Forgive me John

by LordOfTheLies

A poem I wrote for my friend Makayla. From a Tumblr Prompt: There are several different chess games going on throughout the series. Does he play John? Himself?

Forgive me John for I have done you wrong

It's the day after I fell

And it's already been much too long

Forgive me Sherlock but I miss you so.

It's been a week since you fell,

and I have been quite low

I miss your smile, your laugh, your wit,

without it my life seems like a dark bottomless pit.

Love makes you do funny things,

when you imagine your best friend

in heaven with wings.

The chess board that you told me not to touch,

lies in the corner collecting dust.

You played yourself over and over again,

perfecting you strategies when the stress got so great you needed a fix.

It's a three patch problem you'd mumble for hours on end,

but you said you'd be healthy for me, your friend.

So you gave up the smoking to grow old with me,

but the chessboard is a constant reminder of what never was,

throwing me back in my pit when I try to break free.

Sherlock it's been a month and I don't know if you hear my prayers,

but I hope you hear this one loud and clear,

and forgive me for what I have done.

I touched the chess board you held so dear,

I rearranged the pieces, knocked over the king

and in my frustration I did a horrible thing.

I threw that damn chest board across the room,

in the hopes you'd appear and yell at me one last time.

But when that didn't happen, I realised with gloom

that our future together was already doomed.

And so I sit here now, staring at my hands as I realise

that the tremors have come back,

due to the companionship I so obviously lack.

So Sherlock listen closely because I have one last thing to ask of you,

and answer in all honesty because you know I don't like to be misled.

Sherlock could you please, for me, just not be dead.