Title: Lighten Up, No One's Dying
Characters/Pairings: Joey, Kincaid, Rick, Dan, implied Rick/Kristen.
Rating: T/PG-13
Summary: Set during NoES4. After Kristen's pulled them into another dream, Joey and Kincaid talk it over at the Crave Inn, while Rick and Dan talk about Kristen and her very spooky friends who definitely won't be dying that night.
Warnings: Language and weird humor.
Timeset: A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master.
Disclaimer: I do not own A Nightmare on Elm Street in any way shape or form, and do not make any money off writing this; it was just for fun and to pass free time.
A/N: This is a pretty random one-shot. I've never written a fic for this fandom before, though I would like to write a more epic one for it someday. x)
Lighten Up, No One's Dying
0.0.0
.0.
"What are we going to do?"
"Well, shit man. How should I know?"
Joey smirked at him. "Yeah," he said, taking a sip from his coffee cup. "Like you're really gonna kick her ass like you keep saying you will."
"Hey, I seriously will," Kincaid said firmly, "because it's about time we start living like regular people, and," he raised his hand and pointed his finger, "I was really hoping you'd be with me on this one."
"Pssh." Joey rolled his eyes. "You gonna ride my ass again for actually being a little bothered by Kristen's dreams?"
Kincaid, still pointing his finger at Joey, moved his hand to instead point to the cup of coffee. "When I see you drinking that shit, I know you're not just a 'little bothered', I know you're actually taking this seriously."
"Well hell, I don't know," Joey said with sarcasm. "Maybe I get a little worked-up every time I find myself having a really hot dream only to be pulled into Kristen's nightmares again, and I seriously don't get off very much on checking out Freddy's boiler room."
"Hey." Kincaid made a casual gesture with his head. "Check out who's here." When Joey began to turn, Kincaid lightly slammed the base of his coke bottle against the table top. "Don't actually look at him."
"Oh," Joey said, taking another sip of coffee. "Oh," he said again. "I get it, Rick's back there, isn't he?"
Kincaid nodded. "Yeah, stupid motherfucker, always spreading around that dumb shit about us."
Joey laughed at him. "What? Who gives a damn what he thinks, or what he says," he shrugged, "because guys like Rick run with the jocks, and all jocks think non-jocks are losers."
"Mm," Kincaid uttered, tapping his hand against the table. "So, you don't care what he's been saying about us?"
Joey shrugged again. "Nah," he replied, making a hand gesture to regain his friend's attention the moment he noted said friend was looking across the diner again. "I mean, even if I don't really care for the guy, Kristen does, so that's all that matters to me. She's been acting weird lately with all this Freddy stuff again, and since Rick could never imagine the kind of hell we went through he's trying to blame Kristen's behavior on us." Kincaid smirked at him, looking at him with a bored expression. Joey could only laugh at him again, though more silently than before. "C'mon, Kristen runs with some of those 'cool people' now or whatever, so when guys like Rick see her hanging around us, talking about weird stuff that makes no sense to them, they're naturally gonna think we're a little weird."
Kincaid continued to look at him with that bored expression. "Uh, yeah. Joey, this ain't one of your done for dumb debating classes, and Rick ain't just saying we're weird," he said, recoiling in his seat. "He's saying we're queer."
Joey furrowed his brow. "What?"
"Uh, yeah," Kincaid repeated. "I tried kicking his ass behind the school yesterday, but Kristen... damn, she just had to step in and break things up," he said, frowning. "I was seriously gonna break that guy's face up before she stepped up to stop me. Everyone knows I could kick that dick's ass, so the hell with that karate shit of his."
"Who cares?" Joey asked, placing one elbow on the table and his chin in his hand. "Seriously, who cares? This isn't Westin Hills, so going around kicking asses like you did there won't buy you a night in the quiet room, it'll buy you a night in jail. Is that guy really worth it?"
"I want him to stop saying that crazy shit about me." Kincaid sneered, staring down at the half-eaten burger on the booth's table. "I didn't tell him I did any time in loon city – I didn't tell anyone – but Kristen... she told that freako boyfriend of hers, and next thing I know, people are talking about me wearing straightjackets on the weekends."
Joey shrugged idly. "You have worn straightjackets," he said.
"Fuck you," Kincaid replied, going back to his burger while Joey went back to that damn coffee of his.
0.0.0
"Those spooky guys keep looking over here at us."
"What spooky guys?"
"Those 'other' friends of Kristen's," Rick said, glancing at them out of the corner of his eye. "I swear, man. I think they're from another planet or something sometimes."
Dan raised an eyebrow. "Why's it bother you? Kristen hanging out with other people, I mean."
"I don't care if she hangs out with other people, I just don't like her hanging out with 'other' people," Rick said with casual ease. "I don't have anything against them, really, but I think they've been filling Kris's head with some bad stuff, like... really, really weird bad stuff."
"What kind of weird stuff?"
"Forget it," Rick replied, shaking his head slightly. "It's way too weird."
"Since I've moved here, things have seemed pretty boring," Dan said, eating another one of his french-fries before taking a quick sip from his root beer. "So, try me, and I'll tell you whether or not it's weird."
"Alright." Rick sat back, folding his arms. "They think Kris is pulling them into her dreams."
Dan blinked at him. "Huh?"
"Yeah," Rick said, simply. "That was pretty much my reaction, too."
"Well," Dan began, though to be honest he didn't really know how to respond to that. "What... what kind of dreams are we talking about here?"
Rick laughed. "It's nothing perverted or anything like that," he said, chortling some more. "Nah, they think Kristen's teleporting them into some sort of haunted house when they sleep."
"They, you know," Dan said, pointing to his head for a second, "alright up here?"
"Well Kris says they are and that I've got it all wrong," Rick nodded firmly, "but I know what I've heard every time I've seen the three of them together."
"If you don't mind me asking," Dan muttered, eyes shifting to the side, "is any of the stuff I've heard about Kristen true?"
"What kind of..." Rick's words trailed. He knew. "Oh, that stuff. Well, it sort of is, but I chock that up to her having a mom who's just as lovable as my dad," he said, trying to put as much of a funny spin on things as he could. He really didn't enjoy talking about his parents in great detail. "Kris and I both have single parents that call for 'avoid all contact' days every once and awhile, and by every once and awhile I mean at least five or six days out of the week," he shrugged, "sometimes seven."
"I hear you on that," Dan replied, eliciting a long sigh. With the way his father rode him sometimes, he often wondered when his father was finally going to tell him to get a football tattooed on his ass, and his mother was always trying to set him up with some dumb cheerleader he had no real interest in.
Rick snapped his fingers. "Hey, Earth to Dan, you going spacey on me like my sis?"
"Huh?" Dan blinked. "Oh, sorry about that," he said, taking another gulp from his bottle of root beer. "I was just thinking about how much parents really can blow sometimes, but back to those guys over there, I think you should just... well, leave them alone."
Rick frowned. "I do leave them alone, it's them who won't leave Kristen alone and I'm not leaving her alone so I don't see a way out of this."
"Have you tried hanging out with them yet?"
"Pssh, have I?" Rick groaned with an unnecessary amount of loudness which he found to be completely necessary. "Yeah I have. The first time was the last time. Kris got us all together for a burger here, and invited the 'others'. While the rest of us all talked like regular people, Joey and Kincaid never said one word to any of us outside 'hi' and 'hello' or 'yeah' and 'no'. Joey would smile, Kincaid would frown, and that was about it." He then made another funny hand gesture. "Oh, though there was the time they snuck off to the men's room so they could actually talk. I'm sure they 'talked' real good, then."
"That's low, man," Dan said, despite the fact that he was failing at hiding a few chortles of his own. "Like I said and like you already know, they're still your girlfriend's friends so you can't be saying bad stuff about them to her, to them, or to anyone else."
"I'll bet you ten bucks easy that they're talking about us right now," Rick said in a comical fashion. Dan didn't think he was serious, that is, until Rick placed a ten dollar bill on the table.
"Yeah, that's a great plan," Dan said, reaching across the table to pat him on the shoulder. He sat back, laughing quietly. "Since this is the most boring town in the country where nothing remotely interesting ever happens, I'm sure one of those undercover agents working here at the diner wouldn't mind spying on those spooky guys for you, since those guys are probably undercover agents themselves, anyway."
"Yes," Rick smiled, tapping his finger against the ten dollar bill on the table. "So, yeah, why don't you go talk to one of those 'undercover agents', then?"
Dan rolled his eyes. "I'm not getting involved in this. There's a fine line between smooth jock and dumb jock."
"I was unaware you were that much of a smooth jock."
"I'm not, really," Dan said, though he sadly had no idea that Rick hadn't been serious. Nonetheless, it seemed that, once again, Rick had become distracted. "Now what is it?"
"They're looking over here. Again."
"So? Just don't look at them."
0.0.0
"Now what is it?"
"They're looking over here. Again."
"So? Just don't look at them." Joey sighed.
"But I know they're talking about us," Kincaid said with seriousness. "I told you we never shoulda come here again, 'cause only stupid assholes hang out at this place."
"Well," Joey muttered, "at least one of us should feel right at home here."
Kincaid nodded. "You're right," he said, smiling at his fellow dream warrior. "You really are a stupid asshole sometimes."
Joey rolled his eyes again, sighing deeply. "That was really cool, Kincaid," he told him. "I'm sure you've picked up a lot of girls with that line."
"Say what?" Kincaid's mouth fell open, his face contorting in anger. "You trying to say I's trying to pick up you?"
"Oh yeah that is definitely what I am saying," Joey said nonchalantly. "No, what I was really trying to say is that you should do like Kris, only find a hot girlfriend and not a hot boyfriend."
"Wait. So now you's saying you think that guy's hot?"
Joey slumped in place. "Kincaid," he said, "I don't know why, but this conversation is getting sort of weird, even for us."
"Well what'd you expect?" Kincaid asked, shrugging to an extreme degree. "This place ain't any cooler to hang out in than Freddy's house."
"Sorry about that," Joey said, though he really wasn't all that sorry. "Next time we need to talk over Kristen's dream power stuff after school, I'll get one of the jocks to get us some fake IDs so we can get loaded in a bar and talk over our Freddy problems that way."
"Sometimes I wish you'd stayed mute," Kincaid replied. Joey frowned at him majorly upon hearing that statement, prompting Kincaid to make another. "And yeah, maybe you should get those IDs."
"You know you don't really need fake IDs to get into a bar around here."
"No shit," Kincaid said, smartly. "I don't think I'd really be in for that anyway, though, since if we have that big of a problem getting out of Kristen's Freddy dreams as we do when we're half-asleep, I can only imagine how easy it'd be if we were tranqed up on boozes."
"We're straying way off topic here, man." Joey was about to take another sip of coffee, when he realized the mug was empty. Oh well. "We came here to talk over what we're gonna do to stop Kristen from taking us on another tour of Freddy's former house of hell, but we really haven't talked about that at all."
Joey, once again, noticed that his friend wasn't really paying him any attention. "Fine, Kincaid... get up, go over there, kick a jock's ass, and then we can talk about the less important stuff."
"I'm about to kick your ass."
"I really don't care."
"Goddamn, Joey," Kincaid said, audibly smirking at him. "What the hell do you care about now, anyway?"
"The usual stuff," Joey replied. "Showing up for class, getting my homework done, and watching as many good-looking blondes on MTV every night as I can before I go to bed so I can have some good dreams in place of the shitty ones I was having before."
Kincaid wanted to laugh, but Joey's statement had been far too sad to earn his laughter. "One of these days, all that wet dreaming of yours is gonna get you killed."
Joey looked at him in disbelief. "Oh no, I fell for that once, and I am never, never falling for that again."
"Yeah keep telling yourself that." Kincaid exhaled another huff. "Anyway, I'm gonna wait for that guy Rick to leave, and then, I'll have that talk me and him never got to finish out back."
After pointing at him again, Joey said, "One of these days, all that ass-kicking of yours is gonna be the death of you." When Kincaid had no initial response to him, he added, "And your dog."
"Are you crazy?"
"Maybe, but my point is that if Kristen can bring Jason into her dreams, I'm sure Freddy could bring him into his nightmares."
"Hey." Kincaid slapped his hand against the table. "We're not talking about that 'Freddy coming back' shit. He ain't coming back, we won, it's over, and I'm getting just as sick of repeating that as I am of hearing about it from Kristen, and you."
Joey shook his head barely. "I never talk about 'Freddy coming back', I only talk about 'Freddy being gone', and I do that because I believe it, and because I really want to help Kristen move on from all that stuff."
"I guess you're right," Kincaid said, although he really had wanted to argue just for the sheer hell of it. "But Kristen's brought us into her crazy, wacked-up dreams three times in the past week. Damn, man, take a look in the mirror next history class. I ain't the only one whose ass is falling asleep in there."
"Point," Joey huffed.
Unfortunately, he and Kincaid both had their doubts; they just didn't talk about them. Whether it was the idea that Kristen revisiting her old nightmares could stir Freddy up again, or, as Kristen simply put it, that Freddy was going to rise from the ashes again to come back for all three of them, it didn't matter.
They had seen some pretty freaky shit, and seeing too much impossible stuff become possible made a lot of impossible stuff seem that much more possible.
Maybe Fred Krueger wasn't gone for good, but he was gone for now – and that was the only thing that let those who knew he had ever existed sleep at night. The problem was that Kristen knew, and wasn't sleeping at night, so while neither Joey nor Kincaid had any intents of lighting up some torches and dream powers to hunt down Freddy again, they were worried that maybe – just maybe – Kristen really knew something they didn't. Something bad.
Before Joey and Kincaid knew it, they were both sitting there; motionless and rather zombie-like.
Which only won them a few more stares.
0.0.0
"Hey, now look at them."
"I've looked at them enough, Rick. I'd like to change the channel now."
"But since when do guys grab a bite to eat in silence?" Rich asked, furrowing his brow.
"I don't know, man, but I think we're about to find out if you don't change the subject to something a little more interesting."
Rick shot Dan a serious look from across the table. "Yeah, you keep telling me this is the most boring town in the world, but I'm telling you that something weird's going on here, and it's gonna get weirder. I can feel it."
Dan leaned back far enough to temporarily look up at the ceiling. "So, your girlfriend has a couple of weird friends, and because of that, things are supposedly gonna get really weird really soon?"
"It's not just that," Rick replied, placing his chin in his hand as he stared off to the side. At the wall. "Alice has been acting a little funny, too."
"Oh, your sister?" Dan looked in the opposing direction, to where the counter was located. "You know, she's pretty cute."
Rick chuckled to himself again. "You have every waitress here jumping on your tabs to jump on you, but her, so I guess that would make her stand out a little more."
Dan shrugged. "Well, maybe you could introduce me sometime?"
"I could," Rick said, "but she's sorta shy, so it would probably be best to let her introduce herself."
Dan stared at Alice awhile longer, then looking back at Rick, who had been staring at that nearby wall suspiciously long. "What's wrong now?"
"I was thinking about that weird stuff again."
"Great."
"Nah, not that as in them, that as in the whole dream stuff-weird stuff in general," Rick insisted, tapping his fingers against the table. Actually, it was his food plate, but Dan didn't say anything about that, even though it wouldn't have mattered. Rick already knew. "I try to get Kris to talk to me about it, but she acts like talking about it'll put me in danger or something. I seriously don't understand what the heck's going on, I only know she's not sleeping anymore and that it has something to do with weird dreams and those weird friends of hers."
"So..." Dan turned his head, looking at said weird friends. "...why don't you ask them?"
"What?"
"You heard me," Dan replied, casually gesturing to Joey and Kincaid. "If Kristen won't tell you what's bothering her, maybe her friends who know will."
Damn, Rick thought. Dan was right, wasn't he? Even if Rick didn't care for Kristen's other friends all that much as friends of his, he did care about Kristen with all of his heart, so if those other friends could help him help her, then...
"Fine," Rick mumbled. "I'll give it a shot."
0.0.0
Joey had ordered another cup of coffee.
In fact, Kincaid had ordered one, too, though according to him, he had just gotten tired of the soda pop.
"Hey," Joey muttered, staring down into his hot mug. "You think this week's gonna get weird?"
"Pull 'weird' out of your debating dictionary, Joey."
"I don't know, just, well... you know..." Joey shrugged idly. "Weird as in... weird."
Kincaid smirked at him. "You mean weird as in Freddy-weird, right?"
"...No."
Kincaid had every intention of giving his friend another pep-talk about Freddy being dead and gone, but then, however...
"Ah shit," he mumbled.
"What is it?" Joey asked.
"Behind you."
Joey groaned. "Not that again, I don't give a damn about Rick or any of his dumb jock friends."
"Well that's nice to know."
Joey blinked. Then, he blinked again. That... hadn't been Kincaid's voice.
"Ah shit," he mumbled.
"Bad timing?" Rick asked, sounding and acting just a comically spry as he always did.
"What do you want?" Kincaid asked. He was bored with the conversation already, and he didn't want it to get any more boring than it already was. He might fall asleep or something.
"I wanted to talk to you guys about Kris," Rick replied.
Before Joey could think of a proper response and before Kincaid could tell him to fuck off, Rick took a seat next to Joey like it wasn't a big deal. Come again, it really wasn't, but Joey and Kincaid weren't in the mood for this, and Rick wouldn't understand, anyway.
The silence lasted for an entire ten seconds, but for Rick, it had felt more like ten years. He'd never liked the silence, especially when other people were around, thus, he had to do something about it.
"So," he began. "You guys having a nice day so far?"
Joey looked at Rick as if he thought the guy were unbelievable in a very bad way, while Kincaid looked at him like he just wanted to kick his ass and be done with him.
"Everything's cool," Joey said, finally.
"Yeah," Kincaid agreed. Or not. "Everything's fine-fuckin'-tastic now that you're here."
"Good to hear," Rick said. He sounded uncannily happy about that. "Anyway, I'm sorry if you guys are having a crap day, but I'd really appreciate it if you two could give me some info into Kristen's 'dream dilemma'."
Quickly, Joey said, "We don't know what you're talking about."
"Guys, I'm not stupid," Rick said, almost as if Joey's statement had insulted his intelligence. "I've heard you guys talk before, and every time, it's always something like... 'Oh shit not again, you brought us into another one of your crazy dreams and we want you to stop', so... yeah. What's that all about?"
"That how you get your kicks?" Kincaid asked, hands fisting on the table. "You like to sneak up on groups of people and then hide somewhere they can't see you so's you can listen in on what they're saying?"
"I actually get most of my kicks in the garage," Rick replied.
"Look," Kincaid said, pointing his finger in Rick's face, "I really don't care, so unless you want another kind of kick, to your ass, I suggest you back the fuck off and leave me alone."
"Fair enough." Rick nodded. "I'll do exactly that... right after you tell me what's up with Kris and the dream stuff."
Joey sighed a long sigh. "Kincaid, let's just tell him what he wants to hear, okay? Kristen wouldn't appreciate it very much if we told him the truth, but... he has a right to know..."
"Ah, yeah," Kincaid said, exhaling a sigh of his own. "You're right, guess we should tell him what's going down."
"Great," Rick smiled. "So... what is going on, then?"
"Well, it's like this," Kincaid began, keeping his voice down. "You see, Kristen, me, and Joey here all had this really freaky shit happen to us about a year ago, and ever since it happened, we sometimes have nightmares about it."
"Okay," Rick said, nodding his head with interesting. "So what happened a year ago?"
Casually, Joey replied, "We were all attacked by some ghosts in a psych ward."
Kincaid looked at his friend with disbelief. "How can you say that? That's ridiculous, so I'm just gonna give it to him straight up."
Rick sighed. Well, at least Kincaid was willing to tell him the truth.
Kincaid formed a very serious expression. "It wasn't ghosts," he said silently. "It was the aliens from outer space... yeah, those little bitches came for us and planted chips in our heads and everything, and you should watch out 'cause they may get you, too. Guy like you has anal probe written all over his ass."
Rick titled his head. "You really like talking about asses, don't you?"
Kincaid stood up. "I'm gonna kick your little—"
"Hey," Joey cut in, putting some space between Rick and Kincaid. "I don't think Kristen would want any of us beating each other up, especially over something she might feel responsible for."
Turning his head to Rick, he said, "Look, the bad stuff that happened to all of us about a year ago is true, but we try not to talk about it, especially to people who weren't there when it happened. So, yeah... we sometimes have bad dreams about it, but it's over and done with and as soon as Kristen stops thinking about it, she'll forget all about it again, too."
Rick grumbled something to himself which was completely inaudible, though it was a good thing Joey and Kincaid hadn't heard him.
"Alright," Rick said, dragging a hand back through his dark hair. "Guess you two explained everything with crystal clarity, so I'll let you two get back to wordlessly staring at coffee cups while I get back to my life."
"Asshole," Kincaid muttered.
Rick made his grand departure to the other side of the diner, trench coat swaying behind him as he turned.
"Well," Joey said. "A guy like that, no wonder Kristen's thinking about Freddy again."
"Yeah, maybe she would rather date Freddy than him." Kincaid shook his head, pushing his coffee aside. "We don't have anything to worry about, so I don't know about you, but I'm going home to finish that damn history project and then chill. Kristen pulling me into all her dream's been causing me to fall asleep in too many classes to get anything done."
"Just don't fall asleep with Jason in the room," Joey said, standing from his seat. "I'm gonna go home and watch MTV."
"You do that, just don't stare at that stupid poster on your wall all night again."
"But that's how I get my best dreams, and I'm gonna have a really good one tonight, tomorrow, and the next day."
"You said it. Guess that's one thing good that's coming out of all this. With Kristen staying awake, we're free to have regular dreams in regular dreamland."
High-five.
And Joey and Kincaid were going to have really cool dreams that night, weren't they?
0.0.0
"Learn anything?" Dan asked.
Rick said, "Definitely."
"And what's that?"
"That those guys aren't kinda spooky, they're really spooky."
Dan gathered his coat from the booth, chuckling to himself as he stood. He pat Rick on the shoulder reassuringly.
"Relax, Rick. Like you always say... lighten up, no one died."
"You're right." Rick's smile returned. "And no one's dying."
0.0.0
-End