When Charlie finally found her, she was hunched over reading a book by candlelight. It was a distinctly un-Nora-like posture and Charlie quickly crossed the room to sit beside her on the bed. The green wool blanket bunched unevenly beneath them on a sagging twin mattress.
"You're going to miss Jason's famous chili," Charlie said. Jason's chili was based on the theory that any foods, no matter their original contents or age, could be successfully combined if diced small and cooked with an unholy amount of onions. It was a camp joke and made the compound smell worse than it already did, but they let him make it and grudgingly ate it when supplies ran low.
"If you're going to miss a meal, that's the one to miss," Nora answered. Her eyes were downcast and her hands scrambled to hide the now closed book.
"What are you reading?"
"Poetry."
"Why?"
"A friend gave it to me."
Charlie let the words sit to see if more of the story would follow. Trading books of poetry was definitely not a regular hobby in the rebel camp. This volume had a well-worn cover and she could spot several dog-eared pages. When Nora didn't continue on, Charlie leaned in, bumping her friend shoulder to shoulder and trying to catch her eye. "Details please."
"You really want to know?"
Charlie nodded.
"Sarah, my girlfriend at the time, gave it to me. She rescued me from myself."
Charlie struggled to keep her expression neutral. "Oh."
"Yeah. Oh."
"Your girlfriend? I thought you and Miles..."
Nora exhaled sharply and cut her off. "Your uncle is amazing in bed, lousy in a relationship. He's proven that before and for some stupid reason I'm setting it up so he can prove it again."
"Oh," Charlie said again. She didn't know how to be on this side of this kind of conversation. Usually she complained about Jason stalking her and Nora listened, occasionally interjecting advice like "then stop tossing him scraps and he'll go away."
They listened to the cicadas chirp for several long minutes before Charlie tried to push forward again. "So how do Sarah and poetry work into whatever is going on with Miles?"
"They're the opposite of it. This reminds me of what I had, of what I want. Mission first, right? But sometimes I miss being loved and the choices I'm making now aren't going to get me what I want." She quickly flipped to the inside cover of the book and read what was written on the end paper.
"Kiss me again and again, for your love is sweeter than wine. How fragrant your cologne, and how pleasing your name. No wonder all the young women love you. How beautiful you are, my beloved, how beautiful. - Love, Sarah (by way of the Song of Solomon)
"That," Nora said. "That is what I want. And since it's not available, I'm settling for hard fucking on dirty floors. I can't see Miles even reading that aloud, much less writing it in the front of a gift. Can you?"
"I see your problem," Charlie said. "Wrong Matheson."
Nora finally looked up to see her friend's blue eyes sparkling in the candlelight. Charlie's smile was so wide it seemed impossible her lips would move into shape for a kiss before they met Nora's, but they did. It was a dry first peck, nothing to set records, but Charlie couldn't hold back her delighted giggles as her hand came up to caress Nora's cheek. It was softer and smoother than a boy's, and as their first kiss became their second she noted it was more like a delicate exchange than a wrestle for dominance or logs roughly thrown on a fire. She tried to run her fingers through Nora's hair but it was pinned up as always. She settled for twirling the loose tendrils at the front around her fingers.
Nora responded to her kisses, but her hands didn't move and she didn't lean into it. Her breaths came quickly and her eyes blew open wide as Charlie pulled away from her.
"Oh."