There are things in your life you really don't want to lose. Things or people, it's doesn't matter. For most people, the worst thing to lose is their so precious reputation or their social life. They can stay freeze in their so good thinking society, how keeps them to really feel the love! But, for other, there is their money. Who only think about themselves? Well, it's them. They think it's a good thing to give a lot of money, to seem kind to people in misery, but rare are the person who really receive the money. Come on, so some real kindness never kills some one... In priori. Or yet, for some other, it's the glory and the glamour, or certain are totally scared the hell out of them of being all alone, to not have folks to talk to. But for a big number of person on this planet, it's the drugs.

For me, there no such thing in all these crap. I mean my reputation for where I came from, it's never really have bother me, where I came from it was already set for me. I was the little sister of my brothers, a piece of shit, and a no potential. Then, in this so good society, the opinion they have form me, I don't freaking care. At least, I got my family, that's all the matters. My capital? The family of my husband is loaded since God knows when… It's doesn't mean my life is more beautiful. It's all the opposite... For the glory, I live better without. I never loved the attention on me. So, yeah I don't like the glory. For the loneliness, I barely have time for me and my husband with two little boyf of 6 and 3 years old. When I got the occasion, I love being alone. As for the drugs. I take them, I don't have any choise. I can ear you say : « What she doesn't have a choise? It's make no sense, we choose if we want to take them or not!" Well, let me tell you something, if I could have chose, I would have take something better than drugs, like alcohol or coffee. But the doctors say it's help me to fight the illness I got, which gains ground little by little.

All this, all these things are useless to my life if I don't got this little thing. The most important thing in my life it's the time. It's the only thing I'm really scared to death to lose. I hold on every little minute, every little second who remains to me with my one little family. My time, which I know how to count meticulously by the specialists, escapes me, run and moves away from me, in a running which I know that I lose more and more. My husbands have bought me some times, some years ago, by pure selfish need not to lose me. I'm without any reservations the most important thing in all his life. He's more scared of losing me, than being addicted to this Power of him and his friends got. I'm scared that I won't have the time to see my sons grew up and become men. I'm scared that I'll not be able to finally see my brothers be happy; to just can't any more be, simply. I begging to run without time, I feel it, I know it. Everybody deny it, do like they don't understand, but I'm dying and neither anything nor nobody can help me.

I'm scared, I'm so much scared of dying, but I can't do anything. All I can do now its hope, hope to live long enough to see the birthday of my oldest in two months. I've never ask for anything, or at least little, now I'm begging God, anyone, to live a little while longer, just a little bit longer...