This fic is the result of a How I Met Your Mother marathon, followed by Labyrinth and copious quantities of sugar at about 3 AM. It's short, silly, and really has no point, other than to be short and silly.
Standard disclaimer: I do not own Labyrinth or How I Met Your Mother, as much as I may wish I did.
~~~**~~~
As Sarah's feet hit the ground, her eyes did a quick scan of the perimeter, knowing her adversary would be close by. She was not disappointed as, moments later, Jareth emerged from the shadows, swathed in white feathers. She did not want to try to pinpoint the expression on his face. So instead, she recited the words she knew by heart, the words she'd practiced so many times.
"Give me the child."
His words were as familiar as her own: "Sarah, beware; I have been generous up 'til now, but I can be cruel."
"Generous?" She inquired, genuinely curious, "what have you done that's generous?"
"Everything!" He snapped, clearly frustrated. "Everything you wanted I have done. You asked that the child be taken, I took him. You cowered before me, and I was frightening. I have re-ordered time. I have turned the world upside-down and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. And I know that you say you don't need it, but I love you and I want to give it to you anyway. I want to give you the package."
Sarah blinked. These words were *not* in her script. However, Jareth had said them, and they were true. He *had* been quite generous. And it wasn't fair for her to ask for more. "The package? You've already given me the package. You've got a great package, Jareth. I love your package!"
He shook his head in bitter frustration, and fixed his gaze on the floor. Almost bashfully, he said "Sarah, you're the most incredible woman I know, and you deserve a big package."
Sarah didn't know what to do. How could she convince him that he didn't have to try so hard? "Your package has always been big enough. You may not realize this Jareth, but you've got a huge package."
She tried to catch his eye, but Jareth continued to stubbornly refuse to meet her gaze. Finally, Sarah threw her hands up in the air and stalked away, mumbling something about 'damn overachieving Goblin Kings.' Jareth stared mournfully after her, Toby completely forgotten, as the clock struck thirteen.