12 LITTLE THINGS YOU CAN DO TO BE A BETTER PERSON
INTRODUCTION
Greetings! Do you find yourself alone, sad, or even angry? Outcasted? Do you feel like the world is pushing on your shoulders, weighing you down? Or do you feel like you are just a shadow on the floor, constantly getting trampled?
Well this book will change the way you look at actions forever. It teaches you the meaning of being there. Teaches you the value of time. Put that dusty dictionary to use.
With charming sarcasm, shiny grammar, cartoon-ish short- stories, and easy-to- imagine analogies, this book will take you onboard the train ride of change, the fun way.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
1ST LITTLE THING: No cheating in anything, at any time.
2nd LITTLE THING: Stop and think
3rd LITTLE THING: Stand up for yourself
4th LITTLE THING: Do NOT be overdramatic
5th LITTLE THING: Stay and listen
6th LITTLE THING: Comfort and talk peppy
7th LITTLE THING: Live, Laugh, Love
8th LITTLE THING: NEVER submit to self-mutilation/self-harm
9th LITTLE THING: Learn to say "No"
10th LITTLE THING: Keep bad comments to yourself
11th LITTLE THING: Express yourself with productive hobbies
12th LITTLE THING: Be a good friend to all, even to enemies
Acknowledgement
1st LITTLE THING: No cheating in anything, at any time.
"Self-explanatory, cheating is what desperate people do. It feels great at first, but once you realize many people suffering for their effort and being great people in the future, you just sit and regret what you have done."
It's simply unfair and the work of the devil. Cheating in games is pointless, it's just a game. Cheating for the sake of plus points or other benefits is just plain wrong. The number one reason why there are people who aren't deserving of their ranks ruling above us is because of deception and cheating.
Also, in relationships, there are so many temptations that force you to cheat, that you can't help thinking about how easy it is to do so.
But to cheat is like applying commercial fertilizer to crops; the more you use it and wait, the more the soil loses nutrients, and the crops become defective. Whereas the man who carefully cares and nourishes the plants with natural fertilizer from his own compost has fresh fruits all year long.
No matter how hard, the challenge may be, no matter how awarding victory may be, cheating is never the good option. Ever.
In the near future you will work, but you will carry that memory of cheating. It turns out you can actually do the task without cheating, and now here you are, successful. Let's rewind back.
What if you got caught instead? Caught cheating…in an exam. Dead, right? Automatic 0, free trip to the guidance office and a face-to-face chat with the principal along with your parents. Both humiliated, disappointed and FURIOUS. Imagine that. Perhaps that will teach you a lesson. So before you even THINK about cheating, imagine the highly possible and common story of cheaters.
It'll help. Promise.
2nd LITTLE THING: Stop and think
"It may sound crazy stopping in the middle of work, but no. I meant reflect, talk to yourself."
After each day, while either in the bathroom, or lying on your bed. Think about what you did and didn't do, what happened and what didn't, your thoughts, and the moments worth remembering and those better forgotten. You think about what you need to do to be different in a better way than you are today. Your true enemy is yourself, you should strive to outsmart, outwit, yourself. Strive to be stronger and be better than you past self, every day of your life.
Imagine what it feels like to succeed in a task that you normally cannot do without struggling
It feels good, right? Victorious, triumphant, fulfilling… accomplished. But what are you going to do about it? The task is, as you said, too hard for you. But as I said, striving for excellence is better than striving for raw/simple completion. Everything you do must not be simply good, it must be great, grand, better.
Talk to yourself and be better every day and excel. Think about it, projects won't be piled up if it wasn't saved for last albeit leisure coming first. Now it's all cramming and no time for relaxation, hurriedly finishing projects though not even visually acceptable, it looks too simple or poorly made, sloppily written or horribly decorated. It will look Ridiculousdespite the effort you put into it.
It helps to sit for a second and think. A mind in chaos is a body working in shambles. You can't think straight, so you end up doing so poorly, mistakes are mistakes are imminent, here and there or everywhere. Everything is messy, while the disorientation and confusion take place, more things pile up, like tetris.
I have been there, done that so I can only say this: I would recommend properly organizing everything, prioritizing and listing down so you won't forget what to do. So one big mountain of waste is now a big flat beautiful plain. With fertilized crops bearing oh-so tasty fruits of labor. That's the result of proper management.
Problems won't accumulate unless something is done about it, because they won't solve themselves.
3rd LITTLE THING: Stand up for yourself
"Just staying in a corner sulking sitting like a duck will do you no good, do something about the problem. Who knows? You could do a better job than them."
It is not advisable to look weak and vulnerable, especially when they take it too far. In my situation, they charm my friends into their circle, taking them in as if they are close. Many friends of mine are with them, the trouble magnets. By the time they split though, my friend is a totally different person and we end up on bad terms. This is definitely so with new students, they are in the middle of friendship tug-of-war.
I have come to terms that not everybody is easy to get along with, and that not everybody will stay by your side. So simply accepting the fact that people are not easy to get along with these days is a step up compared to the old "Nobody likes me" part, it's not that they do, it's just that they don't understand. So now, you can raise the bar a little higher now for yourself to improve. Prove them wrong. Prove that you can do better than them.
Simple as that. Work hard, get famous, and get friends. Slowly but surely. Step-by-step. They WILL see how good you are, good at math? Improve. Good at History? Improve. Good at Science? Improve. Good at English? Improve.
Whatever you're good at, improve it first, then you can slowly but surely improve the others as well, until you're at the top, and they'll be the ones asking for you signature or something.
Don't back down and keep moving forward, there's always light at the end of the tunnel, even a pin-sized dot of light. It's just difficult to see sometimes. Focus and clear your mind of negative thoughts first, and then march your way to victory- fearlessly, proudly and if you fall from your horse, dust it off and climb back up, the race isn't over yet.
4th LITTLE THING: Do NOT be overdramatic
"It's annoying in so many levels, just a small prick, a tiny painless prick and they scream bloody murder. For some people, being OA is cute, yet they target us to be OA for being different"
It's very hard for me to understand why they have so many friends at the same time being so overly-dramatic and such, but they are naturally beautiful, so maybe it is only right they have that attention, but what amazes me is that how their "beauty" charms people into acting like them.
That is a different matter, however. Anyway, not all people like the fact that OA people get more attention and fans and such. Simple thing to do is to ignore or simply dismiss their yells of "pain". They're probably trying to get their crush's attention. So young… So young…
For example, in the internet, adults are already complaining how "gamers" are showing of their "skills" in a first-person shooter game. They often say that: "im not gud, so pls take it ez on me because im a gurl. lolol #yolo #swag #gamergurl"
It's practically ruining our images as avid gamers and not attention-hungry fashionistas. That was only an example, I'm not referring to anyone I know of unless…
Anyway, it's best not to be affected, because it will end up being the one called "over dramatic" for complaining about the one actually "overdramatic" and things could get ugly from there. Don't get influenced either, otherwise you could end up in trouble along with your "Partner-in-crime"
5th LITTLE THING: Stay and listen
"If a friend is in deep trouble, heartbroken or depressed, stay and listen. You have no idea how much you helped them. Having someone to talk to- lets them know that they aren't alone"
It is such a good feeling every time you vent to a friend, you feel some weight off your shoulder. And you feel some friendly warmth in your chest. It just feels great.
Listening in itself is already a big deal for us who need someone to vent to. We simply cannot keep it all in anymore. But to give us advice is exceptionally great of you. Being there when we need you to be is a quick way for us to recover like nothing happened, but something inside us shifted a little… closer. With each venting session we bond closer. We understand better.
The funny thing is, you only need to use your ear and nothing else. You can stand there do your own business and we won't bother you unless you keep your ear open to us.
In our dire times we need attention, a friend is all we need. Yes, need. A necessity. Or else we would never stay sane, maybe we'll breakdown, maybe we'll give up, or maybe we'll isolate ourselves from everyone, everything. That's tragic right? But all you can do for us is a nod of the head, a tap on the shoulder and a quote of reassurance. Simple as that.
We will remember you in a good way as the person who stayed by our side in our times of need, times of pain, torment, times of loneliness and times of sadness.
6th LITTLE THING: Do not procrastinate
"Letting things pile up is a complete waste of time & energy despite not doing anything."
It is easy to get stressed out in school and work. Traffic, homework, projects, etc. Especially when all of the hard ones are in one week, piled up and the deadline is only in several days or so. It's meaningless to relax in a time when everything is piled up and just shoved to a corner. It is best to prioritize, finishing hard projects first, so you can rest easy during easy projects.
Procrastination is a hard habit to break, especially if you're used to "no pressure projects" that come out at least once a month and are really easy. Suddenly by the end of the school year, assignments and projects begin flooding in the system, and completely leaves your brain fried. No matter, you have relaxing hobbies to keep your brain entertained, right? Wrong. Distractions are merely prolonging and heightening your problem. It's addicting, really, you tend to think: "I'll just search for one song, so I can concentrate better" then it becomes: "Wow! That cat is so adorable" and then you end up completely abandoning your ongoing project due tomorrow.
I can relate, and with the internet, it's hard to keep track of time, goals, and essentials, actually- almost everything is forgotten when surfing the 'net. So many distractions, so many cats, so many entertainers, so many songs. You just can't get enough!
But hold on a minute, your project is due tomorrow, it's 9M, and you barely have a sentence written on the document, you quickly close every single internet tab, begin typing sentences you aren't even sure of, and Bam! A project is done… but it's already 1AM, you can't sleep (thinking about that fluffy cat) and you "wake up" at 4AM to get ready for school. You realize you forgot to study for a Math quiz (since you just spent your time looking at fluffy cat videos)
And then~ panic takes over, you cram but nothing enters your head. Quiz minute. You answered at least 5 out of 15; you scored 3 because you forgot the solution. Next, you passed the project until the teacher examined and stared at you. "You call this a project? This has NOTHING to do with our current lesson! It doesn't even have the proper format! And what are these? Horrible grammar? What? Was this done by a 3rd grader? ZERO. NO EXEPTIONS" And there you are, humiliated, failed and probably doomed when your parents find out. Which is why procrastination leads to a very unpleasant chain of events. Remember that, and you might not do it again.
7th LITTLE THING: Live, laugh, love
"It's pointless to be all gloomy and let things take such a toll on you. Live life to the fullest, don't dwell on the negativity of the big picture, and adore the vivid joy the whole picture presents."
Sounds about right. Sure you got pushed around a (literally and metaphorically) lot. But that doesn't mean you should spend all your time alone in the corner being depressed and all.
Tell you what- finish what you started, and after that, you can have all the fun you want? If not, maybe spend time with a friend or two? Or three? Maybe even a party? As long as you live life to the max, because some day, you wake up with your back hurting, bones popping, nerves numbing. Live while you're young, it's the best time to do so.
Though it's also best to avoid going too far. I mean partying excessively until injuries take place, or worse. Or even a simple grocery run turned to shopping galore.
That is simple to happen, getting caught up in ecstatic pleasure of dancing around or buying new stuff or other things that can escalate quickly.
Set limits for yourself to not overdo it. While setting a second bar at the bottom for how much fun you SHOULD have.
Good enough to be fun, simple enough to be normal. Memorable enough to stay in your memory until old age.
8th LITTLE THING: NEVER submit to self-mutilation/self-harm
"Truth is, self-harm is ridiculous. If you are already hurt inside why hurt yourself outside? Instead of punishing yourself for a mistake you did, let it be known to yourself that here can be something done to your current problem. "
I honestly don't understand self-mutilation, though for some, it's a way of expressing their self-loathing and anger. Self-harm can lead to fatal injuries, or even worse. I have seen people do this right in front of me, and I feel it's my fault for not being there for them. So the next time I see some difference in a friend, I'll make sure to be with them even if they push me away.
Personally, I wanted to do this so bad because I was thinking "Why not? I have low scores, I probably have no future. There is no use for me." But after support from a friend, I didn't do it. In fact, I got better almost instantly. I can't say the same for you guys, but I can tell you this: Confiding in your friends or anyone you are in good terms with will help you. It's amazing to feel the support they give you.
If you feel oh-so-lonely, remember the times when you were having fun, free, happy and all that. What happened? I don't know either. So what are you going to do? Stay there and be like that forever hopeless? Or grasp that thread of hope, weaving it into rope later on?
9th LITTLE THING: Learn to say "No"
"People tend to be too pushy and force you to do something for them. The problem with that is that usually, they get the credit while you do the job for them."
For example, a famous kid who is too drowned in fame asks you to make his project for him. In turn, he will give you money/credit/ etc. But it isn't worth it. Avoiding this is called "self-respect" You can't make yourself a slave for people just because you are intimidated by their status or authority over you.
Do not forget you are human and you deserve to be treated like so. They themselves must learn how to do things without anyone's help, because one day, all of that fame and glory could mean nothing, or just vanish all together. He/she would be helpless and desperate.
They might not even be aware of the fact that you won't be there for them forever, paid or not, it is never a good choice to do something that isn't yours. You're not them and they're not you, their project or whatever is not your responsibility is. Let them know that they have to learn to do it themselves whether they like it or not.
Bad news for them, if they have gone used to your help, they will struggle during the next project. Good news for you, they aren't weighing you down anymore, you might even get the best project in the class! How great is that?
10th LITTLE THING: Keep bad comments to yourself
Why? Because it's like adding fuel to the fire. What once was a regular discussion turned to constant insults poured out to the opposing parties.
If you don't like it, simply say an apology followed by a reason why, albeit not said in a harsh way. There are many example of this in YouTube, Facebook and other websites… let's just say the entire world wide web.
For example, in YouTube, people who like pop and artists like 1D comment in a music video of Nirvana that it is disgusting, and that we should just listen to their music (JB, 1D, Nicki Minaj, etc) It's bad enough that they complain about our music with horrible grammar and call it "tiscusting", "4 em0 ppl", "suWisida1 freek's best 4r3nd", etc. But to invite us to something we choose not to like is like being forced to eat poop while drowning in mud trenches. Now that video's comment section is filled with so much arguments ranging from name-calling to death threats to reporting to banning. It's like a warzone. And it all began because of one negative comment about the video.
It is fine to say some kind of negative criticism but going that far without proper explanation (or even grammar) only goes to show that their fandom does not have self-control nor proper education regarding mannerisms and
It's perfectly fine to say you don't like the object of attention, and explain why, followed by your opinion and apologizing to the fandom. For us avid internet-users, there is a simple rule we enforce: "Respect our interests we respect yours.". Simple as that.
11th LITTLE THING: Express yourself with productive hobbies
"Like painting, when you're mad or feeling down, you can express your feelings through art, it'll come out as amazing abstract of contrasting colors with beauty and mystifying grandeur. You can even sell it for profit!"
Some people simply resort to violence or other indecent methods for expressing themselves.
Several friends of mine draw characters instead of voicing it out, it helps them better than actually venting it vocally. Their drawings are fantastic! As if done by a professional artist or something. Some of them sell it for extra profit. They made at least 150 pesos a month, not really enough, but good enough.
It's double plus, you get to vent, and you even earn some money! If not painting, doing sports can lose some steam. Running, boxing, basketball, anything. Every training session fueled by emotion can go a long way towards leveling up in that certain activity.
I tried venting my anger out through badminton, a week later I can finally compete with tougher students. Though I still have a lot to learn, it helped dramatically in learning skills that are complicated to learn. I did, after venting. Like a Power Boost in a game, after using that Boost, it gets easier to level up.
12th LITTLE THING: Be a good friend to all, even to enemies
"Even of it sounds horrible to do good to people who do bad to you, doesn't mean you go to hell with them for not forgiving."
Lastly, being a good friend to everyone, no matter how bad they are to you. It sounds indeed, horrible but let's face it, today not much people are easily understood, if you're one of them, you're lucky to have this book. One thing I have learned from my small, tight-knit circle of friends, that treating enemies equally as bad is just going to make their treatment of you more severe. So we just let it go. We don't engage and we don't fight back because, what's there to fight about? We are stronger and wiser that way. Under the barrage of countless torment, we still held the ground and there is no sign we will back out and give up. We stay strong and cool.
With each torment comes their punishment and their atonement. Best you be proud for resisting their words. I know the difficulty of that, but the reward is grand. Yes, they tease you but that doesn't mean they're better, often, people who tease are the ones most soft and protect themselves by acting tough, hit their soft spot and they break down. But that is not necessary. Everyone gets the treatment, but I choose to let it go, and tell myself that they're not even close to what they say I am, which makes them look like idiots compared to what they want to be.
I know it is easier said than done not to cry in the severe cases, but what if they tease you until you cry? That's taking it a bit too far don't you think? Sitting back is not an option in some situations, especially that. I know little of fighting back, with my inability to come up with witty comebacks and such, but my biggest weapon is the simple ability to disregard everything they say about me.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
I thank our teacher Ms. Quineri for teaching us values we need to learn and the tips for this project and for being so approachable.
I thank my English teachers for my grammar and vocabulary skills, you helped me talk to people who are very fluent in the English language, though I apologize if there are any mistakes.
I would like to thank the band Rise Against for inspiring me the whole time I was writing this book, they have bestowed upon me the truth and strengthened my walls (I recommend listening to their music even if you're not a hard-rock listener).
I thank my tight-knit circle of friends for helping me find the joy of life and the feeling of total happiness the entire time we have been together.