Summary: At the point of breakdown, all young Gokudera could do was apologize. 5927, Gokudera x Tsuna. Read and review!
A/N: I'm back with a 5927 story. As you read this, please imagine yourself in Tsuna's position—waking up in a coffin with the faith of the whole family in your hand when you're only a middle school student, whose grades don't pass off as a genius, trying to live a normal life.
Pairing: Gokudera x Tsuna
Warning/s: A wee bit of OOC, a bit of bad writing—early apologies!
Disclaimer: I wish I could own these boys.
I'm Sorry
Ten years into the future, both lost and very much afraid of what might happen—whether it was getting through the whole ordeal or failing at some point, Tsuna knew that everything depended on him. Every life—both future and past (present) all came down to a boy who wished nothing more but for a normal life. For normal friends. For normal events. Not some baby who randomly appears with announcements of being the next in line mafia boss. Not some battle for some silly rings. And certainly not some bazooka that shoots a person in the next decade of their life (only to wake up in coffin.) All Tsuna ever wanted was the normalcy of a mafia-less life.
But during these circumstances, he knew—the whole world knew that there was nothing he or anyone else could do. It was there, it already happened. There were no more chances for any change. No more room for mistakes, a human impossibility.
Yet what they needed was not a human, rather, what they needed their boss—which only, they believed, young Tsunayoshi could provide as the Vongola Tenth.
"Why me…?" The said boy muffled onto the pillow he had held onto tightly as he sat on the cold floor of his room. "Why me…?" He repeated once more, burying the whole of his face into the soft plush as he realized that it was only two nights before the infiltration.
Indeed, why was Tsuna the one chosen to be the boss? Why did he have to act as the boss—why did he die because he was the boss? Has he done something wrong? Had he lived a sinful life? Were his mistakes the cause of these circumstances? Tsuna did not know, he did not want to know.
He just wanted to be normal.
"Why me?" The young brunet, not even beyond the age of fifteen, soon found tears at the brink of falling from his innocent eyes.
Pressure—too much of it was placed on his shoulders. And no one, not even Reborn nor Kyoko, could lift even just a tiny bit of it away.
Tsuna whimpered onto his tear stained pillow just as steps resounded his vicinities. Familiar taps, they were. And it was obvious—it was a person. Anyone could tell, even a crying boy.
"T—tenth?" The said person spoke in a questioned tone as he cast his gaze down onto the broken brunet.
Tsuna, in turn, did not reply—not even a single utter of a word while he looked up to meet the other's greenish-gray orbs, revealing not only his own reddened eyes but also the tears that continually cascaded down his worn down face.
"Gokudera…?" The boy managed to speak, taking a little more effort than usual.
"Tenth!?" The latter male stiffened in his spot, witnessing the state that his boss was in. So weak, so helpless—this lad that sat before Gokudera was no more than a child caught in the spiral of mafia life. "I… uh… was just passing by… and… heard you…" The white haired teen attempted reason out as Tsuna continued to stare at him, prying for other answers. "And… the door… was open… so…" He had trailed off.
Again, Sawada Tsunayoshi did not answer as he turned back to bury his head onto the unforgotten pillow that rested in his hold. Thus, once again, released the anguish that the boy's heart and body kept… and all Gokudera Hayato could do was watch him helplessly—uselessly.
"…Tenth…" The standing one of the two voiced out, reaching his hand out towards the other. "I…"
"Why me…?" Tsuna finally spoke, pulling his pillow closer to his face. No longer did he care of anyone witnessing such event.
At this, Gokudera was at a lost even more than he was before the sight. Tsuna was crying… he, as the right hand man (self proclaimed and all), could not find it in himself to speak of anything anymore. He does not know what he could do or could have done to stop the brunet from crying.
But he would so anything—everything just to stop it.
He wanted to see Tsuna smile.
"What did I do…?" The young Vongola Tenth whimpered. "I was… I tried to be a good kid… I tried to my best to be a good kid…" He hiccupped as Gokudera watched from where he was.
He could not take it, watching his boss break down. Watching him lose to his fear. But he knew it was not Tsuna's fault for this disposition. He also knew that the lad before him never wanted any involvement, any struggle—especially when he had already struggled his way through school.
The white teen frowned as his knuckles turned white from his fists that tightened all the while Tsuna had expressed his deepest emotions. He was afraid, like him. They all were. Anyone would've been.
A word or anything at all would have been helpful. Rather, might have.
"I—it…" The Storm Guardian choked out. "Everything's… gonna…be okay."
Tsuna frowned; face still hidden deep into the pillow. "When I first got here, I woke up in a coffin." He mumbled through. "I saw you… the adult you… you said I, in this era, was dead." The latter teen listened carefully. "I have no future! How can everything be okay?!" The Vongola Tenth yelled. "And then you arrive, then the others! And then suddenly it's up to me to save everyone! Me! The useless guy! How can it be okay?!" The smaller one's words emphasized on each and every syllable he had managed to draw out. "Me, useless Tsuna. No good Tsuna. The mafia boss…" He continued, not caring about the damp fabric that covered his face.
Gokudera swallowed for the worst—the Tenth almost implied that he was a burden. "T—tenth…" He decided to call as his hand reached out while his feet took heavy steps onto the cold, cold floor.
"Everyone…" Tsuna sniffed. "All your lives depend on me… and I…" The brunet trailed off for a short gasp of air. "I'm scared… that because of me… you're all gonna die." He confessed with the most of his withering strength.
Gokudera's eyes widened. "Tsuna…?" He spoke, calling the latter by his given name for the very first time as he found himself falling weakly onto his knees right beside his boss—no, in that state, Sawada Tsunayoshi was not a boss. In that state, he was a human whom everyone turned to when everything in the mafia world seemed to have ended. And yet, even to his disliking, the boy accepted it… in order to protect those that are dear to him.
Shaking, the brunet spoke, "I'm… scared."
The white teen frowned as his eyes disappeared beneath his bangs. "I know, Tsuna…" Gokudera Hayato croaked out as he pulled the other into his arms. He was hoping that this gesture could help… in any sort of way.
"I'm scared…! Why me…?!" Tsuna still muffled onto the pillow as he felt himself lean onto his companion's chest. "…so scared…" His voice cracked as he cried. And cried. And cried.
No words were spoken nor were even thought of as the young brunet continued to sob in his guardian's arms—leaving Gokudera to hold onto the boy tighter for comfort. His lips were set in a thin line as Tsuna kept speaking—mumbling.
"I hate this…" The younger lad spoke, his voice still a little croaked up. "I can't handle this." These words continued to flow out and still no comforting phrases to rebuke them. At least, not yet.
At a point of loss and uncertainty, words are the best reassurance one has, and the Storm Guardian had to find the right ones to say.
Soon enough, he brightened with no smile, an idea crept into his mind, finding what is seemingly comforting, though they were not the best to speak of at the moment, they were the closest and Gokudera found them—fortunately in the right timing.
"Tsuna…" He started. But, amidst Tsuna's desperation for comfort and rants, what came out—instead of, I'm here, it's going to be alright… was, "I'm sorry."
The End
A/N: I suck, I'm SO sorry. But I suck—this did not come out as I hoped it to be. But if you liked it, thank you. Also, please vote on my profile page as to what I'll write next.
