A/N: Wow, it's been a long time since I've written Noah/Rachel, weird since I used to love them so much. Anyway this came to me when I was listening to Lady Gaga's "You & I" and I had to write it out. It was a lot of fun to write Puck again, so warning for swearing.

I do hope you enjoy it.

–

'baby, you and I'

noah/rachel

"I'm a New York woman, born to run you down
So have my lipstick all over your face
Something, something about just knowing when it's right"

–

i.

He knows that people think he's changed, but goddamn if he wasn't born a badass and would die a badass. He's just figured out punching shit isn't always the best way to be the 'better man' or whatever. Point is, having a kid, that shit changed him, and Quinn can pretend all she wants that it never happened- but fact of the matter is that he thinks of Beth every day. He knows that he's got to be a better man for the next time God decides to make him a dad.

The only person who doesn't question his attitude is Berry, who has chilled out from the last year. Maybe it's because she had Hudson kissing her in the halls now, the thought of them together makes him twitch a little, but he just shakes it off, it must be cold in the room or something.

He's not really sure why the hell he gets involved with Zieses, but he does and once you go down that road there's no going back. Sure she was no Quinn Fabray, but she was tough as hell and wouldn't put up with his bullshit and it sort of reminded him of another brunette who knew she was too good for him. Not that it meant it hurt any less, but he knew that guys like him didn't end up with chicks like her.

Lauren understands more than he knows, because she's kind of been there and feels sorry for him, so sure she goes to second base with him after Sectionals, and he's perfectly fine with their arrangement until he sees Berry crying in the hallway and all he can think is "Fuck" because he's always been pretty stupid where she's concerned.

So he kisses her, no big deal. That is, until she goes and tells Hudson, who shows up just in time to clock him and be done with it. He knows that he's a pretty shitty when it comes to being a friend but he swears that he's not going to just leave Berry all alone left to watch Hudson and Santana get it on. How he ends up at her house watching Disney movies while she cries, he doesn't know, but fuck all if anyone thinks he's less of a man for it.

ii.

When Valentines rolls around he's in that damn supermarket picking out chocolate like a pussy, it's sort of weird because this is where he used to buy slushies. He looks over to the machine and doesn't feel anything but guilt, since he sort of did ruin a lot of people's lives thanks to that damn machine. No wonder he drove his mom's Volvo through the front of the store after stealing the ATM.

Not the smartest thing he'd ever done, but after he grew a fucking conscious it became a lot harder to be a badass. He didn't really know what he was doing until the cops were handcuffing him and his mom was crying and praying and words like "juvy" and "juvenile delinquent" were floating around him, then he knew he fucked up real good.

He snapped himself out of that particular flashback to where the candy in front of him sat. He grabs two boxes from the shelf, pretending that it's sort of an accident, even though he knows, he knows, why.

Lauren eats every piece and glares at him, but he finds it sort of funny. He knows that she sort of digs him, so he thinks it's a lot easier to go after her.

And he totally doesn't notice Berry's smile as she pulls a piece of chocolate out of her backpack during Glee and eats it. Not at all.

iii.

He's been called an idiot a lot in his life, but he's never really believed it until he's drinking in Rachel Berry's basement, while she's totally shitfaced and Quinn is bitching about her body because that's who she is now. He knows he orchestrated this whole thing and he didn't really mean for it to end up with Brittany dancing like a stripper and Kurt's gay boyfriend to decide that maybe he wasn't quite as gay as he thought.

But he was having a fucking awesome time, because the alcohol was sort of leaking into his brain and even though Rachel was dressed like a granny she still was his hot little Jewish-American princess and he wanted her to have at least one night of fun before she went on to Broadway and whatever the hell else she'd do when she was famous.

So on Monday when all the other gleeks were hungover and puking, he wasn't. The Puckosaurus wasn't a total badass for nothing, he had done so much drinking over the past four years his liver might as well be vaporized. He didn't get hungover any more, but it was funny as shit to watch his friends- because fuck you if you didn't think he called them friends- stumble around on stage.

But after the week was over and he held Berry's hair as she puked into a bucket crying over why she was so much uglier than Quinn and why Finn just couldn't understand that they were supposed to be together that he realized that he never wanted to see her drink another drop of alcohol if he could help it that.

iv.

When Holly Holiday shows back up out of fucking nowhere and starts singing about touching and sex and god knows what else because he can't exactly focus, he realizes it's been a long ass time since he's had sex. So when Lauren offers to make a sex tape with him he jumps at the chance because he wants to go back to having sex because as fucked up as it is, he feels nothing when he has sex.

That doesn't mean his eyes don't stray to where Berry is dancing in her stupid tights and red skirt that he swears he once put his hand under a year ago. And when Santana practically comes of out the closet with Brittany his eyes definitely don't glance over to where she's sitting all alone and isolated, her eyes unfocused.

He's done a lot of stupid shit for Rachel Berry but when she comes to him and asks him to help sing "Afternoon Delight" with the Celibacy Club, he doesn't feel like turning her down but god that's gonna knock a damn hole the size of Texas in his street cred. Still, he puts on the stupid ascot and pretends to give a shit about celibacy for her. It seemed like everything he was doing was just for her.

He shows up to the meeting and listens to Quinn's lies about hickeys because he knows just as well as everyone else does where that hickey came from. He notices Rachel's eyes fall and he feels like an ass for pointing it out, but she really has got to learn that Finn is so not a knight in shinning armor.

Some days he wishes things could be as easy as they were two years ago, even if life did sort of fucking suck.

v.

The moment Rachel comes into glee club with a broken nose and the idea that plastic surgery is best for her is when his resolve of staying the hell away from her crumbles into nothing. All the anger he's had towards her just spills out of his mouth because, goddamn, someone needs to tell her the truth. He knows that she doesn't really remember what he says after Finn tells her she's beautiful, but at least he said it.

He's not really sure why everyone in his damn school wants to be Quinn fucking Fabray, because she is probably the least perfect person he knows. She and Berry have this love/hate thing going on, but he never thought she would be so rude enough to basically tell Rachel she should change her face.

He hated being on the outside, he hated pretending that he didn't want to help her, but there wasn't much he could do. So he ends up in the girls bathroom and while Berry's looking all scandalized and shit, he's made up his mind that he's going to get her to go along with his and Kurt's plan one way or another because she deserves to love herself.

He's not really surprised when she actually shows up, in one of her ridiculous outfits looking like the damn fourth of July. He is surprised that her eyes are red around the rims and she's obviously been crying. This was a necessary Barbra-vention, he knows that it was sort of his idea, but he's okay with letting Kurt get the credit, because he really needs to learn to not care about Rachel Berry.

So when he smiles like an idiot because she shows up to their 'Born This Way' performance with her original nose and her t-shirt, he plays it off like he's just happy that they've all come together like they have- no matter how gay it may sound.

vi.

When he didn't think things could get any fucking worse Jesse St. fucking James has to show back up and make everything ten times worse. Now he had to deal with two douchebags who would only end up hurting Berry. He was getting tired of being the knight in shinning armor because that isn't really his style and everyone on planet earth knows it.

He can't lie when he says he's sort of relieved that Finn punches the idiot and gets them both thrown out. He also breathes a sigh of relief when he loses prom king to Karofsky but wants to punch something when Kurt is made Queen. Not for the first time he stops to ask where the fuck is the justice?

By midnight Lauren has disappeared to god knows where, probably home. She doesn't exactly keep him in the loop, but when he sees that brunette sitting on a bench outside the gym, eyes puffy and hair falling down, he offers her his hand, noticing the ugly red mark on the side of her face.

"Come on, Berry, let's get you home." He says, brushing a finger against the angry welt and she only winces slightly.

"Quinn and I had a little heart to heart." Is all she offers and in a way it's all he really needs to hear from her.

He carries her to his truck, her tears spilling onto his tux, his heart heavy. She falls asleep somewhere between the local park and her house, and he doesn't have the heart to wake her so he ends up carrying her past her sleepy dads mumbling something about seeing them at temple and that Jesse had an emergency and had to leave. Because even if he hated the douchebag, if he made her happy he wasn't about to ruin that out of revenge.

He thought he might hate himself a little for changing so much as he drifted off to sleep that night.

vii.

New York is sort of fucking crazy and he knows the second she steps off the plane she'll never want to go home. He knows from when they were six and she told him all about Broadway and from when he had made out with her on her bed and her signed RENT playbill had landed on his head from where he hit her dresser.

He knew a lot of shit about her, not that really helped with the whole getting over her thing. So he watched as Finn made puppy dog eyes at her and encouraged him to go after her. Mainly because he wanted to see her reaction, or rather, he needed to see her reaction. When she turns Finn down in the middle of New York he's not sure he's ever felt more proud.

Then of course Finn has to be all dramatic and go and kiss her right fucking center stage and she has to smile at him like an idiot. Sometimes he thinks his life might as well be some great fucking tragedy. The show goes on and he lets the music pulse through him, which really is the best therapy he's ever known.

So when they lose and Finn kisses her again, her smile isn't quite so bright and that stupid organ in his chest keeps whispering at him to hope, hope, hope.

And fuck it, because hope is really all he's got left.

viii.

Lauren dumps him about two weeks after nationals because she's quitting glee and he's just hurting her reputation at this point. He knew this was coming, Lauren doesn't even like to sing, so he watches her leave, and there's a mutual understanding of a 'thank you' for a lot of things. Mainly just having someone to lean on for the past semester.

He stumbles across her one afternoon towards the end of the school year, Finn's not by her side for the first time since they got back from New York and she's just staring at a poster for some musical in the auditorium. Her face is torn and he feels bad for her, because he's pretty sure that no matter how much she may say the opposite- she has no idea who the fuck she is either.

"Sup, Berry?" He asks, sliding next to her on the stage, watching as her small frame jumps from being startled.

"If you must know, Noah," She started in that way that had once made him want to set himself on fire but that he had grown to love, "I just broke up with Finn."

Jesus, how many times could she break up with a guy before he got the hint?

"Sorry, Berry. Sometimes shit just isn't meant to be, y'know?" He says gruffly, because he's sort of complete shit when it comes to feelings.

She looks over to him, like she's never really understood anything he's said before until this very moment, and it's really fucking eery. It's like she sees straight fucking through him, and he's not sure how comfortable he is with that.

"You put the candy in my back pack!" She exclaims out of nowhere and he looks over to her.

Well, fuck, not really a way to back out of this one without being a total asshat, but he refused to be that guy anymore. He was pretty proud of who he was now and that sort of meant a lot.

"Yeah, that was me." He confesses, his eyes not wanting to make contact with him, but her small hand finds it's way to his and her cool fingers are soothing agains his hot skin.

"You took me home after prom; you defended me against Finn; you set up the Barbra-vention- everything I've needed this year- it's come from you!" She gasped, looking over at him, her eyes about ten times bigger than he's ever seen them, and he can't help but feel like a puppy backed into a corner, because damn she's put everything together and he isn't sure if he feels like thanking God or running for the hills.

"I thought Finn had done the candy and the Barbra-vention. I am such an idiot." She slapped herself in the face, and he chuckled a little because she's like the cutest fucking thing he's ever seen sometimes.

ix.

Suddenly her lips are all over his and he's got both arms around her to make sure they don't fall off the stage, but he's sort of distracted by the fact that Holy shit Rachel Berry is kissing him again and her lips taste just like cherry and she's so fucking small and he's not really sure why his heart hasn't exploded yet.

When they break apart, he knows that this is his second chance and he's got to say something to her because it's not or never for them and thank god he's smart enough to realize it this time around.

"Look Berry, I'm sort of terrible with this kind of shit but I've sort of fallen in love with you-" But he's shut up again with her lips on his. He pushes her off gently, curiosity licking his insides.

"What about not wanting to get attached before Broadway and New York?" He asks stupidly, sure he's ruined the moment, but her bright smile tells him he's said the right thing for once in his mostly waste of space life.

"Sometimes you just know when something's meant to be, Noah." She says in that bossy tone of hers and before he knows what's happening he's smiling like some kind of idiot straight out of a dumb romantic comedy.

"Guess I need to start looking for jobs in New York then, huh?" He says with a smirk.

x.

Nothing, and he means fucking nothing, can beat the smile she gives him after that.