Borrowed Hope

To be human sometimes surely wouldn't be so bad. The ability to sleep; to let yourself go and not think about anything for hours on end is particularly appealing. I keep gazing over at Edward as he tries to coax Bella to sleep. She is not having any of it, though I don't blame her. It's been 89 hours since I've seen Jasper, but Bella and Edward were apart for months. Everything looks better for them now. I've seen many versions of the future that center around my seeing Jasper again, and he doesn't seem too pleased with me in any version. I took off without letting him know, I only told Rosalie because she was there when I saw Bella's insane decision to throw herself from a cliff. I was gone minutes later. I fought the Volturi. Ok so there was no real violence inflicted on Bella or I, but I know how Jasper worries, I can feel it. I never want to scare him. He'll ask me why I didn't stop for one moment and take him with me. I feel my forehead creasing into a frown when I think of the pain that was inflicted on Edward in Volterra, and how Bella coped. I could not have had Jasper there. I could see him getting killed because of me, or me dying to save him. Neither was a vision I dwelled on.

The flight seems longer on the way back. I thought it would seem longer getting there, given the urgency of our mission. I don't recall much of the flight there however; I was trying so hard to follow Edward's plans. Now I'm doing my best to keep him out of my head. There are thoughts in here that he'd dismember me for having.

I don't think I'm wrong though. Edward has made his feelings for Bella very clear, and she wants to be one of us. Changing her is the best option. Not for Edward though. I know his views on her soul, and on killing someone that is not supposed to die, but when something happens to Bella that we can't stop, be it disease, or an accident…Edward will be straight back to Volterra and the Volturi will not let him away again. I love our family too much to subject them to that.

As he glances at me, I smile softly and force myself to concentrate on thinking about the flight, the weather and seeing Jasper again. The usual happy and carefree thoughts that won't arouse Edward's suspicions.

Bella seems surprised by everyone meeting us at the airport. I saw it coming without the help of a vision, Carlisle and Esme have been so worried about Edward. I quickly scan the crowd as Edward nestles Bella under his arm. I'm astounded she's still awake. Guess she really can't handle her caffeine.

I scan the faces quickly, my lips curling into a smile as I lay my eyes on him. If my heart could beat I know it would be racing. It feels like there are butterflies in my stomach, even though metaphorically that doesn't happen to vampires. He's just…there. Waiting for us. Well, me. The moment he sees me his lips curl upwards to match mine, and before I am even within touching distance to him I feel this overwhelming feeling of love wash over me. His arms reach out for mine, and he brings me close, gently running his hands along my arms. He's missed me terribly, I can tell. He's also angry but right now the relief emanating from him is remarkably endearing. Just when I think I can't possibly be anymore in love with him. We say nothing. We don't need to. This is perfect.

I try to push the thought of what is to come as far as possible. I hate fighting with Jasper.

Bella has been returned safely to Charlie. Although Edward has been completely forbidden from ever setting foot into their house again he is still there, watching her sleep. I feel so happy for them I can't even describe it, and Esme looks happier than I've seen her look since our abrupt departure all those months ago.

Now its just Jasper I have to contend with. I take a deep breath, although not for the need of oxygen. It's more about the courage. I head up the stairs to our room, pushing the door open slowly.
"Hey you…"

He barely looks up.
"Hi"

Boy this is going to be tough.
"So…on a scale of one to ten of how mad you are.."

He doesn't let me finish.
"I'm not mad. Well at least I have no fair reason to be. Given what Rosalie said you saw I'd have done the same thing"`

This surprises me.
"Oh."
"Make no mistake, I'm not happy about it, but I'm not mad at you for wanting to save Bella and Edward."

I nodded, sitting on the bed, lost in thought.
"What is it?"

"It's just…I saw you get angry."

His face was suddenly awash with confusion.
"Darling you know I'd tell you if I was"
"No I know that…that's why I'm confused"

Then he smiled that incredibly charming smile, the one he reserved only for me, and only in private. I felt the sudden wave of devotion envelope me, and in that moment everything was right. I put the thought of a fight between us to the back of my mind. It was the last thing that was going to happen. I was sure of this as he gently brushed his fingers across my cheek, capturing my lips in his as our bodies moved closer.

I lay in Jasper's arms, feeling content. I feel my lips curl into a smile. I'm not sure if it is his emotions I am feeling or my own. I'm sure that would sound disconcerting or at the very least annoying to other people, but the pure devotion that lingers in the air as I look into his eyes is so overwhelming I'm sure it's a mix of both. I love that. I love how he doesn't have to tell me how he feels. He still does though, during quiet moments like this. His fingers, that until now have been gently resting on my back, reach up through my hair. I watch his face, his eyes looking intently into mine as he runs his fingers through my hair, spiking it up. I love it when he does that.

We spent the night celebrating our return to each other, the reunion of our love, a mess of lips, limbs and unspoken desires. We didn't need words. As the sun rose higher in the sky, my thoughts turned to Bella, and what I'd promised her on the plane. What I was so desperately trying to keep concealed from Edward. I felt Jasper's body tense beneath mine, a frown carved into his marble-like brow.

"Alice?"

How could I have been so careless? He must have felt my fear, my anxiety. Now I'd have to tell him.

His eyes look at me, it's like he's searching for a reason for my emotions.
"Alice what is it?"

There was no point in lying to him, he'd know.
"Jazz…it's not something I think you'll want to know."

I watch his face as it grows more worried.
"Alice you're starting to scare me. Tell me."

I take a deep breath, though not for the need of oxygen. His topaz eyes are still searching mine for the truth.
"I made a promise to Bella…" I began.

The crease in his brow softened as he gently caressed my arm, coaxing me to continue.
"Jazz…I promised to change her."

It took all of a second. Breaking away from me he hissed loudly, moving from the bed. I could have sworn I jumped.
"Why?! Alice this…it's not like she's dying! It's not like it is for Carlisle, you think you'll just be able to take a bite then stop?!"

I closed my eyes, tucking my body in on itself. This is how I'd seen things unfold in my vision.
"Jazz let's be realistic…Bella is meant to be with Edward, and sooner or later something will separate them, it's ridiculous to keep exposing her to danger."

The moment the words were out of my mouth I regretted them.
"Danger….you mean me?" He spat back at me.
"No, no! I just…I mean all of it Jazz. Any one of us could have slipped at her birthday, that's why I think she should be changed, it's what she wants!"

He calmed a little, although I didn't think it was the effect of my words. I'm sure he could feel just how sorry I was for bringing up what happened. He moved closer.
"Alice…it's too dangerous to change her. I don't want to lose you."

I frowned, nodding.

"I know Jazz. I don't know if I can do it, but I promised her."

Before Jazz could say anything I felt my body go rigid. His arms wrapped quickly around me as my gaze unfocused.
"Baby…what do you see?"

Moments later I smiled.
"It seems Bella has come to her senses and decided to hold a vote. Carlisle will be willing to change her."

I giggled softly, kissing Jasper.
"I guess Edward will kill him instead of me."