I Know You Would, Partner

Summary: A little drabble prelude to a longer, more dramatic fic. Reno learns a valuable lesson regarding mission orders. Just a bit of silliness, rated for language.

A/N: This silliness came from excessive boredom and a long illness, but inspired a longer, somewhat more heavy/dramatic/actiony fic, which will perhaps appear shortly.

Set in the midst of a tousle. Please enjoy, reviews are most welcome.

All I know is that I don't own nothing…

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"Reno, that had better not be your phone."

"It's not."

"Good."

"It's my beeper. Odd, I thought it was on silent."

"Do you or do you not recall-"

"Aw shit, how'd she get this number?"

"Tseng's strict instructions regarding any form of-"

"I can't have been that drunk."

"Outside communications whilst on this mission? And you were that drunk."

"Yeah, like you can talk yo. You could drink me under the table."

"Anyone could. I believe that was my point."

"Whatever, yo. And I do recall, but I have a life, you know?"

"Actually you don't. It belongs to ShinRa, more or less."

"Yeah well, ShinRa has a life then. Besides, how are we supposed to call for aid with-"

"Yet again Reno you have spectacularly missed the point."

"Oh yeah?"

"Without communication devices, our target has no way of detecting us here, and-"

"No shit."

"Thus they have no way of tracing or finding us, nor us needing to call for aid."

"… Huh."

"Yeah."

"Suppose they-"

"No."

"No really, what if-"

"No."

"Oh."

"Mmhmm."

"Well hey, this is what these missions are for, right partner?"

"What's that, rookie?"

"Training me up all safe like. See, I've learned from this experience."

"Thank heavens for small mercies. Pray tell, what have you learned?"

"That Tseng waffles on about this shit for a purpose, you just have to sift through the garbage to find it."

"I'd hardly relate the term 'waffles' to Tseng."

"Aw c'mon yo, he complicates things too much. All he's gotta say is-"

"Tseng?"

"Stick with me, yo. All he's gotta say is "Kill this guy," and we'll get it done. Right?"

"Apparently."

"But he adds in all this extra waffly garbage to confuse us."

"Tseng merely conveys orders from Rufus."

"Alright, Rufus waffles on then. Tseng's just as bad though, going along with it."

"On your right, kid."

"Thanks yo."

"Once again, this could all have been avoided if you had just stuck to the plan."

"Hey, it's possible they heard your big old footsteps up above, you know."

"No, I'm afraid not."

"They ain't deaf, yo."

"Nor technologically incapable, yo. Your beeper would have been causing signals in their systems for a good hour- … I almost hate to ask."

"Aw shit, what do you know? My phone wasn't on silent either."

"My life would be so much simpler if I shoved you back to that hairy guy from before."

"Ew yo, he looked like he wanted to eat me. I deserve at least decapitation."

"Far too quick. Needs to be drawn out and painful."

"Drowning perhaps."

"You'd still be able to talk. Somehow. It'd be excruciating for a few minutes while I waited."

"It'd suck to be you, yo."

"Now starvation. There's an idea."

"Aw geez Rude that's cruel even for you. Besides I'd still be able to talk. Watch your side."

"Thanks. You wouldn't if I cut out your tongue and stitched your mouth up as the cause though. Long, drawn out, painful, and yet blissfully silent."

"Just for you, I'd figure out a way to be noisy."

"I know you would, partner."