We Have Cookies
I don't own Star Wars.
Luke hung above a shaft on Bespin. This would be so much easier if that moron Darth Vader hadn't chopped of his hand! "Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father." Vader said that like a statement. Well, ha! He would prove that meanie wrong! "He told me enough!" Luke said triumphantly. "He told me you killed him!" Luke grinned with pride. Vader would never be able to find a comeback for that! "No." Vader said. "I am your father." Luke gasped. "NOO! NO, NO, NO!" He cried out. "YOU SON OF A-" Vader stopped him. "I wouldn't say that son. You'd be insulting both your father and your grandmother. Do you want me to wash your mouth out with soap?" He demanded. "No father." Luke mumbled. "Wait, father sounds so stuffy. Can I call you Daddy Dearest?"
"No."
"Daddykins?"
"No."
"Daddy?"
"No."
"Dad?"
"Fine."
"YAAY- you owe me 22 years of birthday presents."
"Luke, come to the dark side."
"I'll never join you!"
"Come to the dark side; we have cookies!"
"Oh, that's original."
"If you join us, I'll give you those birthday presents."
"Yeah? Like what?"
"X-box."
"Have one."
"X-box 360."
"When would I play it?"
"I-Pod."
"Again, when would I use it?"
"Candy."
"Tempting, but no."
"Brownies?"
"Can you even cook?"
"Wii?"
"We already went over this."
"A new lightsaber?"
"The dark side only has red lightsabers."
"So?"
"Reds a girl colour."
"A new hand?"
"I think you owe me that already. You did cut off my old one."
"A pony?"
"Do I look like a five year old girl to you?"
"A new wardrobe?"
"I am not a girl…"
"A star destroyer?"
"Nah, someone might blow me up."
A super star destroyer."
"I think I'm a bit young to fly one of those."
"A super star destroyer and a crew for it."
"I'd rather have my X-wing."
"I'll rule the galaxy with you."
Luke stood up to go at that. Just as he was about to say yes, he slipped down the shaft.
"Oh, great." Darth Vader mumbled. "The Emperor is going to kill me."