Maybe: The Real Score
cienne zoeldyck
DISCLAIMER: And so, on the sixth day, Watsuhiko Nobuhiro created Rurouni Kenshin. Five years later, cienne made crap of it. T_T
Author's Notes: This is a side story or the real story (whatever you call that) to the songfic 'Maybe' by me. This is more centered on how Saitou began falling for Sano (I hope, don't kill me!). My real enemy is experience… because I have none. T_T
There I was waiting for the chance
Hoping that you'll understand the things I wanna say
"Ah…" said Sano, and Saitou's eyes narrowed in irritation.
"You're wasting my time, ahou." he growled. "Spit it out already."
Sano flushed crimson and the cop raised an eyebrow in surprise.
"Well, man…" started Sano. "I, uh… I wanted to say that if…"
Saitou rolled his eyes. The damned ahou had been in his office for almost an hour now, stating he needed to 'talk' with him. So far, the kid hadn't been able to finish one whole sentence and his patience was growing thin.
Sano cleared his throat and Saitou couldn't help but notice how his blush made his face look so much younger than his years.
"…this is just, well, a hypothetical question, y'know?" Sano was saying and Saitou made himself listen again.
"A hypothetical question…" Saitou snorted, sarcastically. "Where in the world did you learn such words, ahou? I must be dying.."
"Shut up, dick face!" Sano snarled, his blush intensifying. "Stop calling me ahou! I can't friggin' concentrate."
Saitou smirked to disguise his urge to laugh. Sometimes, talking with the ahou had its perks. Especially when the kid was all melodramatic, using words Saitou couldn't believe were in his vocabulary. Concentrate! Really…
Sano was glaring at him and Saitou languidly composed himself. "You were saying…?"
The roosterhead seemed to melt but shook himself. "'Kay, man. Anyway, as I was saying."
Saitou smirked as Sano straightened.
"Just for example, 'kay?"
Saitou nodded.
Sano was blushing again. "What if… this is just hypothetical, 'kay? We clear on that?"
The cop snorted. "Fine."
Sano took a deep breath. "Great, man. Now then, for example… I have this friend who's in love…"
Saitou raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think I give a fuck whether your friend is in love or not?"
Sano rolled his eyes. "Aw, c'mon, man. Just pretend I really need your take on this, 'kay?"
Saitou snorted. "Whatever."
Sano glared. "As I was saying… this friend of mine is uh-in love."
The cop nodded when the kid stared at him, waiting.
"… not just with anyone, alright?" Sano flushed again. "But, uh, he's- I mean she…" Sano glanced, nervously at Saitou before continuing. "She happens to be in love with a really, really annoying, chain-smoking, exasperating, most obnoxious bastard cop. Who keeps calling him stupid and dumb and idiot and god-knows-what-else. But this is really hypothetical but that bastard cop really gets on his nerves but he can't stop thinking about him!" Sano was slowly getting riled up as he spoke.
"He's cold and an asshole and it would really make me happy if he'd just shove a cigarette up his ass. But, I really, really like him but I know he'd kill me if I ever tell him and…"
Sano stopped suddenly as he realized Saitou was staring at him with narrowed, golden eyes.
Silence. And then…
"Oh, jeez…." said Sano. "Look at the time. Gotta go, man. See 'ya around." he said very quickly and took off.
Saitou sat there, unmoving and realizing for the first time that he was not as cold as Sano had been saying. He probably was … but not anymore.
He sat there thinking until Kamatari knocked and he had to put back his cold mask again.
As my love stronger than before
I wanna see you more and more
But you closed your door
Two weeks later…
"Why the fuck not?" Sano yelled angrily.
For months, he'd been on pins and needles, dreading yet needing to tell the man he'd lusted for about his true feelings. If he wanted the man, Kenshin had said, then he should go for it. The time for coyness was over!
He had consulted friends, weighed alternatives, debated pros and cons, preened like a peacock in heat an held his breath amidst pounding heart and sweaty palms as he proclaimed his sweet, sweet love for the Wolf of Mibu… Now this?!
He could've understood a shake of the head as the cop smiled sadly and held his hand, golden eyes teary as he said "Forgive me, Sano… but, my heart belongs to someone else."
That was acceptable! But the bastard cop who must've been the devil reincarnate just stared at him like he was some new specie of vermin and raised an eyebrow. "No." he said.
It drove Sano crazy!
He was handsome, very handsome! He was masculine, young, suave, inexperienced but raring to learn! He had great hair and a ravishing face! His body became the main topic for many fantasies, conversations and secret worship! He had a great ass, for God's sakes! What in hell was lacking in him that Saitou would refuse him outright!?
"No." Saitou said again, rubbing it in with a barrel of salt and pepper.
Sano forced his jaw shut. Recovering from the shock, he glared at Saitou. "Why the fuck not, temee?" he growled, his hands fisting at his sides.
Saitou took a drag on his slim cigarette and puffed out the smoke. He glanced at Sano dispassionately. "I'm no cradle robber, ahou. Go home and sleep it off."
Sano gritted his teeth. "I'm not a snotty teenager anymore, Hajime."
Saitou raised an eyebrow. "Hn. How old are you?"
"Twenty-eight." Sano replied without batting an eyelash.
The cop smirked. "Right. And I'm the Queen of Drag. Get lost kid."
The young man groaned. "Okay, I'm nineteen. But, I'll be turning twenty in a few months."
he added hastily.
Saitou dropped his cigarette and crushed it with the sole of his shoe. "A no's a no, ahou."
Sano was in between pulling his hair out in frustration and begging down on his knees. "Pleeeeeaaaase, Hajime… I'm ready for this stuff, man." he pleaded. "I even asked Kenshin and Aoshi what lubricant they use and all that sex stuff. So pleeease…."
Saitou's glare made Sano shut up. The boy was too young, too young, too young. Oh, yes, he'd fantasized about the ahou and all that but he knew better than to mess up the kid's romantic notions (probably deluded by Himura and Shinomori's seemingly wonderful relationship) of being with another man.
He wasn't like that. He wasn't romantic and he'd never be one. It's best Sano finds someone his age to cavort with. Someone who wouldn't leave him like a disposable rag after a few romps.
"A no's a no, ahou. Now, get lost." Saitou said with a warning glare and walked off.
Sano stood there, silently watching him disappear.
Why don't you try to open up your eyes
I won't take so much of your time
Two days later…
Sano took a deep breath and pushed open the door to Saitou's office.
"Hey, cop." he greeted, casually as he walked inside
Saitou looked up from his paperwork. "What are you doing here, ahou?"
The roosterhead sat down. "Nothing…"
The cop glared. "Ahou, I'm working."
"Yeah." Sano nodded.
Silence.
Saitou slowly counted to ten. "You really want to die that bad…?"
The kid smiled and Saitou paused in surprise. "Nah, cop. Just lemme stay here. 'kay? I got nothing to do anyway."
Saitou considered this. "If you make one peep, I'll slit your throat. Understood?"
"Whatever."
And so, Saitou spent his whole day with Sano looking on as he signed papers and filed reports. Then they went to the Akabeko for lunch, Sano begging for another bottle of sake before they left. Then back again at his office with Sano running errands for him and insulting Cho as he came for his folders.
At the end of the day, when they were walking home, Saitou had to stop and think there must be something more to the ahou after all.
Maybe it's wrong to say please love me too
'Coz I know you'll never do
Somebody else is waiting there inside for you
Sanosuke's brown eyes narrowed as he saw Kamatari walk out of Saitou's house. "What the…?"
Kamatari smiled as he neared Sano. "Hey, Roostie."
Sano felt bitter jealousy as he saw the content smile on the cross dresser's face. "Why are you here?" he demanded.
Kamatari giggled, walking away. "You should ask dear Saitou that, don't you think?"
Saitou raised an eyebrow as Sano stomped inside his house. "Why is Kamatari here, you bastard cop?" he demanded.
The cop glared at him. "None of your business…"
"Is he your lover?"
Saitou kneaded his temples in attempt to calm himself down.
"Tell me, man! Is Kamatari your lover?"
"Quiet, ahou…"
"Is he your lover?"
"Just…"
"Tell me, Hajime. Is he your lover?!"
"Yes! Now, shut the fuck up!"
Sano gasped, chocolate eyes wide.
Saitou glared at him. "You have no business asking me who I prefer to fuck, ahou. You… you have no right…"
Sano turned and ran, slamming the door behind him.
Saitou took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
Maybe it's wrong to love you more each day
'Coz I know he's here to stay
But, I know to whom you should belong
Saitou asked himself if he should do this again for the hundredth time. He really didn't care if the ahou was run over by a horse carriage, so why is he standing in front of the kid's shack and worrying why he hadn't seen much of the kid since that incident with Kamatari almost a three days ago?
Saitou gritted his teeth. If you're not dead yet, ahou. I'll fucking kill you. he inwardly threatened and pulled the door open.
Sanosuke was lying on his side, his back to the door probably sleeping. Saitou let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Suddenly pissed, he stepped inside and pulled the door closed so loud that Sano jumped awake.
"Mmm…" muttered Sano, rubbing at his eyes. "Who…? Saitou…!? What the hell you doin' here, man?" he gasped, suddenly wide awake.
Saitou snorted. "I have a job for you, ahou." he blurted out and quelled his desire to gape at himself.
I have a job for you, ahou?! Now where the hell did that come from?! Saitou wanted to kick himself with his sudden loss of control. He must be going crazy! All he wanted was to see if the dumb kid didn't kill himself over finding out about his affair with Kamatari. Then again, Sano was alive, right? Looking like nothing had gone wrong in his world. Hn, he probably overestimated himself in the ahou's eyes.
"A job?" the kid echoed, very confused.
Saitou's calm face did not betray the turmoil inside him as he glanced dispassionately at Sano. "Yes, a job. It's what responsible adults do for a living. You want it or not?"
Sano's chocolate eyes widened in excitement. "Do I get to be your assistant?" he asked, almost breathless.
Saitou seemed to think things over. "Maybe…"
"Great!" Sano yelled and jumped forward to grab him in a tight hug. "You're the best, man!"
The cop's eyes widened in surprise. He was going to push him away when Sano looked up at him with happy, brown eyes. "Then, we should be on first name basis now, ne, cop? Call me Sano and I'll call you Hajime, 'kay?"
Saitou frowned. "No. Now get off me." he ordered.
Sano grinned. "Aw, you're such an asshole, man." he said and let him go.
Saitou raised an eyebrow at the kid and couldn't help but miss that warm body holding him just a few minutes before.
Sano shuffled around, getting ready. Then stopped and stared at the floor. "Hey, 'Jime…"
"Hn."
Sano was turned away from him, so Saitou couldn't see his face. "Do… Are you in love with Kamatari…?"
Saitou paused at the sadness in the youth's voice. He didn't have to think. "No. Why?"
Sano turned to him again, face beaming. "Nothing." he grinned and grabbed Saitou's arm. "Now, c'mon. Let's be responsible adults."
I believe what you said to me
We should set each other free
This time you wanted to be
But, my love's stronger than before
I wanna see you more and more
But, you've closed your door
Saitou sighed as he lay alone on his bed.
Do you love Kamatari?, Sano had asked. The cop sucked his slim cigarette, thoughtful. Damned ahou, why does he care anyway? His business was his business.
Suddenly very pissed, he exhaled while crushing the cigarette in his hand. "Fucking ahou!" he hissed. He didn't love Kamatari! He didn't give a fuck about Kamatari! He just wanted to fuck Kamatari!
When he calmed down, Saitou tangled his hands in his hair and wondered if he'd get the chance to tell Sano what he really felt. That he was a man and he had needs. Kamatari was there and available.
Yes, Sano was there too, and available, but he…
Saitou's eyes widened at his sudden realization. He didn't want to be Sano's lover then because… because he hadn't been sure if his feelings for the ahou were just lust… or something else.
But, now… he was sure. It is something else.
And suddenly, Saitou was so scared of Sano that he didn't think he could keep up the calm façade he always put up whenever Sanosuke was near him.
Later that night, when Kamatari thought he was sleeping and whispered 'I love you' in his ear, Saitou thought about Sano and wondered if he was dreaming about that annoying, chain-smoking , exasperating, most obnoxious, bastard cop he was in love with.
Why don't you try to open up your heart
I won't take so much of your time
Sano punched Saitou's arm in jest. "You wanna fight, man?" he demanded, a wide grin on his face. "Just pick the place and I'll be there."
Saitou snorted. "Ahou."
The younger man shook his head in feigned annoyance. "Not again, damn cop. I have a name, y'know. Say it, man. Sa-no-su-ke."
"I'm-dea-ling-with-a-mo-ron." Saitou replied. "There. Satisfied?"
Sano bristled. "Up my ass, old man."
Saitou smirked and they walked along the streets of Kyoto in silence.
Saitou rolled his eyes when Sano spoke up again. "Hey…" he said, softly much to Saitou's surprise.
"Hn."
"You know, I like you, don't you?"
The cop didn't answer.
Sano sighed then stopped walking.
Saitou snorted and waited. His golden eyes widened when he felt Sano lean his head on his back. "Y'know…" Sano whispered. "I think I love you…"
The cop opened his mouth to speak but Sano beat him to it.
"I know you're gonna say I'm stupid and an ahou… but I do. I really, really like you, Hajime. Sometimes…" Sano took a deep breath and sighed. "Sometimes, I feel I can't breathe when I realize just how much…"
Sano's arms crept around his waist and tightened into a hug. "If you give me a chance… I'll make you see what you're missing without me."
Saitou wanted to push him off and walk away. Give the damn ahou a bruise or two for humiliating him in public like this. Instead, he glared at those who stared in their direction and his face softened. "Ahou…"
A few hours later, Saitou was surprised at how gentle he could be.
Sano nuzzled closer to him, his body still trembling in the aftermath of the very first orgasm of his young life. "'Jime…" he murmured.
Saitou surprised himself again when his arms held Sanosuke tighter on their own. "What now, ahou?"
The kid bit his chest. "Asshole."
The cop gave a small laugh and then stopped, baffled. That was him laughing, wasn't it?
Sano moved to stare at him when he fell quiet. "What's wrong…?"
Scared, golden eyes closed and he pulled Sano closer to him. "Can I ask you a hypothetical question…?"
The younger man nodded, confused. "What is it…?"
Saitou could feel his voice shaking. "I have a friend…"
Sano could feel warmth spread throughout his chest and he felt tears prick his eyes. "Yeah." he said, hoarsely.
The cop pulled Sano tighter against him. "This is completely hypothetical, we clear on that?" his voice was hushed.
The kid sniffled. "Yeah."
The cop pulled back and opened intense, golden eyes to study Sano's face. "This friend of mine… doesn't know if he's in love…"
Sano bit his lip, blinking back tears as he nodded.
"But… this person… this free-loading, idiotic, infuriating, stubborn ahou…"
"But, he's handsome, ne?"
Saitou smirked. "Maybe…"
"And he's a great kisser…?"
The cop laughed. "As I was saying, my friend can't get this person off his mind. What do you think he should do?"
Sano was beaming up at him. "You sure it ain't a she?"
Saitou shook his head slowly.
The kid bit his lip again, cheeks flushed. "Maybe… you're friend should spend more time with this person, ne? And…"
"And…?" Saitou prodded.
Sano's blush intensified. "And maybe he should screw him more often so he would know." he blurted out.
Saitou laughed and held him close. "Hey…" he whispered.
Sano kissed his chin. "Mmm?"
"My friend says thank you."
The young man grinned.
Maybe it's wrong to say please love me too
'Coz I know you'll never do
Somebody else is waiting there inside for you
"Are you having dinner at home?" Sano was asking Saitou as he sat on the cop's lap.
"Depends…" said Saitou.
"On what?" Sano asked, getting more comfortable.
"On what you cook and what's for dessert."
Sano chortled. "You're evil."
Saitou smirked. "That's why you like me…"
The young man twisted so that he was facing Saitou. He gave the cop a wet smack then grinned. "Luv yah, 'Jime."
The cop hn'ed.
"Yeah, man. Hn all you want and you ain't getting this." Sano huffed then placed his index finger on his tongue and sucked it inside his mouth.
Saitou growled, arranging Sano on his lap so that the kid was straddling him. He grabbed Sano's hips and began thrusting against him. "Too bad somebody would miss this."
Sano released his finger with a pop and grinded his hips against Saitou. "You're such a … nnhh… bastard…" he managed to say.
Saitou laughed.
Annoyed, Sanosuke's head swooped down and quieted Saitou with a kiss.
Maybe it's wrong to love you more each day
'Coz I know he's here to stay
But, my love is strong
I don't know if this is wrong
"Ah, so you're his new bitch now…" Kamatari said, leering.
Sano bristled. "Shut up, temee."
Kamatari laughed. "Oooh, I'm so scared. Roostie boy gonna come get me."
"You're such a bastard, Kamatari."
"And you're such a slut, ahou."
"Don't call me that!"
"Slut, slut, slut!" Kamatari sing-sang.
Sano took a menacing step forward. "You shut your mouth or I'll…"
"You'll what?" Kamatari leered. " Call on the big bad wolfie for help?"
Sano curled a fist. "Why you…?"
Kamatari fell to the floor, one cheek redder than the other. He stared incredulously at golden eyes glaring down at him.
"Anymore trouble from you and you're out of here. Understood?"
Kamatari stood up shakily, nodding.
"You." Saitou turned to a surprised Sano. "Go home."
Sano stared at him pleading, but Saitou dismissed him and he walked off sadly.
"You." Saitou barked and Kamatari froze.
"H-Hai…" Kamatari nodded.
Saitou's eyes softened. "Look, Kamatari. It wasn't the boy's fault I left you."
Kamatari bristled. "Then what? I'm not that good?" he demanded.
Saitou shook his head, eyes narrowing. "It isn't about that."
Kamatari withered a little under the intense glare. "Then what is it? Saitou, can't we…?"
The cop glared at him. "Enough of that. Sano is different. Stop bothering him or you'll have me to answer to. Are we clear on that?"
Kamatari nodded, defeated. "Yes."
But, I know to whom you should belong
Saitou took a deep breath and continued staring at the ceiling. His bedmate had long since gone to the Land of Dreams and he was thankful to have at least some time for reflection before dozing off.
Sano stirred beside him and snuggled closer to his chest.
"Hn." Saitou murmured, one hand went up and began stroking the spiky head. "Ahou…"
Was he caught, then? Was this what they called love, then? To have someone in your arms and not complain about the weight or the heat? To have someone kiss you and hold you and it didn't matter wherever or whenever or whoever you're with? Because every kiss and hug was special and every time is like the first time. And every kiss and hug and embrace will always be kept and hidden inside your heart to be recalled later when that someone wasn't near to kiss, to hug and to embrace.
Saitou mentally kicked himself. Sentimental bullshit. Now, where did that come from? He must be hanging around the idiot Himura too much. He was turning soft.
Sano murmured in his sleep and moved so that his face was on Saitou's chest, his arm around Saitou's waist and his leg across Saitou's thighs.
The cop let out a small smile touch his face. Maybe, it isn't love yet. Maybe, he just needed Sano that much to get through a day. Maybe, Sano was just starting to become an integral part of him that his days and nights, his every waking hour seem bleak and pointless without a dumb remark or a dopey smile from the ahou.
Whatever., Saitou thought. He didn't care, really. All he really cared about was how Sano seemed to fit in his arms as he slept. Looking like for all the world that he belonged there and nowhere else.
Yeah, I know to whom you should belong
Five months later…
Sano made a grab for Saitou's crotch. "Gotcha! Ya little devil."
Saitou smirked. "Little? You've got to be shittin' me, ahou."
Sano chortled. "I like it when you go all angsty with your cock."
The cop raised an eyebrow. "Angsty? I just feel a little underestimated." he said dramatically.
The kid gaped at him. "Where's Hajime, you impostor!?" he cried out and laughed when Saitou grabbed him.
There was a lengthy silence as their mouths met and played.
After awhile Sano surfaced for air and leaned his head on Saitou's chest. "I miss my shack, man."
"Hn."
"But, I belong here now."
"Hn." Saitou nodded.
Sano bristled. "Goddamn it, man. Don't you have any other words in your vocabulary?"
Saitou leaned down on Sano's ear and whispered making Sano blush beet red.
Later, when Sano was sleeping. Saitou leaned down and whispered, "You suck good, ahou."
Sano opened his eyes and blew him a raspberry. " Love you, too, cop."
OWARI!!!
06-04-04