It is very hard to explain this whole world to you, but I'm going to try. This is "The Forever Kind" in the future. I was waiting to post this on fanfic until I could write Chloe's birth but then I got very stuck. I only knew this was part of TFK until after I wrote this and the follow up during 100 Days last year. But I am still stuck with tons of pieces in this word so I use 100Encore to help me fit pieces together. I guess you can think of these as drafts before the chapters in TFK. But these are written out of order, so this whole thing will be uploaded out of order. Two of these were written last year but the rest were written this year as I do 100Encore. If you want to read these in order I'll put the order in the chapter title. That is the short version of the story.
Bottom line: If you like this world I'm accepting prompts for it via tumblr (16confessions) to help me with my writer's block. But it's not for everyone because Jackson cheated.
"Didn't you get my message?" April spit, as soon as she opened the door and saw her husband. "She's sick. I told you not to come."
"I got your message. But, it's my night, April. I'm not her father only on days she's healthy, or when you feel like letting me see her. I'm her father every day."
"I was just about to give her a bath, Jackson."
Jackson edged his way into the half open door. It was still his apartment, after all. "Hi, my Chlo worm. How are you, you're not feeling well, huh?" Chloe Avery bolted into her father's arms.
"I sick, daddy." She clung to him tightly, almost desperately. He held her to him, not letting go. This past month had been the worst month of his life. He just wanted to come home. To spend every free moment he had with his sweet baby girl. He made a horrible mistake, there was no denying that. But, he was doing his punishment, he was trying to build back trust. He just wanted his family back.
"I know sweet girl. How about we go to daddy's and take a bathie and I'll make you some soup and then we'll cuddle and watch Frozen. Does that sound good?"
Chloe smiled, giggling. Even sick, she was the happiest little girl. He was lucky to have April helping him raise the sweetest baby in the universe. "Frozen. Daddy, cuddle here, pweeze."
Jackson shot April a dirty look, standing up with Chloe in his arms "What? I didn't suggest that at all."
"Fine. Can I stay, please? I'll do everything, you can just ignore us. Just don't make me leave, April. Please."
"I can't ignore her while you're here. I'm not gonna do that."
"So have a glass of wine or two while I give her a bath, if it's gonna be that horrible for you to put her to bed with me. You know she's gonna fall asleep in two seconds once the movie's on."
"Jackson…" She touched his shoulder, pain filling her eyes. This was difficult for her too. She'd never stopped loving her husband. But he cheated on her. Her trust in him was shattered. "Alright."
"C'mon Chlo, wanna pick out your jamas for after your bath? Which ones do you want?"
"Wanna be kitty cat."
"You wanna be the kitty cat, huh? Let's go find those."
April sighed, turning on her heels to go find the wine as Jackson and Chloe left the room. She needed to give them time alone, but she refused to avoid him all night. It was going to be a long night.
They'd been separated for a month, but went to therapy every week. Both of them wanted to work on things, from the beginning of this whole mess. But it was harder to live than it was to talk about in a doctor's office. They had been living together a month before she asked him to move out. She could barely look at him, let alone talk to him, forget about touching. She'd wanted to try for her daughter, she was still trying. But they seemed to be drifting apart, the more time went by, rather than working through the issue.
The night she found the number in his pocket, and found out what happened in Boston, they had sex. The angriest sex April had ever experienced. She'd screamed and cried and punched him. She'd even bit him at one point. "I hate you," she'd screamed, as she had the most intense orgasm ever. She threw a pillow over his face and made him do all the work. She'd let out shrill, almost agonizing screams, tears streaming down her face.
Jackson had cried too, whispering "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," every time he she gave him the chance. But all he could really do was fuck her. Throw her against the wall and prove his love. It was messed up, but Jackson and April had always communicated best during sex. Each time they made love, they were having a conversation. He didn't know how many times she came that night, she never stopped screaming and crying, until she fell asleep.
She'd let him hold her then because she fell asleep, but when he woke up it was a whole different story. The bed was empty, and they haven't kissed or touched on purpose or slept in the same bed since. Two months might as well have been a lifetime in their world.
"April, have you seen Chloe? I gave her a bathie and then we went to put jamas on and all of a sudden, there's a kitty cat in front of me."
"Oh no, I don't know where she is, what are we gonna do? We can't watch Frozen without her, she'll get so mad." April bottomed up her second glass of wine, stirring the chicken noodle soup as Jackson and Chloe came in from her bath.
Chloe was wearing her favorite cat footie pajamas, complete with claws on the feet and hands, ears and a tail. "I here. I Chloe cat."
"Well Chloe cat, how are you feeling? Our daughter Chloe was feeling sick, she needed some soup and medicine, I think her mommy got her some, do you want it?" Jackson asked, placing his daughter on the couch.
"Yes, pweeze Frozen." Chloe rubbed her eyes, yawning as Jackson put on the movie. April brought medicine and Jackson gave it to her via airplane, following it up with a ginger ale chaser at her request. "Yucky," Chloe told her dad, scrunching her nose at him.
"I know, baby. But you're such a big girl, you took it like a champ. I can't believe you're getting so big, you're three soon, girlie."
"Mmmmmhmmmm, three."
"Do you want some soup, Jackson?" April called from the kitchen.
"Yes please, that'd be nice."
"And some w-i-n-e?"
"Yeah, why not? So what kind of party do you want, Chlo worm?"
"Princess Anna."
"Oh, a Frozen party? Why did I ask?"
"No, Anna."
"Just Anna? Why baby?" April came in with the soup, and Jackson smiled in thanks. She sat down next to them on the couch.
"Mommy look like Anna."
"No she doesn't, silly. Just her hair. Mommy's way prettier." Jackson squeezed April's hand. She pulled away quickly, not for any reason but that that his touch startled her. She looked away from him.
"Yeah, prettier."
"Thank you, Chloe, but I think you're the prettiest."
"And daddy the prettiest, too!" Chloe giggled.
"Daddy's not pretty sweetie…he's handsome though, very handsome." Tentatively, she took his hand and squeezed it. For her, that was progress.
Jackson put an exhausted Chloe to bed after "Let It Go," despite a little bit of protest. April was halfway through another glass of wine when he came out. There were tears in his eyes. "April, can I please stay tonight? She knows a lot. She kept saying, 'I miss my daddy. Daddy stay take care of Chloe, don't leave.'"
April bit her lip. "Yeah, you can stay. And I…I have to work this weekend so I…I was wondering if you could take her. You, you have it off, right? You can just drop her off at daycare Monday."
"Alright yeah. I can do that. Hey, April…can we, can we actually talk about what Dr. Crowe said, this week, since…since we have all night here, together?" Jackson poured himself more wine.
"What's to talk about, Jackson. All we do there is talk."
"Exactly, April. Do you want to stay together or…"
"When did I ever say anything about breaking up, Jackson. Do you want to break up?"
"No! I'd like to move back in with my wife. I'd like to be allowed to kiss you."
"Well, you'd be able to kiss me whenever you wanted if only you didn't fuck a stripper and get caught."
"Yeah April, I fucked a stripper. I fucked up. But all I've been doing since we started therapy is paying for it. I'm sorry, babe but…"
"I'm not your babe don't you dare…"
"What…be affectionate? See April, this is what I'm talking about. I'm not going to keep a ring on my finger just for decoration, either you're in and working toward trusting me…or, we just…split. I've done everything you asked of me, so far April…Please just…I know I'm the one that screwed up but…"
"Was she good?"
"April, what are you…"
"You and Dr. Crowe, you say I need to decide what I want, that I can't keep punishing you or myself…I wanna know all the details, Jackson. Did you go down on her? Did you take her from behind? I'm sure she gave you head, how fast did you come? Was she good baby, did she fuck you good, while I was at home reading your daughter a bedtime story?"
"Don't fucking do that, April, don't bring our daughter into this…we said from the beginning we wouldn't…I'll tell you everything. Just leave my kid out of it…"
"Fine. Maybe she was asleep already. Maybe I was dreaming of you."
"The club closed and I was drunk. She'd been dancing for me, and whispered that I wait for her. When she got off we went to a motel and…"
"Classy. Did you pay her?"
"No, April. Are you sure you want to…"
"I want to know what you mean by 'just sex.' I don't know what that is. Every time we fuck, it means something."
"She gave me a blowjob and then…"
"Did you watch her the whole time? Did you reach between her legs and make her come? Did you make her look at you? Did she swallow? Did you tell her what you wanted?"
"April…" Jackson was surprised. His wife usually only talked about sex in the bedroom, or in shy whispers. Now, she was making intimate details of their own sex life seem shot him a look, and he knew he had to give her these details if he wanted to save his marriage. "I closed my eyes and tilted my head back. I couldn't tell you what color eyes she has. It was just a blowjob. I didn't touch a hair on her head. Nothing was swallowed."
"Did you use condoms?" April's eyes were ice cold. She was proud of herself. Getting cheated on had made her stronger. Sure, she'd cried about it. But she was over that now.
"A condom. Yes. I used a condom."
"Did you…did she wrap herself around you?" April loved to wrap her legs around Jackson, and not let go until she came. At work, Jackson knew it was the fastest way to please her.
"I held her against the wall, held her wrists, took her tits in my mouth sometimes, and just…fucked her."
"Her tits…"
"Bigger than yours, fake…"
"Do you like fake tits, Jackson?"
"I like yours April. I miss having yours in my…"
"I didn't ask you that, but I get the point. You like to give, Jackson, did you give?" He looked away from her. For them, this was the most intimate act. It was actually the most difficult for April to get comfortable with, letting someone explore her that intimately. "Yes. Was she sweet, Jackson? Did she like it as much as I do? Did she beg you not to stop, as she was coming?"
Jackson ignored Aprils questions, walking toward where she stood against the counter. He leaned against her, and she knew what he was going to do. Her eyes were angry, daring him, but she didn't stop him. He framed her face with his hands and kissed her. After a second, she kissed back, opening her mouth to let his tongue in. "I hate what you did to me. You hurt me, for no reason,"she said, when he pulled away.
"I hate myself for what I did to you. I'm sorry. I love you."
"It hurts to love you right now. I wish I hated you." She let him take her in his arms and hold her, for the first time since the night she found out. First a kiss, and now this.
Jackson was feeling lucky. "Let me make it better. Let's go to the bedroom and I'll make it better…"
April pulled away. "Jackson, I don't know…"
"I need my daddy," a sweet, tiny voice broke the intense mood.
"You got him, sweet girl, what's wrong? You should be sleeping." Jackson turned to look at Chloe.
"But dares a monster in my bed."
"In your bed? Oh no! Let's get him out of there." He took his daughter's hand and they went down the hall, to battle.
When he returned, he found April in bed, under covers. "Did you get that monster away from my baby girl?" April asked, smiling.
Jackson motioned toward the bed and April nodded, even pulling back the covers. Jackson kicked off his shoes and got in, even though he was fully clothed, he was not declining that invitation. "I sent him right back to Monsterland."
"Oh good, I don't know what I would've done if you weren't here." She initiated this time, kissing him and pulling his sweatshirt off, guiding him on top of her, undoing his belt and throwing his clothes to the floor.
"April, are you sure?" He searched her eyes for the answer. They were uncertain, but not unwilling.
"No." But she guided his mouth to her chest. Once she let him touch her, she realized how much she missed it, how much she needed it, no matter what he'd done, or who had slipped a number into his pocket. She made the choice to stay, she had to let him in. But their relationship was far from healed.
The sex was fast and intense. It was like once they started, they wanted to finish before they changed their minds. But, as hard as she tired, and even though they'd fucked that entire horrible night two months ago, April couldn't get the thought of the other woman out of her head this time.
she came. She never had any trouble there. But though she tried to fight it, she was sobbing uncontrollably as she did. "What's wrong, April, tell me what you're thinking." He pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly. He never wanted to let her go again.
But she pulled away suddenly, as if she'd just been stung. "There's a monster in my bed," she whispered, quietly, a little bit ashamed at what she was feeling, having made so much progress tonight.
"Well, thank you for letting him stay." Jackson said, knowing the best thing he could do right now was acknowledge her progress. But they had a long way to go.