One: At the Mercy of Forces Beyond My Control
Sunday, March 2nd, 8:30am
Dear Red,
I know you don't accept interviews any more, you don't read fanmail, and after everything you've been through you just want to be left alone, but you're the only person out there who can possibly understand what I'm going through right now.
My name is Andrew J. Downey. I go by AJ. Today is my tenth birthday.
And I woke up hearing voices…
"AJ, why are you taking so long to come downstairs?" His mother sounded concerned. Clearly she'd heard him fall out of bed. "Are you feeling okay?"
AJ coughed, swallowed, rubbed his eyes, lurched to the left. It was like he didn't have control of his own legs. He'd fallen out of bed after a nightmare… a dream about Professor Oak, about Pokemon, and the sudden raised chorus of whispers muttering over and over...
leftrightupupupstartleftupdowndownrightanarchystartupupdowndownleftleft
This can't be happening.
This isn't real. This is another dream. This can't possibly be real.
He'd heard the story. Everyone had, even all the way out here in Johto. A boy who heard voices crossed the entire Kanto region with his team of Pokemon, guided by a spirit he later referred to as Lord Helix, and he didn't eat, sleep, or stop until he made it all the way to the Indigo Plateau and defeated the Elite Four.
The voices, he'd said. The voices guided me through the impossible.
Red. The kid with the Omastar who became famous, and then went into seclusion. The voices had left him, he'd said in a final statement, and he had played his part in Helix's will. He would take on any challenger who came to the Indigo Plateau, but other than that, he was a recluse, a hermit.
That was three years ago.
And now?
AJ felt seasick as he walked in a circle around his room, touching everything, looking at his bookshelf, the TV, his bed, starting to go down the stairs and then quickly running back up them. He'd stop every now and then to go through his pockets, to check his backpack, all the while the chorus of voices whispering in his head. There seemed to be thousands of them.
upupdowndownleftrightleftrightababastartaupadownaANARCHYleftleftupupabastartup
"I'm coming, Mom," AJ called downstairs, finally, his voice hoarse.
"Better hurry!" she replied. AJ could smell pancakes. "You need a big breakfast before you go talk to Professor Elm!"
It took almost twenty minutes to make it down the stairs. AJ doubled back a few times. It was as if he was no longer in control of his actions. He told his legs to stay still but the cacophony in his mind never ceased, and for some reason his body responded, running up and down the stairs, reading bookshelves, looking through his (still empty) backpack. By the time he entered the kitchen, the pile of pancakes on the plate in front of his usual seat looked cold, the syrup congealing.
"Are you sure you're all right, sweetie?" Mom looked concerned, understandably, AJ was pacing about the kitchen instead of sitting down to eat. "Not hungry?"
"I'm fine," AJ blurted out, amazed he could think straight through all of the whispers. "Just… just excited is all."
"I know it's a big day," Mom said, standing up and clearing the dishes. "Every child dreams of it. I just want you make sure you're safe and ready to have fun on your adventure."
"Yeah," AJ nodded, going through his bag again. "Yeah, fun."
"Oh, I have a surprise for you!" Mom picked up a bundle and gave it to AJ, who put aside his backpack and tried as hard as he could to focus. The whispers were getting louder.
updownupupaaaaapokegearwegetthepokegearhimomupdownadownupleftrightleftrightpokegearthepokegearupupaaabbpokegear
"... Pokegear?" AJ whispered.
His mom looked surprised, and AJ flushed, not realising she'd heard him. "That's right!" she said. "It's back from the shop, just in time for your trip! Happy birthday!"
achievementgetpokegearupupdownabaaaaastartstaranarchydemocracypokegearmommomthanksmomgomompokegearupdownupup
"Thanks," AJ took the pokegear and attached it to his forearm, nodding as she offered to keep Daylight Savings Time for him while he was on his trip.
"Stop by after you get your first pokemon!" Mom said, but AJ could barely hear her over the voices, rising like waves in his mind.
Pokegearupdownaaabbleftleftrightupleftweneedtobeatmistyupdownhelixrightleftabaaaachikoritaforstarterupleftdownaabbstartdown
AJ lurched out of the door, obeying the roaring mass of voices, trying as hard as he could to be calm, to act normal, though it was difficult to act normal when the voices led him around the perimeter of his home, New Bark town, at least three times, all the while muttering, bickering, whispering.
updowndowntotodileleftleftrightupdowncyndaquilleftastartbstartaaabupdownleftrightchikoritadownupdownstoppraisingthehelixupdownleftleft
By the time he'd made it to Professor Elm's house, AJ was almost in a panic. Maybe if he told the Professor about what was happening, maybe he could fix it, maybe he could explain what was happening. But he knew how he'd sound. He'd heard stories on the news, stories of other kids who'd claimed to hear voices leading them on Pokemon quests. They were laughed out of trainer battles and most of them ended up exposed as frauds or checked into mental institutions.
No.
I can't tell the Professor, he thought. I can't risk it.
Professor Elm looked concerned as AJ wandered around the lab, touching things, a sheen of sweat on his forehead, as if he were concentrating very intently on something.
"AJ? AJ? Are you listening?"
"Sorry!" AJ blurted, then clapped a hand over his mouth, still looking anxious. "W-what did you say?"
"I said that you can choose one of the Pokemon on the table over there," Professor Elm looked even more concerned. "Are you sure you're all right?"
"Nervous," AJ said, trying to focus on the Professor and not the voices, which had risen to a shrieking cacophony.
aaaaaacyndaquilchikoritacyndaquiltotodileaaaabbbuprightdowndownupdownrightleftupupdowndownRIOTPCdemandsbloodtotodileaabbstartleftrightleftleftstart9
"It's normal to be a bit nervous, getting your first Pokemon," the Professor said, resting his hand on AJ's shoulder briefly. "But don't worry, I'm sure you'll excel as a trainer, whichever Pokemon you choose."
When the Professor stopped talking, AJ felt the voices take over again, and he lurched over to the table where the three pokeballs sat. He tried to move smoothly, let the voices guide him without resistance, but after he walked into the bookcase three times, he coughed and tried to focus on the table.
updownleftleftleftrightupdownstartanarchydemocracyuprightleftdownbabbbstartupdownleftrightdownupuplefta
AJ closed his eyes, letting the voices have their way, and suddenly he felt solid wood hitting his shin, his hand close around a poke ball.
"So!" Professor Elm exclaimed, unable to hide his relief that AJ had finally made a choice. "You've chosen Totodile!"
AJ opened his eyes and pressed the button on the poke ball. There was a flash of red light, and suddenly a small blue alligator pokemon with wide eyes sat in front of him on the table, giving him a toothy grin.
"Prrt-GRM," the Totodile purred, and hopped over the table and into AJ's arms. Its eyes were wide, but trusting. "To-to."
And despite his fears, AJ smiled for the first time that morning
Because even though they still cried out in a chorus, never-ceasing, the voices were pleased.
TotodileTOTODILEtotodileaaaaupdownupdownTOTODILETOTODILE!
… I know nobody's going to believe me if I tell them what's happening to me, but I have to tell someone or I really will feel like I'm going crazy.
The voices control me, guide my footsteps and who I talk to and which Pokemon I picked for my first adventure. The only thing that felt right in those first couple of hours was when Totodile jumped into my arms. It was like the voices had been appeased, like I had made them happy.
I don't know if this is how it happened to you, but if what everyone says is true, then the only way to survive is to do what the voices say.
So I'm writing you this letter. I may write more, if I have time. Whatever keeps me going, right? And right now you're the only guide I have. You and a chorus that tells me what to do.
If there's any way you can talk to me, respond to me, tell me what to do.
I didn't ask for this. I doubt you did either.
Please, tell me if this is the will of your Lord Helix, or something else. I swear I'm not crazy. Just at the mercy of forces beyond my control.
Please write back.
AJ