A sigh, soft and elegant, in a melancholy way, slipped gracefully from between my pink and parted lips and then without a second thought, dispersed into the blue sky.
My once vibrant hazel eyes had faded and nearly washed away into a soft, and waning pale green, with wavering specks of yellow.
These withering orbs followed the slow and majestic journey of the bright, white, clouds above, copying the airy movement to memory.
A thin hand with spider-like fingers, brushed the stray ebony hairs from my forehead, and then tucking them behind my ears.
I heaved a deep breath of the fresh spring air through my petite nose, and just as fluently as I inhaled, I exhaled and repeated the process in a delicate manner, until a smell, a certain, distinct...familiar smell had begun to seep into my nostrils.
I furrowed my brow, wracking my mind as to where I had smelt this disconcerting smell before, all the while widening my nostrils and inhaling the scent more and more, finding it simply intoxicating.
It had traces of a subdued musk, dry summer air, and a rough, raw, even, masculine undertone.
As another whiff of the oddly comforting smell entered through my proboscis and found its way into my lungs, where it swirled around in a lazy manner, a revelation began to form slowly, albeit readily, in my mind.
That smell...
I snatched my gaze away from the clouds and brought it down, all the way down, to my hands, where I stared dumbstruck, at them.
It smells like...
I took in a sharp intake of breath and immediately snapped my eyes shut, and clenched my hands, forming petite fists and bringing them to my sides.
Him. That man...
"Gin."
"That's my name, don't wear it out."
I screamed and fell to the ground, my hands coming upwards, in the nick of time, and my palms, now bruised, took the brunt of the force, my white hakama stained by the grass I had fallen onto.
My sore knees and hands keeping me propped up on all fours, locks of black hair streamed past my face, and created a sort of curtain, shielding my stunned expression from the outside world.
That voice, the one that had just whispered into my ear sounded so very much like...Gin, and even though it seemed faint, as a whisper should be, the words rang inside my head with such a clarity, I almost believed he was standing next to me, his chin on my shoulder, whispering into my ear.
I shook my head in a dejected manner, and muted my formerly stunned expression into a more mournfully contemplative one.
But it couldn't be...
"He's gone."
I pushed myself upwards, into a kneeling position and folded my hands over each other, placing them gently onto my lap.
With my head hung low, and my hair still acting as a curtain, I lowered my eyelids, and stared quietly at the ground, refusing to cry.
"Oh c'mon now, where's ya' smile gone?"
I pinpointed the voice's location to right behind me, and lifted my head quickly and turned, intent on exposing the manipulative trick of my mind, but when I turned, nothing was there.
I turned back around, and felt my shoulders slump, and my mouth pull downwards, into a soft frown.
Why am I torturing myself like this? He isn't here anymore, he's gone. He betrayed the Soul Society...and he betrayed me. Why do I still feel this way about that...foxface?!
Irritated at my conflicting emotions, I furrowed my brow and deepened my frown into a scowl.
He's gone and he's still playing games with me!
"That bastard..."
I stood, shakily, to my feet and clenched my fists again, holding them stiffly, at my sides, my hazel eyes flashing dangerously.
"Where are you Gin!? Come out and stop doing this to me! Just stop it!"
My chest heaved as my heart beat frantically and irregular gasps hiccuped from my mouth and past my lips.
"COME OUT YOU TRAITOR!"
"Surely you ain't referring to me?"
A flash of silver and white had entered my view, and there, standing before me, was Gin.
The traitor.
The liar.
The fox.
His arms were folded behind his head and instead of his usual Captain's attire was a similar, but unmarked garment.
It was a long and flowing white robe over the standard Soul Reaper hakama, the hilt of his zanpakuto stuck out from under the robe through the opening down to his waist.
His usual grin was painted upon his pale face, a slight air of menace surrounded him as a rogue breeze blew through his silver follicles and tousled them, as if on cue.
I gasped and the emotions fear, surprise, shock and anger flashed through my expression in rapid succession, in the end, I was left with a look of apathy, my face so confused about the palette of emotions painted upon it in such a sequence I was left with a nothing face.
My mouth was pressed into a thin line, and my eyes were blank, my lids slightly lowered.
Gin, if possible, widened his maniacal smirk and took a few steps back from my person, humming a nonsensical tune all the while, he dropped one of his arms from behind his head and held it out, his index finger beckoning me to step forward.
"C'mere ya' little pussy cat."
I narrowed my eyes and turned sideways, crossing my arms over my chest in the process.
"Don't call me that."
I heard the grin on Gin's face slip a little, and that gave me enough satisfaction and confidence to face him again.
His head was now tilted slightly to the left, and his arms were crossed over each other and tucked into the opposite arm's sleeves, his grin now more sinister than I had ever seen.
"But that's your name ain't it? Why wouldn't you want me to call you by your own name, Cat?"
I stiffened and purposely averted my eyes from meeting his.
"My name is Mao."
"I see, but that means cat, don't it? And since when did you mind if I called you pussy cat?"
I scoffed and lowered my head slightly, allowing my dark hair to cascade across my forehead, and shield my eyes from view.
"I started to mind when you betrayed the Soul Society."
With my head bowed, I couldn't see that the smirk had slipped completely away from his countenance, or that his eyes had widened, and a light turquoise colour was discernable, I couldn't see, but I sensed it, and I was startled.
Immediately I lifted my head up and stared concernedly at his strained expression.
"...Gin?"
"So, that's it, eh?"
He paused to right his head and widen his eyes, at which he trained them unmercifully at me.
"You see what I did as a betrayal? I thought you knew better than that kitty cat."
Alarmed at the apparently forced lackadaisy tone Gin spoke in, and at the steps he was taking closer to me, I merely stood, rooted to the spot, my eyes wide and staring at the man coming steadily closer.
"Hehe. I rhymed there. That, kitty cat? I'm a poet..."
Gin took a final step and was so close to my own body that I could feel waves of frigid air flowing from his body and onto my own, causing me to shiver slightly.
"...And I didn't know it. Or did I?"
He rested his chin on my left shoulder and spoke in a gruff whisper into my ear, his ice cold breath sending even more chills down my spine, he brought a hand up from his side and cupped the right side of my face, my cheek sitting prettily in the palm of his hand.
The moment his skin touched mine, I felt a sudden surge of heat, erupt from seemingly nowhere and travel, with much haste, to the area at which was being intimate with the pale skin of another.
I blushed.
Watching my reaction from the corner of his eye, Gin, seeing the bright splotch of red spread silently across my face grinned slightly, not the grandiose grin he usually wears, but a soft, secret grin that's reserved for only the things that amuse him the most, and at the moment, I was the source of this twisted amusement.
Turning his head slightly, and doubling over, so his nose, and mouth, were perfectly situated in the crook of my neck, Gin proceeded to leave a light trail of feathery-soft kisses from my neck to my collarbone.
"Are ya' purring yet kitty?"
In a slight state of shock at the odd display of intimacy from the traitorous fox, I could only stiffen and try to think, despite the floating haze in my mind, of what to do.
Noticing my rigidity, Gin widened his grin, and I could feel it on my skin, which sent goosebumps all over me.
"Aw c'mon. Relax...why are ya' so...uptight?"
I finally grasped ahold of a decent thought in my drowning mind and managed to shake myself from the spell he seemed to be casting upon me.
I shook my head violently, and in the process shook Gin's hand and head away, while Gin only stepped back and watched me curiously, still smiling that secret smile, but now holding his hands behind his back, in a seemingly innocent manner, while his eyes were still partially open, bitfs of blue twinkling in between his thick, black lashes.
"Oh? What's wrong? It wasn't something I said...was it?"
I furrowed my brow and mustered up the anger I had previously felt before I was bewitched by his touch, and conjured up a terrible scowl, my hand instinctively reaching for the hilt of my zanpakuto.
"Stop it with the tricks Gin! I'm not in the mood for any of your games! Now...why are you here!? Do you want to be killed?! Because after your betrayal, every one in the Soul Society has been given special instructions to murder you on the spot if you were ever to return! And just because we...had something before, doesn't mean I'm an exception to that! I'll kill you if I have to."
Nonplussed at my rather morbid spiel, Gin only shrugged his shoulder and began humming that annoying tune again, except this time, he began pacing, in a small circle, as if contemplating something.
After a few moments of watching Gin do this, I, becoming increasingly upset, especially at how flustered I became when Gin approached me, so I gripped the hilt of my zanpakuto, quickly trying to dispel my thoughts of lost romance with those of blood and fighting.
"Mao."
I released my hold on my zanpakuto and softened my gaze at Gin, his grin was gone again, and his eyes, open, except this time, there was something soft and caring in his expression.
"Gin?"
At the mention of his name, in a way that lacked interest he slapped a half grin onto his countenance and ran a thin hand through his hair, ruffling the usually sleek hairstyle into a more disheveled one.
"I should tell you...why, I did it...but if I do, you must promise not to be angry with me."
The usual way of speaking that others were accustomed to hearing Gin speak had vanished, and instead a voice, a hollow voice, riddled with melancholy, had slithered from his mouth.
His words were spoken clearly and softly, almost tenderly, and even the expression on Gin's face had altered.
A breath-taking turquoise and teal pair of eyes were widened and pointed at myself, their gaze more imploring and sad, burdens and hardships witnessed by these wise orbs trapped behind the pupil and giving off an aura of a simple, passive and demure sense of humility than I had ever seen in these eyes before.
Feeling a certain pang in my chest, I let my arms hang limply to my sides and nodded slowly, not speaking for fear of choking up and muddling my words with sobs.
Acknowledging my reply with a slight inclination of his head, in a sort of half nod, Gin sighed softly, nearly inaudible, and looked up at the clouds I was dreaming about a few precious moments before.
"I grew up as a poor kid in the Rukongai District, pickpocketing and stealing, everything but murder, just to get by. By a stroke of luck I happened to get into the Shinigami Academy, where I, hardened by my days living on the streets rose through the ranks. Quickly I became a lieutenant, and even more quickly, a Captain. I was all set. I was living a luxurious life, I had acquired respect and fear, more of the latter, from the peons beneath me and established myself as a major contender in the Soul Society hierarchy...I was happy. Or so I thought. Decades went by of this almost, hilarious tyrannical reign I had over my division, and even other's, before I began to grow restless. This wasn't enough for me. It never was, I only pretended it was at first, until I realized I didn't have to cheat myself out of happiness. I met Sosuke Aizen, and then began a rocky partnership. He would have my back, and I would have his, and together once we transcended the mediocre bounds of what the Soul Society had to offer, we would be in absolute power, and for me, absolute happiness."
Gin pressed his two hands together, both index fingers tapping against each other, while his eyes were still trained on me.
"But. I've forgotten something from my story, right? I've forgotten..."
In a quick movement most unlike Gin, he had appeared behind me, his thin, but masculine hands planted firmly on my shoulders.
"You. My pretty little, pussy cat."
He lowered his head and kissed the crown of my head softly, placing his own chin on top of the place where he kissed.
"You entered my story a little after I became restless, didn't you? And you kept me more than content where power didn't. I was happy with you, but not the happy I wanted. I wanted to be drunk with power, and therefore a happy drunkard. But you, didn't give me that happy, you gave me a special kind of happiness. A kind I hadn't felt since I died when I was a little kid, a happy that was distinguished when I was hungry and cold in the streets of the Rukongai slums, a happy that brought me back here at the risk of death if anyone else but you sighted me. You loved me...and for that..."
He lifted his chin from my head, and lowered it even further, pressing his cheek against my cheek and dropping his hands from my shoulders to my waist.
"...I loved you."
In a teasing manner, he let his lips gently and barely brush against mine, before pulling himself up to his full height and pocketing his hands into deep pockets on either side of his new robe, stepping out from behind me and eyeing my face smugly, anticipating my reaction.
I brought a hand up to my lips in dismay and watched Gin carefully.
"Loved? As in past-tense?"
Nodding, Gin's half grin grew into a fullblown one and his eyes returned to the colourless slits they usually were and before me was the smiling fool once again.
"Ooh, curiousity killed the cat, didn't it?"
I furrowed my brow slightly, and another porcelain frown tugged at my lips.
Gin noticed, and held up both of his hands in mock surrender.
"Don'cha know? I loved Mao. But I don't know who you are. The Mao I knew...was always smilin'."
I snatched my gaze away from him and turned my head in repugnance at what he was insinuating.
I pressed my mouth in a firm line and pulled it downwards, frowning immensely.
"Didja lose it? Your smile?"
I intentionally looked at everything besides him, and crossed my arms over my chest, too overcome with anger, confusion and curiousity.
Where had my smile gone?
Gin, ignoring my body language, which apparently read negatively, he stepped closer and whispered crooningly, his soft breath billowing over the right side of my face like a blanket.
"I knew you would lose it. So I brought'cha something."
He nuzzled my cheek with his nose in a sweet and affectionate manner, raising a hand and using it to gently turn my face around, so I was facing him again.
Posing his lips over mine in a calculated and cool manner, he pressed them roughly against mine, and in a manner most like his own, he used one hand to grip my waist and the other he placed at the back of my head, deepening the kiss.
Despite myself, I couldn't help but melt into his arms, my body fitting the contours of his chest and arms almost perfectly, my lips feeling somewhat sore at the brute force Gin used when kissing, but I didn't mind.
I liked it.
I missed it.
I smiled.
I knew he could feel it, for when I did, he softened his kisses and with a tender touch he used the hand around my waist and pushed the stray strands of hair from my face, tucking them behind my ear.
Stopping suddenly, Gin pulled back and opened his eyes, the turquoise coloured irises twinkling and gazed down at me lovingly.
He brought both hands up to my face and began stroking my cheeks with his thumbs.
"Now that's a smile."