Disclaimer - It's not mine. Never was. The characters portrayed within this story are the property of Masashi Kishimoto, not me. So don't sue. It's not like you're going to get anything from me anyway…at least nothing other than some college textbooks.
A/N - I have absolutely no idea where this came from, but I can say that the idea came to me after reading Hey-Diddle-Diddle's story Push It In. I laughed for half an hour after finishing it, so kudos to them for such a cute story. Unfortunately, it seems my attempt is less that stellar. Anyhow, I hope you guys enjoy it.
Facets #2
Birthday Surprise
"Holy hell, Genma! That thing's huge!"
"I know." Genma said proudly.
"It's not going to fit in…"
"Yeah it will." the senbon familiar ninja said, waving off the other man's worries. "I've done this before. Now come give me a hand." Raidou looked doubtful, but didn't question the other man. A few minutes later, they were locked in a heated battle of wills.
Thump
Thump
Rip
"Fuck! Those were my favorite pants!"
"Then don't wear them next time we do this." Raidou grunted, his breath coming in harsh pants as he continued to move with the other shinobi.
"There's going to be a next time?"
"You didn't think this was a one time thing, did you?" Raidou asked with a grin. "Harder! Come on already! I know you can do this!"
"Damnit, that hurts!"
"Quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet!" Raidou hissed suddenly. "Do you want the neighbors to hear?"
"Probably give the old goat a heart attack if he knew what we were doing to….OW! Hey! Watch it!" Genma retorted.
Thump
Creek
"You realize that if Shizune finds us doing this in her apartment, she's going to kill us?" Raidou said through clenched teeth. He was almost there…..just a little more…..
"I know."
"And you don't care?"
"She was going to find out sooner or later." Genma muttered, shoving wildly at the other man. "And if I go down, you're coming with me. Now push!" Raidou sent his buddy a glare over his shoulder.
"Genma, you ass, it's the day before…" he groaned as the other man gave a hard shove.
"No time like the present, right? Now come here!" Genma ordered, hands reaching out to grab at a dark green vest. "Push!"
Groan
Squeak
Thump
"Be careful." Genma mumbled. " I don't want to have to explain to everyone at the hospital what happened if this doesn't work."
"I'm not sayin' nothing. Especially when this was your idea to begin with." Raidou countered as the other man continued to plunge ahead.
Crash
Shatter
"Oh, shit."
"What?"
"You broke the damned lamp." Genma muttered. "I told you to be careful. Now what are you going to do?"
"I broke the lamp? You mean we broke the lamp!" Raidou said, reaching out to punch his companion. Genma just smirked and shook his head, his hands still tied up in the green vest.
"You broke it." he smirked. "I'm back here."
"Lucky ass bastard." Raidou hissed.
Shove
Thump
Shuffle
"This isn't working, Genma." Raidou grunted, pushing as hard as he could, but getting absolutely no where.
"Well what do you suggest, oh mighty one?" Genma asked sarcastically, aggravated that this wasn't turning out like he had planned.
"Switch places with me."
"No way in hell…"
"If you want to finish this, then shut up and move!"
"Bossy asshole." Genma grunted, reluctantly switching places with the other man.
The quiet of the apartment was broken as the two men worked in tandem to reach their goal.
"Is it in yet?"
"Almost." Genma grunted.
"Almost?" Raidou asked. "How much damned farther?"
"Quit bitching and just push. Harder, Raidou! Put your back into it!"
Thump
Thump
Thump
Rrrriiiiiipppp
"Shit, be careful, Raidou. That wasn't supposed to happen!"
"Oh, so now he wants me to be careful." Raidou muttered, getting his grip back as he scowled at the man in front of him. "Make up your damned mind, Genma."
"Shove it in, but be careful." Genma hissed. No, this wasn't happening at all like he'd planned.
Grunt
Groan
Splat
"You better hope we can get this off the couch." Raidou commented acerbically, reaching out to run his fingers through the white mess that was now scattered on the couch. "Don't you have any restraint?"
"It's leather. It'll wipe off." Genma retorted sourly. "And you're one to talk."
"It better, for your sake." Raidou answered, ignoring the other man's obvious jab.
Thump
Creek
Bang
Bang
Bang
Bang
"Hey! Keep it down over there!" came a crackly voice through the wall.
"Mind your own business, old man!" Genma called back loudly. Raidou just groaned. Apparently they were making more noise than he thought. "Come on, come on, come on…" Genma chanted, moving in tandem with his partner. "Almost….almost…just a little further…."
"Don't you ever shut up?" Raidou grunted, thrusting hard one last time, then leaning on his hands to rest when it slipped into place. The scarred man took a few seconds to calm his ragged breathing down, then glanced down at a grinning Genma. "It's in. Happy now? I told you it would work better if I was back here."
"Yeah whatever. You got it in. Now move it." Genma ordered imperiously. "You're not finished yet."
"Move it? There's no room to move it!" Raidou exclaimed.
"Just slide around a bit…" Genma suggested. Raidou growled, white teeth showing, as his strong hands latched onto the green vest in front of him one more time.
"How's that?" Raidou's strained voice asked a few seconds later.
"Ahhh…much better."
"Easy for you to say. I'm the one doing all the work back here." the other man answered glumly, even though his voice expressed how pleased he was at that second.
"You're the one that wanted to switch places. Don't complain now that it's all over with." Genma said languidly, happily content now to stay right where he was. A door opened and shut, but the two men didn't have enough time to move before the newcomer caught sight of them through the bedroom door. The small 'chink' of a set of keys hitting the floor and a quick intake of breath was the initial sign of the intruder's surprise.
"Genma! Raidou! What are you two think you're doing?" Shizune yelled, making the guilty men freeze instantly, half way through the process of untangling themselves.
"Uh…well…you see…" Raidou flushed, not as much being embarrassed from being caught, but being mortified at being caught in his teammate's bedroom. "It's not….what it looks like?"
Leave it to Genma to smooth things over.
"We would have waited until tomorrow to show you this, but the Hokage's sending the two of us off on a mission." Genma said calmly, watching the wide-eyed woman for any response. "Figured we'd let you see it today."
"But….I….when did…" Shizune stuttered, her usual intelligence having taken a small leave of absence.
"A while now." Raidou said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head while Genma just grinned like an idiot. "We just didn't want you to know what we were doing before now. It was a surprise!"
"That's…that's for me?" she asked dumbly, looking up at the huge teddy bear that was taking up the majority of the space in her bedroom, then back to the two sweaty men standing before her.
The thing had to be at least eight feet tall, and was sporting a dark green vest! She spotted a trail of silver-white glitter that led from the doorway of her apartment to where the huge stuffed animal now stood, holding a large heart covered in the same sparkly flakes. She frowned slightly. The junk was covering her leather couch! Those two better hope it comes off, she thought absently. How in the hell had they got the thing in her apartment anyway?
"Why are your pants ripped, Genma?" she finally asked, noticing the rather large tear in the green standard issue uniform fatigues. The senbon sucking shinobi smiled halfheartedly and shrugged.
"He was being stubborn and we had to get rough." he said casually, slinging an arm around her shoulder. "Casualty of a well fought war, and all that." Shizune nodded mutely, still staring at the huge stuffed animal until Raidou slung an arm around her other shoulder.
"Happy Birthday, Shizune."
A/N - Okay, I'm not exactly sure where that came from, but I hope at least one person got a laugh out of it...or at least a grin.
Until next time,
A.A.
Oh, and feel free to leave a review, even if it is to tell me how mentally unstable this drabble was.