Trust.
So complicated.
It can be built slowly, with the passing of time and actions that forge it. But it can also happen instantaneously, an immediate feeling of safety that comes along with a person.
That was the type I had with Gale. That time we'd met in the woods for the first time, it had just clicked. Like we were made to protect each other's backs. It happened quickly; we fell into a routine, a hunting pattern so safe it was impossible to break.
But then came the Games, and the Capitol.
He changed, or I changed, but the result was that what we had was shattered. Not a trace of it left. Maybe if things had been different, if we had been born in a world where peace was a given, where we didn't have to harden our hearts to survive, if I had had a naturally open personality... But that was how it happened.
There's also that feeling in the back of my mind that tells me it was his fault. That he was responsible for my sister's death. Even now a wave of pain crashes over me, drowning out my surroundings, numbing me. I double over, my head between my knees.
In these moments, it's all I can do to hold onto reality, to grasp at the life I've tried to build around me. It hasn't been easy, but then the things that are never last. My trust for Gale was easy, yet look what happened...
But there is another person in my life who I've decided to trust completely. This wasn't like with Gale, it didn't happen in an instant, but over years and years.
I sit in the garden that we've planted together, bathing in the sun of the late afternoon. The innocent smell of primroses fills the air, reminding me of times long gone. In the chair beside me, he's fallen sound asleep. A single lock of yellow hair falls over his face, rising and falling gently as he breathes. He looks so... peaceful.
I am thankful for that.