So, I'm hapoy that you guys enjoyed the prequel to this Scars. I wrote this the day after Scars as a seperate one-shot but either of these could be read alone though it may make more sense to read Scars first. Again, I don't own HP and the kindly JK has given us her characters to play with how we wish. I hope you enjoy my take on Lavender post-war :)
It was their 6 month anniversary and she was going to meet his parents.
Most of his siblings were going to be there, with their own significant others.
The thought of seeing her old classmates after all this time, made her feel slightly nauseous. Some of the old insecurities that had once plagued a 17 year old Lavender, started coming back. Would they hate her? For living whilst their own lost brother lay in the ground? Or would they instead pity her for her scars and demons.
But Lavender Brown was no longer that girl. No, she was an adult going to meet her boyfriend's family for the first time. She didn't want their judgment and she didn't need their pity.
It hurt her, to spend so little time with him. Their relationship was long-distance as he was still in Romania, looking after those damn dragons.
She worried for him, but she knew he loved his job, and those dragons so she accepted it.
She accepted every part of him. From the night terrors, to the whimpering of Fred's name in his sleep and the desperate way he would sometimes clutch at her, as if she would suddenly disappear like a wisp of smoke, she would accept and love every part of him.
As a consequence of his still living in Romania, they only saw each other a few times a week. Not nearly enough, but he had started making plans to move back to England.
To be with his family.
To be with her.
Bringing herself back to the task at hand, Lavender slipped her favourite pearl earrings in her lobes. As usual, she neglected any other kind of jewelry. Charlie found her scars beautiful and she wore them as if they were the finest diamonds imaginable.
As if to spite Hermione (who she had learned was now engaged to Ron) she decided to wear a new dress from Charlie. It was blood red and clashed horribly with the claw marks on her chest.
She loved it.
The material was of finest satin. He had brought it home for their 3 month anniversary from Romania. It felt as soft and gentle as Charlie's fingertips, when they caressed her skin. Although his hands were calloused, (and she blushed at the thought of what those hands had done to her) they were soft and his touch conveyed nothing but love.
He had chosen the fabric especially. He knew she was ultra-sensitive to textures on her skin, and he accordingly purchased a dress that she would feel comfortable in.
He knew her inside and out.
For the evening, she chose to wear her hair down. She had plans, big plans, for the maze of damaged flesh on her back but for tonight she would not attempt to embarrass Hermione for staring (which she knew she no doubt would) nor make anyone feel uncomfortable for being curious.
It was a gift she did not extend to many.
Naturally, she wasn't about to cover her chest. Let them see.She thought. Bill had scars on his face. They were not as deep nor quite as obvious as hers but it was a small comfort to know that at least the family weren't unprepared.
She knew Charlie had not told them anything about her. He wanted them to come to their own conclusions when they met her.
"Be yourself" He had told her. "If they do not love you as much as I do, it is their loss"
It was the first time he had told her he loved her in words.
She knew it was true. The month after they were officially a "couple", they had been at dinner and she had accidentally dropped her drink all over herself. Instead of feeling mortified, she laughed at her clumsiness. Without anybody watching (for it had been a Muggle restaurant) she siphoned off the water from her trousers. When they made eye contact again, he had looked at her with the most smouldering look in his eyes, full of want and desire and need and love.
She knew what it was for she had seen her parents stare at each other like that in happier times, before her mother was forced to be bed-ridden and her father had taken his own life in his grief and despair.
He came up behind her now and placed his calloused hands on her shoulders.
"You look beautiful" he said, and he leaned in and kissed the small expanse of skin between her earlobe and her jaw.
She let out a moan of longing, it had been nearly three days after all, but she managed to compose herself.
Laughing, he pulled her up and hand in hand they walked out of the small apartment.
She landed heavily on the ground, and stumbled. Heels were obviously not designed for apparition she mused. Charlie's strong arms came around to rest on her waist and prevented her from falling.
He draped his arm possessively around her as they made their way to the bright, green front door and when they arrived, he rapped his knuckles against the little glass window.
"What if they don't like me?" The words just came out, and she couldn't prevent them. She felt boiling hot yet freezing cold at the same time. Unlike with Charlie, it was immensely uncomfortable.
"Their loss." He said, and he captured her lips in a searing kiss.
Unfortunately, this was the moment that his mother opened the door. She was a bustling woman and her face was round and happy.
She coughed rather loudly and they broke apart, both too caught up in the kiss to notice her standing expectantly in front of them.
"Mum-" Charlie started to say but he was cut off as Mrs Weasley launched herself into his arms.
"Oh Charlie, we haven't seen you for so long. We've missed you so-" She was cut off as Charlie managed to extricate himself from her grip and stand back beside Lavender.
"Mum, this is Lavender, my girlfriend" He said the word in a defiant way, as if daring her to challenge him. She knew that this was the first time he had ever brought a girl home.
"Oh hello dear" Mrs Weasley smiled at her face before trailing her eyes downwards, no doubt to give Lavender the "once-over".
She stopped as soon as she reached her chest.
"Oh" It came out as a whisper and Lavender knew that Charlie had not told his mother a single thing about her.
"Come on babe, let's get inside. It's freezing." She knew this was for her benefit because he was clad in a thin cotton dress shirt that she had bought him the week before. He wore no cloak. He had no need for it.
They sidestepped his mother, who was still standing in the doorway looking lost and made their way to the dining table.
The feast could have rivalled anything at Hogwarts. Her eyes raked over a roast chook and a huge bowl of roast potatoes. She only realised now how hungry she was.
Before they could sit down, another red head came sidling up to greet them.
"Merlin Charlie, it's been a while." Bill shook hands with his brother and turned to Lavender.
"Lavender" He shook her hand heartily and smiled warmly at her. Bill knew that they were together. Bill knew that they were in love. Bill knew all about the scars.
There was no pretending with Bill. He understood completely in a way that Charlie couldn't. It hurt her as much as it hurt him that he couldn't understand the nausea, the exhaustion and the general rage she felt around the full moon.
It was a curse that tainted her but she took it in her stride.
Bill led her to the table and she sat down beside him, with Charlie on her right. A quick appraisal of her dining companions wiped the smile that she had previously worn.
There was Harry, sitting beside Charlie's sister Ginny. She remembered them both very clearly for Ginny had taken it upon herself to say very cruel things about her when she had been briefly with Ron. She had heard Ginny talking about her in the girls bathroom when she thought Lavender wasn't there.
Speaking of her ex... could she even call him that? What she had had with Ron could barely be considered romantic, more the uncomfortable fumblings of randy teenagers who were simply too curious to let thoughts like embarrassment stop them.
Her cheeks slightly flushing at the thought of her juvenile escapades, she looked to Ron's right. It was Hermione Granger.
She had always thought Hermione was too stuck-up, too mature, too grown-up as a teenager. Looking at her now, Lavender realised she had been the silly one. Her problems then were so trivial she was ashamed to admit that they had once dominated her life.
Her gaze followed Hermione's and she noticed Ron was looking in the same direction. They were staring at her scars.
It was not curiosity, or appraisal she saw in their eyes. It was pity.
She tensed up in anger, and Charlie who had previously been serving potatoes for her, clutched her hand in reassurance.
"So Lavender." Said Ginny, and it was not with kindness that she said Lavender's name. It was mocking, and cruel.
"How long have you and Charlie been together?" She glared at Lavender, and her eyes quickly glanced over the finger marks on her neck, and the fresh-looking wounds on her chest.
"About six months" She said simply. It was a challenge Ginny was issuing. As if she wanted Lavender to take the bait and make a fool out of herself. In front of Charlie.
"And we are only meeting you now?" She turned her glare on Charlie now. He fidgeted uncomfortably but it was Lavender who squeezed his hand this time.
"Ginny, stop it." It was Bill that spoke this time, and Lavender felt a flare of gratitude for him.
"Charlie doesn't need to tell us everything about his life especially when he's seen how you first behaved with Fleur."
Ginny had enough grace to look ashamed.
"So dear-" It was Mrs Weasley now. She was glaring at Charlie and her tone was tense.
"What is it you do for a living" She asked tersely.
"I petition for the rights of werewolves and their place in society. Trying to undo the damage that evil Umbridge did. Her Anti-Werewolf legislation is still used as a reference in many cases against werewolf rights." She took a bite of her potatoes at this point, and she heard Bill murmur in agreement.
"So you aren't a..." Evidently Mrs Weasley couldn't say it.
"A werewolf Mum." It was Ron who spoke. She was shocked at this. She certainly had not expected him to come to her defence.
"Are you?" Asked Mr Weasley, and he quickly became fascinated with his peas.
"No." Her answer was curt. "But that does not mean that I am free of certain…" she decided to pause for dramatics. "Afflictions"
The whole family stared at her before moving their gazes on to Bill, who promptly dropped his fork.
"Lavender got off a lot worse than I did" He said quickly, and she narrowed her eyes. He was lying and he didn't want his family to know how bad his lycanthropy was.
He didn't meet her gaze again.
After mindless chatter about something at the Auror office, something that she had not expected Ron to be interested in, the conversation again turned to Charlie.
"Are you still going to continue on in Romania dear?" asked Mrs Weasley and Lavender could tell it was a frequently-asked question.
"Actually, I'm in the process of moving back Mum, Lavender and I are trying to find her own place." His tone was light but like Ginny, it was a challenge for anyone to dare oppose what he said.
"Moving back to England?" Mr Weasley's tone was one of bewilderment.
"But you love Romania, and your job there"
Charlie shrugged, but Lavender saw his ears turning slightly pink, a tell-tale sign that he was getting agitated. She stroked one of the burn marks on his hand to try and get him to relax.
"I've been offered a job up in Wales, helping to look after and breed dragons. The money's good and I'd rather be closer to home." He gestured around the table.
"Family is important." He said simply.
"Are you pregnant?" said Ginny and her tone was harsh and accusing.
"Ginny" The sound of her name came from all four sides of the table. She didn't look remotely abashed but rather determined as she stared at Lavender.
She was coughing now, as she had just taken a sip of water when Ginny's question had rattled her.
Charlie whispered a spell and her airways cleared instantly. He was glaring daggers at Ginny and his ears which had previously been a light pink, were as flaming red as his hair.
"No" She hissed the word at Ginny, wishing it could embarrass her the way she had just been.
Ginny stood up at this, and her mother and father were protesting, Harry looked up at her and his face showed disappointment.
"Because if you weren't, I don't really see what my brother sees in you." She stormed out of the room and Lavender just stared after her like a deer caught in headlights.
"I am so sorry dear." Molly Weasley was sympathetic now, and obviously hideously ashamed of what her daughter had just said.
"She was totally out of line" said Percy, who for the first time that evening, had spoken up.
"I'll go and speak with her." Mr Weasley got up, and it was evident everyone had finished eating. Mrs Weasley flicked her wand, and the empty platters zoomed into the kitchen.
Percy followed her, no doubt to help with the dishes and left Bill, Charlie, Lavender, Ron, Hermione and Harry all at the table.
"I'm really sorry she said that" said Ron. "It was really rude."
She was shocked that Ron was standing up for her, but she appreciated the gesture all the same. She smiled at him and said-
"It's okay." He finally made eye-contact and his blue eyes were shining with apologies. Somehow she didn't think they were all about Ginny.
"No it bloody isn't. What is her problem?" Charlie was angry now, and he was breathing deeply.
"She had no right to speak to you like that."
She looked at him, but he was watching Bill now. No doubt to get some brotherly advice on "what to do when the family hate your missus"
Bill just sighed and looked at Fleur. There was love shining in hiseyes and she was reminded of the way Charlie often looked at her.
She smiled. She had Charlie no matter what and that was worth over a thousand Ginny's.
She looked away and she noticed Hermione again. It seemed that Hermione hadn't shifted her gaze from her chest and arms the entire meal.
The piteous look that she was receiving made some of her earlier anger boil over.
"What" She hissed, and Hermione jumped and looked ashamed at being caught staring.
"Stop pitying me. I don't need it and I don't want it." She said the words deliberately. They were harsh, but true. If Hermione had questions, she would have to ask herself.
Ron looked away, and Bill and Fleur both glanced at Hermione. Hermione was bright red and was suddenly fascinated with the tines in her dessert fork.
"I think I might go and help your Mum with the dishes" she turned to Charlie as she said this and he nodded in understanding.
Glancing one last time at Hermione she still felt irritated. She knew Hermione and Ginny were judging her for her past mistakes and immaturity but she wasn't that girl anymore. She had grown up. She was forced to grow up and when Hermione had previously known her, she had been a child. She was an adult now.
She had changed.
They had all changed.
She stood up, Harry looked at her in embarrassment. No doubt he had been staring and coupled with the earlier shame of his girlfriend's shameful display she was glad to see he wasn't looking at her in pity.
She turned around and made her way towards the kitchen.
What had previously felt like a good idea, did not appear to be one now. Her stomach dropped when she heard raised voices and her name in shrill tones.
"She, could be a..a...werewolf and we had no idea. How could Charlie spring this on us. And I'm trying not to remember how she acted with Ron."
She flushed pink at this. She was also trying to forget.
"Mum, calm down, she obviously knows Bill and..." It was Percy speaking now. She felt a rush of gratitude for him.
"BILL!" Mrs Weasley was shrieking now. "Bill has been HIDING things from us. I can just tell."
Before she could carry on however, Lavender had had enough. She would not be made to feel like an outsider or like she wasn't good enough for Charlie. If she was good enough for him (and she knew with absolute certainty that she was) then she would have to be good enough for his family.
She knocked on the kitchen door and opened it.
Mrs Weasley looked up and she promptly turned bright red. Even if Lavender hadn't heard her complaints, she would know that she was guilty.
Percy gave her an odd look. His eyes didn't dance over her scratches but instead they stayed on her face.
Breaking the awkward tension, she spoke softly.
"I was wondering if you needed any help with the dishes or bringing out plates or anything?"
"Oh yes, dear. Over there" Mrs Weasley waved her wand vaguely at a cupboard on Lavender's left and it sprung open revealing plates.
"I'll just go and... put these on the table then." She walked over, and feeling a surge of Gryffindor courage, she decided to pull her hair up.
There was no use hiding.
As she turned around, Mrs Weasley gasped and put her face into her hands. She nearly stopped to comfort the distressed woman but Percy was there first and patting her on the back.
"I know they're ugly." She said. And there was a bite of anger in her tone. "But they're just scratches. And Charlie doesn't care. And you shouldn't either."
"I'm sorry." Mrs Weasley looked up and her face was shining with tears.
"After Bill, it's just so hard to see another innocent person so...so" Evidently she couldn't say it.
"Mangled." said Lavender helpfully.
Mrs Weasley nodded in confirmation.
"Well I'm not ashamed." said Lavender proudly, and with an added hint of insolence she laid her fingers splayed over the claw marks of her chest.
"I fought and I survived. This is what I have to live with." She picked up the plates and started to walk out of the small kitchen.
Just as she reached the doorway she stopped.
"For what it's worth, I'm not the same girl I used to be. It's been 3 years and I feel ashamed when I think about the way I used to act." She left the kitchen and she heard Mrs Weasley sniff loudly.
When she arrived back at the table, it was in the middle of another tense silence.
Charlie was glaring at Hermione and Ron and Harry was looking away. Bill looked extremely disappointed and Mr Weasley, who had come back from Ginny's room, without her, she thought smugly, looked very tense.
It was Fleur who broke the silence.
"Oh Lavender, let moi help you with these." She stood and grabbed the plates out of her hands.
She bustled around the table, putting them in front of everyone and smacked it quite loudly in front of Ron. He jumped at the loudness of it and Charlie smirked at his discomfort.
"You are all being quite silly." Fleur again. Lavender had always liked her for accepting her completely without question.
"Oui, Lavender is scarred but she is living with it. Bill has scars and you are not all gawking at him." She touched her arm tenderly.
"And if you have questions, then you should ask." It was Charlie who was rushing to her defence now, he laid his arm on the table quite menacingly and Lavender saw each and every burn on his calloused hand.
She sat back down beside him, and squeezed his hand reassuringly. She also swivelled her body around so she was completely facing him and she gave him her best smile.
It was for Hermione this time. She heard the girl inhale quickly.
"Does it hurt?" It was Harry who asked.
"A little. At times. Not now but sometimes it does." She said and she turned back to face them.
"I'm really sorry Lavender." It was Hermione and her voice was very quiet.
"Don't be. It's in the past and I'm not ashamed. These scars have changed me for the better I think." And Charlie nodded beside her and laid an arm possessively around her shoulders. She leaned into him and felt a surge of pleasure go through her.
He wasn't ashamed of her.
On the contrary, he wanted his family to know she was his.
And he was hers. Her name, tattooed in the vines of scarred flesh on his arms proved that.
"Plus Greyback's dead. So it's not like I need to be worrying if he's going to come back and finish me off or anything." Her voice didn't tremble but she still felt tense when she said the name.
"I only wish it was me who could have done it." Said Bill and his voice was bitter.
"Greyback did that to you?" said Ron, and his voice was shrill just like his mothers had been.
"Don't be so surprised Ronald. He was vicious even in human form. Or did you forget?" It amazed her how Charlie could be as cold and harsh as Ginny.
She saw his eyes flicker over Bill's mangled face and then back at Ron.
"Scars don't mean anything" said Harry, and he pushed his fringe back defiantly.
"Quite right." Said Mr Weasley, and he pulled his collar back to expose the bright white dots on his neck.
Where the snake had bitten him.
"No they don't." She agreed. "But they are a part of me forever. And I'll wear them with pride because I fought, and I nearly died and I came out better for it."
She took a sip of her drink and to her left, she heard Mrs Weasley bustle in carrying a bowl of trifle. She glanced at Lavender leaning against Charlie but she made no comment.
She started to serve and Lavender was pleased to see that she was offered the first helping.
The conversation drifted to weddings. Apparently Ron and Hermione's would be getting married in 2 months.
"You're welcome to come Lavender" Hermione said quickly, and she could tell that she meant it.
"I'd love to." She said, and gave her a warm smile.
It was nice to see that Hermione had overcome her old school-day prejudices.
After dessert, Mr and Mrs Weasley had both drifted off to the kitchen for tea. Percy had left citing "important work, must be done Mother. Can't wait" and he had left.
Bill, Fleur and Charlie had gone for a walk and at his insistence, she stayed behind. That left her in an uncomfortable silence sitting with Ron, Hermione and Harry.
Instead of sitting down on the cushy armchair beside the fireplace, which was crackling merrily, she stood up and started looking at each of the picture frames hanging on the wall.
There was Charlie and Bill, 8 and 10 respectively, smiling up at her and waving.
There were the twins laughing and Ron the toddler was crying about something in the background.
Ginny and Ron were playing some kind of Muggle clapping game, and she smiled at how young they were.
The whole family were together, with a pyramid in the background. Ginny looked withdrawn and Charlie was smiling in the background, waving at her.
"How do you do it?" It was Ron. "How do you just go on and not think about them?"
He gestured to her scars but she knew that the question had a deeper meaning.
"How do I not think about them? And what I've lost?" She was kind and answered the rest of the question for him.
He nodded in confirmation.
"I don't. I think about them all the time. But I think about the cause, and how I got them and what it means to be alive. And for that I'm proud of them. You can be proud of your brother too." She looked him directly in the eye now.
"It is a blessing to die for a cause, because you can so easily die for nothing." She quoted.
He swallowed nervously and his Adam's apple bobbed up and down. Hermione squeezed his arm in comfort.
"You've changed a lot." Harry said but there was no malice in his voice.
"For the better, I think. You're a lot more..." He went pink and didn't finish the sentence.
"Mature." She supplied the word for him. She wanted their approval. They were Charlie's family and she wanted them to understand her.
"Yes, I suppose I am. I was so immature in school, and silly. I'm embarrassed really." She swept her eyes over Ron at this.
"But I'm not that person anymore. It feels so long ago, don't you think? As if it's in another life."
Hermione nodded in understanding.
"And besides, I have plans for all this." She gestured at her chest and back.
"What?" said Hermione, with genuine curiosity.
"Well, you'll have to wait and see." She smirked. She knew patience was not Hermione's strong suit.
It was then that Charlie swaggered in. He saw Hermione and Ron on the couch, with her hand still clutching his arm and Harry on her left.
"Ready to go babe?" He smiled at her, and she blinked dazedly. It really had been too long.
"Sure." She reached out to hold his calloused hand and with a last wave at the three still sitting down, she and Charlie left.
"So how do you think it went?" He asked her, and he draped his arm around her shoulders.
She burrowed into the nook between his shoulder and arm and felt completely protected and warm.
"I think it went well actually. They eventually warmed up to me." She smiled at him and he leaned in to kiss her.
They were in her bedroom now and they were sitting on the bed, their legs were entangled and it was delightful to just be with him, not even doing anything.
"I'm really sorry about Ginny. She was totally out of line."
"It's fine. She just thinks that I'm not good enough for you and that I'm the same idiotic teenager that I was 3 years ago." She laid her hand over the scratches on his chest.
A perfect mirror image of her own.
He huffed slightly but didn't press on.
"Besides, your mother warmed up to me eventually. Although I heard her having a rant to Percy about me." He frowned at this but didn't comment.
"She was shocked that Bill hadn't told them all about how bad it can get around the full moon." She stroked his face. There was a slight hint of stubble around his jaw and it was rough against her sensitive fingers.
"He doesn't want to hurt them. It would just cause them stress that they don't need. If he can handle it, then there's no reason that they should know." His hands were stroking her back and she could feel his index finger following an imaginary path in the carnage.
"I agree" she said "If it was me, I wouldn't want my family to know either."
She trembled slightly at the word family. She would never have her own again.
"Hey." He pulled her chin up and looked straight into her eyes.
"One day, my family will be your family and you'll always be welcome."
Her eyes widened at this. She knew that she and Charlie had something special and deep and wonderful but she hadn't thought of marriage. All she knew is that she wanted to be with him forever and marriage was something that she hadn't considered.
"Really?" She said, and her entire face lit up. Charlie's home would be her home. She couldn't wait to bind herself to him in every way.
"Yes." He smiled her favourite crooked smile. "Not today, but soon. I promise."
He leaned in and she met him halfway. He was kissing her as if they had been separated for years and it was desperate and full of want and absolutely wonderful.
His fingers made quick work of her dress and it slipped over the side of the bed. His own shirt and trousers followed and she gasped at the sensation of her ice cold skin meeting his.
It was something she could never get used to because Charlie surrounded her. He was everywhere, all around her and as they came together, she knew that they were in it together no matter what.
Two halves of the same whole and in that moment, Lavender felt utterly complete.