Monster
By The Meepy Freak
Having spent most of my life isolated in a lab, I learnt more about life than would be expected. Both of my elder siblings, Adam and Bree, made sure of that. I desperately wanted to fit in with them, but I was different. I did not really enjoy the childish activities they played and the countless arguments between the two. Instead, I was interested with the inventions Mr. Davenport was building. The inventions were like a complex puzzle, stimulating my mind. However, that did not stop me from feeling envious of the relationship my siblings had. I did not want to be the odd one out. I wanted to enjoy the mindless games they constantly played too. Nevertheless, that was never meant to be. I was wired differently.
I tried to be just like my siblings. I even mimicked my elder brother Adam for about 2 years. Obviously, it was my way of showing Adam how much I admired him as a little kid, but even then, I got tired of being someone I was not.
It was not like me to play Hide and Seek without calculating the probability of different hiding places around the lab or using my super senses. It was not like me to wear huge clothes without worrying of falling. I was tired of acting. I was tired of 'fitting in'. Everything just made me agitated, increasing the risk of Spike gaining control over my body.
Once I finally changed my habits, my siblings seemed to ignore me more and more. They constantly teased me, and Adam even started tossing me around the room more often, despite my requests. I found myself restraining Spike in my body all the time. It was too much. I felt like a warrior. Even worse, I was determined that I was a traitor to my family.
Spike loved using my insecurity against me. A moment of weakness meant that he could finally be free. He could rampage around and release my inner rage. Even though I could remember anything when I was Spike, I still felt his intentions: to kill anyone who had harmed me in anyway. Theoretically, this was an amazing defense system. However, in reality, it was a nightmare. The people I love harmed me in many ways they never seemed to have noticed. Still, Spike never realized the difference. To him, the people I love were also the enemies.
I remember the first time I turned into Spike. I was so young then that the transformation left me crying for days. Bree and Adam were so scared of me. They stopped playing with me for a while in fear that Spike would appear again. Fortunately, Mr. Davenport explained everything to them, and they started including me again. However, if they knew the constant struggle I had with Spike, would they be terrified of me again? Would Mr. Davenport say that I was too dangerous to go to school? I loved school! That was why I acted clueless of the monster inside of me, even if I hated to pretend.
Furthermore, this seemed to be all my fault. Why should my siblings or anyone else suffer from my unpredictable glitches? I was a coward, using anything to satisfy my selfish needs. I wanted to go to school, so I risked the safety of everybody around me. A true hero would never choose that route. I was a fraud, a villain almost. The only thing that convinced me of keeping my troubles a secrets was because Spike did not do too much damage yet. I was restraining Spike. That was the cause of my problem.
However, I could not stop fighting. I either had to suffer my idiotic choices or the rest of the world did. That was why I was stuck in such a predicament. Nothing in this situation was simple. Even if I was a super genius, I was still human. I only had so much strength. I was driving myself insane trying to escape Spike. Nevertheless, I promised to never give up fighting Spike.
The truth was that a villain lived inside of me. I could never escape him, no matter what I tried to do. He was supposedly my bodyguard. My siblings loved him more, yet they still do not know what he is capable of. He was an evil force determined to get control. The worst part was that as I got weaker, he only got stronger. He never got tired of fighting. He was a monster.
Nevertheless, Spike was still me when he attacked. Anybody who did not know about my bionics only saw him as me. Therefore, I was responsible for his actions. I was the one who got bullied because apparently Spike pudding-cupped the entire football team on my first day of school. I was the one on Principal Perry's bad side because Spike insulted her numerous times. Honestly, do I still have to make up for what 'I' did if it was not really me? I was different, and I was punished for it since I could never choose to run and hide (Mr. Davenport had literally replaced his 'flight' response with Spike.). It was unfair. Yet, it was the life I had to live.
Truthfully, I hated living this way, yet I had no choice. I was born with Spike (as a part of my bionics). I never chose him or anything. However, I was still stuck with the monster inside my head. Even if his intentions were satisfactory, his actions would never be. It was almost as if Hitler was living in my mind despite my protests. I had no choice in anything. I was simply suffering because I was made like this.
How could I stop Spike though? I could not keep fighting since he would soon win, no matter what I did. I had to find Spike's weakness. That was the only logical way around this. However, the only thing I thought of involving Spike was that he was programmed to protect me. Could he really be a monster then? Sure, he harmed others, including myself, yet he was programmed to do so. He had no choice just like me. Others were terrified with him, but he could not stop. He was suffering too. This war was killing both of us.
We were both in this together. Spike and I were both fighting. We were both bullied. We were both teased. We were both unappreciated. We both were exactly the same. We had the same body, and we even shared the same brain. We didn't do anything to deserve this betrayal. It just was like that from the beginning. We never fit in with the others since we were always different. We were always together no matter what. Spike was me, and I was him. We were interchangeable. Therefore, if he was a monster, then so was I.