What Really Happened That Night

A Gakuen Alice Story

M-Now, I know everyone fantasizes about what ACTUALLY happened when I slept with Natsume for the first time. I finally decided that it was time for people to know, so this is that story.

At first, I was pleasantly surprised when Natsume and I were stuck together. For the first couple of seconds, anyway. Then I realized what this would mean: I wouldn't be able to go to the bathroom without him in there; I wouldn't be able to change without his help; I wouldn't be able to eat unless he was next to me; I would be completely at his mercy.

M-If this had happened recently (I'm now sixteen and we've been together officially since we were eleven) I would have found the prospect quite appealing, if not downright hot. However, I was ten, about to turn eleven at this point, and boys (especially Natsume) still had cooties. I think Natsume had more cooties than most because I liked him more. (Natsume's reading over my shoulder and just elbowed me in the ribs.)

Anyway, as soon as I realized that, I panicked, but then realized that that was stupid, and so started listening to Tsubasa-senpai.

"...When you put this in the mochi, after a period of fermentation, it'll separate into two or three. If different people eat it, after a while, their bodies will be like magnets - or new year mochi - stuck together and inseparable." My face fell. I looked at Natsume who simply looked shell-shocked, like a cat does for a second when it gets splashed with water.

Tsubasa-senpai had said more, but I hadn't heard it. I was too busy with the words "stuck together and inseparable." I'm sure my face had the same expression as Natsume's at the time.

N-Natsume here, and she did.

Anyway, back to what was said.

"Really, Tsubasa-senpai, idiot! At such a busy time..." I stopped talking. I wasn't really listening to Tsubasa-senpai's apology. I looked at the other people stuck together. Everyone had eaten some of the person they were stuck to's mochi. So that meant...

I looked at Natsume. "...What...Natsume...the red bean soup with mochi I made, you ate it?"

He looked at me sharply, his gaze said that I was an idiot to have said that out loud, but my stupefied brain had still been processing it, and I had to know...

"Uh..." he seemed to come to a decision. "It was horrible, I had to hold my breath and swallow it down."

I blushed slightly and looked at him in surprise. I was so happy that he'd eaten it. "What..." Then I realized what he'd just said. "What's the meaning of that?" I asked annoyed. "I ate it too, and it was delicious!"

Now I was happy that Natsume wasn't brooding anymore, and was back to his normal self. The self that just at the moment I was extremely annoyed with.

"Delicious?" He asked. "Useless tongue," he stage whispered, quite audibly.

M-I would have been annoyed, but other things were brought to my attention. They're not really consequential to this story, however, so I think Natsume and I can leave this all out.

N-Again, Natsume, and while they're not important to this part of the story (the ones that's just for my fangirls, and Polka-Dots' fanboys (what ones there are) they are important to the main plot line.

M-Whatever, they're not important for this particular story, so it doesn't matter.

Back to the story. Time has passed...

"Ah! Tsubasa-senpai, when will the effects of the sticky powder wear off?" I asked, then looked at the clock. "Eh, it's been an hour already? Should be any time, now..."

Everyone else became separated at that moment. Everyone except Hotaru, Ruka-pyon, and Youichi-chan.

"Uh...this..." Tsubasa-senpai said, seeming worried.

"Eh, what is this? 'Exceptional circumstances," Misaki-senpai read out the the directions. "'Please note that it is rare that people have extremely similar cells to the sticky powder bacteria. However, in these situations, the effects could last for two to three days.' This is what it says..."

Hotaru, Ruka-pyon, and You-chan were stuck that way. I was sure they'd be okay, though. Hotaru is smart, so they should be okay.

"Ah, it seems like we can move now..." I started to say, while pulling away from Natsume.

He grabbed my wrist.

Natsume, what are you doing? I thought to myself.

"Hey, Mikan, Natsume, you two can't be stuck together too, right?" asked Tsubasa-senpai. Ruka-pyon looked at us sharply.

"Ah, no," said Natsume under his breath. Why? I thought. Why does Natsume want to pretend we're stuck together...?

"Natsume is the one...my hand..." He squeezed my wrist really hard, so hard it hurt, which shut me up.

"We're stuck," he said, audibly this time.

What...What the hell...

"We can't get apart...Polka-Dots?" His look clearly said that worse things than pain would happen if I didn't agree with him.

"Y-Yes...?" I said, unconvincingly. I didn't understand. I didn't understand why Natsume wanted to be stuck to me, but clearly he did. Then I realized Tsubasa-senpai was explaining something about the sticky powder that might help us deal with our situations, at least a little bit.

"...the effect of the sticky powder can actually be momentarily overcome with sustained pulling. But when that external force disappears, they'll revert to their original conditions, like a magnetic north pole to a south pole."

Now I think about it, Natsume started acting different when he heard about the stuff regarding the Hana-Hime...Tsubasa-senpai was still speaking. "...able to tolerate not showering for two to three days, huh...it's winter anyway," he added under his breath. Then again, in normal tones, "If they need to change, they should be able to do it with a curtain. The problem is when they sleep or go to the bathroom..."

When he said that, I freaked.

"This is really a big problem," he continued. "In the end, they're held together by such a strong force, it won't be possible to close the door when they're in the toilet. When sleeping, even if boards are used to separate them, the force will be so strong it'll be very uncomfortable."

He kept talking, but I had stopped hearing what he was saying. I wasn't going to be able to close the bathroom door. I'd have to sleep with Natsume. I was not prepared for this.

"You big perverted idiot!" I yelled at Natsume, who was still holding my hand, except that just then I was in the bathroom. He was standing outside, but of course the door was open to accommodate our hands. "Don't hold hands! Don't hold hands! Don't hold hands, I said, you big idiot!"

"Quiet!" Natsume yelled right back at me. "I only came because I was worried you'd pee your pants," he said, slightly less loudly, but no less harshly.

"Hey, hey where are you going?" I said, in a panic because he wasn't guarding the door anymore, now he was facing it, and could potentially see me if he opened his eyes.

"Quiet! Shut up, no one's gonna peek at you." I started sobbing extremely loudly.

Somehow, Hotaru, Ruka-pyon and You-chan were faring much better than us. Hotaru had for some reason bought (before hand) body cleaning spray and tablets that make you not have to go to the bathroom. I tried asking her for some, but she said she only had enough for three people, so I would just have to make do.

We made do for the rest of the day, Natsume and I. Until it was finally dinner time, and I snapped.

"I hate this!" I yelled in frustration. "I hate Natsume the most!" I was sobbing again.

"You're really noisy. I, on the other hand, wish I were you!" Yelled Permy at me. She was crying too, but she was crying silently, and because she wasn't stuck with Natsume, as opposed to because she was.

"Went to the bathroom three more times, can't stand this kind of woman," Natsume said, seemingly to himself, but in perfectly audible tones.

I stopped sobbing. "Who's to blame for that! You dare to say that, still!"

"Tsubasa-senpai should be blamed, right?" said Mind-Reader-kun to Tsubasa-senpai.

"It's your fault," said two other kids from our class whose names I still don't know to this day.

"Sorry, Mikan..." Tsubasa-senpai had tears running down his face from guilt at making me so miserable. I was crying again.

"Are you alright, Sakura?" asked Ruka-pyon.

I sighed. Hotaru-chan's so lucky she's stuck together with Ruka-pyon. If only I were stuck with Ruka-pyon, I wouldn't be suffering so much...urgh. I was so frustrated.

"Are you saying that compared to Natsume, you like Ruka-pyon more?" asked Mind-Reader-kun, holding a microphone to his mouth when he asked, and holding the microphone out to me for my answer.

"Yeah..." I said, without thinking about the repercussions of that thought. I had forgotten that with Mind-Reader-kun here, my thoughts weren't necessarily my own. I realized what I'd said only a second too late. Natsume was looking daggers at Mind-reader-kun, while Ruka-pyon was blushing noticeably, looking at me.

"No..." I said, realizing. "No!" I said louder. "That's not what I meant! Don't implicate me!" Everyone was looking at me, now, and I realized I'd stood up and was shouting.

I was blushing, too. I couldn't believe I'd just said something so utterly and completely stupid. We were just past the new year, and something like this had to happen. I couldn't stand it. I sat back down.

I was feeling so stupid, I didn't realize where we were going until we got right outside his door. "What!" I yelled.

"Don't tell me you wanted to sleep in that cramped room." Natsume said.

"Bridal Night!" chorused Inchou, Permy, Mind-Reader-kun, and the two boys whose names I couldn't remember.

I was so embarrassed. Natsume just looked angry (at me, not at them), but Tsubasa-senpai looked like that made him feel a little awkward. "Do you really know what you guys are saying?" he asked them.

We closed the door on them, quickly.

M-Now, this is where the manga for the public strays a little from the truth. You see, Hotaru had installed a surveillance camera, pointing toward the bed, in the room so that we could be sure of what happened that night. In the manga, we left it there. In real life, we didn't...

Natsume led me over to behind the surveillance camera Hotaru'd set up, and let go of my hand. I was tempted to run to the camera so that everyone would see that now I was free. I wouldn't have to sleep with Natsume, but his eyes caught mine, and I stopped.

They clearly said both "try anything and you die," and "please, please don't try anything." Surprised by the sincereness, and the paradoxes in those eyes, I didn't move. Natsume moved his desk chair over to the camera, which was facing the bed, and took it down. He made sure it wasn't facing him as he took it down, and turned it off. He put it back up, but facing away from the bed, so that Hotaru's remote control wouldn't be able to make it record the bed.

"Now we can talk, again," he said. "I can't hear anything outside the door, and that thing had a microphone, too. Like I was going to sleep with that thing recording everything."

I looked at him sharply. "What do you want?" I asked, as waspishly as I could.

Natsume sighed. "I just don't want them to know that I forced you to pretend that we were still stuck. If you want, I'll sleep on the floor, okay?"

I was surprised. "It's your bed, I should sleep on the floor. I mean..." What did I mean? "If you just give me some pillows, or something, I should be fine. My bed isn't all that comfortable, so your floor shouldn't be too bad." I was a little flustered.

Natsume looked at me. "I'm being nice enough right now to offer you the bed, just take it."

"But it's yours-" I started to say, but he cut me off.

"Just take the damn bed."

I looked at him. He was being weirdly nice to me. I almost wondered if how he usually acted was just that, an act, but then he said "Unless your really stupid enough not to take it," and I knew it wasn't an act.

I stomped over and climbed into the bed, and Natsume took a pillow. He was already wearing sweat clothes, so he wouldn't get too cold on the floor, I reasoned.

I settled into his bed, and he turned out the light. "Sweet dreams," he murmured, almost inaudibly, and I smiled. He'd turned my mood around, again.

"Sweet dreams," I said back, and turned over. Then my brain started cataloging everything I could about his room. I don't know why, I couldn't really help it.

This bed is so much softer than mine, and bigger. Come to think of it, the room's bigger, too. I guess that's just one perk of being a special.

Then my brain was racing, and eventually it made it back to my embarrassment earlier, at dinner. "Natsume?" I asked. I heard him grunt. "Are you asleep?"

"If I say yes, will you let me sleep?" he said.

"Good, you're awake," I replied, and he groaned. "Well, fine. If you don't want to hear what I have to say then I won't tell you!"

I was silent for about thirty seconds before Natsume said "You know, I bet in about thirty seconds your going to tell me anyway, whether I like it or not, so just say what you were going to say."

"Really?" I asked, turning to face him. I saw his shadowy form nod it's head, so I decided to say it after all. "I..." I guess it was going to be harder than I thought, getting this out. "I'm sorry, Natsume." I said.

"What for?" he replied, caustically.

God, he annoyed me sometimes, but I was apologizing, so I had to be civil. "What I said earlier, when I answered Mind-Reader-kun. I-" God, why was this so hard to say? "It's not that I like Ruka-pyon better, exactly," I said slowly. "It's just that the combination of what happened today made me really stressed. First you were all moody," the words were now coming out like a river, where seconds earlier they had been hard to say. "Then you wouldn't eat my mochi, although that's normal for you, then we got stuck together, and you pretended we couldn't get apart." God, my mouth just wouldn't stop moving! "I mean, it wouldn't be so bad if we had some of Hotaru's tablets, even if we didn't have the spray, but since we don't it's hard. It might have been easier if we were actually stuck, but since we're not, it's harder." I finished, lamely.

"And this has to do with your liking Ruka better than me, how?" Natsume said, his voice very carefully regulated, now. He still sounded like his normal, flippant self, but as if he were trying to sound that way, this time.

"I already told you," I said, annoyed, now. "I didn't meant to say that!"

"It doesn't mean you didn't mean it," Natsume said, his voice soft.

My breath caught a little in my throat. I hadn't really known what Natsume felt towards my indecision until then. I'd known he liked me since the kiss, but I still didn't know if I liked him or Ruka-pyon more. I hadn't realized just how much it must be hurting them. I climbed out of his bed, and went to where he was on the floor. He'd sat up.

"Natsume?" I asked, putting my hand on his shoulder. My voice was small and apologetic. He shook of my hand off. He'd been trembling slightly, which was weird, because Natsume never showed weakness. Not in front of other people, at least. Not if he could help it.

He started coughing. He was shaking visibly, now, even in the darkness. "Natsume, what's wrong?" I asked, really alarmed, now.

"It's nothing," he said, his voice strained. He coughed again. "I'm fine," he said a few seconds later, his voice sounding stronger.

I looked at him. "Come on," I said, pulling him up, and grabbing his pillow.

"What?" he said, obviously confused. It was almost cute on him.

"If you're sick, then you sleep on the bed. I don't care, I'll just stay here, too. But if you're sick, and you sleep on the floor, you'll just get worse."

He looked at me, his gaze level, but I could see the slight pain in his eyes, now. "I won't make you sleep on the same bed with me if you'll be uncomfortable," he said, pulling away from me.

"I'll be fine," I said, and put his pillow on the bed. "Come on," I said, "you don't want to catch a cold along with whatever else you have." He looked at me what seemed like a long time, as if studying my face for whether I was being truthful or not. He seemed to decide I was, because he climbed into bed after me.

We got under the covers, and rolled over. Right next to each other. I hadn't meant to do it, but now I was staring Natsume straight in the face, our faces only inches apart, if that. My breath caught. I started to move away a little, but Natsume grabbed my hand.

"Stay," he said, in a voice that sounded commanding, but with pleading eyes. I stayed.

"Why?" I breathed. I couldn't manage more than that with him so close, staring right at me.

"I want to be able to talk to you without the camera hearing," he said in a whisper, just as soft as mine. It was almost as if he was having trouble speaking, too.

"Is it back on?" I asked, this time more in control of my voice, but still not daring anything more than a whisper.

"Sh," he said, his voice still a breath. "I don't know, but probably. After all, Invention had to be suspicious when the camera turned off. She probably had some sort of alarm on it so that if the camera turned off, the alarm sounded."

I thought for a second, then realized he was right. Hotaru might not know exactly what had happened between me, Natsume and Ruka-pyon, but she had to know something was different. "Okay," I breathed at him. "So what did you want to say?"

He took a long time before he answered me. I almost thought he'd fallen asleep. "What were you going to say before I started coughing?"

"I-" I tried to remember. "I was going to apologize. Properly. Is it okay?"

"Yes."

"I- I wanted to say that I'm sorry that I don't have an answer for you and Ruka-pyon, yet. I just don't know right now. What I feel for the two of you is completely different, but I'm not sure if one of those feelings is liking one of you more than the other. There are things about Ruka-pyon that I like that are different from you, but it works the other way as well. There are things about you that I like that are different from Ruka-pyon. It makes it difficult for me, but if It's difficult for me, then it must be horrible for the two of you, with me stringing you along. I-" I stopped. "I don't want to hurt either of you, but as long as I don't choose, I have to hurt both of you." I stopped, once more. "So, for that, I'm sorry." I finished.

Natsume was staring at me. "Now I don't see how it relates to you being annoyed with being stuck with me."

I groaned. "Everything with you has be explained to your satisfaction, doesn't it?"

"Sh. Keep your voice down," he breathed. "And no, it doesn't. I'd just like to know just how much you hate me, is all."

I looked at him sharply. "Is that what you think?" I asked, almost forgetting to breath the words out. He just looked at me. His eyes seemed naked, like I was looking into his soul. There was so much pain there, and longing, that it was painful for me to see. I looked away. "Your wrong," I told him. "I don't hate you. Sometimes-" I stopped. I'd been about to say 'sometimes I even think I love you,' but I couldn't say that. "Sometimes I think your the most annoying boy on the planet," I said instead, "but I don't hate you. I haven't for a really long time."

His breath caught. I heard it. A sharp intake, so quick I almost thought I imagined it. Except for the eyes. When he'd caught his breath, his eyes changed from painful to hopeful, almost in the blink of an eye. "What were you about to say?" he asked. His voice was still whisper soft, but it was a little unsteady, now.

"I- I wasn't about to say anything," I said. I couldn't tell him the truth.

"Please tell me," he said, and those damned, beautiful eyes had pain in them again, but this time there was also hope, along with the pain and longing.

"I-" I started, but I didn't know how to finish. I decided on the truth. After all, it was only sometimes. I took a deep breath, then let it out. "I was going to say sometimes I even think I love you," I said, all in a rush, as if that would make my words less meaningful; make them have less of an effect. I couldn't have been more wrong.

He looked at me when I said that. Looked at me with such wonder, such happiness, that it took my breath away. I couldn't look away from his eyes. They were mesmerizingly beautiful. His dark brown eyes, set perfectly into his face.

He was leaning toward me. He was moving so slowly that I hadn't noticed before, but now that he was, I still couldn't look away. His mouth was less than a millimeter away from mine. I could feel his breath, hot, against my lips.

He looked toward my eyes one last time before kissing me. Mine were closed, but I felt the slight change in where his breath went on my face. I heard his breath hitch, as he realized I was going actually let him kiss me, this time.

He closed the minuscule gap between our lips, and he was kissing me.

It was as amazing a kiss as the one on the tree had been. No, more so. In order to kiss me without breaking our noses, he'd turned me slightly, so that he was half lying on me, and half on the bed.

His hand was on my cheek. His touch felt, not as if he thought he might break me, but as if I was something precious. Strong, perhaps, but infinitely precious, as if he was more afraid of soiling me with his touch than breaking me.

He pressed his mouth slightly harder on mine, and my heart skipped a beat. I pressed myself closer to his whole body. I was hugging him, now, as we kissed. He was hugging me, too. He was still touching me the same way. It felt like a caress.

I sighed into the kiss, and as I did, my mouth accidentally opened, slightly. He took advantage of that almost right away, and close as we were, I couldn't help but feel his heartbeat skip, as well. His tongue slipped into my mouth, surprising me. I would have expected it to feel disgusting, but it felt wonderful. I pressed myself closer to him, closer to his touch, his caress, his kiss.

I could feel my heart and his, both beating in time together. Both just as fast and hard as the other, neither able to break away. But I was actually running out of air. I hated to break our kiss, but I was going to pass out from lack of air if I didn't. I pulled away, slowly, and opened my eyes.

His were staring into mine, wonderingly, as if asking if the kiss had really just happened. Asking if I was sure this wasn't a dream. He was breathing just as heavily as I was. We were still embracing each other, wrapped in the others arms. I didn't want to let go. I'm sure my eyes were staring at him with the same wonder in them.

He coughed.

"Natsume?" My voice rose a little. He shook his head, trying to smother his coughing, just in case the camera could hear. "Natsume, what's wrong?" I asked again, this time conscious of my volume, but no less urgent than before.

He managed to stop coughing, but he looked to be in pain. "I'm fine," he said. I was about to say that, no he was not fine, when he cut me off. "I'm just a little sick. It's not contagious, so don't worry. I just have a little cough."

I could see that he was too proud to tell me what was really wrong with him. I hoped he really was okay, that it really was nothing, but I doubted it. No small cough could make a person shake how he had when he'd started coughing the first time, but I hoped to whatever God or Gods there were that he would be okay.

"It's late," I breathed to him. "We should go to sleep." He nodded, but didn't release me from his embrace. Instead as I was trying to roll over, he let me, but then put his arm over my body and laid against me so that I could feel his body perfectly.

I gasped slightly, and he recoiled from me, but I looked back at his completely open, completely honest face. Saw his obvious love for me in his eyes, saw a pain that I somehow knew had nothing to do with me.

I snuggled in closer to his body, now, lying so that every curve of my back matched every curve of his body. He stiffened, first, but only for a second before relaxing into my back with his head against me. We fell asleep like that, lying against one another perfectly.

In the morning, Natsume woke me up.

"...Hey!" said a boy's voice. "Wake up! Hey!" I started to wake up. "Wake up," he said again, and I thought I recognized Natsume's voice, but I didn't see how that was possible. "Hey," he said again, and as I opened my eyes, I realized it was Natsume. I was lying, facing Natsume. How did that happen? "Hurry up and let go," he said. And I realized, with some horror, that I was facing Natsume, with my arm draped over him as if I was hugging him.

Not only that, but I was lying so that my lips were in his hair. When I realized that, I hurriedly let go, but not before remembering the night before. Not before remembering the kiss we'd shared.

The one, wonderful, long, drawn out kiss, that hadn't seemed quite real in the moonlight, but that now seemed all too real. I was suddenly too close to Natsume. To close to the boy who I was pretty sure now that I loved. I scrambled away from him, and then someone was knocking on the door.

"They've been knocking for almost two whole minutes," Natsume said, looking at me with his normal expression. It was almost as if the night before had never happened. "They're going to expect the camera to be facing the bed, and us to be stuck together, still," he said, still looking at me normally, talking to me with his normal tone. He was talking quieter than usual, though.

He moved the camera back into place, put the chair back, and gently, ever so gently took my wrist. The only indication at all that anything had happened. Then he pulled me, not gently, but also not as harsh as he might have, toward the door to unlock and answer it.

Behind the door was Tsubasa-senpai, Mind-Reader-kun, and Nameless-kun. Mind-Reader-kun and Nameless-kun had a flag that said "congrats, you two" on it. As soon as I saw it, I started blushing, but then I realized they couldn't know what had actually happened.

"We saw the whole thing on the camera. How come you moved it, Mikan-chan? Natsume-san?"

I froze, but Natsume, who must be the smoothest liar in the world said "I don't like being filmed. It makes me uneasy to know that other people are watching me."

He must have had that response ready, but it still amazed me the smoothness with which he said it.

"Mikan-chan, you didn't care that nothing was stopping Natsume-san from kissing you again?"

"No, Natsume wouldn't do something like that" I said, I was, of course, completely bullshitting. "I knew Natsume wouldn't do anything like that to me. I'm actually not sure why Hotaru put the camera there in the first place." Natsume's hand squeezed my wrist slightly for a second.

"Also, we heard some of the talking this morning. How come Mikan had to "let go," Natsume-san?" Mind-Reader. He now knew exactly what had happened and exactly what "let go" was about. Stupid tease.

"Mikan was lying with her arm draped over me. I had to tell her to get off. She was actually almost hugging me." He sounded smug now, the stupid idiot. Even the best actors can't act that well. He's actually bragging to them.

Then I realized exactly what he'd said. "No, no, it wasn't like that at all!" I said, freaking out a little. Tears actually came out of my eyes. I was proud of myself. "It definitely wasn't me! This Guy came and leaned on me!"

"I do not recall any such thing. Are you muddle headed?"

"You're the one who's muddle-headed from sleep!"

Tsubasa-senpai laughed. "Either way, it's breakfast time. You two need to get downstairs."

We got our slippers and went down to breakfast. While I was eating, I thought about Natsume. About the differences between the Natsume from the night before, and the normal Natsume. I realized I loved them both, but there was one thought that I realized I needed to focus on: He might have been sweet, and cute last night, but the normal him is not cute or sweet at all! I think I was too kind when I thought about him last night. He might be sweet sometimes, but he is almost never cute.

With this in mind, I was able to (at least in part) refocus my brain to what was actually happening around me. I'm sure I seemed a little distracted the whole day, but I had a good reason to be: I'd just found out which of the boys who loved me I loved back. At some point, soon, I would have to break Ruka-pyon's heart.