The sky today wasn't it's usual radiant blue, today it was a dark gray that seemed to match Carly Shay's mood perfectly. As the first rain drops fell she stuck her hand out from under the umbrella and smiled bitterly "Even the sky is crying for you" she whispered softly.
She wanted to say his name, needed to even, but couldn't. Any attempt to say his name out loud made her want to heave and run away crying. "Calm yourself Carly" she whispered, "You have to be here, for him"
Her black dress clung to her in the cold and she was grateful for the dress coat she wore. As everyone took their seats she fingered the ring around her neck, tied to a small chain that now seemed to way one hindered pounds. Today she was putting the man she loved into the ground. It didn't seem like it had been only an hour since she'd actually said goodbye to him.
The room Freddie's funeral was being held in was packed with friends and family. The walls were a neutral white, making the atmosphere in the room even more depressing. Carly walked up to Spencer with tears in her eyes "How could this happen to him? He didn't deserve this.. He of all people"
Spencer nodded, his black suit a mess from him being in a hurry to get dressed "I'm so sorry kiddo" he whispered "I wish there was something that I could do or say to bring him back.. but I can't" he paused for a moment, obviously thinking. "When Mom died Dad told me something that I never forgot, and I think it holds true in this situation too"
Carly looked up at him and wiped her tears "What did he say?" she asked curiously'
Spencer closed his eyes, obviously reliving a memory he didn't like, and nodded "alright..." he trailed off.
Carly looked confused "Alright what?" she asked
"Hold on" he said quietly, raising his hand to silence her. Finally he said "Dad told me, when Mom died, that sometimes the angels get lonely and need company, and that's why people like Mom die before there time"
Carly nodded and wiped away fresh tears "The Angels get lonely.." she muttered and smiled "You know, you may be right Spencer.. Thank you" she said and hugged him tightly.
"I'm your big brother, it's my job to make you feel better" he said softly, patting her on the back gently.
When it was time for Carly to say her eulogy she walked slowly up the podium they had set up. She scanned the room for Sam, her best friend whom she hadn't seen in months, and shook her head when she saw no sign of the blond. "Figures" she muttered bitterly.
Ever since Sam had vanished there had been a hole in Carly's heart that even Freddie hadn't been able to fill, she knew Sam had been rude, abrasive, and cruel but she had been her best friend and the fact that Sam had just decided to leave with out telling either of them hurt. Now Freddie was gone and that hole seemed to engulf her entire heart until nothing was left but a black hole.
Her hand wandered down to her abdomen and she sighed, yesterday she'd gone to the doctor after feeling sick for the last few days and had been told she was pregnant. If hadn't been for that news she would have been the next one her family would have to bury. Images flashed through her mind of her and Freddie's tombstone and suddenly it seemed so easy, she wanted to be with Freddie so why shouldn't she?
She shook her head again to clear her head of the dark thoughts that had somehow popped into her mind again. Clearing her throat she tried to smile but knew it probably wasn't that convincing. She glanced down at the paper she'd pulled out of her pocket and started reading.
"Fredward Benson was a good man and an amazing friend" she began, "When we started iCarly all those years ago he was a faithful friend who had a crush on me" she allowed herself to smile at the fond memory of an eleven year old Freddie hitting on her "He told me he was in love with me but he knew I just wanted to be friends and he was okay with living with that constant pain."
A few people smiled, two of them softly said "aww" and Mrs. Benson let out a sob. Carly waited for a moment before resuming "I wish now things had been different, but I hadn't been ready for someone like Freddie... He was sweet and sincere and I was shallow and cold" she knew people would disagree but that's how she felt, and she would never forget how much she had hurt him growing up.
"When I discovered I had feelings for Freddie I was shocked, so was Sam I think" she stopped to get her emotions under control before continuing again "But as always he was there waiting for me, in a way I think he was waiting for me to catch up to him since we were eleven." She knew she needed to finish so she folded up the paper and stuck it in her purse again "My Brother told me something just before this service started which I think is true"
She cleared her throat and looked up at the crowd again "He told me that sometimes the angels in heaven get lonely and want company. I think this is true in a way, I think they get lonely and need good people to keep them company, and I can't think of a better person in this world to keep them company than Freddie Benson"
After she finished speaking Carly walked back to her seat and sat beside Spencer who smiled at her. Nodding softly she focused on the reverend and his final words.
Carly snapped back to the future and looked over at Spencer who had his arm around her "When did you get here?" she asked curiously, thankful for him now more than ever.
"I've been here for the last ten minutes, I was talking to Gibby and Mrs. Benson" he said, "how're you holding up kiddo?" he asked.
"I've been better" she muttered. "I was just thinking about the funeral."
"You did good up there kiddo, I think you said it perfectly" he said and patted her on the back "I'm going to go check on Gibby... I'm not quite sure what he's doing over there."
Carly nodded and Spencer walked over to Gibby to see what he was doing. Carly wrapped her arms around herself and tried to keep her thoughts away from the darker, suicidal thoughts that had been creeping into her mind lately. Her hand again rested against her abdomen and she smiled softly before walking over to the coffin and taking a deep breath.
"Freddie" she breathed, staring at the coffin as if any minute now it was going to open and Freddie was going to climb out, kiss her, and tell her it was all a bad dream and she was going to wake up. Finally she reached over and placed a hand on the coffin "Keep the angels company for me Freddie, I'll see you one day" she whispered before turning around and leaving.