Inevitable
Disclaimer- I don't own anything from Star Trek. It belongs to Gene Roddenberry and Paramount.
Hey everyone here is a Star Trek fanfiction. I love the series (both the original and the reboot). I will say that I am not a fan of nUhura but I don't hate her either. However, I am a complete Spirk fan so I don't like Uhura and Spock together. And I mean no offense to the people who like the couple but I just can't see the romance between them, they come across more as just friends to me than a romantic couple. And that isn't because I am a Spirk fan, it's just the way the couple come across to me.
Anyways, this is a story about Uhura and her relationship/break-up with Spock. This story is told from Uhura's point of view and takes place somewhere between Star Trek 2009 and STID.
Please no bad comments or haters.
Update- I realized in my fanfiction Collide I said 'here is another Star Trek fanfiction'. However, I had only posted that one so I realized I had forgotten to post this one, which was supposed to come first. The stories have no correlation with each other but still. Just to clear up that confusion that is why is says that. Sorry.
I knew from the moment he returned to the Enterprise that it wasn't because of me. As much as I wished it was, I knew the truth.
Spock and I were never meant to be. As much as I loved him… Love him, I wasn't the one he was meant to be with.
Even with this knowledge I can't stop the painful gasp that forces itself past my lips at the sight I am met with when I enter observation deck seven. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later but to see it now didn't lessen the blow.
For there, right before my eyes but clearly not meant to be seen by anyone is Kirk and Spock; in a passionate kiss, the rest of the world completely forgotten.
I knew this was coming. It has been for a long time. I had seen all the signs. But that doesn't mean I don't feel the pain of losing him to someone else.
I sat frozen in my seat unable to do anything but stare at Spock who is sitting across from me, his face a complete blank as he waits for my response to his decision. I can't believe what I'm hearing but I guess I should have known it was coming.
"You're going to New Vulcan?"
"Indeed." He answers simple and without hesitation. I swallow past the lump in my throat.
"You're leaving Starfleet?"
"Yes."
Again, a simple and quick answer. His decision is made and there is no changing his mind. It was one of the things that had drawn me to him in the first place. His ability to make a decision and stand beside it no matter what. But in this moment, I hated that part of him. His Vulcan heritage… Because it is taking him away from me.
"You want to end our relationship." This time it's not a question.
"I have a duty to help my people and the most logical place for you is with Starfleet. Therefore the only conclusion is for us to terminate our current relationship." He says in his tone that gives me no hint of what he's feeling.
Just like he's been since the destruction of his planet. Not that I could blame him; he lost his home and his mother in one day. But no matter what I tired he wouldn't talk to me about it.
I swallow past the lump in my throat. "I understand." I really do. But part of me can't help but question why he's not asking me to go with him? Is that not even an option?
No.
No it's not. I know if Spock had truly asked me to go with him I would have said no. My dream was finally coming true. I am chief communications officer aboard Starfleet's flagship and I'm working alongside the crew how saved Earth. I couldn't give that up; not even for the man I love.
So Spock is right. This is the only logical conclusion, but that doesn't make this any easier. Our relationship of two years is just ending. Just like that.
"I am… sorry… for any pain you are feeling." Spock says hesitantly. "It is not my wish to cause you pain."
That brings a small smile to my lips as I finally meet his eyes again.
"It's okay Spock. Really." I reassure. Though I'm not sure if I'm reassuring him or myself at this moment. "I understand why this is happening and I hope you live well with your people." I give him a sloppy Vulcan farewell before getting up and leaving the restaurant without a backward glance.
The decision's been made and now I have to live with it.
Kirk checks with every station as we prepare to disembark on our first voyage with him as captain. Everyone is both excited and weary considering what happened last time the Enterprise flew. But with Kirk as Captain I know things are never going to be boring.
"Dock control reports ready," I says as Kirk walks on deck. "Captain."
"Bones." Kirk says after glancing around the bridge before walking forward and patting his friend on the back. "Buckle up."
He walks to the captain's chair and sits down before opening a channel to engineering. "Scotty, how we doing?"
"Dilithium chambers at maximum, Captain." The man replies. There is a short pause. "Get down!" We hear him shout before Kirk cuts the call.
"Mr. Sulu." The pilot turns to face Kirk. "Prepare to engage thrusters."
A thrill shoots through me as we finish our last few checks and I turn back towards my station.
That's when we hear the lift door swoosh open. "Permission to come aboard, Captain?"
My heart stops in my chest and I whirl around in my seat to stare directly at Spock who is still standing by the lift and looking to Kirk for permission to come closer.
"Permission granted." Kirk answers.
"As you have yet to select a First Officer, respectively," Spock says as he moves towards Kirk who rises to meet him. "I would like to summit my candidacy."
Shock is the only thing on my mind right now since I know the shuttles to New Vulcan leave today and just four days ago Spock broke up with me saying he was going to join his people. And yet, here he is on board the Enterprise requesting to be First Officer.
"Should you desire," Spock continues, pulling me from my musing. "I can provide character references."
"It would be my honour Commander." Kirk replies as the two smile at each other, much the same way they had when they left the bridge to start their plan to stop Nero.
Spock moves effortlessly over to his station and when he walks past me (I hadn't realized I left my station until this moment) he gives me a slight nod and proceeds to his station.
Hope bubbles in my chest as I turn back to my station and I just get to work when I notice something.
Kirk and Spock glance at each other for barely a second before turning their attention elsewhere. Pushing that thought to the back of my mind I get to work.
Weeks have passed since we started our journey and never once has Spock brought up the topic of our breakup. Any time we've spoken it is either about work, science or a new language we have discovered.
Had this been any other man I would assume he had forgotten all about our relationship and breakup, but this is Spock! And I know Vulcan's have incredible memory.
So, there are only two possible options; one, he is being considerate of my feelings and trying to maintain a professional relationship between us and doesn't know how to address the issue. (Which seemed the more likely of the two.)
Or two, he has no desire to rekindle our relationship.
And during the weeks he has been spending more time with Kirk, both on duty and off.
Though the two still had their odd quarrels they are getting along much better and work together as if they share one mind, always able to predict the other's moves before anyone else can catch up.
During the evening they have been playing games of chess or simply talking. I know from one of the conversations I accidentally overheard Spock has told Kirk about his mother's death and how he regrets never telling her how much he loved her.
That caused a lot of pain in my heart knowing that Spock could open up so easily to Kirk but could never tell me anything about well, anything.
Though the two of us still send time together it isn't as much as Spock and Kirk.
At the moment the two of us are sitting in the mess hall enjoying a meal and discussing the most recent planet we had visited (or at least I was discussing, he is just sitting there) and he continues to work on his PADD all the while.
"Spock?"
"Yes, Nyota?" he asks, never looking up from his PADD.
"Are you even listening to me?"
"Indeed." He finally glances at me. His face is completely serious and never betrays any emotion. "You were explaining that the language of Exidrite was immensely complicated and if you had not deciphered it when you had the Captain and Doctor McCoy would have been executed for war crimes."
A small laugh escapes me. "Glad to know you can work and listen to me when we're talking."
"Vulcan are capable of multi-tasking." He answers simply.
I smile at him before glancing down and I chew on my lip absently before returning my gaze to him. "Say, Spock?"
"Yes, Nyota." He looks at me once more but his gaze shifts to something behind me.
"I was just wondering if-…"
"Forgive me Nyota." Spock cuts me off as he rises from his seat both his tray and PADD in hand. "I have something urgent to discuss with the Captain. We can continue to conversation at a later time if that is satisfactory?"
"Of course." I answer him automatically.
He nods to me before walking away. I watch as he disposes of his tray and joins Kirk who is eating an apple he got from the dispenser and hands him the PADD. The two leave the mess hall in deep conversation, many of the crew moving out of their way as the two pass.
I cross my arms over my chest as I stare absently at my food, pain swelling in my chest. Unable to eat any more of my food I scoop up my tray and dispose of it myself before returning to the bridge.
Unsurprisingly, Kirk and Spock are already there still discussing whatever it is Spock had been working on earlier.
I quickly take my seat and turn my back on the pair.
"Mr. Scott," Comes Spock's voice over the comm. "Two for emergency beam out. And have medical on standby."
I can hear the urgency in his voice though it is difficult to tell. I mean, even when Spock did let his emotions slip it was only for a split second so I was still learning to identify them. The only person who seemed to be able to bring the emotions out of him and understand them is Kirk.
"Aye, aye." Scotty answers.
Over the comm I hear the gasp the engineer lets out.
"Cap'n!" he cries.
Unable to resist the urge and the fear that something terrible has happened, I get up from my station and run as fast as my legs can carry me to the transport room. I arrive a few seconds after the med team who are already working on moving Kirk to a stretcher.
My eyes widen when I see all the blood staining the transport pad, Spock's uniform and his hands.
Kirk lies on the stretcher deadly pale and his eyes shut tight.
"Let's go." McCoy orders as they run for the lift, moving past me.
Much to my surprise however, Spock moves along with them as his eyes stay locked on Kirk's face. I moved quickly to join them before the doors close. I get on the lift at the last second.
"What happened?" McCoy asks as he scans Kirk with his tricorder.
Spock is silent for a moment. "The natives attacked us shortly after we arrived on the planet and while we were fending them off one attempted to attack me with a spear." His fists clench behind his back but only I notice this from where I am standing beside him. "The captain noticed this and moved to protect me from harm."
"Shit, of course he did." The doctor curses. "Dammit Jim! Hold on."
They rush Kirk into the surgery room and Spock stands silently by the door as he waits for news of the captain's condition. Unable to just leave Spock or without knowing if Kirk is going to be okay I sit down in one of the chairs near the door.
During the wait both Scotty and the bridge call asking for news about the Captain and I answer them absently as I watch Spock. His face is the same mask it had been in the lift after his mother's death and all I want to do is reach out and touch him but given our breakup and how Vulcans are about physical contact I'm not sure how he would react to such a thing.
I open my mouth to speak when the door opens and the doctor exists with Kirk and the nurse. "Set him up on the bio bed in the private room and give me his vitals as soon as they're up." He orders.
"Yes doctor." Chapel agrees as she hurries to do as he said.
McCoy turns to face Spock.
"How is he?"
"He's gonna be just fine." McCoy replies with a sigh, his shoulders sagging in relief. I also notice that Spock's body relaxes just a bit. "Did you think I'd let him be anything else?"
"When will he awaken?"
"I don't know Spock." He glances in the direction of the room Kirk is currently in. "Could be a hour, could be a day. It's hard to say."
"You will inform me when he does?"
"You know I will." With that McCoy disappears inside the room.
I get up and move closer to Spock. "You okay?"
"I am adequate Nyota." He answers stiffly. "Inform the bridge that I shall arrive shortly. I need to change my uniform."
Without even waiting for my reply (Which is completely unlike Spock) he turns on his heel and walks out of sickbay.
Sighing, I leave also and head right back to the bridge delivering the news about Kirk's wellbeing and Spock's arrival.
Later that night I head to Spock's quarters to see how he is and I wait for an answer but don't get any. I try the chime again only to get the same result. "Computer. Locate Commander Spock."
A moment passes. "Commander Spock is in sickbay."
My eyes widen and I think that maybe Spock had been injured as well while on the planet and hid it so no one would know. Just the thought has my heart slamming painfully against my chest while I race down to sickbay.
It is the middle night so it is dark and only Chapel is awake when I get there and sitting at a desk. She rises to her feet when I get there. "Lieutenant Uhura, hold on-"
She starts but I completely ignore and rush into sickbay.
Spock is standing in the far corner over a bed where I realize Kirk is sleeping peacefully, obviously moved from the private room when he stabilized.
I sigh in relief and go to make my presence known when Spock speaks and I freeze mid step.
"I am sorry." He says so quietly I am not sure that I heard him though I know I did. "It is my duty as First Officer to ensure your safety but I failed."
Spock moves closer to his bed, never taking his eyes off Kirk's face.
"Instead, you were injured protecting me. That should not have happened."
I smile sadly at the scene before me.
"Jim…" he whispers desperately (a little shocking to hear him call Kirk by his first name) and there is such pain in his voice that anyone witnessing this scene couldn't possibly deny that Spock has emotions.
Part of me wants to go to him and tell him that it's not his fault. That he didn't do anything wrong. I want to do something just to stop him from sounding so hopeless.
I am just about to move forward to comfort him when Spock does something I never would have believed if I wasn't standing here right now.
Spock reaches out and takes Kirk's hand within his own. "I am sorry."
My mind sputters to a stop. I know what that gesture means and I know how much Spock doesn't like physical contact.
I had studied so hard about Vulcan culture and about the different gestures when I became interested in Spock to ensure I didn't offend him in some way.
I always hoped that he would take my hand of his own accord. That he would offer that touch of his own free will.
And he has, just not to me.
Silently I leave the room and walk briskly to the lift. With any luck, Spock will never know I was there to witness such an intimate moment.
My heart feels as if it has been ripped from my chest and I find it hard to breathe while I rush down the hall to my quarters ignoring the calls of protest of the people I bump into in my haste.
Once safely inside my quarters I slump against the wall and just let the tears fall freely down my cheeks.
A month has passed since that day in sickbay and though I'm a bit embarrassed by it, I have been avoiding Spock like the plague ever since. I mean, I will talk to him on the bridge when the situation calls for it but other than that, I do everything within my power to make sure we are nowhere near each other.
Right now, I am currently sitting on the bench on the observation deck watching the stars soar by as we head to Earth. It calms me greatly to sit here without having to worry about anything and to be lost in the stars.
Suddenly, the door swooshes open and Kirk steps onto the deck and freezes when he sees me sitting there.
"Oh," he says slowly. "Sorry. I didn't know you were here."
"It's fine."
"I… I'll…" he stutters. After a few minutes of awkward silence he turns to face me once more. "Are you okay?"
"Fine Captain." I snap bitterly but instantly regret it. Kirk hasn't done anything wrong. I know for a fact that he didn't purposely steal Spock from me and I don't think he even knows that Spock has feelings for him in the first place.
"Have I done something to upset you?" he asks as if reading my thoughts.
I cringe slightly at that. If Kirk can tell something is wrong doesn't that mean the whole crew knows as well? Well, that's just great.
"No, sorry." I sigh. "Just having a hard time."
"Because of your breakup with Spock?"
"How did you know about that?" I gasp. Considering hardly any of the crew knew Spock and I had been in a relationship I guessed no one knew we have broken up.
Kirk smiles a little guilty. "Spock mentioned it when I asked how things were going between you two."
Guess I should have seen that one coming.
"Yeah, things have been hard." I admit. "It's not easy to work alongside your ex."
"Breakups are never easy." Kirk states as he looks out at the stars.
"No offense." I glare at him. "But what do you know about breakups?"
Kirk sighs. "I guess I deserve that." He rubs the back of his head nervously. "Before we met in that bar I had been in a relationship with a guy named Franklin for two and a half years before he dumped me because I wasn't going anywhere in life. I guess I didn't handle it very well considering our first meeting and all the flings I had while at the academy."
I can't help but stare at him in disbelief. "You were in a relationship?"
"Yeah." Kirk shrugs. "I was crazy about him but Franklin was right to ends things when he did. I really was a screw up back then… Maybe I still am."
"You're not that bad anymore."
"Was that a compliment?" he asks with a playful smile.
"Don't let it go to your head."
"Too late." He jokes and I can't help but smile.
That's when something else dawns on me. "Hold on…. You're gay?" I regret the question the minute it leaves my mouth. I know how insensitive it is and Kirk could easily get mad at me for it.
However, Kirk just chuckles and turns back to the window. "I think bi is a better word for what I am."
"Never would have thought that." I say honestly.
"Most people don't know." He returns.
At that moment the door opens again and Spock walks in. He stops when he sees me.
"Nyota." He greets with a bow of his head. He then turns to face Kirk, his eyes softening ever so slightly. "Captain… I have finished my work if you are ready for a game of chess?"
"Sure." Kirk says, a smile I have never seen before lighting up his entire face as he walks towards Spock. The captain stops halfway between the two of us and turns back to me. "Uhura?"
"Yes, Kirk?"
"If you ever need someone to talk to…."
"I know where to find you." I finish.
He nods before he and Spock leave the deck and I am once again alone. Out of everything I have just discovered about James Kirk the one that stands out to me is the fact that he returns Spock's feelings.
The man I love is in love with another who also loves him. That's both good news and bad news.
So, though I still love Spock I know that I'm not the one he is meant to be with. He true partner is James Tiberius Kirk.
I have seen all the signs and I know that no matter how much it hurts I can't blame Spock or Kirk.
It isn't Kirk's fault that Spock loves him. Nor is it Spock's fault that Kirk loves him. It's not my fault that I love Spock even if he doesn't love me.
So though it hurts right now I will be okay. I may never truly move on but I will find someone else someday.
It doesn't lessen the pain I am currently feeling as I step silently out of the room and walk down the hall, a single tear sliding down my cheek.
Spock deserved to be happy, more than anyone else he deserves to be happy.
Even if it isn't with me.
"Be happy Spock." I whisper as I walk away from the man I love;
Finally able to let go of the love we once had.
So there you have it. My Uhura fanfiction. Like I said; I don't hate nUhura but I'm not a fan of her. And this is what should have happened between her and Spock in my mind because as I said I just can't see them as a romantic couple.
If you don't agree or don't like the story please don't leave hate comments. Your opinion may be different than mine but you don't need to hate on me for writing mine.
Once again, I had no beta-reader so any mistake you find is my own and I will correct it if you let me know.
I hope you enjoyed the story and please let me know what you think. Until next time, byes ^_^