So, this was going to be part of my other story, Babysitting, but I didn't feel like it fit there, so I gave it a whole life of its own! I love being in charge! So, yeah, here it is. As always, reviews absolutely make my day (let me know if you think everyone stayed in character)! Enjoy!
"Agent Coulson, there you are," Director Fury said, coming toward him.
"Yes, Director?"
"I need you to report to my office with Agents Barton and Romanoff."
"Yes, sir," Coulson replied. "We'll be right there."
Fury didn't respond, but simply started walking in another direction, presumably to his office to await their arrival. Coulson hastily collected Clint and Natasha from the shooting range (it took all his authority to get them to leave a shooting practice without an exact and good reason) and led them to Fury's office.
"Come in," Fury said when Coulson knocked. Natasha and Phil sat in the two chairs. Clint opted to lean against the wall and act bored.
"This had better be good," Natasha muttered in Russian. Phil closed his eyes and prayed Fury didn't speak Russian.
"Agents, I would like to introduce you to one of our new recruits, Agent Maggie North. Agent North, the lazy ass propping up my wall is Agent Barton, this is Agent Romanoff, and that is Agent Coulson, who will be your handler."
"Hold on a hot second," Clint jumped in, straightening and coming to stand beside Natasha. He crossed his arms. "Phil is our handler."
"Yes. And now he will also be handling Agent North's missions," Fury said.
"No," Natasha said simply, subtly brushing her hand against Clint's leg in a private show of support.
"That isn't your call to make, Agents," Fury said, glaring at them both.
"Agent North, hi, I'm Phil Coulson," Phil said, offering his hand to her. She took it and shook, but glanced uncertainly between Natasha and Clint.
"I do not mean to intrude…" she said politely. "I don't want to break up a team…"
"There, you see? She can't join us. We're already a team," Clint said. "No offense."
"None taken?" Agent North said.
"Agent Coulson, would you please talk some sense into your team? Agent North will be joining your practices and missions starting now," Fury said. When Clint and Natasha both opened their mouths to argue, he said firmly, "Dismissed." They snapped their mouths shut and left huffily.
"Agent North, if you'd come with me, I'll show you to your new quarters and the gym…" Phil said, embarrassed by his agents' behavior. He would have to talk to them later about that.
"Thank you. And please, call me Maggie."
Phil walked Maggie to the dormitory wing and showed her how to lock and unlock the new door. She had a small bag of personal effects, which she left on the bed beside the stack of fresh linens, and went with Phil to the gym. When they entered, Clint and Natasha were taking out their anger on each other. Perhaps he shouldn't have brought Maggie in just yet. The Black Widow's fury was something to behold in and of itself, and Hawkeye was not one to be dismissed, either. In fact, he was probably the only agent in all of SHIELD who could hold his own against his partner.
"Shouldn't you stop them? They could really hurt each other!" Maggie said, staring at them. "What? Oh. No, they'll be alright. I think it would be best if we left them for a little while. Have you been to our cafeteria yet?" Phil tried to recover and get Maggie out of there.
"I have. Maybe I should join them," Maggie said thoughtfully, brushing off Phil's attempt at saving the situation.
"You'd better let them work their hostility out first," Phil told her honestly. "Are you sure you wouldn't like a cup of coffee or something?"
"Oh, I see. Yes, of course, I'd love some coffee," Maggie said, finally catching on to Phil's warning.
Phil and Maggie walked to the cafeteria and he ordered them two cups of coffee. Maggie grudgingly accepted hers and sipped it. It was as terrible as ever. They stayed and chatted idly about missions and weapons until the coffee was gone.
"Do you think they're done yet?" Maggie asked. Phil checked his watch.
"I'd give them at least another... two days," he replied.
"They can't last that long," Maggie said, clearly not believing him.
"Oh, they won't fight the whole time. They also have to talk things over. And they do like to get sleep when they can," Phil replied. "Just give them time. They'll come around."
"We've decided we don't need another team member," Clint told Phil three days later.
"Any particular reason?" Phil asked, sighing to himself. Good thing Maggie wasn't here for this…
"Good morning, team!" Maggie said, joining the party in Phil's office. Phil took out a couple of aspirin and swallowed them with some coffee, knowing what was about to go down.
"No it isn't," Natasha grunted, glaring at Maggie (and the world in general) over the rim of her second cup of coffee.
"Oh, um…" Maggie said, caught off guard.
"Mandatory two week trial period, agents," Phil said, stepping in before things got out of hand. "Maggie, please don't talk to Agent Romanoff until at least halfway through the third cup of coffee."
"Phil…" Clint growled.
"Not my rule. Talk to Fury if you must. But that's how it is, agents. Now go start working in the gym," Phil said, gathering up his stuff to take to a handlers' meeting. "And that does not mean beating up Maggie, got it?"
"Die world…" Natasha muttered in Russian, sipping her coffee. "Too early to be alive…"
"Uncle!" Maggie screamed from between Natasha and the red gym mat. Natasha got off of her and calmly accepted a water bottle from Clint, though she wasn't breathing hard, sweating, or thirsty from her bout with the new agent.
"I think that was a new record," Clint remarked drily, watching Maggie just lie on the mat.
"I don't think it's fair to take amateurs into account," Natasha replied, tilting her head as she watched Agent North crawl over to her stuff and gulp from a water bottle. "Want to have a turn?"
"I thought you'd never ask," Clint said, grinning. He and Natasha walked onto the mat. As soon as they were both within the bounds of the white border, they started attacking and defending. What was the point of waiting to be ready to spar? An enemy in the field didn't ask if you were ready to go before shooting. They became a whirl of kicks, spins, punches, and jabs.
Maggie watched from her spot on the sideline and felt a mixture of awe, jealousy, and depression. On the one hand, Clint and Natasha were SHIELD's best – legends, you could say – for a reason. It was hard not to feel a sense of awe watching them do what they did best. On the other hand, she was right out of her SHIELD training, and had been paired with these two. They were performing moves she didn't know existed, didn't think were even possible, as if it were perfectly normal, and countering with even more fantastic moves. She was the best in her recruit group (that's why she was assigned to this team, after all), but this was not only a different league, it was a completely different game. And on the other other hand, well, she didn't think she'd ever be good enough to play this different game. These two had been training and fighting from childhood, and seemed to have a naturalness to their movements that no amount of hours in the gym could produce in her. Agents Barton and Romanoff were perfection in motion. She was a slightly above average field agent. Maggie stood up, collected her things, and went to look for Director Fury.
"Agent North. Come in," Fury said at her knock. Maggie went in and sat down across from Fury. "Is there something I can do for you?"
"I want to be reassigned," Maggie blurted.
"Agent North, the trial period – "
"I don't need to hang around for two whole weeks, Director, to know that I don't belong on this team, sir," she interrupted. Fury pursed his lips and studied her.
"I understand that Agents Romanoff and Barton can be difficult at times," he began.
"Sir, they are a team. They. Are. A. Team. Not Agents Barton, Romanoff, and North, but Agents Barton and Romanoff. That's the team. That's just how it is. I'm not… I'm not upset about it. Much. But sir, changing the way they work would be extremely detrimental to the entire dynamic. They're like two halves of a whole, and there's no room for another person. Besides," she added, "I'm nowhere near good enough to keep up with them. Not in a thousand years."
"I put you with them so you could learn from them, Agent North," Fury replied, absorbing what she'd said.
"And I would be more than thrilled to take classes and seminars taught by them in future. But, if I may be so bold, sir, you can't change their team dynamic. It just won't work, and I refuse to be caught in the middle of your battle of wills."
"This is not a battle of wills, Agent," Fury said, glaring.
"Isn't it?" Maggie retorted. Fury frowned and sat back in his seat. "I mean no disrespect, Director. But isn't that what this is all about? You know they're your best agents, and it's no secret that they do whatever they can to get out of doing paperwork, and they never do anything by the book, and they often get themselves into extremely difficult situations during missions. Isn't putting me with them supposed to be a punishment for them, to show them who's in charge?"
"I'll have you reassigned, Agent North," Fury replied, extremely angry, though his face betrayed nothing. "Pack your things and report back here for your new placement. Dismissed," he growled.
"Thank you, Director," Maggie said, hastening to do so.
"Have you seen Maggie?" Phil asked the next day at lunch of his two agents.
"Fury reassigned her," Clint said casually.
"What?" Phil said, shocked. On second thought, he shouldn't really be that surprised.
"Yeah, apparently she didn't like this team, and she requested an immediate transfer, which, out of the kindness of his soft heart, he granted her," Clint said smugly.
"What did she ever do to you to make you drive her out?" Phil asked, knowing his agents too well for them to pull that sort of bullshit on him.
"It wasn't her fault Fury assigned her to us," Natasha said. "But he should know better than to mess with the best team SHIELD has for the sake of a pissing contest."
"I suppose I can't argue with that," Phil agreed, sighing. "Next time, though, would you let me handle it? We don't need you scarring all our new agents for life."
"I don't make promises I'm not completely sure I can keep," Natasha replied, her grin absolutely feral.
"Sure thing, Phil. Next time we're assigned a new agent to the team, we'll just tell Fury no and leave," Clint added.
"I guess now would be a bad time to ask for a raise," Phil muttered to himself as he left his agents in the cafeteria and headed back to his office.