Sloth eyed the damp tarp with suspicion. "For, me?" He asked in his deep, slow voice. Olivier Armstrong nodded, and ordered Falman to pull it off, with a face like that of one who just realized their favorite radio program was canceled years ago, and they've only ever heard reruns.
Falman pulled off the tarp, and revealed… Nothing. There was nothing under the tarp, despite the fact it had the structure of a large truck. The Elric brothers gasped, and Winry closed her eyes and went to sleep, lulled by the smell of gasoline and oil.
"It's an invisible bulldozer," The manly Armstrong explained, "A peace offering you can take with you, like your bad smell, if you promise to leave and never come back to Briggs."
Sloth believed her, and picked it up, was surprised by it's weight, and put it down again, shaking the entire structure with his imitation of the Planet Fitness commercial. "It's, uh, truck?"
"Bulldozer, you overgrown 'roider!" Winry shouted as she woke up, and her hair burst into flames so the others could see her rage towards the Homunculus for mistaking one piece of machinery for something used to compensate.
"I honestly couldn't care what it is, but would it be out of line to simply, ah, applaud him into death?" Kimblee asked the Major General, who then ordered him turned over to the Drachmans for insubordination, angry at him for trying to cause violence just before peace.
"You can't turn him over, when he isn't under your command!" Scar exhaled, breaking through the ceiling and falling to the floor below.
"The scarred man!" Edward yelled, but Alphonse hushed him, and Winry's hair was put out by the sudden wind.
"Don't worry brother, he can make a plea deal; he'll not go to prison if he can kill Kimblee, who's wanted for insubordination!"
"Effective immediately!" Scar shouted, agreeing to Alphonse's bargain. Olivier signed the contract, and the two pyrotechnicians went at each other, exploding each other's explosions. Kimblee, wounded more severely than Scar, escaped through the hole by rocket jumping with his alchemy. The wind was blowing north, towards Drachma, and Olivier nodded her approval, as that's where she wanted him anyway.
"Hey look everybody, he's gone!" Captain Buccaneer shouted, and Falman responded by saying they all knew that.. After Armstrong ordered his removal from Briggs, a gross overreaction which was never acted on (she did that a lot), Buccaneer clarified "No, not Kimblee, the white devilman; Sloth, the fat abuser of PEDs!"
And true enough, Sloth was gone, through a brand new hole in the wall, riding his new toy to freedom.
Father was enjoying a nice platter of italian food, but mostly lasagna, while Gluttony watched in anguish, his stomach bellowing as loud as a knuckle cracking, when the wall broke. Both of them turned to see Sloth levitating several feet off the ground, using his giant, glovish hands to control the tiny invisible levers, and he sat hunched like a netizen of 4chan, blinking in the comparative brightness of Father's underground base.
"Sloth, have you completed my circle already? That wasn't supposed to occur until volume 19!" Father said, glaring at his floatiness, "And just why are you flying, son? Have you grown heretical, and sold your soul to the devil?"
"Contracts are, such a pain." Sloth said, thinking of how confused he was when Scar and Olivier made their agreement.
"Really? How praise-worthy- To think one of my children has finally taken the next step in world domination! Of course, I did long ago," Father gleefully chatted, misinterpreting Sloth's statement, "But it's about time one of you took the initiative! Honestly, though, I didn't expect it to be you, my manifestation of slothful sin."
Sloth ignored him, and climbed the wall to the ceiling, where he dug in his feet and slept like a bat.
Gluttony smelled something odd, and walked over to where Sloth had left the bulldozer, waddling right into it. While it didn't smell good, he was more famished than a Muslim during Ramadan, and so he ate it, starting with the hood, and moving on towards the back, until Sloth's new toy was being digested in his tummy.
However, something wasn't right. Perhaps it was the antifreeze gasoline it contained, or the hopes and dreams of Neil which it contained, but Gluttony was unable to contain it, and expelled it from his body with greater force than when Cronus threw up his children, spewing it into the hole from whence it'd come. It made him jump back a few steps, recoiling with disgust and shame.
Father released a sensible chuckle at this, but went on with his meal. However, in one slice of lasagna was nothing but mayo, at least below the surface; biting into this, he was more disgusted than Gluttony was earlier, he was more disgusted than Metroid fans were of Other M.
He shouted and stirred like a child in a '50s bath, stirring Sloth of his dream about his bulldozer; powerful and sprawling, but ultimately no one would see it, like the Subway Greed once opened. The shock of waking up so suddenly, something which had never happened before, knocked him off the roof, and he fell to the floor, cracking his head.
Before Sloth was able to regenerate though, Gluttony, who was again running on fumes, ate his brother.
"This makes me so angry!" Father continued his tantrum, "Only one person can soothe me now! Wrath! I demand your presence immediately!"
And within the time it takes to read a page of manga, Wrath was there. "O' Father, what hath tampered your temper, that which I knoweth to be so content, to call on me, your favorite son?"
"Shut up Wrath, and stop speaking Shakespearean, it's not soothing; I need you to kill your brother, Greed, who has rebelled long enough- None else would dare to desecrate my lunch in such a manner!" Father scowled, who regretted ever allowing Greed to open a Subway and gain access to such condiments.
"Oh, but how is one such as I, made for fury and anger alone, intended to kill that beast called Greed?"
"You've done it before, Wrath!" Gluttony said in his childish voice, which brings to mind a certain jerkish bear.
"Yes, and this time you shall have Gluttony to assist you; so go, both of you! And Wrath," Father mentioned, "Make sure you punish Gluttony for eating your brother, Sloth."
"Ah, but say no more, Father, for I remain confident in my abilities; for if I weren't, what would be the purpose of my holding them? Surely such questions can never be answered by mortal men, which means they don't exist, and so I must always remain confident!"
Father rose and knocked Wrath to the ground, kicking the bishonen out of him. "Just shut up and kill Greed!" He ordered again, and Wrath ran off with Gluttony to do so. 'Now I just need to boil lava hot enough to melt carbon; can't be making that mistake again!'
"Hmm, I wonder what caused my outburst just now?" Wrath wondered aloud, until just past the door, which limited Father's view, the new found Slothfulness within Gluttony awoke, and to prevent future effort, he put in a miniscule amount, and ate Wrath, before running through the city to find safe haven.