Title: The Long Journey

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis. Stargate Atlantis owns me.

Pairing: John/Elizabeth

Spoilers: Adrift, Lifeline

Summary: Elizabeth escapes Replicators and certain death with the help of an ascended Ancient. But ascension for her is only the beginning… and going back where she really belongs might be the most difficult challenge she ever experienced.

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Chapter One

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Elizabeth gazed out her window, silently staring at the amazing sight. The sun had just gone down. The sky was getting darker. She could already see the first evening stars appearing. The striking resemblance with the real Atlantis was remarkable. A perfect replica... If she didn't know better, she'd swear she was home, safe and sound.

But she wasn't.

Elizabeth wasn't sure of exactly how much time had passed since her team's getaway, but if the Replicators had taken them, she would already know. But she hadn't heard anything, or seen anything. She was all alone, in a sealed room, wondering what would be her fate.

"Go!" She screamed as the Replicators surrounded her, as Ronon dragged Sheppard away. The look in his eyes was branded on her memory. She knew that look. It meant that he would do the impossible to bring her back.

But she didn't dare hope for it. Atlantis was too vulnerable at the moment.. And even if she was saved, there was still a good chance that she'd be considered compromised and relieved of her duties as expedition leader… she was half a machine, now…

Suddenly the door was opened, but Elizabeth didn't turn to face the newcomers.

"Doctor Weir," said Oberoth, entering the room with two other Replicators flanking him. "I thought you would be pleased to know that your team, unfortunately, managed to escape my soldiers."

Elizabeth couldn't help but show her relief, and she turned to face him with a smile. "Indeed I am, Oberoth" said Elizabeth, her smile slowly dissipating. "Why am I here? I thought I was a prisoner."

"Yes, you are. Don't be misled by your accommodations. You are heavily watched, inside and outside this room. You're much too important."

"And you're wasting your time. I won't tell you anything. I actually don't know anything. Atlantis left Lantea, and I'm not informed of her current location."

"Don't underestimate yourself, Doctor Weir. And don't underestimate me. The knowledge you have of this galaxy as well as your own can be useful."

"I won't be responsible for the destruction of my people."

"You are part Replicator now. That makes us your people as well."

"Go to hell, Oberoth. I'll never help you."

Oberoth sighed. "I was afraid it would come to this.. And since you've been so persistent with resisting out merges, I'm eager to try something new." He held up a small glowing crystal.

Elizabeth frowned, but before she could say anything, Oberoth touched the object with his other hand and the glowing stopped. A second after, Elizabeth's knees buckled and she hit the floor. Pain radiated from every nerve in her body and she tasted blood in her mouth. Breathing was becoming harder and harder…

Oberoth touched the crystal again and Elizabeth gasped for air like a diver hitting the surface. She coughed a few times, caught her breath, and summoned up the strength to look at Oberoth in the eyes.

"This little crystal is what is keeping you alive, Dr. Weir. It controls the nanites in your body. You just experienced what lies ahead for you if I decided to turn it off permanently."

" I won't tell you anything, Oberoth," whispered Elizabeth, still on the floor.

"I suggest you reflect on my offer, Doctor Weir. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

They turned to leave and as soon as the door slid shut, and she was alone once again, Elizabeth crawled to the bed and rested her head on the mattress.

She breathed deeply, trying to calm down, as the tears threatened to overtake her. Her team was safe. Atlantis was safe. It was all that mattered.

As this final thought fueled her, Elizabeth managed to stand up and make her way to the window again.

Oberoth thought she would be broken. Again, he underestimated her.

And then Elizabeth lost count of the days.

It wasn't important anymore. Day in and day out Oberoth would come posing the same question, and when Elizabeth would resist, he'd take out the crystal and watch her writhing at his feet, his face a stone wall. The most important thing for Elizabeth became resisting the pain, but her own body was betraying her. It was unable to cope with the damage the nanites were inflicting her. Even when the torture stopped, the pain never left her. But she clung to the thought of Atlantis, safe and intact somewhere out there in the galaxy, and that was all that mattered because by now, she knew that if Sheppard was unable to save her, she would die there, but would she be damned if she gave those machines what they wanted.

It was on a night where she was lying at the foot of her bed (she almost made it to the mattress but not quite, almost), turned on one side as it helped her breathing, that she

felt a hand on her head, gently stroking her hair. Elizabeth slowly opened her eyes, and found herself looking at a woman with long red hair.

"I admire your courage, Elizabeth. I know very well myself what it's like to give up everything for the safety of Atlantis."

"Oberoth sent you?"

"Not exactly. His actions made me decide to come," the woman said, smiling kindly, still stroking Elizabeth's hair. "You don't have much time left."

"I will gladly die than say anything."

"Death it's only the beginning of the journey, my dear. You'll understand everything when it's the right time."

Elizabeth closed her eyes and concentrated on her breathing once again. Each breath was an effort, coming in sharp gasps. The woman slid her hand down to Elizabeth's chest and the pain disappeared from her body.

"Soon, Elizabeth," the woman whispered as she watched Elizabeth drift into a long-needed peaceful sleep. "Soon, everything will be clear."

When she woke up, Elizabeth thought she dreamt the mysterious woman. But she felt better, and in the following days she kept seeing her. She eased her pain, and tried to teach her how to escape the torture with her mind. She kept repeating, "You have to sever the mind from the body and the pain will have no effect. It is the only way to survive."

Elizabeth tried her best, but the torture was more frequent and the pain lasted longer.

Oberoth was growing more impatient every day. Weeks passed, and he still had nothing in his hands. He finally admitted defeat. And as much as he hated arriving at this conclusion, Elizabeth forced his hand.

So the next time he paid her a visit, he gave the order not to revive her if her vital functions were to fail. If she was so adamant about not telling him what he needed to know, then he had no interest in keeping her alive any longer.

Oberoth told Doctor Weir these exact words, but the only response this gauged was a simple nod from Elizabeth. A fighter to the end.

"You brought this on yourself", he said, and gave order to switch off the nanites.

Elizabeth felt life fading away. She tried to keep her mind separated from her now dying body, and surprisingly enough it was much simpler this time. The pain, the fear… somehow they didn't matter anymore.

As blackness began to surround her, she was just vaguely aware of the Replicators screaming around her bed. She wondered why, but soon the answer to that question ceased to be important.

Then she found herself in the Gate Room of Atlantis. But she was all alone. Before Elizabeth could call out, a voice interrupted her.

"They are not here," said Makaria, standing near the Stargate. "In fact, we are not in the real Atlantis. I just thought you would be more comfortable in a familiar place."

"Why? Who are you?" said Elizabeth, walking down the stairs to reach the woman.

Makaria smiled, "Elizabeth, you disappoint me. I thought you figured it out by now."

It was then that Elizabeth realized this wasn't first time she had heard that name. Of all the times this woman helped her free herself from Oberoth's torture, it was only now that Elizabeth realized she had had seen her face sometime long ago. Here eyes widened slightly… Makaria. Historian, diplomat, daughter of the second to last Chancellor of Atlantis. And she was smiling politely in front of her.

That would mean that she was…

"An ascended being? Yes, I am. And now so are you."

"But that's impossible. I never followed the path to ascension."

"You followed my advice. I was trying to teach you how to ascend without interfering with your condition. The fact that you were dying simplified the process."

"Then I want to go back. Send me back to Atlantis."

"I'm sorry, you can't."

"Ascended beings can regain human form if that is their wish."

"True. But they have to experience ascended life first. After a while, they can decide to go back, if that is what they really want. But I think you'll find your new life as good and rewarding as your previous one."

"You cannot force me."

"It's not my intention to do such thing. I'm just asking to give a chance to this life."

"And then you'll let me go back."

"I promise. If this still will be your wish."

"I won't change my mind."

Makaria hid a smile. That conversation was bringing back the memories of the day she ascended. That day she was at Elizabeth's place, standing where she was now, saying the same words to her Ancient mentor, with the same tone. She considered it a good omen.

Makaria smiled, signifying a change of subject. She led Elizabeth through the empty hallways of the Atlantis in Elizabeth's mind, explaining to the rules of ascended life. Soon other ascended Ancients began to appear, going about their business, nodding politely to acknowledge the presence of the newcomer. Makaria was pleased by the look on Elizabeth's face: it was recognition and awe mixed with genuine excitement.. She could tell the merely being in their presence was a dream coming true.

She was starting to understand, perhaps. A chance to live with the Ancients could be an invaluable opportunity to have all her questions answered about Ancients, Atlantis, and so much more… Makaria came to love Elizabeth's pragmatism in the years spent watching over her, and she knew what the woman was thinking right now: if she couldn't go back to Atlantis, then she would make the most of her incredible experience.

And so Makaria left her.

As soon as she was alone again, Elizabeth walked to the balcony, her balcony, and gripped the railing like she often did on her many talks with Sheppard. The wind blew her hair around and she shut her eyes.

She could almost see him there, alone at night, looking at the stars… She didn't know what the new planet looked like, but for some reason she liked the idea of multiple moons in the sky of Atlantis' new home…

She let her hands slide down the banister as she heard Makaria's voice calling her name, interrupting her daydream.

Maybe it was just a fantasy now, but one day, Elizabeth promised herself while she walked away, it wouldn't be anymore.

At the same moment in Atlantis, John was looking at the two moons in the sky. The new stars were a pleasant calming sight as well. Elizabeth would have loved them.. And she will, he promised to himself. Because he couldn't let himself believe otherwise. He gripped the banister.

"Sheppard? This is McKay, come in."

John shook his head, tapping his ear piece.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." He started walking towards McKay's lab.

Elizabeth wasn't on that balcony, but he knew exactly where he would find her, because she came to him every since he left her on the Asuran homeworld.

In his nightmares.