A/N: This is kind of absurd. By "kind of," I mean, like, REALLY absurd. I don't even know. Don't judge me.

Set in season 7.

I walk down the hallways of Degrassi and people look at me like I put a knife in JT Yorke's back.

Whatever.

I'm not saying it wasn't fucked up. I mean, Drake killed someone. I've known that kid since we were in grade five, and he's always been weird, but I didn't think he'd actually, like, kill someone. But I think all the teachers here wish I would totally disown him and act like he's Satan just for knifing a kid. Yeah... no. It was kinda over the top, and it's not like I want to be the one serving a life sentence all over this nerd. But I'm not gonna act like I really care that JT's dead. It's not even that I really care about how it all started. It was Nic's beef to start with, and really, I don't care about whatever he has against Preteen Mommy. But the day JT started that battle, he started a war. Sometimes in war, there are casualties. If he'd fought us like a man, it wouldn't have come to all of that. He'd probably be alive. Sucks, doesn't it?

These Degrassi kids, man. They're so white bread, I think I need an insulin shot. I don't know what makes them think I care about their feelings, but they sure act like I should. Everything's all, boohoo, your friend killed my friend. ... And? Should I send you a "deepest sympathies" Hallmark card? Like I've said, I didn't do it. If I did it, maybe I'd have a reason to feel bad. But the war's still going on, and I'm not about to get lost in this "afterschool special" feeling. It was months ago. I'm over it, even if people like "Spinner" aren't, and people like "Spinner" get roid rage and take it out on me. And if hot chicks like Darcy Edwards want to use me to cheat on their boy-band boyfriends, I'm not complaining, either. I'm riding the waves these Degrassi psychos make, and I'm only picking fights when I have to.

But look, even Johnny DiMarco isn't immune to actually liking girls. I think I've got pretty good taste in girls. Guys like Nic and Lucas can take out the trash all they want, and Bruce... he'll do anything with tits and a pulse. I have a more refined taste. But this one's kinda weird.

I mean, I watched her ex-boyfriend die. Drake and I ran right past her and heard her screeching for help a few seconds later. Even for me, that's pretty fucked up.

I just hate prissy bitches. I hate needy little girls. Work out your daddy issues elsewhere. I want someone who's like... smart. I want to be able to talk to a girl, and have similar interests, or whatever. I don't need some girl who doesn't know her ass from her elbow. They might be good for one night, but I'm getting tired of it. Keeping up this rep is tiring. I'm off the rails, man. I feel like a 50-year-old guy having some mid-life crisis, but I just want a woman I can curl up to at night. She just looks like someone who could take care of a guy.

Too bad I'm scum to her. She acts like Lakehurst/Degrassi unity is so 'awesome,' and then she looks at us Lakehurst kids like we all planned JT's death--except Damian. Douchebag Damian. Should have jumped that kid back at Lakehurst when we had a chance to get away with it. He acts like he knows what's best for the school, but what the hell does he really know? He doesn't know shit about the rivalry, about being on the front lines of this war. He doesn't even realize how bad it actually sucks, being one of us.

... Being me, I mean. Bruce and Lucas, I think they still get a kick out of being assholes. But the more I go on thinking about it, the more I think about I'm about to crash and burn if I don't get my life on track soon. I'm at a retarded "wilderness camp" right now. I don't think there's anywhere to go but up at this point. I just wanted to put on a show for people, with this whole Degrassi/Lakehurst thing. I didn't actually want anyone to die. Maybe if I could just talk to Liberty, I could, I don't know, get something out of that. Maybe, if she didn't want to make out with me, she could just like... tell me everything's gonna be okay, and that it wasn't my fault. I wish someone could just tell me for sure it wasn't my fault so I stop thinking that it was.

I know I didn't put that knife in his back, but shit. I feel like I might as well have.