Ever wonder why Daniel cut his hair? Here's the answer!
…
Daniel, fresh from a steaming hot shower, wrapped in only a towel, began to shave his chin. He tried to look through the little patches of mirror that wasn't fogged up, but he couldn't see enough of his face to be comfortable with not cutting himself.
He grabbed the hairdryer and turned it on high, then pointed it at the mirror and watched the glass clear up. Smiling at his easy and perfect solution, Daniel commenced shaving, groaning a couple of times when his hair fell into his eyes. Maybe it was getting a bit too long, Daniel thought.
"I'm not telling Jack." He said to himself while blowing drying his hair. Hell would freeze over before he admitted to Jack that he was right. He'd just tell him something about split ends.
It being an off day, Daniel had plans with Sam to go to the local planetarium and then have lunch. He figured she'd be able to cut his hair, right? She was a woman; didn't all women know how to do stuff like that?
When she rang the doorbell a half-hour later, Daniel smiled. He placed his kitchen sheers, the only scissors he could find, on the kitchen table and greeted her. "Good morning Daniel." She said, stepping past him.
"Hey Sam." He led her into the kitchen where he had a towel under a chair. "Will you do me a favor before we leave?"
She glanced at the towel and immediately knew something was up. "Um…ok?" She asked more than agreed.
"Cut my hair."
"Oh no way! I'm not getting near your hair with scissors!" She glanced at the table again, her eyes widening at the sight of the sheers. "Especially with those!"
"I just want it trimmed a little. Just an inch. You can do that, can't you?" He practically begged.
"I don't know how to cut hair Daniel!"
"But Sam! It's really starting to bother me." He whined.
They had a staring contest for a few moments, each of their pair of blue eyes imploring for the other to give in. Finally Sam sighed and Daniel knew he had won. "If it looks bad, you can't blame me."
"I'm sure it'll look great!" He said enthusiastically. He took off his glasses and eagerly sat in the chair while Sam reached for the kitchen sheers. Never in her life did she doubt her abilities at anything more than this. He had such beautiful hair and she just knew she'd ruin it.
…
"Oops." Sam said, her hand stopping in midair.
"Did you just say 'oops'?" Daniel asked, his body immediately stiff with alarm.
"I told you not to let me cut your hair!" Sam said quickly. Stepping out of his way as he rushed to the bathroom, Sam followed him at a slower pace. She grimaced when she heard him shout her name.
"I told you one inch!" He exclaimed, pointing to the three inches she cut from his bangs. "And you couldn't even get it even!"
"I told you I couldn't cut hair!" She shouted back at him.
He groaned, knowing it was all his fault. "What do we do now? I can't go out like this."
"We can go to a stylist." Sam suggested. It wasn't that bad.
At that moment there was a knock on the door and Daniel didn't even have to tell Sam that he wasn't about to answer it. She opened the door to find Jack standing in front of her. "Sir?"
"Hey Carter. Where's Danny-boy?" Jack asked, looking behind Sam's shoulder to see if Daniel was walking up behind her.
"He's…detained."
Jack raised his eyebrows at her. "Something going on here?" He asked.
"No Sir." Sam said indignantly.
"Can I come in?"
Sam hesitated, but knew he'd get in sooner or later, so she moved out of his way. "I don't think he wants anyone to see him Sir."
"Is he sick?" Jack asked, walking into the kitchen to grab a water bottle. He spotted the floor, littered with hair. Immediately Jack thought the worst and went yelling through the house, hollering for Daniel.
"I'm right here Jack." Daniel said, walking out of the bathroom. "What's wrong?"
Jack reached for Daniel and crushed him in a hug. "I'm here for you buddy." Jack said quietly.
"Uh, thanks Jack, but it was only a haircut."
Jack, confused, looked up at Daniel's head. "A haircut? I thought you had…nevermind." Jack examined Daniel's hair a bit more closely. "Who cut it?" Sam coughed and Jack looked at her, then back at Daniel. "You let Carter cut your hair?" He shook his head, smiling.
"I'm glad you're amused Jack, but I'm screwed."
"I told you we could take you to a stylist." Sam stated.
"Nah, you don't need to go to a 'stylist' like some pansy. I'll cut it."
"You?"
"Sure. I've cut many guys' hair. Sometimes a barber just isn't available and when you have regulations to follow…"
"Yeah, we must all follow the regs." Sam mumbled, turning to follow the guys back into the kitchen.
"Take a seat Danny and I'll show how it's done."
…
"Um, Jack what are you doing?" Daniel asked, watching thick clumps of hair fall into his lap.
"You want it short right?" Jack asked, pausing his motions in mid-snip.
"NO!" Daniel shouted, jumping up and rushing to the bathroom once more.
It was Jack's turn to grimace when he heard Daniel shouting. "I guess I should have been more clear on the only hairstyle I know."
"That would have been a good idea, Sir."
Sam tried to soothe Daniel by explaining that a good hairstylist could fix his hair and make it look very nice. "I'll take you to mine." She offered.
Daniel sat on his bed, refusing to look in a mirror ever again. "I can't believe I let you two touch my hair!"
"It was time you got it cut anyway." Jack stated. "You should let me finish it."
At Daniel's "no-way-are-you-touching-my-hair-ever-again-you-scissors-maniac" look, Jack looked away, his eyes searching for something else to look at, anything would do. Like that book with a fifteen word title.
Sam's phone started to ring and she welcomed the distraction. After a few minutes of talking, Sam hung up with a smile on her face. "Janet is coming over with her trimming scissors."
Daniel sighed, sure that the good doctor would know how to cut hair. Having trimming scissors was a good sign, right?
…
Once again, Daniel rushed to the bathroom to survey the damage. He didn't bother with screaming this time. He walked out of the bathroom and slumped in the couch. "I'm not going back on base until this grows out." He pouted.
Janet frowned. If he had sat still she wouldn't have nicked his ear, causing him to jump and her reaction of snipping more of the strand of hair than she wanted. "I'm sorry Daniel." She said, placing a towel from his kitchen onto his ear.
Daniel sighed. "I should have known better." He took the cloth from her, then took it off his ear. He wasn't even dripping blood.
Jack and Sam were discussing if they should take Daniel to Jack's barber or to Sam's stylist when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it." Janet said, eager to escape the sulking Daniel.
"Who ever it is, they're not cutting my hair!"
Sam smirked at his comment, but Daniel shot her an annoyed glare, making her erase her smile, at least until he wasn't looking at her. Then she enjoyed a smile passed between herself and the Colonel.
"I have stopped by to see if you are busy on our off day." Teal'c said, his presence and the reason he was there. "I see that you are previously engaged, so I will leave you to your plans."
"No, Teal'c, you can stay. We're not going anywhere." Daniel said grumpily.
"Aren't we going to the planetarium?" Sam objected.
"I'm not going like this!"
"Daniel, my barber is going to fix it."
"No, my stylist is. He needs someone who went to school to cut hair."
"Keith's been cutting hair for forty-five years." Jack said, giving Sam a "top that" look.
"Then he's probably old and shaky. Besides, we see how your hair turned out." She smirked at Jack and he shook his head, not really having a comeback.
"I will cut your hair." Teal'c offered.
"Thanks Teal'c, but I'm not letting anyone touch my hair who doesn't have a doctorate in haircutting."
"They don't make those Daniel." Janet told him.
"Exactly."
"I will cut your hair Daniel Jackson." Teal'c offered again.
"Really T, you should probably stay away from that." Jack advised.
"Actually, Sir, how much damage can he do?"
"Indeed." Teal'c agreed. "On Chulak I cut many men's hair."
"Teal'c, you Jaffa wear your hair short, or none at all." Daniel nodded in Teal'c's direction to prove his point.
After a few more moments of arguing, Daniel was back again in the kitchen chair. At least Janet had swept up the chunks of hair he'd already lost. "This will not hurt Daniel Jackson."
"That's what I thought before." Daniel looked over at Janet, who looked away quickly, a light blush rushing her face.
…
The following day Daniel walked into the commissary, proudly sporting a new short hairdo, and joined his team for breakfast. Sam looked up from her muffin and once again admired Daniel's new haircut. He looked handsome and not so boyish. Teal'c did a fantastic job, as they all told him the previous day at Daniel's.
"Morning Danny, how's the ear?" Jack asked with a grin.
Daniel ignored him and sat down next to Teal'c. He thanked the Jaffa again for cutting his hair, then took a bite of his apple. He was mid-chew when Sergeant Siler walked up to the table and stared at him. "Can we help you?" Jack asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Did you have to cut your hair?" Siler asked, still staring at Daniel.
"Uh…what?" Daniel asked, swallowing hard.
"It was bad enough with your Californian cut. We had a hard time getting the girls then, but now…" Siler trailed off. "I've heard about nothing but your hair all morning." Siler looked trully disgusted. "Just don't start beefing up, or we'll never get a date." And he walked off, leaving a confused Daniel to stare after him.
Jack, a bemused grin on his face, whispered to Sam to watch out for Daniel to start sprouting muscles.
A/N: Just an amusing story that popped into my head tonight that I had to write down. I'll write more on my Harley Davidson and Great Minds stories soon! Thanks for reading and I hoped you enjoyed this completely (ok, minus a one liner from Sam) 'ship free story!