Rey awoke with a start from her dream. It was becoming more and more common. Flashes of light, screams, the heat from an explosion and then stillness before she bolted awake, her heart racing. It was like her body was waiting for something to happen, something that lurked just beyond the edges. Rey sat up, breathing deeply to calm her racing heart and looked to the holo on her desk. Middle of the night, not even close to morning but it was too late, she wouldn't be able to sleep now. To many thoughts had been racing through her since the rebellion arrived at a small forgotten base and made camp. The preparations and cleanup had kept everyone busy for a few days but as things settled down the weight of their loss had begun to settle. Even the steadfast Leia was quiet and introspective. Rey made her way to from her room to the command center where several people were seated at screens transmitting messages to a long list of old rebel bases in the hopes that another resistance sleeper cell was out there to receive it. She spotted Poe at a larger screen to her left and made her way over.
"What are you doing up?" Poe asked as she approached.
"I could ask you the same question." She said, gesturing to the screen which showed all sorts of machinery some with numbers and indicators she wasn't sure the meaning of.
"I've catalogued what equipment is here" he said pointing to the symbols and pictures on the screen. "And now I've run diagnostics on all of it. Most of it is broken in one way or another, some of it just from not being used in so long. I'm thinking that with what we have maybe we can put together a small squadron. Maybe ten ships. Something we can send out to start recruiting more fighters." He trailed off.
They sat in silence for several seconds. Rey knew he was hurting, could feel it rolling off him in waves, exhaustion, grief, disappointment but determination too, always hope.
"I think that sounds like a good idea" she offered reassuringly "Rebuilding the resistance is all we can do right now, keep our heads down and keep moving forward."
"Yeah." He replied, still looking a little defeated "So what are you doing awake again? Did Leia call a meeting?"
"No, just couldn't sleep. Is there something I can help with up here?" She asked hopefully.
"Nah" he replied, "everything is pretty quiet but the door is open right now if you wanted to get some fresh air."
While they spent most of their time inside the bunker working they did explore the small planet for food and other supplies and everyone was welcome to go outside when the door was open. Rey took Poe's suggestion and made her way to the exit planning to take a short walk in the woods, clear her head. She was out of sight of the bunker, using a small holo for light when she felt it. That buzzing at the back of her skull that told her the force bond was open. She felt eyes on her back and took a deep breath before turning to face Kylo Ren.
She looked to his face, trying to discern if he would try to attach her through the bond, no doubt he was still angry about what had happened on Snoke's ship, but he was unreadable, shut off in a way she had not seen before.
"Hello Rey." He said not moving, just looking at her intently.
"Why are you here?" Rey demanded, "I don't want to see you."
"It's not by choice" he stated blankly, "The connection opened without my help."
Rey was silent, not knowing if this was the truth, not knowing what to say if it was.
"You look tired." Kylo remarked studying her face closely. Rey's mind jumped to her dreams, the screaming, the silence.
"Jedi don't have nightmares you know." Kylo said, reading her thoughts.
"Stay out of my head!" Rey returned, pushing him out of her mind, pushing far enough to glimpse his. Anger, darkness, nothingness… and then that glow, that small spark of light still burning. She ignored it this time pulling back, not wanting to see anything good in the monster before her.
"Jedi don't hate either" Kylo continued, taunting her "and I know you hate me, I can feel it."
"You're right" Rey admitted, "I do hate you." The connection snapped, he was gone before she even had time to see him react. The forest around her solidified once more, the cool night air chilling her. Angry with herself for giving in to his taunts Rey made her way back to the base. She was so deep in thought that she almost ran directly into Leia, not seeing her until she stood directly in her path.
"Rey, " Leia began, "is everything alright? You seem distracted."
Rey looked at the kind woman who had become more of a mother to her than she had ever known. Her calm, collected presence was soothing. She considered lying, making an excuse about being tired and going to hide in her room but decided better of it.
"I thought the connection with Kylo Ren was gone." she started, "But it happened again, just now in the woods. I don't want it to. I'm afraid he'll find a way to use it to find us."
Leia looked sad for a moment. "I don't think that is possible." She said, reassuringly. "I don't think the force works like that. You are drawn together because you are opposite, darkness always calls to the light." Here she paused, clearly upset to know that the darkness was once her son.
"But that's the problem." Rey admitted, "I can sense the light in him. So much darkness, but light too and I don't know what to do about it. There should be no light left after what he has done. I don't understand the force even with Luke's training and now he's gone."
Leia smiled sadly. "Luke may not be able to teach you anymore but he is not gone. As long as the force is with us, he is too." She paused, "As for my son, he is corrupted but he has so much of his father's heart, I would be surprised if he did not have conflict still."
"But his conflict means nothing." Rey said vehemently, "He killed so many of us, destroyed the rebellion. He made his choice."
"If there is one thing that I have learned over the years Rey, it is that nothing is absolute. Anyone can be redeemed, even a Sith." Leia explained and Rey knew she was thinking of Darth Vader, her father. Luke had saved him from the dark side after so many years of pain and darkness. She knew that Leia held out hope for her son for that reason but Rey could not bring herself to accept that Kylo Ren could ever be good. Not even with a spark of light.
Rey remained silent, not knowing how to tell her General that she thought she was wrong. Leia broke the silence.
"Rey, the rebellion is failing." She started, "there are so few allies left and even less are willing to fight anymore. We need a miracle, we need to try to dismantle the First Order but we can't do it through fighting battles we can never win. It's time to try a new tactic." She paused, making sure she had Rey's full attention, "We need Ben Solo on our side, and we need to you help get him there."
Rey's head was spinning again. Leia had spent the better part of the morning convincing her that the best course of action was to try to turn Kylo Ren back to their side, something Rey though to be impossible. Unfortunately, with Rey being the only one who could directly communicate with him Leia knew she would have to be the one to try. Rey argued against this plan, certain it was a fool's errand, they could never convince him to side with them, he was too corrupt with power. He had killed his own father! But Leia was persistent and when Poe joined them and surprisingly agreed with the General Rey knew it was pointless to argue anymore. They thought this was a real strategy and now she was their weapon.
They wanted her to cultivate the bond, try to learn to open it at will. Speak to Kylo Ren and try to chip away at his allegiance to the dark side. Show kindness. Remind him that his mother still loved him. The thought of showing him compassion made Rey feel ill. He deserved nothing. He deserved the hatred she felt for him. But she was a rebellion fighter and her mission was set out for her. Two days later, when she felt that familiar pull once again, she steeled herself for what she had to do.
Kylo Ren looked more put together now, his clothing dark and severe. The scar on his face still noticeable but less angry looking but the dark circles around his eyes gave him away. The Supreme Leader looked like he hadn't slept since the battle on Crait. He didn't speak to her this time just stood there looking exasperated that he was stuck in this bond, something must have been going on in the First Order for him to be so distracted.
"your mother wants you to know that she loves you." Rey blurted out, deciding to get right to the point and hit him with it before the connection broke. It was her mission to make him remember the family he had, the love he had felt before Snoke.
He flinched at the words like she had struck him. He glared at her, "my mother" he began, "my mother left me. Dropped me with an uncle I barely knew at the age of six and left!" He was shouting now, flying into rage quickly, "She has no right to love me!"
Surprised by the vehemence of his anger Rey didn't have time to realize that he was advancing on her until he had her by the throat. She was struck silent, choking, not able to get enough air. Kylo Ren put his lips to her ear and spoke quietly.
"Tell my mother that her love is too late. She should have tired it before she abandoned me." He released her throat and was gone, the bond dropping so quickly Rey was dizzy.
Well, that went well. She thought to herself. Leaving her room she made her way to the command room to find Leia to inform her of her progress, or lack thereof.
Leia looked heartbroken when Rey told her about her conversation with Kylo Ren. The general who was so strong so much of the time sat down and wept. Poe stood quietly beside her, offering her quiet strength.
"I am sorry." Said Rey, when General Organa had collected herself. "We knew this would not be easy or pleasant. I am sorry that it hurts you."
Leia half smiled, "I knew those feeling existed in him but to have it said out loud… forgive me, it hurt more than I would have imagined." She sighed, "Knowing that he feels so abandoned by his family and so betrayed by what happened with Luke I think it's time that I told you both my plan B."
Rey and Poe exchanged a confused look but waited for her to continue.
"I didn't want to use this information if we didn't have to but I don't think we will make any progress without it… There is someone that we need to find."