Akuroku (what is the truth.)
Roxas could hear the sound of his heart breaking. A cracking sound rung in his ears, as the pain in his chest intensified.
Tears spilled down his cheeks freely, and he clutched a fist full of his shirt, near his heart. He lay doubled over on ground, sobs coming harshly from him, as if each one had to be ripped out of his body.
"Dam it… Dam it, Axel….!I loved you…! I Loved YOU! Why don't you believe me?" he whispered bitterly. ' I didn't do anything with Riku! He raped me, and then left me for dead in an ally ! And you didn't care! You only believed Riku because of that stupid recording! He tricked me into saying that! Damn you Riku! Damn you Axel! Damn this whole fucking world!' he screamed in his head, while he pounded a fist on the ground in helpless, desperate, agonized rage.
Demyx had just picked up the phone , ready to dial 911, when the door to his apartment opened, revealing a tired desolate looking Roxas standing in the doorway.
"AH! Kid! There you are! I was worried when I came home and you were gone! Where have you been?" the pale brown haired guitarist asked frantically , going over to tug Roxas inside, closing the door behind him. Roxas didn't speak, more or react. He just stared with unnaturally blank blue eyes at the floor. Demyx frowned.
"Hey, kid….you alright? You've been crying…" he murmured using one hand to lift Roxas's chin.
A rush of cold horror and astonishment flashed through the musician. Roxas's brilliant blue eyes were dull, completely devoid of any traces of life. He looked like he'd had his soul sucked out of him.
"Roxas…." Demyx whispered, disgust filling him, "I know something happened, I need you to tell me what it was….so I can help you…"
Roxas just stared uncomprehendingly at him, as if the world had just floated over his head.
Demyx patted his check, "Come on, kid you're starting to scare me…." he pressed. " Axel…." Roxas finally murmured, his voice nothing more than a breath of the word.
"Huh?" Demyx echoed, not quit understanding what Roxas said. "I…..went…..to see….Axel…." Roxas said again, the slightest bit louder this time. Now Demyx was confused.
"Isn't that a good thing? Unless…." he trailed off, his eyes widening , "oh, God….Riku?"
Tears welled up in Roxas's eyes, and his detached mask broke, revealing the tortured mess underneath. "Riku….He…..He recorded everything I said last night! He edited it, and then showed it to axel….! Axel thinks …..that I…that I betrayed him! He thinks that Riku and I…that we!" the boy stammered, breaking off as fresh sobs stopped his speech. Tears slipped down Roxas's face gaunt checks once again. Demyx's heart twisted, as he drew the boy close to him.
"shh….It's alright kid. If it's too painful, you don't have to say anything…"
Demyx let out a long sigh, and glanced over to the right, at the motionless figure beside him. Roxas lay sleeping in the bed, his cheeks still damp and tearstained, having finally fallen asleep about five minutes ago. The longer he stared at the kid the more infuriated he became.
' Axel….you bastard…..how the hell could you do something like this to the poor kid? You believe people too easily when someone tells you Roxas has been screwing around with someone else. That's unfair and cruel, Axel. The kid adores you. He'd never even think of cheating on you…but….then again, you've never really trusted him since that whole incident with Zexion, have you, Axel?' the pale brown haired musician thought coldly.
He gently ran a hand through Roxas's spiky sandy brown hair.
Roxas shifted slightly in his sleep. "Nnnnn…Axel….." the boy murmured, smiling faintly. Demyx flinched, and his rage spiked.
"You'll regret this Axel….I don't know how, or when, but I swear to God, you'll regret not believing the kid when you should have, and turning your back on him when he needed you…
Over in his own apartment, across town, Axel was having a nightmare. He tossed his head from side to side, moaning softly sweat dripping off his check's.
"No…..Don't….! Don't touch him,,,,! No! Let go of him! Roxas….! Roxas!" he groaned, steadily becoming more and more agitated. "ROXAS!" Axel screeched, jerking upright into a sitting position as he was abruptly thrown into wakefulness.
The red head stared forward, taking in and letting out shuddering breaths, his luminous green eyes wide. ' what the…what hell was that?' he thought he could feel his heart pounding in his chest, hear the thumping in his ears. He shook his head , running a hand through his long crimson hair. "why is it THAT one…? Why him…? Why did I dream about HIM?" Axel murmured, trying futilely to calm himself.
Pain began to come with each pulse beat, and a deep, melancholy sorrow pierced him. A sense of wrongness settled over him.
It felt …..wrong not having Roxas sleeping next to him.
'…He.. HE betrayed ME….I….haven't done anything wrong….but, Damn it! Why can't I get him out of my head?" Axel flopped back down onto his bed, folding his arms over his eyes. 'Well, that's a stupid question, you idiot.' he admonished himself, ' It's because you still love him…'
Memories began to play unbidden in his head , memories of him and Roxas together.
' He ….loved me back. I know he did…but…not enough…Not enough…to keep him from abandoning me.'
Axel scowled and turned over onto his stomach, burying his face into his pillow. ' That's it. I just have to forget about him…and move on…I have to let it go…I don't care about Roxas anymore….I don't care.'
The tightness in his chest just intensified. "I don't care!" Axel hissed stubbornly. His voice echoed off the walls of his bedroom eerily. Just permeating the fact that he was all alone in his apartment.
Axel flinched, and his hands tightened into fists, gripping fistfuls of the sheets.
"I don't care…" he whispered, "I don't care." but no matter how many times he told himself that the echo of his words always came to him.
"I do care. I do care. I do care."
'Where are you?'
'I can't find you!'
'I can't find myself.'
'where are you!'
'Where are you?…..'
"…..are you, Axel…?" Roxas murmured, as his sky blue eyes opened, bleary and unfocused with sleep. His hand was reached out towards the side of the bed where Axel always was, but when his vision cleared,
'oh,,,' he thought, 'Demyx's place…that's right…' his hand dropped onto the mattress.
Roxas just laid there, staring at the wall with blank, lifeless blue eyes.
He expected the pain to start attacking him at any moment, but the cold empty numbness that had fallen over him continued to persist.
' what should I do now…? I can't keep staying here with Demyx…That's rude…should I move back with Sora? Should I call Xemnas…? Zexion? Hayner? Penec? Olette?'
His eyes fluttered closed, and his body slowly curled into itself, into a tight ball.
'Damn it…. I want to be with Axel, Damn it! I don't want to be a burden to everyone anymore! Sora may be my brother, but I'm just a nuisance to him….Demyx has already done enough for me… Zexion is busy with collage, and Olette….I Don't think things would turn out well if I went to her… I don't think …that they have ever really forgiven me for choosing Axel over them anyways…what should I do?'
"what should I do….?" Roxas murmured, his intense blue eyes opening once again.
"Stay here until your fully recovered , for one " a familiar voice startled him from behind. Roxas sat up, turning towards the figure standing in the doorway.
"D-Demyx…!" he squeaked.
Demyx laughed softly, coming into the room. He set the mug he was caring on the nightstand, and then sat on the edge of the bed. He laid his hand on Roxas's forehead. "Your fever's gone now. How are you feeling?" the pale haired musician asked. Roxas knew Demyx meant the state of his body, not the condition of his heart. " It…. Still hurts some….But other than that I feel fine…"
Demyx stared at him, thoughtfully for a moment.
"Show me your injuries." he finally said. Roxas sighed, and tugged off his shirt, wincing as he strained some sore muscles. Demyx frowned, as he always did when he saw the plethora of cuts, bruises, and scrapes that covered Roxas's thin body, furious thoughts running through his head. 'If you were within my grasp, right now Riku, I'd strangle you, with no remorse. It wasn't enough for you to merely RAPE him, was it Riku? No, you had to beat the shit out of him in the process. If Roxas was MY boyfriend, you'd already be dead, Riku…but…as it is…'
"Your cuts are healing nicely. Most of them should be gone by tomorrow. But these bruises…He banged you up pretty badly. These will probably take another week or two to fully heal. You're going to be pretty sore for a while." Demyx said softly. Roxas let out a long breath, slightly soothed by the feel of Demyx's cool, gentle fingers tracing his skin. It almost felt like Axel's hands…
That's when the crushing pain and sorrow crashed back on to him. His heart breaking down…fading. Demyx saw Roxas tense up. His hands coming to hug himself, his blue eyes going wide.
"Roxas? Hey, kid what's wrong?"
"It hurts…!" Roxas stammered, barley above a whisper.
"It hurts, damn it , it hurts! My chest…! My heart! Axel!…Axel!" Roxas slumped over forward, raw heart-broken wails escaping from his trembling from. "Axel! AXEL!" Roxas all but screamed, " I-I don't want to live with out you ! Why can't you believe me? WHY NOT?I LOVE YOU!"
Demyx, at last, didn't know what to say, or do. So all he did do, was repeatedly run his hand up and down Roxas's back, murmuring comforting nothings to him. ' The kid…May never recover from this…'
-DEMYX'S POV-
Roxas had cried himself to sleep, again. But I thought that was all for the better. The less he was conscious, the less pain he had to feel. My heart ached for him. He was broken, truly and severely broken, and it scared him me. But at the same time, it enraged me. I still could hardly believe that Axel, my best friend since junior high school, the same Axel I'd watched fall head over heals for the kid, had so simply and blatantly abandoned Roxas as soon as a shadow of be trail appeared.
I had to go to work, but I was hesitant to leave Roxas here all alone. But…Then again, all he really did when he was awake was lay there and cry… Besides, my shift was only four hours long, since I was a musician and a singer. The music would soothe me, and help me think. I wanted to go to Axel and demand to know what the hell he was thinking, and why he was being such a prick, but… he was my best friend… And, I was pretty sure that if I did see him, I might just strangle him before I got around to asking him and questions, I was that pissed at him.
I'd go see him eventually, when things had settled down a little bit.
I was more worried about Roxas than I was about Axel. For one thing, this was Roxas's first full blown relationship and I'd have to be blind to not see how much the kid loved Axel, despite what had transpired. Hell the kid cried himself to sleep. Sobbing Axel's name, begging to know why he'd been abandoned. I was starting to wonder if the kid was also suffering from psychological damage caused by Riku raping him. It would certainly explain things…now, Riku was someone I had no problem with killing on the spot.
He'd hurt Roxas and he was to one who had driven the wedge between him and Axel. If anything else happened to that kid… I shuddered at the thought. He was in a bad enough state as it was, I didn't want anything else to happen to him…I was planning on calling Roxas's twin brother , Sora, that night after I got back from work. He of all people, would know how to help Roxas…
Brilliant crimson and orange sunlight pained the pale green walls of Demyx's bedroom to robust, coppery red- brown, like dried blood.
Roxas stared at it, thinking noting, feeling nothing. He'd read the note Demyx had left on the nightstand for him, but quite frankly he didn't care…he was starting to accept the reality laid before him. Axel didn't want him, never wanted to see him again, and he was just a burden and an annoyance to everyone he knew.
Demyx was just being kind to him because he pitted him. Or, at least, that was how it seemed to be in the distorted way he now looked at the world. 'It would probably be best, If I just died right here…no one would miss me…at least not for long….
Slowly he rose from the bed, slipping out of the covers, quietly setting his feet on the plush carpet. The pale brown haired boy sat there for a moment. Staring at the floor. then, he stood and made his way to the bathroom. Gazing into the mirror, he saw the broken shell of the person he used to be. His eyes were dull, and lifeless, and the shadow of bruises laced his skin, old scratches and cuts. ' I'm…broken…and damaged…Incomplete…..now whole…missing peaces….who would want to love someone as broken as me…? As defiled and dirty as me….?
He couldn't even cry anymore. Nothing seemed to matter. Barely aware that he was moving his hand came up and reached out to the counter, his fingers curling around a long, slim object. ' I' am …nothing. I have no value…Axel doesn't want me…I see no point in continuing to burden everyone else with my existence…'
"I'm sorry…" Roxas whispered.
There was a flash of silver, and then, his world disappeared into red…
The moment Demyx opened the door to his apartment he knew that something was terribly, horribly WRONG. The air was warm and stale, smelling of metallic and rustic.
'This is….oh my god…!'
"KID! WHERE ARE YOU?" Demyx yelled, running to his bedroom. The scent of blood hung heavily in the air. He passed the open door of the bathroom, and stopped dead.
What he saw was the absolute last thing he ever wanted to see, ' No…!No…! NO! this can't be real.
Roxas lay on the tiled floor, pale as a ghost, only making the vivid red of the pool of blood surrounding him, all the more….gruesome, all the more…real. His wrists were slit, and blood was still trickling out of the long cuts obviously made by the razor held limply in one of the boy's hands. But, what really got to Demyx , was what was written on the mirror. Written in blood, dripping red characters spelled out the words
"I LOVE YOU, AXEL."
Axel had been listening to a familiar ring tone play in his dreams for the past hour, before it finally woke him up.
"Nnnn…" he groaned, rolling over in his bed, groping around on the bed side table for his phone. ' What …? Demyx…? What the hell could he want at fucking two in the morning?" ' He thought as he blinked at the screen. He considered ignoring it and going back to sleep, but the text ' 26 missed calls on the screen stopped him, and he decided it must be important. With a sigh, he flipped open the phone, and put it to his ear.
"Hello?" he said.
_"bout time you answered your goddamned phone, you goddamned bastard." Demyx's voice hissed . Irritation started to fill Axel.
"You're the one who decided to call in the middle of the night when NORMAL people are sleeping, moron,: He retorted flatly.
-"Shut the Hell up! TELL me AXEl ….do you know where Roxas is right now?" surprise filled him now. He hadn't told anybody about what had happened between him and Roxas yet…But it seamed like Demyx was implying that he knew Roxas wasn't with him. Axel sighed again.
"Look Demyx…It's over between me and Roxas-"
-"That's what you like to tell your self. Now answer my question! Do you know where Roxas is!" Demyx snarled, cutting him off.
"NO! I don't know where he is, okay? I don't care where he is! I….Don't care about Roxas anymore…." Axel hissed, sitting up, letting the sheets fall off of him. There was a moment of silence, before Demyx spoke up again in a harsh, cold, fighting controlled voice.
-"Oh really…?" he murmured , "what if I told you that Roxas is in the hospital in a coma because he tried to kill himself, and then see if you can still say that you don't care about him."
Axel felt his blood run cold, and ice griped his heart.
"W….WHAT?"
- "you heard me! The kid slit his wrists! I came home from work to find him lying on my bathroom floor in a pool of his own blood! And it's all because of YOU!"
'N-NO…. not Roxas he can't be….Not MY Roxas…!'
"How can you be so sure that it was me…?" Axel stammered.
- "Oh, then I guess the ' I love you, Axel' written on the mirror in his BLOOD was addressed to someone else!" the scathing accusation in Demyx's voice was sharp enough to cut to the bone, but in Axel's care, it cut through his heart. He didn't want to believe it. Axel wanted to deny that all of this was reality. Hysterics and denial were starting to entice him into their hold.
"That's …!HE betrayed ME! He went and slept with, Riku behind my back!" the red-head insisted.
- " that's all a lie, Axel, and you Know it!"
"No it's not! I heard it ! Riku showed me a recording of exactly what went on that night!"
- "that recording was cut and edited, you bastard!"
"How would you know!"
- "Because, I was there!"- Demyx yelled.
Axel froze stunned.
- " I was the one who found Roxas half dead on the side of the road! I was the one who heard Roxas scream in terror, and beg for Riku to stop in his nightmares! I was the one who saw Riku, boasting to his dead beat friends about what a great fuck Roxas had been, showing them the recording he said he had put together on his computer, telling them how easily it had been to trick his idiotic redhead lover into believing that he'd been betrayed! He was raped Axel! Riku beat and raped Roxas! You were set up, Axel, and you fell for it! I've seen the wounds on Roxas's skin, I've held him when he cried, I KNOW that Roxas is the victim here….and you turned your back on him the moment he needed you most…"-
Axel said nothing, the horror of realization was so great, It stopped his tongue….
- "you're so hot headed and impulsive and you always jump to conclusions, especially when someone, anyone tells you that Roxas has been screwing around with another person! You haven't seen the was that kid cry's at night because you're not there. That kid adored you, you where his hero, his protection. But you weren't his hero or protection when Riku raped him….you betrayed him. You shattered Roxas, and you still haven't completely forgiven him for that time with Zexion, have you?
You've never completely trusted him again! And now he's paying for it! Roxas is paying the price for your mistrust! You automatically believed all that Riku told you, and when Roxas showed up, hoping, begging for your help and love, but you didn't even let him tell you his side of the story! How could you do something like that to him? He's in the hospital dying! Not from his wounds on the outside, his heart has been shattered, he has no will to live with out you. You love him, I know you do! So WHY, Axel, WHY? Why did you abandon him so easily?"-
There was silence for a full two minutes this time, eventually broken by a soft choking sound on Axel's end.
Demyx sighed,-"Axel…? You okay man?"- he asked softly.
Tears spotted the sheets covering the red-headed artists legs.
"Oh God!…." he choked, his words muffled behind a hand pressed over his mouth, " This is all my fault!….Roxas!"
- "Axel….he needs you. They don't think he's gonna make it through the next day. But if you go there, talk to him, tell him your sorry, tell him that you love him. I know he'll live..! You have to save him, Axel!"-
The tears spilled freely from Axel's brilliant emerald green eyes, ragged sobs being pulled from deep within him. ' Roxas! Roxas! I'm sorry! Oh God…! Roxas'
- "Axel…If you're going to go, you have to go now. He's not gonna last forever!"- Demyx pressed.
"D-D-Demyx…." Axel stammered, forcing his tears back.
- " yeah, man?"-
"C-Can you come get me…? I- I don't think that I'm capable of driving w-when I'm th-this emotional…!" a soft, gentle laugh met Axel's ears.
- "I thought you might be…. I'm standing in the parking loft of your complex. I'm ready when you are."-
Axel managed to smile, wiping the tears from his cheeks with the back of his free hand.
"Tha-thanks, Demyx….and…I'm sorry…for everything. Thanks for taking care of Roxas when I was being to much of and ass to do so myself." he murmured.
- "You're welcome man, now lets get a move on!"-
Axel swung his legs over the side of the bed.
"Yeah, that's right!" Axel chuckled half heartedly.
- "Lets go save your boyfriend."
The car ride was pure hell for Axel. Despite being fairly calm upon getting into the car, as they got closer to the hospital, where he knew his boyfriend lay dieing, his grip on his emotions gradually slipped. He was pale and covered in cold sweat by the time he walked through the automatic doors of the hospital . Demyx walked beside him, staring anxiously at his best friend.
The red-head tersely inquired after Roxas's room, and once being told, he looked as if he was going to pass out. Demyx rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.
"Uuhhhh…Axel, this may not be the best news to you….but….uhh, Roxas's room was full of people when I left."
Axel froze, mid-step, tuning shakily back towards the brown haired musician.
"What?" He whispered, his green eyes wide. "Umm, when I brought Roxas here…and got him registered, they asked me who they should inform of his condition. I gave them your number, knowing you probably wouldn't answer, and I gave them Sora's number. So they called Sora, and Sora called everyone, else…." Demyx replied slowly.
"Define…Everyone else…." Axel hissed between gritted teeth.
"when I left, Sora was there, and Hayner, Pence, and Olette, and Kairi, and they said Zexion was on his way with Namine. And I think Zex called everyone in the old gang too….Not sure how many of them actually showed up though…."
All the color officially drained from Axel's face.
"Oh Goooooood…I'm gonna die…" the red head moaned, baring his face in his hands. Demyx patted his friend on the back, "oh come on, It's not that bad." Axels hands suddenly grabbed Demyx's jacket, pulling him close to his face.
"No, Demyx, It's really bad. You try knowing the one person you love more than anyone else in the world try to commit suicide, and then realize that it's all your fault, and then see if you can say it's not that bad!"
"Whoa! Okay, Okay! I get it! Relax a little!" Demyx replied hastily, his hands up in the universal 'whoa really!' Axel gradually relaxed enough to let go of his friends coat. he sighed heavily.
"Can we please just get to Roxas? Before I try to kill myself too…"
Demyx's pale blue eye's softened, gleaming with a mixture of affection, concern, amusement, and sorrow.
"Yeah, alright. Follow me."
_Sora's POV_
Of all the difficult things I've ever had to do in my life this was, by far, the hardest. Watching my brother lay, so pale and unmoving, in this hospital building was the most strenuous, heart wrenching thing I'd experience yet.
The room was quiet, deathly quiet, the kind of quiet that only came with the anticipation of waiting for someone to die. I know I wasn't the only one who'd noticed that Roxas's vitals had gradually been slowing over the course of the past few hours since we'd arrived. My brother was Dying…!
The doctors had explained that it wasn't his wounds that were killing him. No, It was his complete lack of will to live. I'd asked myself why, a million times already ' why did you try and kill yourself?'
'Why don't you wont to live?'
'Why wasn't Axel there to stop you?'
Axel…
My eyes narrowed as I thought of my brothers crimson haired lover, whom he had moved in with some eight months ago, after he'd graduated from high school. I didn't know how, of why, but I KNEW Axel had something to do with why Roxas was now lying in a coma in this God-forsaken hospital. Demyx had gone to get him, After the red-head had ignored his calls. When I saw him…..I was going to kill him…
The door opened just then, and Demyx entered the room, followed by Axel.
But….when I saw the painter, all my hostility faded. He looked just about as dead as Roxas did, all lifeless and devoid of color….
I'd never seen the vivacious red-head so….subdued before…
It was kind of eerie…The others noticed it too.
"Axel…!" they called softly. But Axel didn't hear or see any of them.
All he heard was the irregular beeping of the heart monitor, and all he saw was Roxas, motionless, so unbearably unresponsive in that bed, hooked up to various machines, an oxygen mask strapped to his face. Iv's running in and out of his frail body.
He went straight up to Roxas's bedside, emerald green eyes fixed on my brothers face.
"Roxas!…" He breathed, hesitantly reaching out to gingerly caress his cheek. Demyx came up to me then.
"Sora," He murmured, not willing to break the heavy quietness that permeated the room, "Do you think you could round up the others and leave for the night? Let Axel have some time alone with Roxas….you can crash at my place, or Axel's, If you want to go home."
"Are you crazy?" I hissed in a low, indignant voice, rage starting to fill me, "I want to be here when my brother dies! How dare you ask me to leave him in his last few hours!"
Demyx looked at me with a semi- tortured expression.
"I know how you feel, Sora, I really do, But…I feel like if we give Axel some time alone with Roxas, that…that Roxas will live. We just need to let Axel talk to him." He whispered, the pleading clear in his pale blue eyes.
My own eyes narrowed, "So I was right. Axel is the reason my brother is like this…What happened Demyx? I Know you Know. And what difference would it make if Axel TALKED to him? Roxas is in a coma! He can't hear anything!" I Spat, fighting to keep my voice low. Demyx shook hid head, "That's not exactly true, Sora," he cast a glance at Roxas and Axel, and then turned his gaze back to me, " I've heard of plenty of cases where people in coma's have heard people talking to them." He let out a long breath, "as to whither Axel's to blame for Roxas's current condition, the answer is yes, and no. I'll tell you the whole story if you come with me back to my apartment." I growled, "Fine. But if my brother dies while I'm gone…..I'll never forgive you."
"I know you wont." Demyx murmured bitterly. With that he turned away and quietly went to each of the others Hayner, Pence, Olette, Kairi, Namine, and Zexion, and briefly told them what was going on. One by one they reluctantly left, until only Demyx, Axel, and I remained.
Demyx stood by the open door. "come on, Sora." he called to me. I walked forward, but didn't immediately go to Demyx. No, I went to stand in front of Axel. He looked up at me with his emerald green eyes, and I saw vast depths of raw agony, sorrow, and self-blame in those jewel-like orbs. "If my brother dies," I hissed harshly, "I swear I'll come back and kill you. To hell with the consequences. I'll flag you for what you did to Roxas." Axel's eyes only widened slightly at my threat.
"I…" he breathed, so softly I almost didn't hear him. "I ….wont stop you…" I nodded satisfied with his reply. And then I left.
The door clicking shut seemed to be as loud as a cannon shot to the crimson-haired artist.
Finally alone, he let go of all his defensive barriers and completely fell apart. Tears welled up in his eyes, and overflowed down his gaunt cheeks. Axel tightly grasped Roxas's limp hand in his own, pressing it to his forehead as he wept.
"I'm sorry…..! I'm so sorry!….Roxas, this is all my fault!" he cried. He looked up at Roxas's face, the face he so loved, the fact that had haunted his late night dreams. He kissed the pale hand in his grasp, tears still streaming down his face.
"Roxas!…." He called, almost desperately, "I don't know if you can hear me…but I want to tell you that I am sorry! …I never should have done what I did. This is all my fault!….I don't know if you can ever forgive me for abandoning you like I did…but if you can hear me I want you to know I have always and will always love you!…..I ….I never forgot you for an instant Roxas! I love you so much my chest can't contain it any more….heeh If you could see the emotional wreck I am in now you would understand…." Roxas bore his soul to Roxas….Axel fell asleep, clutching that pale, limp hand…