Lauren has no idea what Shane Harvey is doing standing at her door this late in the evening, holding a box with the words "Ice Cream" emblazoned on the side. She really, really has no desire to see him, especially when she was just about to apply her new facial mask, which Farrah recommended she try. Seriously, that woman is the only one who understands her around her. Amy is about as useful a sister as Tommy was a boyfriend.
"If you're here to see Amy, she's out camping with her girlfriend. Which is gross."
"Why? Because they might be having gross lesbian sex?" Shane makes a face at her. "Hello to you too, by the way."
"No, because bugs are going to crawl into their tent and into their sleeping bag. Duh. Anyway, she's not here."
"I didn't come to sea Amy though," Shane informs her with that slight whine in his voice and barely-there smirk which Lauren knows by now is trouble. "Do you want to invite me in?"
"Oh no. Not until you tell me why you're here." Lauren crosses her arms and is determine to stare him down. Whatever Shane is up to, it cannot be good. She knows vaguely that she does not look very intimidating barefoot, in a fuzzy pink sweater and black leggings, but she has to try.
Shane rolls his eyes. "Because I got this assortment of ice cream and I need someone to help me eat it and Amy is with Reagan and Liam is not answering his phone. Which means he is probably fucking Karma. So, you're like the only other person I can think of."
"Why don't you just eat it all yourself?"
"Must you be so difficult? Don't you want to eat some ice cream and drown your sorrows over Theo, or whatever his real name is?"
Lauren isn't sure if he's mocking her or if this is for real and Shane has gotten it somehow into his head that they are now friends. Or something. Not that she doesn't want to bitch at someone about how much of a looser Theo-Anthony is, but Shane really isn't her first choice. Not that she has a lot of choices around here. She can't even tell Farrah because she would tell Daddy and Daddy would flip if he knew Lauren had been dating a twenty-year-old. Not that that had been any of her fault. Ice cream also sounds really good right about now, even if she is trying to keep a check on her diet.
On the other hand, stealing Shane's entire class president campaign team has certainly brightened up her day, and—Wait. This could actually be interesting. "What kind of ice cream is it?"
"All sorts! Weird flavors too…" Shane side-eyes the box in his hands. "That's kind of why I didn't want to eat it alone. If I have to be weirded out, someone has to suffer with me."
Lauren makes a show of sighing in resignation. "Fine. Come inside before that whole thing melts."
They end up on the couch in the living room.
"You're a wussy, Shane Harvey. And a liar. Blackberry is not a strange flavor." Lauren twirls her spoonful of ice cream, inspecting its rich purple color, before putting it in her mouth and making a show of sucking the ice cream off the spoon. "Mmm mmm."
Shane shrugs. "Coffee and Donuts. Looks good." He takes a spoonful and tips the carton toward Lauren.
She winces. "Too much sugar."
"Its ice cream for god's sake!"
"Still. What's this? Oh, now it gets weirder. Pistachio and Honey… Earl Grey Tea?" Lauren makes a face. "Who gave this to you anyway?"
"You don't want to know. I was at Duke's and—"
"I thought he had a fake girlfriend now?" Lauren is consciously avoiding the stranger favors but the more normal ones are going fast. Looks like she and Shane have at least one thing in common – love of ice cream. He is a good dancer too, she has to admit grudgingly, but she isn't going to count that.
"Well, not anymore. You were right – I can't believe I just said that – but yea, so I sort of…" Shane makes a strange one-shoulder shrug, but he looks obviously uncomfortable. "Set the record straight."
Lauren nearly falls off the couch laughing. "Oh my gosh. You just couldn't resist outing him, could you? See, I told you you're self-centered!"
"Hey! I was doing a good deed." Shane waves his spoon at her threateningly. "That poor girl deserved to know."
"A-ha."
"Besides, it all worked out. He came out at a press conference and told the world that he loves me." Shane looks completely self-satisfied.
Lauren squirms inside a little. She hates this. She hates that finally she had found a mature, understanding boyfriend and he turned out to be a liar. Did he really think that she would have told everyone about him if he had told her the truth? Did she look like someone who supports drugs? It's especially hurtful that she had trusted him and he had no trusted her. "Here, Shane, try this one. But without looking. More fun if it's a surprise." She points to a flavor she has been avoiding.
Shane, too busy gloating about Duke, takes a large spoonful of the ice cream. Lauren manages to keep a straight face until Shane begins to make gagging sounds. At that point, her resolve crumbles and she dissolves into giggles.
"Knew I shouldn't have trusted you! What is this anyway?"
"Ginger Root," Lauren says smugly and claims the last scoop of the blackberry flavor. "I thought you might like it. You're all so very hipster around here."
Shane glares at her. "We're not hipster. People at Hester just care about important issues."
Lauren rolls her eyes. "All you care about lately is Duke."
"And all you care about lately is Theo."
Lauren pouts. "Fine."
Shane sighs and his faces changes, softens. Lauren is actually a little alarmed. It's easier when they both have their walls up. But Shane seems determined to be sympathetic and friendly or whatever. "Look, I know Theo was a real jerk. He fooled Liam and I too. We thought he was our friend and all he really wanted to do was bust Karma's parents."
Lauren doesn't want to talk to Shane of all people about this, but she does want to talk to someone. Someone, preferably, who can share her snark. "Like I know it's his job and everything, and I certainly don't support selling drugs to teenagers—"
"Weed isn't even a drug!—"
"But would it have been so hard to clue me in?"
"I know! What kind of friend does that? I have a proposition for you. Let's get revenge."
Lauren is about to roll her eyes, but then she thinks about it and it makes sense. Shane's evil brain might actually be good for something. "Let's just not…get too carried away," she says a little cautiously. "I don't want to be convicted of a felony in the process of trying to get back at my ex-boyfriend."
Shane rolls his eyes. "What did you think I was going to suggest doing? Burning down his house?"
"I don't know. You have a twisted little brain, Shane Harvey. At the moment it's helpful. But I just want to make my boundaries clear."
"Pff." Shane waves a hand at her. "I don't care nearly enough to actually get arrested. But it does need to be something memorable."
"And embarrassing. Not…harmful, but embarrassing."
They grin mischievously at each other and Lauren is a little worried about her own sanity at the moment. What in the world is she doing plotting with Shane? He is like the last person she should trust with anything.
The front door slamming makes them both look up. A moment later, a baffled Amy appears in the doorway of the living room. "S-Shane?" she stutters. "What are you doing here? On the couch…with Lauren."
"Oh please, what, do I have a contagious disease of something?" Lauren rolls her eyes.
Shane smirks. "You won't believe it, but we're discussing a matter of urgent priority and secrecy. What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be camping?" Shane wiggles his eyebrows at Amy suggestively and Lauren rolls her eyes and looks away. Shane's need to constantly be lewd gets tiring fast.
"Yea, I just forgot something and needed to come back for it. Um…Shane, you do know Lauren stole your campaign team right?"
"WHAT?"
"Hey! That isn't even true!" Lauren folds her arms and glares at Amy. Talk about outing other people's secrets. Geez. "They came themselves. They want to support me and make me Hester's first intersex president." Lauren can't help but be smug. The look on Shane's face is priceless. Amy decides that it will be better for her health if she leaves at this moment to get whatever she forgot for her camping trip. Seriously, what did she even forget that is so important? Her sleeping bag?
"Unbelievable. You don't even care about issues." Shane is still staring at Lauren as though she had grown horns.
"Yea. And you just wanted to get your mind off of Duke. Which you don't need to do anymore because he apparently declared his love for you to the entire internet. Now, can we get back to Theo please?"
Shane pauses for a moment, probably weighing his desire for petty revenge against his offended feelings, and finally decides to go with petty revenge. "Alright fine. So…any ideas?"