tense if that was possible.

"What is it you want to know?" Ben asked.

"What happened at the Jedi temple." Leia told him with conviction.

Ben sighed, but nodded, "I don't know how they knew where we were, but they came at us with nearly an army. It was completely unexpected, but yet the timing seemed... planned." Ben said, choosing his words very carefully.

"What do you mean?" Han asked.

"Well..." Ben trailed off apprehensively, but sighed and continued, "Luke was done training me, I was going to fly home the next morning and surprise you, but then... well, you know."

"What do you mean he was done training you?" Leia asked, "Did he appoint you as a Jedi Knight, or a master?"

"No." Ben said firmly, and slightly louder than necessary, "No," He started again softer, "I never had any intention of being a Jedi."

Leia's eyes widened in disbelief, while Han seemed unsurprised, "Why didn't you tell us that, we would have never-"

"Never what?" Ben interrupted, "Never sent me away to stay with someone I barely knew because you were afraid of me? Afraid of a 12 year old boy?" He stopped, "Afraid of your son?" He asked, his perfectly calm voice breaking with emotion for the first time in recent memory. "I never wanted to be a Jedi, it was no secret. If you had ever asked I would have told you."

Leia was stunned, she was sure what she was hearing was wrong, but yet as she searched her memory she could never recall asking him that question that was now echoing in her head. She looked up and made eye contact with her son, and she tried to look into his eyes, into them, not through them like she had done in the past. What she saw was sleepless nights, faint echos of an ominous voice, darkness, light, pain, so much pain, and then suddenly nothing, his open face shut again and Leia saw the all too familiar facade of nothingness.

"Ben, those nightmares you used to have as a kid... what were they?" Han asked.

Ben's jaw clenched and his shoulders tightened, for a moment his facade crumbled, but a moment was all it was as his cool exterior quickly replaced itself and his reply came, "A test of my patience, much like this conversation. Now, Generals if you'll excuse me I'm leaving for my assignment in six hours and would like some rest before I leave." He stood and waited for his parents to stand before escorting them to the door and shutting it behind them.