Disclaimer - The characters portrayed within this work of fiction do not belong to me. So do us both a favor and save the lawsuits for someone you can actually get something out of. And the lyrics to Vanessa Carlton's song 'Rinse' don't belong to me either. So find someone else to bother.
A/N - This story came out of nowhere the other day when I was arguing with my boyfrie…er…guy friend. For some reason, I found this song hitting a bit closer to home than I expected. Hope you enjoy,
A.A.
Oh, and the song lyrics are bold and italicized.
Facets #5
Rinse
She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye
He's been silent for the past two weeks. And somehow she doubted the demi-god of her youth was going to break the habit tonight.
Sakura reached for the pouch of kunai she had deposited on the table earlier, deftly putting them in her hip-pouch and latching the clasp shut. The young woman could feel the tenseness in the air, a feeling of worry and dread mixed with determination and a hint of anticipation. It was an intoxicating combination that any shinobi would recognize as a precursor to a major mission or battle. Some shinobi thrived off the feeling of confronting the unexpected, of getting an adrenaline rush that would last for hours on end.
Sakura just felt numb. And she was positive she wasn't the only one. Kotetsu and Izumo were eerily quiet, and Shizune kept biting her bottom lip nervously. Even Tsunade looked withdrawn and pensive.
After all these years, after countless struggles and lives that had been lost…things were finally going to end. The struggle against Orochimaru was nearing its grand finale.
Sakura shuffled some papers around, desperate to have something to occupy herself with until the ranks arrived and were given their orders by the Godaime. The young woman glanced down at the papers she was shuffling, finding a roughly drawn map of the northern part of Fire Country that showed the position of sleeper cells of Konoha ninjas throughout the area. Off to the side she recognized the flowing script of none other than Sasuke Uchiha, the traitor who'd left Konoha then returned without so much as a warning.
She knew her childhood crush on Sasuke was still something her other teammates like to poke fun at. And to be honest, looking back now, she could see why they believed her to nothing more than a vapid fan-girl. She had eaten, slept and breathed Sasuke Uchiha from the time she first laid eyes on him in the Academy. When she was put on the same Genin squad as him, she'd rejoiced. It was only later, when he'd defected from Konoha to search out Orochimaru that she came to an important realization.
It didn't matter how much she cared or what she did for him…he didn't feel the same. And even if he did care about her as a teammate or a friend, it wasn't strong enough to keep him from leaving her behind in his quest for power.
She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise
She'd been forced to see things in the real world after that…not through some Uchiha induced, rose colored glasses. She had learned first hand what the pangs of betrayal felt like. She'd grown up quickly after that, honing her intrinsic chakra abilities to the point that she could level a small mountain with a well placed punch. The exponential growth in her ninja abilities was reflected in the growth of her mentality and outlook. She still cared about Sasuke, still worried about his safety, but she'd learned not to stress over something that she really couldn't change.
Two and a half years passed, and Naruto returned with Jiraiya to Konoha.
Then, two weeks before the third anniversary of Sasuke's disappearance…he popped up in the Hokage's office.
Sakura still didn't know exactly what happened when her perpetually half-drunk sensei had found the fifteen year old Uchiha standing quietly in the corner of her office that morning. If Shizune's account was anything to go by, the woman had simply walked over to her desk, pulled out a bottle of sake, and regarded the teenager with a cold glare before asking what the hell was he doing there, and had Orochimaru decided to teach him how to be a thief since he'd resorted to breaking and entering.
Whatever had been said and done, promised and exchanged, admitted and forgiven, Sasuke Uchiha had walked out of the Hokage's office nearly sixteen hours later without a scratch on him. The fact that he was alive was a miracle anyway, especially after Shizune had alerted ANBU. The masked shinobi had swarmed the building, more than just a bit pissed that the traitor had managed to slip past the sentries on guard around the gate.
And making ANBU angry was tantamount to signing your death certificate and handing it over to the coroner for filing.
Sakura had tried to help the reclusive genius upon his return. But it didn't matter what she did, he remained aloof and disinterested. She'd asked herself thousands of time why she even bothered with him anymore, but it was always the same answer.
She cared about him.
She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright
But there was a difference. Her affection was not tainted with the fleeting feelings of infatuation like when she'd been a teenager. She realized that her love for the Uchiha stemmed from respect more than any esthetic component. She wanted to help him acclimate himself to Konoha again, because she cared about him as a friend, a teammate and colleague…not a potential lover.
The silent ridicule she endured for trying to help him readjust…the fights she found herself in when another shinobi actually managed to scrape up the nerve to say something to her…the alienation of being the 'traitor's wench'….she had dealt with every single bit of it as the accusations had flown around her.
Sakura just wished she knew where she stood in his eyes. He'd believed her to be weak and useless as Genins. What was his opinion of her now? She only wished she really knew what he was thinking when he looked at her with those ebony eyes.
For answers to questions that will haunt her tonight
Now, four years after Sasuke's return to Konoha, they were gearing up for the final fight against Orochimaru and the ranks of Akatsuki, which the Sannin had rejoined after Sasuke had left his side. Sasuke had been allowed to join ANBU ops eight months ago, despite the fact that he was still under twenty-four hour surveillance.
The door to her sensei's conference room opened, and she lowered her eyes as dozens of ANBU walked in and assembled in rank. She didn't have to look at them to know exactly where Sasuke was. Even with the uniformity that clouded the ninja's appearance, she knew exactly where he was in the lines before her. She knew him, almost as well as she knew the back of her own hands, had memorized his posture and small, inconspicuous movements that defined him from everyone else.
She must rinse this all away
Tsunade rose from her desk and walked forward to address the masked men and women before her. Sakura forced her attention forward, knowing that the Jounins would be called in after the blonde Hokage was finished with ANBU. She and Naruto had made Jounin the year before, joining the ranks of Kakashi, Kurenai, and the others. It had been an auspicious occasion, one she'd never really thought she'd see. But she had finally made it to Jounin. And like the other Jounin who had welcomed her, the desire to protect what she so loved had grown exponentially.
Unfortunately, it seemed like one of the things, one of the people she most treasured was on a downward spiral into depression.
She can't hold him this way
Sasuke had given no indication or acknowledgement of her or Naruto's accomplishment. Sakura had not really expected any overture of congratulations from him anyway. But his careless dismissal of her promotion with a cold 'You finally made Jounin? It took you long enough, Sakura.' had hurt her feelings and angered her to the point of wanting to attack him and point out that not everyone had a homicidal, snake obsessed Sannin (who was consequently more concerned with acquiring the Sharingen than actually teaching anything) for a sensei at some point in their life.
Instead, she'd thrown it off, preferring to let Naruto and his angry tirade be her defense against Sasuke's obvious indifference. After all, she was a high level medic. She had bigger things to concern herself with than the Uchiha's maniacal ego.
She must rinse this all away
Sakura pulled her attention forward as Tsuande handed down her orders to ANBU. The pink haired young woman stepped down to hand a few papers to each of the ANBU squad captains along the front row. As she passed by the last one and handed the papers to Yamato (another man who she'd know despite the mask and dark clothing), she chanced a glance one final time towards Sasuke.
He was silent. He was still. The perfect example of an emotionless ninja behind a white masked painted with red lines to resemble raven.
She can't love him this way
He was going into this battle with the intent to die...to take Itachi down with him. And despite all her attempts until then, there was nothing she could do about it.
How she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see
'Where are they? Where are they?' Tsunade thought fiercely, pushing branch after branch out of her way in her frantic search to track down the two familiar chakra signatures. Her legs were sore, her mind practically mush, and her body running on nothing but pure adrenaline as she felt one of her target's chakra energy plummet somewhere near the seventh layer of hell. 'Dear gods, please…' she begged silently. 'Please let them be alright…I can't do this again…I can't lose someone else…'
The blonde kunoichi jumped down from the branches, all out sprinting as the two energies she was following continued to battle each other…despite the fact that one of them was drastically reduced. There was an explosion ahead of her, and she was almost thrown back into a nearby tree by the shock waves.
'Orochimaru….Jiraiya…..'
After the debris quit flying, she took off again at a breakneck speed. She knew she had to get to her two boys before one of them wound up dead. And at the rate it was going…it seemed like the victim would be Jiraiya.
His chakra energy had just disappeared.
She broke through the tree line moments later, her hazel eyes taking in what was undoubtedly the battle site for her two teammates. The princess of Konoha withheld the urge to wretch at the sight that lay before her. The carnage was apparent, even worse than some of the battles she'd seen during the war. Full grown oaks were splintered in half, dozens of feet of ground were burned bare of grass, and the air still radiated with an all too familiar taste of chakra.
Tsunade acted quickly, searching out the steadily weakening chakra vibes that were originating somewhere in the mass of fallen trees and burning limbs. Her immense strength pulled and threw the man sized logs and trees out of the way until she found the bleeding, still form of Jiraiya underneath a pile of oaks.
She needs to be held in his arms to be free
"Jiraiya! What's going on? Where's Orochimaru?" she asked quickly, gathering chakra into her hands to heal his wounds. The white headed Jounin was lying in a pool of blood, and Tsunade had no doubt that the majority of it was his own. Jiraiya's glazed eyes looked at her, though not really seeing her, as she worked to repair the worst of the damage he'd sustained.
"Tsu..na..de…" he choked, blood trickling out his mouth.
"Yeah, I'm here, pervert." she teased, trying to keep the worry out of her voice despite the fact that she was terrified. "Stay with me, Jiraiya…"
"Orochi…betray…"
"I figured as much." Tsunade answered, although the words tasted bitter on her tongue. She watched his face for some kind of reaction, only to almost have heart failure when his eyes rolled into the back of his head and his head fell to the side.
"Jiraiya! Jiraiya, don't you dare leave me here, you asshole!" she pleaded, channeling more of her healing chakra into his broken body. "Wake up! Don't you even think about dying on me, you jerk!"
But everything happens for reasons that she will never understand
"He is far from dead." a cool voice said, causing goose bumps to crawl up Tsunade's back. She stood up and whirled around, her breathing heavy and her eyes wide as she leveled her questioning gaze onto the pale face of her old teammate. Orochimaru jumped from the limb he'd taken refuge on, walking casually towards her, a knowing smirk on his face.
Tsunade didn't know what to do.
Her mind was telling her that this shinobi…this…this creature….was responsible for the shape Jiraiya was in. And she knew she should be gearing up to rip his head off in retaliation. But her heart was bleeding, trying to tell her that there was a reason for the madness surrounding her. Tsunade, never one to ever hesitate to act when the need arose, could do nothing more than stare at Orochimaru as he closed the space between them, his arms folded across his chest as he looked down at Jiraiya's broken body. Her chaotic mind had only one question for him:
"What…Orochimaru, why?" she asked, shaking her head at him. The snake Sanin regarded her coolly, but did not make any attempt to attack her.
"I have reached my potential within Konoha. The ultimate power I seek is not there. I cannot attain what I wish within its confines." he answered succinctly, his cold gaze trained on her. "There is nothing left for me in that village."
And she knows that the heart of a woman will never be found in the arms of a man
Tsunade knew she should have seen this coming months ago. Orochimaru had been on a quest for ultimate power for years, even when they were still Genins under Sarutobi-sensei's watch. But she still couldn't fathom what she was seeing before her eyes. Sure, Jiraiya and Orochimaru had never really been the best of friends, but she'd never thought the palest member of their group would ever turn renegade and attack Jiraiya with the intent of actually killing him.
Of course, she knew she housed a bias opinion of the snake summoner. Even Sarutobi-sensei and Jiraiya knew of her infatuation with her teammate, and were well aware of how she would find a way to justify his actions…no matter what he did that angered everyone else.
Jiraiya got sent to the hospital after finishing a spar with Orochimaru? Tsunade told him he should have been paying better attention to his opponent instead of trying to ogle the kunoichi across the field. Never mind the fact that there wasn't any other kunoichi besides herself on the training grounds.
A mission Orochimaru was heading went wrong? Tsunade berated Jiraiya for not waiting for Orochimaru's instructions to move in on the target. Never mind the fact that Orochimaru had already told them to use their best judgment and act accordingly.
But now…somehow…she knew she couldn't justify what he'd done to Jiraiya. Not this time.
"You should go." the pale man said quietly.
"What about us?" she demanded hotly, ignoring him. She couldn't leave him…not like this…not without answers. "Orochimaru, we're your teammates! Are you just going to leave us like this?"
"Yes."
"I don't want….Orochimaru…what about…?"
"What?"
"What about….me?"
"You don't need me, princess." he said quietly, reaching out to gently stroke a lock of her hair away from her sweaty face. "You already have someone who loved you more than I could. Or more than the other one ever will."
"What are you…"
She must rinse this all away
Jiraiya's agonized groan interrupted her question, and she forced herself to look down into the man's pain glazed eyes. His handsome face was covered in bruises and weeping gashes. Tsunade fell to her knees beside him, quickly gathering more chakra into her hands and placing them over the gashes, healing the wounds with quick efficiency.
"Bast…he is….trees…in…trees…" Jiraiya muttered brokenly, not realizing the ninja who'd put him in this position was standing much closer than he thought.
"I know." Tsunade said calmly, smoothing back the bloodstained white hair. "It's okay, Jiraiya. Calm down."
"Tsun..ade…caref..ul."
"Be quiet." she said gruffly, moving her green lit hands over his head to check for cranial damage.
"Get..away..hurt…you…kill…him…"
"He's not going to hurt me, pervert." she said, trying to make her voice as light as possible. "Orochimaru's not that stupid."
"Bas..tard…"
"I know." Tsunade mumbled, looking up into the emotionless face of the snake summoner.
"Now do you understand?" the pale man asked dully. Tsunade swallowed the lump in her throat, her worry giving way to the anger she was so well known for.
"Damnit, Orochimaru!" Tsunade snapped. "What the hell are you thinking?"
She can't hold anybody this way
"Be lucky I didn't kill him." the snake master answered coldly, unaffected by her ire after so many years.
"It would have been more merciful if you had." Tsunade answered brokenly, fighting back the tears threatening to fall as she continued to rectify the damage that had been inflicted on the toad master. Jiraiya was in bad shape…worse than anything he'd ever sustained before.
Even with her expertise…she knew he may not make it back to Konoha.
"His misguided ideals will be his demise eventually." Orochimaru answered loftily. "There is no point in me expending my energy to expedite his death when it will come soon enough."
Tsunade looked up from the battered body of the man sprawled in her lap, focusing wet eyes on the passive face of the other man.
"You…you monster…" she muttered. "How could you…how could you say that after all he's done for you?"
"What he's done for me?" Orochimaru asked, a hint of laughter tingeing his voice. "He was never any more than a training puppet I used to further my own plans, just like everyone else in that pathetic village."
"Everyone, Orochimaru?" she questioned quietly, knowing the answer before it ever left his mouth.
She must rinse this all away
"Everyone."
"Fool…" Jiraiya choked. "Greedy…idiot…"
"Quit talking, Jiraiya." Tsunade ordered imperiously. "Save your energy. For once, listen to me, dumbass!"
"Kill…him…Tsuna..de…kill…him…now.." Jiraiya choked. Tsunade's heart shattered into a million pieces, watching as the white headed man lost the battle against his body and finally succumb to the dark void of unconsciousness that was calling to him. She had corrected as much of the damage as she could for the time being, but she needed to get him back to the hospital as soon as possible.
But first, she had someone else to deal with. She stood up, and drew her arm back to punch the living daylights out of the man across from her. She blindly swung at Orochimaru, but the other Sannin had anticipated her move and easily caught her ill-timed attack. He caught her fist in his hand, and grabbed her other wrist with another.
"How ridiculously pathetic." Orochimaru sneered, pushing her away. She stumbled, but caught herself before tripping over the debris littering the forest floor. Tsuande glared up at the pale man, her anger coming back in full force. "I don't know which one of you is worse."
She can't love him…..
"Get out of here." she said menacingly, pulling herself to her full height and glaring up at the smirking Sannin. She couldn't do it. She couldn't attack him with the intent to kill him. Her heart just wouldn't let her do it. Jiraiya was lying at her feet, on the verge of death, and she couldn't bring herself to rectify the situation. "Get the hell out of here, and don't you ever come back!"
"And if I do?" Orochimaru asked simply. Tsunade's hands balled into bloody fists as she stared the snake master down.
"So help me God, I'll kill you."
And if she runs away she fears she won't be followed
The slamming of a door broke the otherwise silent air of the night. A young woman with brunette hair pulled her jacket around her tightly as she done her best to hold back hot tears that threatened to escape her dark eyes. 'How could he?' she thought brokenly, her calloused hand reaching up to rub away the little droplets that were escaping despite her best efforts. 'He…he…knew I…Damnit Kakashi!'
She hunkered down against the light raindrops that were falling, wishing she could just disappear into the rather thick fog that was beginning to roll in. The young kunoichi turned the corner around the building, only to feel the familiar white-hot chakra signature of her old teammate.
The teammate who she was always paired with on missions because they had quite possibly the best teamwork of any other two Jounins in Konoha.
The ninja who had been gifted with the Uchiha's Sharingen despite the fact he was no part of the family bloodline.
The somewhat reclusive genius who she'd come to love more than anyone else since their years as untrained Genins.
The man who'd been in the process of pulling the clothes off another woman, while simultaneously sticking his tongue down her throat, when she'd walked into his little apartment.
Rin caught sight of a flash of silver as it jumped across the building top, and she tightened the hold on her feelings, knowing Kakashi was about to catch up with her.
"Rin!" the familiar voice called out hoarsely, causing her to stop dead in her tracks. "Wait a minute! Let me explain!"
She looked off to the sides as he jumped down and closed the space between them. She couldn't look at him, not now. Not after seeing him with another woman only weeks after he'd pointedly turned aside her long-standing affections for him.
How could he do this to her? Especially when she'd told him she was coming over to talk to him this evening. She wished the rain could just wash away the sight now permanently burned into her retinas.
"I'm sorry." she mumbled. "I didn't know you had company this evening. I'd have…waited to tell you…" She ran a hand through her hair, trying to figure out what to say to him.
"It's…it's okay." he said, pulling a white shirt over his head. "What are you doing here? What's wrong?"
What could be worse than leaving something behind
"I'm leaving on a mission in a few hours to Earth Country." she said quickly. "Just wanted to let you know so you wouldn't worry when I didn't show up for training in the morning."
"Solo mission?" he asked.
"No. San's being sent as well." she answered immediately. She knew he was wondering why he hadn't been assigned as well. Everyone knew they were always paired together for missions. The only exception was when Kakashi was assigned an ANBU mission.
"What's the mission parameters?" he asked quickly, slipping the ever present mask over the lower half of his face…but not before Rin caught sight of a telling red mark red below his right ear.
"Recon."
"How long?"
"A few days. A week, maybe." she said, even though she knew it was a lie when the words left her mouth.
And as the depth of oceans slowly become shallow
"I see." Kakashi said, scratching the back of his perpetually mussed hair. Rin's heart was beating so loud she could feel the vibrations in her chest. She had to get away from him.
"Yeah, well, I gotta get going. I've still got some packing left to do." she mumbled, turning away from him before she started crying. "Later, Kakashi."
"Rin, wait." he said quietly. She stopped, swallowing the lump that was quickly forming in her throat. She looked over her shoulder, finding a contrite looking Kakashi. It was an expression that was foreign on his handsome face…and her heart shattered again. "I'm sorry, for what you saw." he said, jerking his thumb back towards the apartment building. "Kimiko...she…we...I…"
It's loneliness she finds...
"Are you happy with her, Kakashi?" Rin asked suddenly, needing to know the answer herself. She loved the man before her, enough to lay down her life. But knowing he didn't reciprocate her feelings…well, she'd dealt with the blow as well as she could. She honestly wanted him to be happy…even if it wasn't with her. Overhead, a lightning bolt…so very similar of the Copy-nin's signature Chidori attack…lit up the sky. A blast of thunder reverberated a few seconds later, a telling sign of the storm to come.
"I….yeah, I am."
If only he was mine…
The brunette woman smiled and cocked her head to the side, then reached up to ruffle the young man's hair lightly. The silver strands were being weighed down by the lightly drizzling drops of rain, the precursor to an impending all out thunderstorm, making them fall around his face. Rin realized once again how incredibly young he suddenly seemed.
Kakashi grunted, but didn't move away. Rin knew he was humoring her, just like he always did when she initiated any physical contact with him.
"Rin?"
"Then that's all that matters." she said with a deceptive smile. "As long as you're happy."
She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye
Sakura tossed her bag of medical supplies into the flimsy tent that had been set up right outside the area one of the sleeper cells occupied. The second wave of shinobi had left Konoha two days ago, traveling nonstop to get here before dawn on the third day.
There were shinobi milling about, chatting with the other nins who had been stationed in the area on lookout for the past few months. Sakura knew that Naruto was somewhere in camp, as was Yamato's and Yuago's ANBU squads. She closed the flap of her tent and headed directly for the main area that would eventually double as the medical facilities once this fight was underway and the siege laid to Orochimaru and Akatsuki's hideout.
"Good to see you made it, Sakura-chan." Shizune said warmly, giving her a strained smile when she pushed through the curtains surrounding the makeshift emergency room. "No problems getting here?"
"No. But Tsuande-sama said to tell you that she'll be arriving tomorrow with the last of the Jounins and Chunins." Sakura said, relaying the message from her sensei to the older woman. "There were a few things that she had to finish taking care of before she left the village."
"I understand." Shizune replied, handing her a clipboard. Sakura took it, then glanced down.
"What's this?"
"Sector assignments." she explained. "You're with me over on the East side."
"What'll we be working on?" Sakura asked.
"Whatever they bring us." Shizune said simply. "We'll have the most serious cases. Less critical wounds will be handled by the other medics on the West and North sides."
"I understand." Sakura said quietly. Shizune gave her a pat on the shoulder and walked away, more than likely to check on preparations that were being made elsewhere. Sakura ambled her way across the sprawling area, finding the eastern side she'd be confined to. Granted, confined was only a lose term. She could, and more than likely would, work in any sector of the tent. After all, battles and wars didn't exactly follow a set schedule or ETA. They'd make do with what they had.
The young woman walked between the small curtained off areas, checking to make sure there was a sufficient amount of gauze and antiseptic wipes in the drawers. A small pack of soldier pills were taped on the plastic wall in case they were needed, right along with chakra replenishing pills and clean towels that were stacked on top of a small table in the center of the area. Everything was ready to go.
Sakura looked around one last time, realizing that the harsh antiseptic smell she'd gotten used to in the hospital was present in the tent as well. It wouldn't last long, though. Time and fate had proven one thing to her over and over again…
The pungent smell of blood would drowned out any other scent once enough of it was spilt.
It always did.
She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise
The bright light that filtered in through the hospital windows was hampered by the thick curtains she'd hung up in Jiraiya's room. Even now, four days after the fight with Orochimaru, the toad master had not awoken. Tsunade sighed, using her chakra laced hands to check for any remaining damage they might have missed He'd been so close to dying…so close to leaving her alone again. She braced herself and refused to let her tears come again. She'd cried enough the past few days, and it hadn't helped either one of them.
Her checkup complete, the blonde kunoichi slumped into a nearby chair, her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands as she tried to calm her raging emotions.
Anger and outrage mixed readily with sadness and despair. It was a dangerously volatile combination, especially in a woman who could level three city blocks with one good punch.
"Tsu…nade?"
"Jiraiya?" she asked, training her eyes on the body wrapped in white sheets. She was on her feet and at his side in an instant. "You're awake. Thank the gods."
"Don't sound so…surprised, princess." he murmured, giving her a lazy grin completely out of place given his current status.
"Idiot." she murmured.
"I'm sorry, Tsunade. I…I couldn't bring him back." the man said brokenly, his hand catching her forearm where it rested on the bedrail.
"It's okay." she said reassuringly. "Don't worry about it."
"But…you…"
"It's okay, Jiraiya. You did your best…we both did." she said quietly, gripping the hand resting on her forearm and giving the man a sad smile. "There's nothing else we can do now. He's…he's on his own now."
She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright
Rin knew the sun would be cresting over the trees at any moment. She also knew that it would be the last time she saw such a magnificent sunrise from her spot at Konoha's entrance gate. She looked over at San, the other kunoichi who had been assigned to the mission, then up at the Chunin who was walking towards them, a blonde baby in his arms. The medic kunoichi smiled brokenly, seeing the remnants of sleep in the two year old's eyes as he focused on her face.
"Win-win!" the baby chortled, reaching out to grab at the chocolate locks hanging alongside her face. Iruka grinned and handed the now awake boy to her. The kunoichi smiled and used one hand to dislodge the baby's grip on her hair when he tangled his fingers in the thick mass.
"Don't jerk my hair, Naruto." she said, tickling him until he laughed. "That's not nice."
"Win-win go 'way?" he asked, looking down at the pack by her feet. "Me come!"
"You can't go with me." she said, straightening his bib. "Not this time. You're gonna stay with Iruka for a few days, okay?"
"No! You stay!" he said petulantly.
"She's be back in a few days, Naruto." Iruka said, taking to boy from her arms.
"No! Stay 'ere!" the toddler cried.
"I'll tell you what, kid. Let's go get some ramen for breakfast. Sound good?" Iruka wheedled.
"Food?" the blue eyed baby asked, his attention suddenly diverted. "Wamen?"
"Yes, ramen." Iruka said, grinning.
"Wamen!! Wamen, 'ruka!"
"He's easy to pacify." an amused voice said. Rin turned around, spotting the familiar head of silver hair that belonged to her teammate. She stiffened up immediately, wondering what the hell he was doing there.
For answers to questions that will haunt her tonight
It was bad enough she was having to leave Naruto, knowing she wasn't likely to see him again for a very long time because of the mission specs.
She didn't want to say goodbye to Kakashi as well…not like this.
She must rinse him
The Godaime's arrival at the camps was much too early. The blonde woman arrived a few hours before dawn, grim faced and spouting out orders to the Jounins and ANBU alike.
The fight has started. A nearby sleeper cell had come under attack from Sound ninjas only minutes before.
Sakura's heart almost stopped beating at the news. It was too early. There was no way…they weren't ready….she wasn't ready.
"Crane! Bear! Panther! I want your squads on this now!" the Godaime yelled, referring to the mask types ANBU wore. Sakura froze. Sasuke was on Panther's squad…Yamato's group.
Tsunade was sending Sasuke in to fight on the front lines!
The pink headed woman rushed towards where Tsuande was rapidly discussing plans with the two ANBU's she'd called out while the rest of the camp scurried into activity. The remaining nine members of the three platoons stood off to the side, awaiting their orders. Sakura struggled through the crowd, trying to get to Sasuke's side.
She didn't know what she would tell him…but the least she could do would be to tell him to be careful, to try and come back alive and mostly in one piece. Her eyes caught sight of her old teammate's spiky hair, and she done her damndest to get to his side before they left. But before she could get more than a few feet, someone's hand on her shoulder stopped her dead in her tracks. She whirled around and found Shizune looking at her.
"Let's go, Sakura. We've got work to do." she said calmly.
"But I….Sasuke…." Sakura muttered, looking back at the ANBU group that remained still in the midst of all the activity.
"He's being sent out, Sakura." she said quietly. "There's nothing you can do about it now. All you can do is pray that they'll come back alive."
She must rinse him
"Didn't expect to see you this morning." San commented drolly. "What's the occasion, Hatake?" The Copy-nin just shrugged and walked over to where Rin was standing.
"Mornin'." he said, giving them a half wave. Iruka nodded, and Rin mustered up a half grin at him, knowing things were about to get a bit more complicated.
"Look out for him until I get back, Iruka." Rin said, taking the baby into her arms and bouncing him a little before handing him back. "I shouldn't be more than a few days."
"Count on it." Iruka said. Rin watched as Naruto, obviously losing interest in what was going on around him, laid his head down on Iruka's shoulder.
"Thanks again, 'ruka."
"Anytime, Rin. You know that."
"We should get going." San commented.
"Yeah. We should." Rin agreed.
"Win-win…"
"What is it, Naruto?" she asked, scratching the little boy's head lightly, watching as his eyes drifted shut as sleep began to overtake him.
"You come…back 'ere?"
"Oh, Naruto…." she said with a smile. "You go on to sleep. Iruka's going to take you for ramen, after you wake up, alright?"
"M'kay." he yawned, burrowing into Iruka's shoulder. "Night-night, Win-win."
"Good night, Naruto. Sleep tight."
"Wuv you...Win-win."
Rin froze, her throat choking up at the toddler's words.
Oh dear gods…how much worse could this morning get?
She can't rinse him
Tsunade, relieved beyond belief that her teammate had finally woken up, went over a quick cognitive check up, noting Jiraiya's progress on the clipboard hanging at the end of his bed. The man remained sullenly silent while she wrote, and Tsunade felt uneasy in the quiet. Aggravating though his antics usually were, she wished he'd pull out that ridiculous scroll he was always carrying around and tease her about that horrid story he was working on. Even his 'data gathering' would be a welcome relief.
"There's nothing we could have done to keep him here, Jiraiya." she said soothingly. "Don't blame yourself."
"How could he?" the man questioned. "Why?"
"I wish I knew." she responded. "He's stupid. Everything he said was just…stupid." Tsunade muttered angrily, looking out of the window and into the street below.
"Most of it, yeah." Jiraiya said quietly. Tsunade felt calloused fingers wrap gently around her hand, and she looked down at the man she'd known since her first day at the Academy. His thumb smoothed over her fingers, a surprisingly delicate touch from a man whose annoyingly loud persona often times overshadowed everything else. "But he wasn't wrong…on all accounts."
Tsunade looked at their clasped hands and back at Jiraiya's painfully depressed expression. She knew he was expecting her to say something to him…to give him some kind of sign that she understood the message he was trying to send her. The blonde kunoichi had picked up on his attraction to her years ago…but had figured it would wane in time. It never had, despite the fact that she had harbored a crush on Orochimaru for years as a Genin and Chunin, and the fact that she was now in a relationship with Dan.
Instead, she gave him a half grin and squeezed his hand..
"We'll make it through this." she murmured reassuringly.
Right then, it was all she could offer him. Because she wasn't as sure of her words as she'd like to be.
She can't rinse him
Come back alive.
Pray they'd come back alive.
How many others, Sakura thought morbidly, had not come back alive? How many of the ninjas who were getting ready to go into battle, had had their lives entwined with the man…the legend…they were about to face off against.
Sakura caught a flash of red as Kurenai literally flew past her…an expression on her beautiful face that Sakura had never seen before. Right on her side was Anko, a morbid smile on her lips that just screamed of death and destruction
'Asuma.' she thought, remembering the death of the Jounin some years ago. Kurenai had been deeply affected by her lover's death, and everyone knew it. And Anko…well, her past was so deeply tied in with her former sensei that Sakura had no doubt that half-crazed woman would gladly die to kill Orochimaru.
How many more had suffered at that bastard's hands?
Gai had died in an ambush on his to a mission, as had Tonbo and Aoba a few months back. Ebisu had been captured and tortured to death, his body finally found in a river along the northern borders. Suzume had taken a fatal hit to save Raidou during a mission gone bad. The scarred Jounin had survived, but had been thrown into a depressive slump over what had happened.
Survivor's guilt, is what Tsuande had called it.
Sakura privately told herself that was more like the recoil of watching your lover of seven years get herself killed just so you can go on.
And there were so many others. Even those from Suna had felt the damage. Sakura had heard from Hinata that the Sand sibling's Jounin instructor Baki had been killed, as well as three other Chunins during a raid that had left Kankuro clinging to his life. The death and destruction was everywhere, and Sakura knew it was only going to get worse before it got better.
Before this was over, she'd be bathed in blood…none of which would be hers.
She can't, she won't, she must rinse him
"He's out of it." Kakashi mumbled, watching the little boy finally nod off.
"I should be getting back." Iruka said quietly. "He's still got a few hours of sleep left in him."
"Thanks again, Iruka." Rin said, running her hands through the toddler's hair.
"You should get going. The sooner you get this over with, the sooner you'll be back." Kakashi said, reaching out to give her a tight hug. Rin stiffened, wondering why her old teammate was voluntarily initiating physical contact….especially with her…after what she'd seen the night before. The sound of metal on metal caught her ears, and Rin's left hand went to her pocket, finding something cold and metal.
"What…."
"I'm sorry, Rin." Kakashi said quietly. "For…for everything."
"Kakashi, I can't…" she said, realizing what he'd just given her.
"Let's go, Rin!" San called out, looking down from the tree.
"Coming!" she called out, then turned her attention back to the young man who was holding her in a friendly embrace. "Kakashi, I can't…you gotta…I keep these!"
"Don't worry about it. Maybe'll they bring you good luck during the mission."
Rin could feel the tears welling up as Kakashi's embrace tightened fractionally. She felt so guilty for not telling him…for not explaining what was going to happen…for not warning him what her part in it was going to be. But it was too late now, even if she wanted to, she didn't have time to explain.
Time was running short as it was, and she knew he'd try to stop her if he knew the truth about her mission.
"Be safe. And come back in one piece." he said quietly, finally letting her go.
"Of course." she said. Rin shouldered her pack and fingered the tags that he'd slipped into her pocket. The cool raised metal was as stark reminder of exactly what she wanted to forget.
She knew she had to get out of there before her resolve broke and she burst out into a torrent of tears.
Somehow she hadn't expected leaving to be this hard.
She must rinse this all away
She stayed with him until the pain medication kicked in and began to work their magic. Jiraiya fell asleep without a fight, and Tsunade petted his head lightly…something she only rarely done. The moments of peacefulness between the two of them were rare, and instances of gentleness even more so.
He was her teammate, and had been a source of support for her ever since her brother's death. She couldn't deny, and wouldn't dare try, admit that he held a special place in her heart. He'd always pushed her, always been there to pick her up when she fell. Even Dan, who she loved with her entire being, knew of the special bond she'd shared with her two teammates. He didn't question her loyalty to her boys, just as she never questioned his loyalty to his old Genin squad.
But this thing with Orochimaru…she still didn't know how to handle it. Her mind had processed the fact that he was gone, turned renegade missing-nin, and undoubtedly had a team of ANBU hunter-nins trailing after him by now. But she couldn't figure out why. Why was Orochimaru so obsessed with being the perfect, most powerful shinobi alive? Why?
No one was perfect, and Tsunade would be the first to admit she was far from living on a pedestal. And in her heart, she doubted there was such a thing as 'perfect' for a shinobi. How could Orochimaru betray his teammates, his sensei, his village, in a quest for something so obscure as perfection?
She thought it a waste of time and energy.
But Orochimaru obviously thought otherwise, and had used Jiraiya as proof of those ideals. Tsuande resigned herself to knowing that she'd done what she could, and would undoubtedly be called on to do even more when the Sandaime got over the shock of finding out his favorite Genin went renegade.
And as she looked down at Jiraiya's peaceful face…one thought permeated her mind….
'Failure…is not an option open to us right now.'
She can't hold him this way
Naruto appeared in front of her without warning, and Sakura was momentarily distracted by the blonde's insistent questioning. She answered him, although she couldn't tell anyone what his question had been if they asked her two minutes later. All she had gathered from his rapid gibberish was that he was being sent out with Jiraiya's platoon, and would be back as soon as possible now that they had gotten their orders from Tsunade.
Sakura knew what those orders were…she'd been there when Tsunade had told ANBU the same thing days before. The orders were clear, concise, and straight to the point.
Get in. Kill the enemy. Get out with as few casualties as possible.
Simple enough orders until you factored in exactly who the enemy was.
She watched as the ANBU captains returned to their squads. Two seconds later, the nine men and women blurred out of sight.
"Sakura! Quit daydreaming!" Shizune's shrill voice ordered. The pink headed kunoichi pulled herself to the here and now, sprinting back to her tent.
Time was of the essence, and everyone knew it. She opened the flap to her tent, grabbed her gear, then tossed her bag onto her shoulder…one thought permeating through her mind like a collective mantra…
'Failure is not an option.'
She must rinse this all away
"You sure about this, Rin?" San asked when the other woman landed on the branch next to her. "You can still back out, you know."
Rin knew very well that she couldn't really call this mission off, even if she really wanted to. The point of no return was before them. Four days from then, when word got back to Konoha that she and San had been attacked by a group of enemy nins on their way back from this mission. Well…she didn't want to think about how the other Jounins were going to react.
The medic kunoichi glanced back down at the two men and one toddler standing below her, and she slightly smiled. As hard as it was to fathom…she was doing this for them. To keep them safe in a battle that would be unfolding with Orochimaru. She didn't know when the fight would happen, all she knew was that it was going to happen. And given the state of Konoha's shinobi ranks, there was no way they could stand another attack. The village would be decimated without reinforcements.
And that's exactly what she was about to do.
She wiped her eyes, the sadness of the situation she was in beginning to break through despite her small smile. Unfortunately, what was left of her smile turned rather sour when she caught sight of a woman with dark green hair as she blurred into vision not far from Kakashi.
"That her?" San groused, picking up on the chakra signature of the newcomer.
"Yeah."
"Go figure." San groused. Rin refrained from saying anything as the woman walked to Kakashi, slipping her hand into his arm. Iruka was in the process of saying his goodbyes, and was walking back towards his apartment by then. Rin felt her heart crack a bit more, but she pulled herself together, and jumped from the branch. She heard San grumble something, but paid it no attention.
They had major work to do. And despite the fact that it was an unpleasant job, she had been personally recommended to head this operation to train Konoha nins in secret until they were needed by the village.
Besides, the Sandaime had assured her that Naruto would be taken care of, and she knew Iruka would watch out for her former sensei's only son. And Kakashi…..
Well, the green haired woman currently attached to his side was proof enough to her that the Copy-nin didn't need her (or her affections) to live his life.
Her right hand absently went to the pocket the standard issue ANBU dog-tags were in, and she fingered the cold steel to help keep her focus. The pair of tags jostled and clanked together as she channeled more chakra into her feet, picking up even more speed.
Hatake Sakumo…Hatake Kakashi….
Somewhere in the back of her head, she thought the pair of names just might bring her more luck and determination in the coming months than even their previous owner had expected. She pulled them out and slipped them around her neck, tucking them underneath her jacket along with the ones that bore her own name….tags that Kakashi didn't even known existed.
ANBU had requested her assistance….and there was nothing she could do about it.
Failure was not an option at this point.
She can't love him this way
Tsunade tucked the covers around Jiraiya, then turned to leave the room….
Sakura took her position with the other medics, praying for a quick end to it all…
Rin pulled her ivory mask over her face, never to see her loved ones again for years….
It was time to put those chaotic feelings aside.
There was a job to be done…revenges to be paid in blood and wrongs to be rectified with fleeting human lives.
And it was time to put their personal demons aside, to do their part and get things started. Like they'd been told so many, many times before:
Failure was not a viable option at this point.
A/N - I hope everyone enjoyed this little diddy. I don't have much to say, other than please review, because I'd like to hear what your thoughts are.
Until next time,
A.A.