I Should Have Told You.
By Devan Starr
I wish I could have told you. I should have.
Maybe it was because I couldn't find the words,
Maybe it was because I was afraid.
Afraid of how you'd react, of what you'd say.
Maybe I was just afraid of myself.
All my life I took care of only me,
and built a wall to hide my heart.
But you found a way.
A way to bring that wall down.
You were my best friend.
We did everything together.
Laughed, Cried.
Shared our most intimate secrets.
But I kept one from you, one secret.
The one secret I should have revealed to you.
But now it's too late.
They would have been afraid of you.
Would have shunned you because of how you look.
I know what that's like.
To be feared and hated just for being different.
Maybe that's why we were so close.
You look past my eyes, past my skin.
Into my heart.
You saw me for who I was, not for the color of my eyes.
You saw me as a friend, not as a thing.
Not something to be hated and ridiculed.
I had no home, until we found each other.
But now it's too late.
I should have told you, but i didn't.
Now as I sit here beside you.
You're cold hands in mine.
It's far too late.
You look so peaceful.
I wish I knew what that was like.
I'll never know peace again.
Because you're gone, and not coming back.
And I should have told you I loved you...