Lord Hausen gritted his teeth together and rested his hand against the cold stone wall of the castle as another bout of pain ripped through him. Now that he knew it was there, he could almost feel the poison trickling through his veins, slowly killing him from the inside out. It was like it was eroding away at his very being. He had always known that his brother wanted the throne for himself, but he had never realised the extent of the hatred and envy that festered beneath Lundgren's polite façade. Now, it seemed, he was paying for the oversight.
The marquess had never thought he would go out like this, alone and filled with regrets. After decades spent making difficult decisions for the good of his people, he was used to the solitude and guilt of a heavy heart. But he had always assumed that he would have company – his soldiers, his family, his generals – by his side when he died.
If only he hadn't turned Madelyn away when she came to him with joy in her eyes and love in her voice. If only he had tried reaching out to her before his spies told him that she'd had a child. If only he had been there to protect her when the bandits came.
Feeling every year of his age, he closed his eyes. He hadn't been there for Lyndis' birth, but, because of his stupidity, he might be there for her death. His brother had delighted in reminding him that he was the reason the young swordswoman's life was in danger. If it weren't for him, she would still have been in Sacae. She would have been as safe as any in their war-torn world.
If Lyndis dies because of me…
If she did, that would be it. There would no longer be any reason to fight the effects of the poison his brother was slowly feeding him. His legacy would be gone, and he would go with it.
But she wasn't dead yet. She had outwitted his brother so far, and there was a chance she would continue to do so. As long as she was alive, there was hope.
And as long as there was hope, he would keep fighting. If she reached the castle, he owed it to her to be there to meet her – to show her the land where her mother grew up.
I wonder if she has her mother's laugh, he thought, remembering the way the simple sound had filled the halls of the castle with life and joy. Madelyn had always been easily pleased. At first, he had assumed that that was how the Lorcan chieftain had stolen her heart; now, he wished he had taken the time to ask her.
He would just have to ask Lyndis instead.
Hausen pushed himself off the wall. The movement sent him swaying, his head still dizzy from the pain. For a moment, he thought he would fall – then, he steadied himself, straightening his back until he regained his full height. He knew his face was gaunt and pale, but in that moment, he felt every bit the stately lord he had once been. He had defeated stronger and wilier foes than his brother, with much less at stake. He refused to be defeated now.