DISCLAIMER:The ideas are mine, the characters belong to JK...

"You know, most people really don't know me"

Marilyn Monroe

Prologue (1957)

The first thing I remember from my childhood is fear.

My parents used to argue all the time. They posed as a respectable pure blood family, as the name Black required, but there was very little respect between them once they found themselves away from the watchful eyes of magical society. Their words were harsh, their love non-existent, their quarrels awfully frequent. I listened to it all. The screams, the swearing, the spells missing their targets... It would be frightening to any little girl, and it was so to me.

I was the youngest of the three children born to Cygnus and Druella Black, and it was obvious that I was different from my two sisters from the very day I was born, which I was told to be a cold and foggy winter night of 1957. Both Bellatrix and Andromeda, however different in behaviour and personality, had dark hair, and powerful brown eyes behind which hid certain strength of character and will. My eyes, on the other hand, were blue, and my blond hair lacked the elegance of their curls. From birth I was thought to be very fragile, and it seemed only fit to my mother to break with family tradition and name me after a flower. That's how I became Narcissa.

I grew to be exactly what was expected of me, and in 1960, I was a delicate little girl, naïve and more vulnerable than any of my sisters would ever be. I was three years old, by which time I should have grown used to my parents' quarrels, perhaps, but they frightened me almost more than anything in the world. My oldest memory is of one of those nights, when I was awakened by my mother's harsh voice, shouting things at my father I wish I could forget. Soon I could hear objects, which sounded like the expensive porcelain, banging and crashing against the walls of the upper floor, and I sat over the valance of my bed, terrified, holding my knees and pulling them closer to my body. I was crying when both my sisters walked in.

Andromeda closed the door behind them, as soon as they were both inside, and rushed to an armchair, away from my bed. She sat there alone, very quietly, looking up at the ceiling as if she could follow father's movements back and forth instead of merely listening to his heavy steps. Andy had always been very self-sufficient. She would spend her days alone, playing outside in the gardens, and eventually, escaping the manor to watch other's people's daily lives. Since those early years, she was not as proud of being a Black as she should be, and the costs of bearing such a name seemed too expensive for her to pay. It was her way, and I loved her.

Bellatrix, for her part, walked towards me and climbed my bed as soon as she entered the bedroom. She was five or six years old then, a beautiful dark-haired little girl, tall for her age, and remarkably brave! I do not know if she could understand our parents' fights, but I know she didn't fear them. There were no tears on her face, no pain in her eyes, only concern about her youngest sister, crying so desperately it almost hurt. She placed her arms around me, pulling me closer to her body, and I laid my head on her chest, my tears falling free all over her nightgown.

"Bella, I'm scared."

"Shhhh," Bella whispered, "I know, Cissy, I know..." she said softly, holding me tight, using the nickname she would continue to use even way after we were older and a bit too grown up for such endearments.

She didn't say everything was going to be fine. I suppose even then she did not believe that, and Bella never lied to me. But I knew she would protect me, and I didn't feel so scared anymore. It didn't even occur to me that there was very little a six year old could do to protect an even younger child from the wrath of two adult wizards, if it came to that. Bella was special; she had ways to protect me. She would keep me safe. And I would protect her no matter what.

That night, I fell asleep in my sister's arms. She didn't let go of me, not even for a second, and several hours passed until the struggle upstairs lost strength and faded away.

Once there was silence in the manor, Bella laid down on my bed, hugging me from behind. I called Andy to join us. My middle sister sat on the floor, next to the bed, resting her head over the mattress, and held my hand. I knew I had nothing to fear, and soon, my eyes felt heavier. It was only a few seconds before I slipped out of reality, that I felt Bella's kiss on the top of my head. She said, "I love you, Cissy", without sound, and I knew I would always love her.

We might not have been meant for happiness, but whatever was to happen in the years that came, I knew we would always have each other.

A/N:I have started this story again (november / 2016), with several corrections to the dates and years in which things took place (I made a mistake before). Somebody dared me to write a story from Narcissa's point of view, a long time ago, and that's how this story was born.

I wanted this story to sound like "Vallerie's letter", from V for Vendetta. There will be several chapters, all of them depicting an episode of Cissy's past, painting the colours that make her who she is. I'm also attaching quotes by Marylin Monroe in the beginning of every chapter. I think she verbalized quite well how troubling it is to be a girl, sometimes, and I wanted to share that in my stories.

Please review...

LLAP