She was small, so small in his arms. The disguised king looked down at the young girl he held, breathing shallow and skin pasty white. The only colour on her seemed to be the blood redness leaking onto her clothes; it left a painful clawing in his chest.
please not her, don't take her .
"HIYA!" he urged Firecracker to run faster.
There were many failings he attributed to stupidity during his adolescence. Long before the worst respite against his father and much longer in the times after. But when he joined the avatar and his group, it was like he was finally fitting everything together; at least that was what he believed
Jerking the reins sharply, he steered the steed down another turn, rockier than the last. The horse snorted as it navigated the bumpy slope. He wanted to urge the horse to go faster, but it wouldn't do, far too easy to break the mustang's limbs.
Why hadn't it died, the anger? The impatience? The blindness?
"NIHHWHEHHEHEEHEHEH!" the stallion whinnied in alarm, tripping on one of the out crops. Everything lurched forward, and Zuko's breath caught as he moved to cover her before the crash.
Rock and sky tumbled in his view, dirt and spinning earth hitting his skull. The horse continued to snort and kick as it slid and rolled with them.
It was why Mai was gone; she had to pay for his mistakes.
He hit something compact and banged his head roughly against the oak trunk. The neighing calmed abruptly when the horse slid to a stop. Looking down at his captive, he was taken aback when she blinked groggily up at him.
"Toph?" there was more dirt clinging to her pearlescent face as she mumbled back.
"….uunnn, sparky?"
His reply was raspy and brimming with relief "Yeah, I'm here."
"Shoot… sparks…. you okay?."
"I'm fine, but you're-"
Halting in mid sentence, he felt warm sensation around his lower abdomen.
It was leaking, all the blood was soaking through her clothes into his.
Toph blinked slowly, grimacing, " ahhh…. am… I-"
" No! you're not dying on me!" Zuko cut her off sharply.
Gripping her frantically, he glanced at Firecracker, while Toph held on to the brink of consciousness. The black steed was lying on its belly, shifting in pain and snorting in attempt to rearrange the broken leg.
Coming to the most unfavourable conclusion, he set the semi conscious earth bender down.
"Toph, keep talking with me"
"…sure….thing," she replied as her seismic vision frayed.
" I'm going to have to close your wounds," he started stripping off her broken outer armour, the belt, the sash, and the leather abdomen shields.
He continued, fingers working madly at the straps, "The only way I can think of is burning it, so it is going to be painful."
"mmhh, that …..sucks"
Pulling out a dagger from his left boot, he cut open the sticky bloodied fabrics, and clenched his stomach from the sight. He pushed the clean part of her sash against the profusion of blood, but it wouldn't slow the flow that came from too many sources.
"Quit.. staring…" the earth bender was just realizing that she had been undressed.
Zuko didn't hear though, fear worst than anything before racked his mind. They were such small wounds, how did they bleed so much? Could he even stop it? Without killing her?
Reeling himself from backing out of the task, he ripped off a clean bit of his own sleeve and rolled it into a wad. He looked at the bender and thoughtI can't do this on my own, she needs to be able to hold on through it.
"Are… do you think… you can do this without falling unconscious?" You might not wake up if you do.
Slowly, she managed to smile lopsidedly, "…give me something …to chew on."
She was still smiling sleepily, and his heart ached terribly then. How could the words he needed to hear, both ease and tear at him so?
Putting the clean wad he held in his hands into her mouth and removing the ones against her skin, he concentrated on his hand.
"On three Toph, one, two, THREE!"
Flame burst into life and he pressed down. Toph's eyes flew open from the shock and she screamed through the fabric, her thin frame twisting under the searing heat.
He couldn't fail her now.
Rubbing the weariness from his eyes, he looked again at the injury; it made him wonder what is was he saw earlier that made him think it was broken. Firecracker seemed to approve and snorted contentedly as he shifted his newly splinted leg to a more comfortable position. The stallion's leg had not been broken, maybe lightly fractured; most of the damage was due to a nasty twist in the ankle. Even so, he was right in guessing that Firecracker couldn't carry any weight, and he hoped that it wouldn't be permanent.
The horse was, best put, special in all senses. Even its arrival within the palace caused a ruckus; sent to him as a surprise birthday gift last year. It took ten men and several trampled bystanders to quell the beast from rampaging through the court. Zuko still has no idea how his uncle tamed the beast in his travels either. He certainly didn't win the stallion's heart in a day, or in a week, or for numerous months after. Still, they were rare animals, revered as god incarnates by the isolated tribes who lived with them. The tundra of the Earth Kingdom just wasn't a forgiving home and their low numbers were a result of that. So when Iroh gained firecracker's favour, it was surprising that the northern tribe actually agreed to treat outsiders on speaking terms, much less part with a god.
Zuko scratched the stallion's ears, it saddened him to have to leave such a proud creature behind. Putting a blanket on him, he patted the horse and gave him a carrot, for now the three of them would rest.
The fire lord then walked around the flame he built and sat beside the sleeping girl, someone else that he cared greatly for. The burning was very hard to do; he found for the first time that he couldn't stomach the smell of charred flesh that he inflicted. He couldn't imagine the kind of pain Toph went through for that. Its not that he doesn`t know the pains of being burned, his father's and sister's mark were vivid memories. But he didn't have to endure each of them at the same time, or repeatedly. There were three projectiles that made it through Toph's abdomen; she managed to twist and curse through the burning of each, finally falling to sleep as he bandaged his work. Yet she was still here, bound to earth, with a face that betrayed no hardships experienced.
Despite that, Zuko still wished he could give more to the brave girl; she'd already given him enough to last many lifetimes. He looked at her face again, brushing away a missed speck of dirt that clung to her lashes, pressed against her cheeks. For someone always covered in a 'healthy coat of dirt' she always seemed to look like a glass doll. How she did that was beyond him, how she did a lot of things were.
Like what she managed to do for him most recently, give him strength when he was certain that she was in most need of it. How she slowly but surely pulled him out of that begotten trench of despair when his wife died.
How she was there for his daughter when he should have been.
Zuko screwed his eyes shut, and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
No no, stop wasting your time on something like this, concentrate! You need to find a way down this mountain without causing her more injury, to get to a proper doctor!
He was startled from his mental warfare when the girl beside him stirred, turning a bit, and then suddenly stopping with a grunt of pain.
Immediately placing a hand on her shoulders, he spoke to her, "hey, don't move too much, you're still burned."
Toph glared with her unfocused eyes in his general direction and croaked dryly, "yeah, well I could kinda tell from the pain sunshine"
"That doesn't change what I said,"
At this Toph raised both her arms up, albeit painfully, "Well pull me up Sparky, I want food, god I'm famished"
"And you're suppose to have a better sense of hearing, I told you to stay still" Zuko reprimanded her, pushing both of her slender limbs back down. The king wasn't sure how this would affect her recovery.
She grumbled back, "But I'M HUNGRY, how the hell do I eat if I can't sit up?"
"Then you won't eat, if you can't get up without pain, you're better off sleeping Toph. You might not-" he was rambling he knew it, but he didn't want her to over exert herself after the battle that she's already fought.
"-since we don't even know wha-"
"Zuko, feed me."
"What?"
"FEED me"
Firecracker snorted loudly, Zuko was probably crazy because he swore it sounded like laughing. He almost laughed as well at the mental image that comment induced: that of a certain obnoxious snot picking kid.
"The Fire lord, making food like a palace servant, to feed a dirty brat?"
"Hey, you are the one who said I shouldn't move, but I want food, so you're gonna have to feed me if I have to stay laying down, Fire lord."
Then there was an audible sound of her stomach grumbling, which prompted him to decide that she really wasn't lying. "Fine, I'll get some food for you Toph, wait a few moments and DON'T MOVE"
"yea yea sugar queen" she said with a fake pleasant smile, and Zuko just shook his head, now it was Katara's nick name on his list?
"You know I'm the one feeding you, shouldn't you reconsider that name?"
"Naahh, with the way you're treating me now, it's perfect!" Zuko just scowled, yet it was a happy scowl for him, she was feeling well enough to have her sense of humour.
As he dug through their supplies to make some stew, Toph looked at Zuko's back, her eyes distant. Something was up, Zuko was definitely tense, he still was but her simple jabs relieved a bit of that stress. Was he blaming himself for her injury? She didn't like the idea if he was, except he had a tendency to take failure personally; even when it wasn't really a failure. Unless, maybe it was… no it can't be something like seeing me naked,she didn't want to think about something so uncomfortable for now.
"What do you want in your stew Toph?"
"I never said I wanted stew Sugar Queen"
"Vegetable it is,"
"What! Sparks! What are you trying to do, starve me?"
Zuko just smirked back, "We agreed that I'd feed you. Not on what you'd eat."
"Never mind, you're worse than my mom"
Zuko just chuckled and stirred the pot, the scam, he never had any intention of letting her decide.
Ladling some of the stuff into a bowl, Toph had to concede it did smell good. "Alright Toph ," as he kneeled down he propped her head up a bit against a makeshift pillow, "open up." She did obediently and enjoyed the food that came. Zuko blew on each spoonful before giving it to Toph. Normally the bender would be irked at that kind of gesture, but her stomach took priority then and Zuko's cooking was actually pretty good.
"mmmm, Zuko?" she mumbled as he started cleaning after the light meal
"Yeah Toph?"
"I still want to sit up,"
"You should be resting"
"I can rest sitting up, really, and I like talking without having a kink in my neck"
The fire bender just looked at her sternly, she continued, "I'm gonna have to get up at some point, so there's no use in treating me like porcelain". She hadn't said anything about his molly coddling earlier, but she wasn't about to accept that forever.
"It's late Toph, now would be a good time to call it a night."
"I am not going to sleep while you prowl around like a catowl on catnip," she accused by pointing in his direction.
Zuko blinked at the odd comment, was she saying he was high? "Where did that come from?"
Deciding that cut to it, she replied, "I'm might be injured, and moving does hurt, but my head is fine Sparky. What I can feel from you though is a lot of stress. So you might as well spill it, or neither of us are gonna get any sleep tonight."
Zuko stiffened as he looked at the earth bender, sometimes her all seeing earth bending was more trouble than what it was worth. There was no way he could discuss about what was on his mind, so he replied resolutely, " No Toph really, its fine, you should go to sleep."
Suddenly snarling, Zuko heard her shift as she tried to push herself up.
"Damn it Toph!" He dropped the utensils to get to her side, only for her to slam a fist into the ground, causing a mini pillar to erupt violently from the earth right into his abdomen. Wheezing from the sudden loss of wind, he heard her grunt in pain as she finally rested her back on the oak trunk.
"Shut it Zuko, if you won't help me up, fine, but don't go and try to keep me down,"
Growling in anger towards the Bei Fong, "I'm not doing anything of such Toph, this is for your own good, and you need rest!"
"I'll decide that for myself. So you have to stop changing the subject. What are you feeling so angsty about?"
Gaining some air again, zuko pushed himself up, "I told you it's nothing, now I'm putting you to bed." It was just his worries and thoughts getting more out of hand and farfetched than usual, nothing important.
"Zuko… why are you lying?" there was a touch of hurt and anger in her voice that brought him to a stop. Her eyes looked frustrated and upset, like someone slapped her hard and ran away before she could get a piece out of them.
The lithe woman then crossed her arms and looked at him in the direction she guessed to be his eyes, she long ago learned that it did the trick for some reason. "Just tell me, I've always listened to you sparks, has anything bad ever happened just because of talk?" The words cut true as a knife, she was right of course; this was just not the time.
"I'm not lying Toph."
She abruptly reached up grabbed his collar and yanked him down to her level, "Yes you are, your heartbeats are entirely erratic! Look I know I'm scary but I ain't gonna bite you!"
Zuko went silent from her action. She was a little too close for his liking and he could see the fight in her expression, it was drilling into him.
Feeling her superior's beating turn aggravated, she pulled him closer and reiterated authoritatively "Tell me what it is already, because you're crazy if you decided to stop trusting me now."
The king let out a breath he was holding, forcing his heart to calm. Damn this is going the wrong way,"Its nothing like that." Then he crouched as she let go and sat in more comfortable position in front of her.
"Sealing your wounds just really rattled me Toph, it hasn't stopped," which wasn't entirely false.
Toph frown at him, "Okay, sure... the thing is I'm fine right now, I think you did a good job of it."
"You're not FINE! You're still injured on the inside! Why do you think it hurts to move?" he said with unexpected vehemence. The blind bandit would've jumped if she could. Zuko continued though, scratching his hair in irritation, "It shouldn't have come to that though. That fight wasn't supposed to happen, you weren't supposed to get injured like that."
Toph looked sad; he really was blaming himself for all of this, so she did what she always did when this happened.
"Zuko, since when could you predict assassination attempts?"
The head of the fire nation government twisted uncomfortably, "that wasn't an assassination attempt, I should have-".
"Yes, an armed band of killers, wielding the fastest weapons we've ever seen, all aiming for the head of the fire nation. Nooo they aren't assassins at all! They're your band of traveling mercenaries, who decided that just for giggles, they'd ambush 2 lone travellers-"
"…alright FINE, I get it," he interrupted before she ranted further about his assumptions.
She shrugged, "Just saying. We both came into the mission knowing the threats, so please stop trying to shoulder some nonsensical blame. It ain't there, I made the choice to fight with you so I'm responsible for my own safety."
"Then I'm the sorry one for agreeing to that Toph."
"Don't be," she said pointedly "I don't know what kind of responsibility scheme you've made in your head again Sparky, but you know I won't let anyone, not even you, coddle or protect me. If I get hurt- it's my own fault."
"You almost diedToph! That was not JUST an injury! Especially when youare the one who stepped in the way to protect ME!" Zuko shouted harshly at her.
"Well what did you EXPECT? That I let them make you into target practice! ? Who's the one who can metal bend here?" she shouted back at the agitated man.
He suddenly grabbed her by the shoulder and pushed her roughly against the tree, eliciting more pain across her abdomen and back.
"No Toph, taking my place in their path of fire was not better! Even if you are the most accomplished earth bender in the world, there was no way you could stop all of those projectiles by yourself! " Toph was about to return when he continued, "but this wasn't all your fault, it was mine because I didn't think it through, I misjudged my enemies. I never thought they'd pull out an ace like they did.! You might have chosen to help me, but if I never involved you, never requested that you come with me, this wouldn't have happened.!"
Toph was silenced by that, she could feel the thudding of Zuko's heart flutter painfully.
There was an uncomfortable silence as he released Toph's arms, but he rested his right hand on her cheek, "I absolutely don't want to lose you too because of this cold war".
The young woman shivered slightly from his touch, his hand was very warm. She ignored that sensation and took his hand in hers instead to look in his direction with sightless eyes.
"If I didn't come with you, how sure are you that you would have gotten out of that scrap alive?"
She then promptly covered his mouth before he could retaliate like she knows he would, "Lemme finish. I get what you are hung up on though, and we could argue that forever, but you know that would be pointless. Fact is I'm here and I'm not leaving you, no amount of regretting will change that. But I do understand why you're upset,"
He rolled her words in his head again and took off her hand to reply grimly, "it's just… I want you out of this situation now, I don't want you to face the same kind of danger again."
"You think I would?"
Zuko death glared at her, and Toph then smirked to his chagrin.
"oh come on zuko, honestly, if this happened when we were younger, I'd probably tell you that you're being stupid." Then she softened, "But I know it's just part of what you are Zuko, it is okay to worry. I'm blind and can't see anything; I can only judge my opponents by stances and heartbeats. Put me up for a one on one against Azula-,"
"-I'm never letting you fight alone against Azula" he injected upset.
"- hey hey! Talking here!" to which Zuko rolled his eyes at, and Toph ignored to keep talking. " Anyways, I don't think I'd get out of a fight against your fruitloop sister whole. For me today, it's the same as the time you took a risk against Azula's lightening -which is a stupid stupid thing to do. And I'm sorry… for also doing something as stupid as that, and almost dying. I just acted on instinct when it happened- and it just seems this time- my instinct was wrong."
Zuko felt a bit mixed about that. "Toph…you didn't have to apologize... but ...shit- there's no way either of us can guarantee it won't happen again."
She rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly, "no we can't, but that's not the point I'm harping at, I just don't want you alone in this blame game -"
The blue sprit thought otherwise, the earth bender was painfully bad at apologizing to any one for her actions, and he wasn't even asking for one.
"It is not all doom and gloom, really. You are the reason that I am alive, you stopped me from dying. Because of that, we can still watch each other's back. So it's okay, because that is what's most important." Then she let go of his hand and opened her arms wide, "so wadya say? Hugs to make the angsting better?"
Zuko just stared for a second, not entirely willing to reply to that. He wasn't feeling great right then, but her words as usual, refused to let him feel crappy. They were comforting in a strange roundabout way. He really did want to hug her, but some part of him was afraid, because if he did this time- he's not sure if he'll ever let go.
He recognized some of these feelings though, and it hit like a ton of bricks with whom.
It was when Mai was still alive.
Toph waved her hands a bit for emphasis, Zuko just kind of froze and zoned out for some reason.
"uhhnn hello? Sparky?" dropping her arms slightly in disappointment, she harrumphed. Even when she went out of her way to not punch him, he still manages to be an idiot at the worst time. "Well your loss Zuko! Lots of people would've paid for that!" So she was surprised when strong arms suddenly wrapped around her and let out an eep. Turning up curiously at his brash manner, she felt his heart beat against his chest as he rested his temple on her head.
"I'm the fire lord Toph, I wouldn't take something for free," she felt him smile into her hair, "it's much more valuable if I could steal it."
"Really?" she replied shakily. For once that was all she could come up with; if she didn't know it Zuko seemed suddenly a lot more relaxed than before.
"Yeah, really"
It was just like what she said, the important things were right here.
AN: another revision of sorts,gods i'm never gonna finish editing this onesy X(